Dealing With Negativeness Like Greed And Lust - Is That The Goal Of A Spiritual Life?

Why did you come to India?

Why did you come to the spiritual path?

I wanted to understand what my goal is in life.

Okay,

So there is some thirst of knowing something that is unknown.

Yes.

From where did such a question come?

You were making your money,

You were out there doing your career,

Your family.

Then why did such a question come up?

Because there is no satisfaction no matter how much money I have,

No matter how much sex I get.

And there is no end to it.

It only gets bigger and bigger.

The hole or the,

You can say,

The thirst for it.

The thirst is never satiated.

So that is the key reason.

I feel that I have done so much in life,

The point that I started from,

I have gone through a number of situations.

But yet,

You know,

My continuous rigor for getting more money,

That is not dying out.

My continuous thirst for getting more sex,

That is not dying out.

Those are two weak areas that I have.

That's okay,

That's okay.

Don't label yourself.

When we label ourselves,

Then we create a ghost inside,

You know,

And that ghost is beaten up again and again.

See,

You are the bad part of me,

You are the bad part of me.

You keep beating him.

Poor little guy,

You first trapped him in a cupboard and then you keep hitting him every now and then.

Then this creates,

You know,

A feeling of I am not good.

So first of all,

Stop doing this.

This is a very natural thing that is there in every separate self.

Separate self is nothing but the ego.

Yes,

So it is a very natural thing that everybody has something or the other which is their weakness and which has started the chain of karma for them.

Okay,

And that is the reason that we are born.

We are born out of our own karmas or karma,

Karmas that we have done previously and this birth is the karma phalam.

Yes,

Now it's no point beating yourself up for doing those karmas.

Yeah,

That is water under the bridge,

That's silly.

It's over.

Correct.

So that's what you're doing.

You're beating yourself for the past,

Which does not make sense.

So step number one,

Recognize that it's pointless to beat myself for that.

What I can do is be compassionate with myself.

Drop the beating.

When you suppose,

I don't know if you have a teenager,

But if you have a teenager at home and if you keep beating this kid up and forcing him do this and don't do this,

You know how they behave.

They are like a sulking person sitting in the corner all the time,

Not really happy to be with you.

Right?

Yes.

That will be the relationship you will create with your own self if you keep beating yourself up.

A part of you which gets beaten up like this continuously will be sulking in a corner and will never be friendly with you,

Will never be open with you.

And that part of us becomes so sad.

That is the part that never lets us be at peace.

So most of us make this mistake.

That's fine.

Once you realize that I should stop beating myself,

That's the first step we take in that direction.

And secondly,

The path of Advaita says we will deal with all the negativities later.

First thing,

This is the direct path.

First you know the knower of the thirst for money,

The knower of the thirst for sex,

The knower of this father of these kids,

The knower of this person who has made this money.

Have you recognized that knower?

No.

Now you are talking to me.

Okay.

I am on your screen.

Your eyes are looking at the screen.

Yes.

Yes.

Your mind knows that the eyes are open.

Yes.

Yes.

Do you notice there is something behind that is quietly knowing the mind?

I know that by virtue of the philosophy you shared,

But I have yet to see it.

I have yet to.

.

.

Okay.

Are you aware right now?

Yes,

I am aware.

Where did you go to know that you are aware?

How did you find out?

Just inside.

Inside.

Correct.

So where did you go?

Was the answer with the mind?

Yes.

I think I just thought and that thought came in the mind.

The thought came in the mind first,

Am I aware?

First question,

Am I aware?

Who is asking this question in you?

I think the mind is asking that question.

Correct.

If mind is asking the question means the mind does not know the answer.

Yes.

So where did the mind go?

Deeper.

It went to a level where there is some silence behind.

Yes.

There is,

Correct.

Yes.

It went to that silence.

Yes.

It tasted the silence and then formulated it into words and said,

Yes,

I am aware.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

So you have experienced it.

Yes.

You know it.

Yes.

Yes.

So that is the awareness.

It is that simple.

It is not complicated.

Don't expect some blue light,

Yellow light to shine from inside and some wings.

Some wings come up and you start flying,

Sumit flying in this.

I don't understand.

I don't have that expectation also.

So it is just that awareness.

I got it.

So that noor is always there.

This was the first leg of the meditation that we just did.

Yesterday.

No,

Just right now.

When I asked you,

Are you aware and you went in and then the mind went into the silence and then came out and said,

Yes,

I am aware.

So we finished the first leg of the meditation.

Right now.

Yes.

Yeah.

So now go back to that awareness.

It is there.

Yes.

Yeah.

You are that awareness.

You are not this body that is nodding the head.

Is that apparent to you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's getting apparent now.

Good.

So that noor knows that sumit is nodding his head in agreement.

The mind is saying,

Yes,

It's becoming a bad apparent.

So the noor knows.

Yes.

Now how big is this noor?

Is it only limited here?

See,

Feel it.

So the noor actually is the insight that you are saying.

So it knows that noor has the desire for money and other things.

Do you think the noor has desire for money?

When the desire comes up,

Okay,

I want more.

I have already one million.

I want two million.

Who's talking?

Actually the mind is talking.

Perfect.

How do you know the mind is talking?

Who knows that the mind is saying this?

Because habha toke hain manne ho saath hai.

Okay,

Philosophy.

No philosophy,

No philosophy.

Only experience.

Right now,

If sumit says in his mind,

I have one million but I want two million.

It is the mind talking.

How do you know that it is the mind talking?

Who knows that it is the mind talking?

The noor knows the mind is talking.

So the noor is there no?

Yes,

The noor is there.

So the noor is there continuously.

Is the noor craving for that money?

No,

No,

Not the noor,

The mind is craving for that money.

Perfect,

Perfect.

So you are very clear now that craving arises in the mind.

Similarly,

Aversion to something if there is some aversion that also arises in the mind.

Yes?

It comes up,

It plays for a while,

It goes away in the form of thoughts and feelings and drama created and then it goes away.

The noor is always in the background.

The noor knows that these came up,

They played for a while in my mind and they went away.

And again,

After some time they come,

They play and they go away.

Yeah.

The noor remains untouched by all this.

Yeah.

But yet the surprising part is in spite of entire consciousness,

We take actions which are in line with what the mind wants.

Like whether it is money related or it is other.

I gave you the answer on Sunday,

That's because the ego identifies itself as I.

Yeah.

Now the noor was not recognized by you.

Yes?

Yeah.

Ego does not exist,

There is no entity like ego.

Ego is just a thought that arises in the mind and it starts with the letter I.

That's all it is.

Yeah.

It is not a continuous existing entity called I.

It is just the activity of thinking,

A sentence that starts with I,

A feeling that starts with I.

It comes up,

It stays for a while,

It identifies with the body as I,

It identifies with the mind as I.

And because it identifies with the mind as I,

It says now I want money,

I have to make this money.

Do you get it?

Yeah.

So it is.

.

.

Yeah,

I got it.

So the mistake is on the part of the I thought.

The noor knows this but because the ego is so strong,

We ignore the noor.

It is like a small little ignore object sitting in the background and we get lost in this drama.

Yes?

And Vaita is saying,

See this noor is always there in your experience,

Not in philosophy.

Now you give energy to this noor and recognize this I thought when it comes up.

It is the ego,

You don't fuel it.

Let this noor grow.