I Am That - Session 83 - All Suffering Is Born Of Desire - 2

Questioner,

A friend of mine used to have horrible dreams night after night.

Going to sleep would terrorize him.

Nothing could help him.

Maharaj,

Company of the truly good,

Satsang,

Would help him.

Questioner says,

Life itself is a nightmare.

Maharaj says,

Noble friendship,

Satsang,

Is the supreme remedy for all ills,

Physical and mental.

Questioner says,

Generally one cannot find such friendship.

Maharaj says,

Seek within.

Your own self is your best friend.

Is that very clear?

Yes,

Straight to the heart.

What is he telling you indirectly?

You don't need bad company.

You don't need any company outside.

If you get stuck in company outside,

What happens,

Where are you stuck?

In the outer.

Will you be able to turn towards the inner?

No.

So,

Therefore,

You have to not be attached even to Eta.

Do you get this?

Even though you consider her to be good company,

You should not get attached to the name and form.

Yes,

Get attached to the path.

Get attached to the path.

This path,

This is the way that will take me.

I'll just continue on the path,

Yes,

Without the name,

Without the form.

The path gets lighted and tells you your guru is within.

Your best friend is also within.

You turn inwards and you go inwards,

Not to get attached to the outer at all.

Has this become very clear?

Yes.

So,

What will be the homework you will take from this?

Find your best friend.

For that,

What do you have to do?

What do you have to give up?

The outer,

The outer company.

Yes,

Especially those people who are going deeper into Vairagya.

How will Vairagya go to Uparati level?

When you start recognising the outer is only an illusion.

All outer friends,

Outer family,

Outer whatever,

Whatever names,

Forms,

All are an illusion.

Yes,

There is no best friend outside.

There is the best friend here.

Clear?

So,

Take the hint from there and start cleaning here.

It's very cluttered,

Very cluttered,

Clean,

Clean,

Clean.

You have more than a human best friend outside.

You have many gadgets now and then all your social media platforms,

Etc.

,

Etc.

,

Etc.

You have a lot of work compared to our olden times.

We only had books.

You have too much clutter externally.

Start cleaning up the room,

Clean it up.

Minimalism is the way.

Minimalism in everything.

Clear?

Questioner,

Why is life so full of contradictions?

Maharaj,

It serves to break down mental pride.

We must realise how poor and powerless we are.

As long as we delude ourselves by what we imagine ourselves to be,

To know,

To have,

To do,

We are in a sad plight indeed.

Please highlight this.

Very important.

As long as I am going to delude myself and imagine myself to be somebody,

Something who knows,

Who has this,

Who owns this,

Who does this,

Do you see doership there,

Ownership there?

Do you see experiencership there,

Somebody-ness there?

Are you seeing all these?

Only in complete self-negation there is chance to discover our real being.

What is complete self-negation?

Neti neti.

I am not the experiencer,

I am not the doer,

I am not the owner.

In fact,

I am not even I.

To that point.

Move from the outer towards the inner and even drop the I.

Only in complete self-negation,

There is a chance to discover our real being.

Questioner,

Why so much stress on self-negation,

Maharaj?

As much as on self-realisation,

Yeah,

It's equal,

Equivalent.

The false self must be abandoned before the real self can be found.

This is your master key,

Yes?

This is your sutra.

You cannot say,

Oh,

I don't want to abandon this outer first to give me the inner wealth.

No,

It is a one way street.

To go this way,

This needs to be abandoned and then this can be realised.

Is this very clear?

Are you ready to abandon?

That is the main question to ask yourself.

Next homework question.

Am I ready to abandon?

Am I ready to abandon the false self?

Questioner,

The self you choose to call false is to me most distressingly real.

It is the only self I know.

What you call the real self is a mere concept,

A way of speaking,

A creature of the mind,

An attractive ghost.

My daily self is not a beauty,

I admit it,

But it is my own and only self.

You say I am or have another self.

Do you see it?

Is it a reality to you or do you want me to believe what you yourself don't see?

He gets witnessing a little bit,

But he doesn't get it fully.

You get glimpses,

Even the most ignorant one gets glimpses.

You had these glimpses,

Right?

Whatever you've discovered in these four days.

It's not something new that I've been telling you.

You just were pushing it.

