Nature Of The Self Session 11- I Am Merely The Knower

Salaam!

Salaam!

Salaam!

Salaam!

Next question.

But why should these three states come and go on the real state or the screen of the self?

He understood his example of the screen,

Right?

Where he said the self is like the screen and waking,

Dreaming and deep sleep are just images that come up on the screen,

Play for a while and they go away.

The screen remains untouched.

Yeah,

So that is what he is referring to.

That screen of the self.

So why should these three states come and go on the screen of the self?

Who puts this question?

Does the self say these states come and go?

It is the seer who says these come and go.

The seer and the seen together constitute the mind.

See if there is such a thing as the mind.

Then the mind merges in the self and there is neither the seer nor the seen.

So the real answer to your question is they neither come nor go.

The self alone remains as it ever is.

Now you are looking at the screen.

Perception of sight.

You can hear the sound of the words.

That's perception of sound.

There are some thoughts arising in your mind and they are setting.

Can you see the thoughts?

Maybe it's an echo of the same words that I am seeing.

Can you see those thoughts arising and setting?

Can you see you are thinking?

Did you create that thought that just arose and went away?

But yet it manifested.

The thought manifested.

Some of you got consumed also in the thought.

And said my thought.

Some of you just witnessed it arise and go away.

So the thought manifested but yet it is not my own creation.

How many of you get this?

Like really see it experientially?

Superb.

You are very close that means.

So now if you see this very clearly be attentive.

A feeling arises.

That feeling it arises,

It plays for a while and it goes away.

Did you make the feeling arise?

Are you responsible for it to arise?

Did you create it or generate it in any way?

Do you notice that you recognize it after it has arisen?

So what is your role?

Your role is only knowing that which has arisen.

Correct?

You only know the thought after it has arisen and passed away.

You know the feeling only after it has arisen and it starts playing.

Somewhere in the middle you catch it.

You never ever catch it at its source.

So what is your function really?

All that your function is,

Is knowing.

You never create a thought.

You never create a feeling.

You never create a perception.

And we'll keep perceptions there difficult to see at this level.

You'll keep them aside.

You never create a sensation that is arising in your body.

Pain,

Discomfort,

Crawling,

Tingling,

Whatever sensations there in the body.

It just arose.

You didn't create it.

Are you seeing this?

Is this 100% clear?

I am not the creator.

I am not the generator.

Yet it manifests.

I just know it.

This is my only function.

I only know it.

Now,

Whatever,

You're not doing any action,

But if you get up and you do something,

Pick up a glass of water and drink it.

You will notice that it is happening.

Action is happening.

Perception of sight is happening.

I am only knowing it.

The body is moving on its own.

The conversation is happening on its own.

I am only knowing it.

Start recognizing this thing,

Then you become very clear.

I forget that I am simply the knower and I start feeling that I did this action and become the doer.

I only assume that I did the action.

I only assume that I thought this thought.

I only assume that I am feeling whatever jealousy is coming up.

I am feeling jealous.

No,

I am only knowing the feeling of jealousy arise and pass away.

I am only knowing a thought arise and pass away.

I am only knowing an action happened by this body and pass away.

I am just knowing that's all.

If this becomes very very crystal clear,

Then you will understand this as if you know it.

I will read that again.

Does the self say these three states come and go?

It is the seer who says these come and go.

Seer here is who?

The knower.

The one who is saying I know them.

I see them.

If he remains as the witness,

He is witnessing they just come and they go.

But when we are not the seers,

We get consumed.

When we are not consumed,

When we are the witness,

I am the knower or the seer and I am knowing the thought is arising and falling.

Feeling is arising and falling.

I am not creating it.

Which means I am not the thinker.

I am not the feeler.

I am just the knower of the sensation,

The knower of the feeling and the knower of the thought.

If this becomes very clear,

You will be able to be a witness very easily.

You have taken the position of the seer and this is the scene.

Now,

When a mohurti goes one more step ahead to tell you,

Oh this is still a stepping stone.

Being the witness,

Being the knower is still a stepping stone.

Being the seer is still a stepping stone.

He is calling this as the product of the mind,

A mental creation.

So we will read that again now.

It is the seer who says these come and go.

The seer and the seen together constitute the mind.

Both are the mind.

The witness who is witnessing the thought arise and fall.

Both are the mind.

The witness or the knower who sees the feeling arise and fall.

Both are the mind.

Seer and seen.

Both are the mind.

See if there is such a thing as the mind.

Now look for this mind.

Can I find the mind?

Let's see.

Can I find the mind?

Look to your self-inquiry and you will notice,

No,

When I keep looking,

Going beyond,

Going beyond,

I only reach this field of nothingness.

There is nothing there.

It disappears.

So see if there is such a thing as the mind.

Then the mind merges in the self and there is neither the seer nor the seen.

This is your stepping stone.

If you started recognising the seer and the seen and you stopped taking the blame of being the thinker or the feeler or the censor,

You stop that completely.

You just stay as the knower.

