The customary traditions of dying and eternal life mark the sheer wonder of love ever-present and now a part of me.
The tenderness of knowing,
Knowing that in the space and time you've lived an abundance of love,
Your place of comfort is in knowing peace.
Peace towards all of the miracles of life lived.
Peace towards all of what has come before,
All that has never been resolved.
Peace felt and breathed within your heart for the moments lived in now.
There is no more sadness nor sorrow,
No unfulfilled wishes,
Rather acceptance,
Presence,
Honoring what moments exist before you.
There are numerous social mores for the expected reactions to death and dying,
Numerous facets of conditioning paint the nuances of what we are expected to do and say.
Most of these tribal customs do not take into account how the grief cycle is driven by a need to maintain a status quo,
Acknowledging repetition of life and a fear of mortality itself.
The common experiences to all of humankind is birth and death.
How each one of us interprets the dying and death of our loved ones is unconsciously measured by the relationship we have,
And have had with that person,
And how we have made peace with ourselves of this reality.
Life happenstance is never in vain.
When you begin the journey of reconciliation,
Of acceptance,
Of a life and a relationship with a loved one that is far from perfect,
You begin the process of liberating yourself from grief.
Grief is to be overcome with sorrow.
It is further defined as mental and emotional suffering and distress caused by loss or regret.
When we feel irretrievable grief,
We are grieving for what is lost,
For what was never present,
For regrets of earlier times,
For latitudes of deep sorrow,
For wishing what could be different,
For lamenting on what was,
For what we deem to be unjust,
Unfair,
Undeserving.
Modern grief cycles interpret the traditional and often variable states of denial,
Anger,
Bargaining,
Depression,
And acceptance as typical,
Yet one facet of the voluminous studies of grief that we hear much less about.
That is,
To focus on building loving and kind relationships with those still living.
How can you live with the acceptance and the thorough practice of healing boundaries which enables you to heal what is not changeable?
How can you accept the limitations of your relationship and find the new ground for which you can live in the authority of what will honor you?
We have such difficulty with loss and death because our relationships and the situations of our life have been difficult at times,
Damaged,
Unhealed,
Without the possibility for the other person to make amends.
To apologize.
Without a needed change in their behavior,
There is much that we are left to figure out on our own.
I know the helpfulness that can be found when you and the other person have had the conversations,
The meaningful dialogue,
The openness that reveals self-honesty,
And a realistic look at yourself and for what you needed the relationship to be.
For love's cradled ground is before you now.
You find peace in the present,
In the gratitude and love that you are holding onto here,
And for all of the love you lived in their presence and also because of that person.
With clients,
What often comes out of grief is the opportunity for self-examination,
Self-reflection,
And a path towards what positive change has been waiting.
Lighting a path towards greater excellence,
Finding peace through the careful examination of who you are now,
The past never retrievable,
Becomes a learning ground for what you become.
Finding peace with death and dying is finding peace with your life and how you are living.
For the glorious mysteries of life include knowledge of the trajectory forward,
In so that you reveal all of life's beautiful possibilities before you,
And all to create the true measures of what you've always wanted.
Create the life that has in part escaped you until now.
Acknowledge all of the glorious gifts you've been given.
Soften into the messaging that says,
I am my greatest authority.
I am honorable,
Gracious,
Loving.
I am patient,
Tender,
And kind.
For the greatest way to find peace in the experience of death is to create and live peace each day of your life,
To enable this to be present in all of your relationships,
Simply by holding presence to peace yourself.
The creative commitment you hold to life's invaluable moments forever shines light on your willingness to hold integrity for what is known in the simple pleasures of each new moment before you.
Death and dying become an experience that we live far more aware of,
Our own mortality included.
It is for the ability to see and know the sacred in all of life's moments,
To not fear the future,
To live in the greatest possible expression of the present,
And all towards loving the perfection of yourself lived here and now.
Find solace in grief through the resolve to live in the present,
To embrace the expressions of all that life has given you,
And to understand that tenderness and love unto yourself and to all others is the path to living in grace,
In harmony,
In peace.
And of course,
If you would like my help as you navigate your personal experiences of death and dying,
And the loss that you feel,
Please reach out to me for the individual work that will honor what you need.
Thank you so much.
This is Dorothy Sonori Echuno.
Namaste.
