Coming Home To Yourself Visualization

Happy New Year y'all.

This is the first time I have uploaded in a couple of months.

I am recording from sunny Selma,

So hey from my corner of the universe to yours.

This meditation is inspired by one of my great friends,

Von's imagery.

They always do this wonderful academic work and these wonderful poems that just depict images of black people flying.

And it made me think about all of the things in my life that have kept me from flying,

Whether figuratively or literally.

And I think about the way those things are just so damn heavy.

I think about when I was an undergrad and there were so many opportunities for me to go and study abroad,

But there was so much fear that other people had put in my mind that didn't allow me to go,

Didn't allow me to go and take those trips,

Didn't allow me to go and fly abroad,

Literally.

And I think about the ways in my spirituality,

In my creativity,

The ways in which other people's projections,

Things that the world has said about us,

Fat phobia,

Transphobia,

Anti-blackness,

Whatever it may be,

The way that these things keep us from flying and really soaring in every area of our life.

So I just wanted to provide a meditation that gave us a little temporary relief and gave us some visualizations of us flying and meeting ourselves and coming home to ourselves.

We often feel like we have to go and get all of these things.

And when I say we,

I'm talking about me.

I often feel like I have to gain all of these things to be happy.

I need this job.

I need that car,

That relationship.

When most of the time the things that we need to feel our best,

It's just we need ourselves.

We need to come home to ourselves.

So this meditation is about flying and it's about coming home.

Thank you,

Von,

For always inspiring me,

Holding me accountable and just being in this with me.

And I hope that you get something from this and that you all leave this meditation a little bit more relaxed than you were when you started.

Sit back,

Relax,

Find a place where you are comfortable and you can take a few moments to yourself.

And let's begin.

Thank you.

Let's start by just breathing all of the air that's in our body.

Let's just push it all out.

Push all the air out until you're empty.

Let's just give ourselves a fresh start to come in this meditation with nothing from before inside of us.

Breathe in.

Hold your breath.

And breathe out.

Breathe in for four seconds.

Hold your breath for three seconds.

And exhale for five seconds.

Inhale for four seconds.

Hold your breath for four seconds.

And exhale for five seconds.

I want you to keep following that breath.

Four,

Four,

Five.

Inhale for four seconds.

Hold your breath for four seconds.

And then exhale for five seconds.

And we're going to keep following this breath just so we can get relaxed,

So we can get grounded.

And you can listen to the sound of my voice.

If you're comfortable,

Close your eyes.

I want you to picture yourself walking down a long dirt road.

There isn't much vegetation.

You don't see much grass.

It's dry.

It's windy.

The sand kicks up in the wind.

The dirt hits you in the face.

But you keep walking up ahead at the end of the road.

You see a path that leads into a cave.

You keep walking,

Despite the wind,

Despite the dirt hitting your face,

Despite how dry the climate is,

You keep walking.

As you're walking,

You feel your shoulders getting heavier and heavier.

With each step,

It becomes more unbearable.

You have a book bag on.

In this book bag,

There feel so many things.

So many things that you don't need.

So many things that don't even belong to you.

So many things that aren't even true about you.

It is causing you physical pain.

It is slowing you down.

You notice in your hands,

You're carrying two rocks.

These two rocks represent the things that you tell yourself,

The things that you believe about yourself.

Just two things.

They're also making you tired.

You have all of this weight in your hand,

But you don't need it.

What does the rock in your left hand represent?

What is the lie that you told yourself,

That you believed about yourself,

That has been so heavy?

In your left hand,

Every day,

As you go to work,

As you go to school,

What does this rock represent?

What does the rock in the right hand represent?

What have you been carrying?

I want you to look at those rocks and look at them good.

Know that these heavy burdens are untruths.

These heavy burdens do not represent who you are.

They are not a reflection of your divinity.

They are not a reflection of your worthiness.

They're not a reflection of anything,

But the fact that you just have believed something about yourself that hasn't been true.

And it's okay,

Because I've been there.

So many people have been there.

But now,

I want you to let those rocks go.