He saw and when he sees somebody like Maharaj,

He talks about the glimpses,

But he doesn't have enough conviction in them.

He talks a little bit about it and then again he goes back to his confusion.

You also,

You take the witnessing stand for some time,

You're clear.

Again you come back to the body mind person and again you become the person.

So this happened to him right here while talking to Maharaj.

He was here and suddenly he's here.

It happens to you in one-on-one also.

And I remind you,

Okay,

Now see where you're talking from,

Go back again.

And then I take you to the witnessing space and then you go back and then again you come to the right answer.

So many people happen today only.

So exactly that's what is happening.

He gets established,

Again psst,

Again he goes there,

Again psst.

So you must be identifying with this very clearly,

Right?

So he asked him,

That witnessing awareness that I am,

Do you see it?

He's asking Maharaj,

Do you see my witnessing awareness space?

Is it really there?

That is what he's saying,

I'll read it again.

You say I am or that I have another self other than the false ego.

Do you see it?

Is it a reality to you or do you want me to believe what you yourself don't see?

Did you get that question now?

He's asking,

Do you see my witnessing awareness space?

That is what he's asking.

Maharaj says,

Don't jump to conclusions rashly.

The concrete need not be the real,

The conceived need not be false.

Sensations based on sensations and shaped by memory imply a perceiver whose nature you never cared to examine.

Give it your full attention,

Examine it with loving care and you will discover heights and depths of being which you did not dream of,

Engrossed as you are in your puny image of yourself.

For the ignorant one,

What is concrete?

Body.

This person,

I am somebody and I am somebody in a world where I am better than the others.

Very concrete,

Me in this world.

Is this very clear?

The concrete need not be the real.

Even though it seems concrete,

It is really not real.

That's what he's saying.

The conceived need not be false.

This witnessing awareness is not so concrete.

Sometimes I conceive of it,

Sometimes not when I get lost in the world.

This is not false.

Perceptions based on sensations and shaped by memory imply a perceiver whose nature you never cared to examine.

So what are these perceptions?

Perception of sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch.

What are they based on?

Sensation.

Sensation.

Which sensation?

The body.

The body is the sensation.

On whom?

On the basis of whom perception of sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch are based?

How?

Memory.

Where are the senses?

Where are the sense organs?

On the body.

On the body.

Yeah.

So now I'll read that again.

Perception,

Sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch based on sensation,

The body and shaped by memory.

All stories put together is memory.

They imply a perceiver.

That means there is no real perceiver.

This is one wave of sensation that arises and falls.

This is waves of perceptions that arise and fall.

Putting all these perception waves together,

Putting the sensation waves together,

A memory is weaved.

A story is weaved.

And that is the perceiver.

So does the perceiver really exist?

Beautiful,

No?

This perceiver's nature you have never cared to examine.

What is its real nature?

It's an illusion.

The nature of a wave is to arise and to fall.

It's an illusion.

Yeah.

You've never cared to examine it.

So examine it.

Give it your full attention.

Examine it with loving care and you will discover heights and depths of being which you did not even dream of.

You could have never thought of it that way.

Those who've come here first time,

Did you ever think of the world as perception,

Sensation,

Thought and feeling?

Did you ever think of it as just waves?

Did you think of this person that you thought,

I am,

As just a wave?

Did you even dream of it being like that?

Only when you examine it in depth,

Then you can see the truth.

Give it your full attention.

Examine it with loving care and you will discover heights and depths of being which you did not dream of,

Engrossed as you are in your puny image of yourself.

Questioner says,

I must be in the right mood to examine myself fruitfully.

Maharaj says,

You must be serious,

Intent,

Truly interested.

You must be full of goodwill for yourself.

You check.

Do you have these four qualities?

Are you serious?

Are you intent?

You could be here with the wrong intent also.

So you check your intent.

Next check,

Are you truly interested?

There was resistance from inside.

You are not truly interested.

That is your own testimony.

It has come from inside.

You are not truly interested.

And last is goodwill.

Are you filled with goodwill for yourself?

The highest good,

The greater good,

Not good as in from this outer world,

That's not good at all.

That's only dukkha.

And the greatest good is reality.

So do you have that or wishing good you want the next Apple watch or the next whatever,

Whatever.