Just drop them.

You don't have to throw them.

You don't have to do anything extra.

Just drop them and keep walking.

Don't even look back at them.

Just keep walking.

You've noticed that you've gotten closer to the cave.

It's much easier to walk now that you have these large rocks out of your hand.

But your shoulders still hurt.

You're still carrying weight that you can drop.

You're able to make it to the cave.

Away from the wind,

Away from the sand,

Away from the dry climate.

Despite the heavy rocks that have been causing you pain,

That have been slowing you down,

You made it inside the cave.

Inside the cave,

You see blue and green and red crystals lining all along the wall.

On the ground,

It is riddled with beautiful pink rose quartz.

They all lead down up until the end of the cave,

Where there's a small stairwell.

The stairwell is only large enough for you.

It's perfect,

Actually.

It's like this stairwell was made for you.

Like you were born to come into this cave.

In this moment,

As you are,

As you look,

As you weigh,

As you exist,

It is perfect for your body.

It is perfect for your spirit to get through.

But only if you let go of the book bag.

What's in there?

I want you to really acknowledge the things that you want to get rid of before you extend a sin up this cave.

Did people tell you that you needed to change your body?

Did people tell you that the way your mind works was wrong?

Were people ableist to you?

You realize that you have been carrying these things,

The ableism,

The transphobia,

The racism,

The misogyny,

Whatever.

These things,

You have been carrying them as if they came from you.

You have been carrying them as if they are your absolute truth.

But you realize they aren't.

You realize that they're just words.

They're just things that have happened to you,

That have been given to you,

That have been said to you,

That are not from you.

These things have made you feel like you needed to seek this thing and that thing in order to become who you wanted to be.

When really all you needed to do was listen to yourself.

Before you know it,

You've dropped that book bag with all its messy contents.

And you find yourself walking forward through this hole.

It gets dark for a second.

It's unfamiliar.

But then on the other side,

There is a large pillar.

You walk out of the cave into a beautiful,

Lush space filled with greenery,

Filled with flowers,

Filled with fruit trees,

Vegetation grows on the side of the road.

There is so much life here.

And at the end of the road that you are now traveling on,

You see this beautiful,

Tall pillar.

You know you need to get to the top.

But you don't see any staircases.

You see no way to climb and make it to the top of this pillar.

But suddenly,

The wind picks up again.

But this time it is not throwing dirt in your face.

This time it's lifting you up.

You're flying.

The wind kisses your face,

Lifts you up,

And carries you to the top of the pillar.

As you make your way up,

You move through the clouds.

You see birds flying.

You see the top of the trees.

It is like something out of a movie,

Out of a dream.

Before you know it,

You're at the top of the pillar.

And there,

You find yourself.

But it's not you of today.

It's four-year-old you,

Sitting there playing,

Laughing,

Happy.

They have been waiting for you to come back home to yourself.

They have been waiting for you to realize that you have everything you need.

That you can fly,

Even if it's just in your dreams.

You walk up.

It's a four-year-old you.

You look up at yourself and you smile.

You look down at yourself and you smile.

Ask yourself,

What do you need?

Ask your younger self,

What do you need from me?

How can I make you more whole in this moment?

What can I lift up off of your shoulders in this moment?

What can I do to bring you joy?

What does your younger self say?

What do they need from you?

I want you to wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself the tightest hug.

Lock the answer from your younger self deep in your heart.

And remember what it is that your inner child needs from you.

I want your breath to return to normal.

And I want you to picture you and your inner child.

Take a mental snapshot of that hug.

And I want you to start returning to the room that you're in.

Bring some feeling back into your body.

Wiggle your fingers,

Wiggle your toes.

Rock from side to side.

Whatever you do,

Just do it gently.

This meditation was designed to help give you a visualization of flight.

And to create a mental ritual of you coming home to yourself.

I hope that it was useful.

And I hope that you got what you need.

I'm Desi Hall and thank you for listening to Meditations with Desi.

I love you so much.

Stay safe.

Stay masked up.

And don't get caught up.