That kind of goodwill is puny image of yourself.

Are you stuck in a puny image of yourself?

Or do you have that greater good in your sight for yourself?

Questioner says,

I am selfish.

All right.

Maharaj says,

You are not.

You are all the time destroying yourself and your own by serving strange gods,

Inimical and false.

You are destroying yourself.

Stop worshipping outside.

There is only one direction.

Start moving.

If you keep worshipping outside,

You will be stuck at the outer.

You will not be able to move in.

So move in.

Drop this outer,

However hard it is.

Now take it up.

Courageously take it up.

Stop it.

So stop destroying yourself,

He says.

You are all the time destroying yourself and your own by serving strange gods,

Inimical and false.

By all means,

Be selfish the right way,

Wish yourself well,

Labor at what is good for you.

Destroy all that stands between you and happiness.

Be all,

Love all,

Be happy,

Make happy.

No happiness is greater.

Is he talking the happiness that comes from sex,

Money,

Lust,

Power,

Politics?

Which happiness is he talking about?

Ananda.

Ananda is only inwards,

Not here,

Not in the outer.

It's in the inner.

Look in the right direction.

That is wishing good for yourself.

The moment you move in this direction,

You're wishing bad for yourself.

You're running behind the newest Apple phone,

The latest designer clothes,

The most handsome hunk and the most beautiful woman out there.

You are destroying yourself.

You're running into religious practices and observances.

You're destroying yourself.

You're running into idols and external worship.

You're destroying yourself,

External guru,

External God.

You're destroying yourself.

This is not goodwill.

Turning inwards is goodwill.

So vairagya towards this.

Then only uparati,

Withdrawing from it happens and then you can move towards mumukshutva.

Is this clear?

Yeah.

Mumukshutva,

That inner urge to find my true nature.

Then the final deliverance from suffering,

Getting rid of suffering,

Moksha happens.

That is goodwill.

And anything that is standing in between,

Cut it off,

Break it off,

Whatever it is.

Bad company,

Cut it off.

Bad relationships,

Cut them off.

Anything that is not right for you,

Cut it off.

Religious practices,

Completely cut them off.

Religion divides,

Says my God is better than your God.

My priest is better than your priest.

That religion that divides,

How can it allow you to see oneness?

To come to Advaita,

You will have to drop every religion,

Every naama roopa.

Are you ready?

Do you have the courage?

There is no option given here.

If you're really serious,

You will have to destroy everything that stands between you and Ananda.

Question,

Why is there so much suffering in love?

Maharaj says,

All suffering is born of desire.

True love is never frustrated.

How can the sense of unity be frustrated?

What can be frustrated is the desire for expression.

Such desire is of the mind.

As with all things mental,

Frustration is inevitable.

All suffering is born of desire and where does desire,

What does it belong to?

The mind.

Yes,

It is all mental,

All mental.

True love is never frustrated.

Those who recognize the oneness.

There was no seer,

No seeing,

No seen.

There was no toucher,

No touching,

No touched.

There was no thinker,

No thinking,

No thought.

There was no smeller,

No smelling,

No smelled.

And there was no taster,

No tasting,

No tasted.

When you recognize that oneness,

In that flavor of oneness,

Was there any room for frustration?

That oneness is Ananda.

That oneness is Prema.

The ultimate happiness,

The ultimate love,

There,

There is no room for frustration.

So true love is never frustrated.

How can the sense of unity be frustrated?

How can oneness be frustrated?

It's not possible.

And those who went one step deeper,

What is this oneness made of?

Nothingness.

Can nothingness be frustrated?

Is this very,

Very clear?

That nothingness,

Can it be divided?

That nothingness is like this space.

Can you divide space?

How many ever walls I build and I close all the windows,

Can I say I have divided the space?

It cannot be divided.

Nothingness cannot be divided.

It cannot be broken.

It cannot be destroyed.

There is no question of any frustration there.

Do you understand how intact Ananda is,

How intact oneness is?

Yes,

There is no two there,

No possibility of a two there.

So how can unity or the sense of unity,

This oneness be frustrated or divided or broken?

It cannot,

Clear?

What can be frustrated is the desire for expression.

Where does the desire arise from?

Where is the beginning point?

The I.

And the I wants to exist,

To experience,

To express itself,

To validate itself,

To reassure,

To reconfirm itself.

Do you see?

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I,

I.

That is the job of the I.

Along with it comes frustration.

Is this very clear how dukkha comes?

Such desire is of the mind.

I is the beginning point of the mind.

As with all things mental,

Frustration is inevitable.

What is the place of sex in love?

Maharaj says love is a state of being.

Sex is energy.

Love is wise.

Sex is blind.

Once the true nature of love and sex is understood,

There will be no conflict nor confusion.

Next homework question.

Do I have this conflict?

Do I have this confusion between sex and love or am I clear about them?

Do I see that love is wise,

Sex is blind?

Do I see that love is a state of being?

Or do I think they are one and the same?

That is the question for self-inquiry.

It's very important to overcome this thing because this is very related to the body.

I am the body.

What are the two basic instincts of the body?

Eating and sex.

Food and sex.

These are the two basic instincts.

And if you're attached to either of these,

It'll be very,

Very hard to move from I am the body to I am not the body.

These could be the biggest obstacle to moving towards the highest truth.

Questioner,

There is so much sex without love.

Maharaj says without love,

All is evil.

Life itself without love is evil.

Please highlight.

Going forward,

You should protect your Samadhi in this way.

Anything evil is going to destroy my Samadhi.

Anything evil.

Even if I attain Nirvikalpa Samadhi in this retreat,

I step out into Samsara and I indulge in a little bit of evil.

It's gone.

Even Nirvikalpa Samadhi will go.

So you have to make that strong,

Very strong decision of cutting all the cords.

In this case,

Destroying all evil.

A Sankalpa,

An intention in that direction is sufficient.

Then the flow will take you there.

There is a reason the flow brought this to you.

Allow the flow to take you there.

You just have that inclination,

That intent,

That interest,

That goodwill for yourself.

The rest will happen.

If there is no love there,

It is evil.

Simple.

He has simplified it.

It couldn't be simpler than this.

It's not just about sex.

It's about your work.

It's about your relationships.

It's about your money,

Family,

Friends.

Your social environment,

Your circle,

Everything,

All of it.

If there is an area where there is no love,

It is evil.

Samadhi needs to be earned.

It must be earned.

After it is earned,

It must be preserved and protected from all elements,

Including evil.

And for that,

If you have to sacrifice the world,

You must sacrifice the world.

Destroy anything that stands between you and Ananda.

Destroy that.

So you have to find your way.

I cannot describe more in detail because I cannot see your personal flow.

You have to see it.

You have to go in that direction.

You have to find the answer at the personal level.

Simply have the intention of uprooting the evil.

Simply have that intention and filling everything with love.

And where there is no love coming in,

That needs to be out.

Clear?

Come to the last.

What can make me love?

Maharaj says you are love itself when you are not afraid.

Look at that condition.

What does it mean?

When the cunning mind comes in and says,

Oh,

I am love only,

That time you are saying it out of fear.

There's cunningness.

There is a conditionality.

There is a greed,

A lobha.

You want something.

That is where you come up with excuses.

When there is no excuse,

You are love.

You are love.

There's no fear there.

And that love I'm talking about,

The oneness love.

Not the love between two individuals,

That you are doing business,

All of you.

Even mother and son are doing business here.

So all conditional,

All conditional,

Face the truth.

You are doing business.

It's all trade.

Get out of this nonsense.

Have the courage to say,

Yes,

This is not love.

This is simply need.

I need a companion.

I need you.

You need me.

That's it.

Now it's time to unlearn all that and recognize the truth.

Now is the time.

So get out of that farce thing.

All this between two individuals,

Only competition is there.

Look here also.

Here also you want to compete.

Here also there's a running race.

On the spiritual path also,

Stop.

Just look within.

There's nobody out there.

So face it.

Drop this.

This is only need for companionship because you're looking at the outer.

When you start looking at the inner,

You do not need anybody here.

That does not mean that you break all your relationships,

But they will all start turning around and recognizing,

Oh,

She's found that inner wealth,

Even I need to find it.

Then they start looking for their inner wealth.

Get it?

Yeah.

So it's a skill.

Develop that skill.

Develop that skill.

Yeah.

That completes the chapter,

Short chapter today.