You have truly become the witness.

You've taken the witness position.

You've taken the position of being aware only.

Now you can progress to the next level where you will see the seer and seen both dissolve.

There is a state when there is just a field of nothingness.

So you will keep getting glimpses of the field of nothingness.

Where both the seer and seen collapse.

I'm looking for you to reach the state where it becomes permanent and continuous.

What did Maharishi say?

Permanent and continuous self-awareness is self-realisation.

We all will get glimpses because it is our nature.

Our only problem is we forget our true nature.

We assume ourselves to be the body or the mind and we get lost in the drama of the body mind.

Just disconnecting from the drama of the body mind and recognising,

No I am not that.

See I am not touched.

The thought arose of its own accord.

I have got nothing to do with this thought that arose.

So many times you say,

This is not my thought.

Yeah,

I would never think like this.

Doesn't it happen?

100% of us have experienced this.

This is not my thought and not that kind of person to think like this.

So start recognising truly every single thought is like that.

Thoughts are like floating in space.

Again,

Poetry,

Okay?

It does using poetry here.

Don't start imagining them floating.

Thoughts are as if floating in space.

Thoughts are collective.

Thoughts are not personal.

Thoughts are collective.

It's a particular thought I hold on to and I say my thought.

I take ownership of the thought.

Really the poor thought was just floating in space and this glimpse you get in your meditation where you learn to just relax from the thought,

Smile and just sink into the nothingness.

You recognise that thoughts are just floating on the surface level.

How many of us have recognised this in our meditation?

Now you have to start recognising this with your open eyes.

Meditation is of no use if it cannot percolate into your open-eyed daily routine.

Start recognising that thoughts are collective.

Mr.

Kedatama Haraj will speak about it but that's many chapters later.

I want to give it to you right at the beginning.

Start recognising thoughts are not personal.

I make it personal by seeing my thought.

I hold on to the thought.

Then I believe in what I have held on to and this belief becomes my conditioning.

Say I'm this kind of a person.

I just created a story.

Again,

I am repeating.

I'm just saying it for the effect of conveying the point as poetry.

It is like thoughts are floating in space and you are holding on to the thought and making it a personal thought.

There are no personal thoughts.

There are no personal feelings.

There are no personal sensations.

You are the dream character of this waking dream.

This dream character,

Can she say that the thought that just arose in me or I saw this thought arise,

Can she say it is my thought?

Is it really her thought?

This entire dream,

This entire dream world,

She takes responsibility.

She says,

Oh I was the one to instigate my friends to do this.

I was the one who is responsible.

I am the doer.

Is she the doer?

Is she the one who created the dream?

This dream character wrapped in this.

No!

This is where the dream has manifested from.

And she is taking the doership.

Are you saying what I am saying?

You are this dream character.

You have assumed doership.

There is some other source for the manifestation of this dream.

This is the source of the manifestation of this dream.

But this one who just experiences certain floating thoughts says my thoughts.

Holds on to the thoughts and believes I am the doer.

I am the thinker.

And then takes action and says,

See I am taking this action.

I am the doer.

Then there is a mistake that happens.

Then she blames herself.

See I was wrong.

And then she beats herself.

She is creating a story where there is none.

Doership is assumed.

So how do I get to this final understanding?

Not theoretically.

Does not telling you anything theoretically.

Start with step one.

What is step one?

Exactly what we did two minutes ago,

Five minutes ago.

Thoughts arise of their own accord.

I did not think this thought.

Recognize this.

Do not assume it.

Do not make it a mantra.

Do not fake belief it.

See it.

Not with these eyes but in our exploration.

See it inside.

Oh yeah!

This thought just arose of its own accord.

Next thought arose of its own accord.

Oh next thought arose of its own accord.

There is no thought that I am thinking.

That is step number one.

To finally understand how I am not the doer,

You have to start with where you start thinking that you are the doer.

And you start thinking at that first step where a thought arises and you say I was thinking see badly I am a bad person.

There you took the doership immediately.

Correct?

Similarly when a good thought arises you label yourself,

See I am a good person.

See I am so compassionate.

I had a compassionate thought.

That is where the mistake is happening.

So this is your homework for the next one month.

Go into silence.

This can only be done in silence not by listening to a zillion talks.

Ramana Maharishi insisted on morna,

Insisted on silence for this reason.

So you take up this.

Okay can I see really is thought mine?

Is it my thought?

Did I think this?

Then one full day experiment with thoughts.

Next day experiment with feelings.

But in fact if you have some day pain in the body then move towards sensations.

That is a good way.

Did I make this sensation arise?

Is it really my body?

Can I see a mind-ness?

Start with whatever the flow brings your way.

That will be your through.

And today's self exploration will be a little trigger to get you started for this.

Nothing is mine.

Nothing is created by me.

Nothing has been started by me.

In fact,

Whom me?

Can I find the me?

Find that I.

You will not be able to find an I.

You reach an empty nothingness.

Nobody is home.

Nobody is home.

So we will be done in silent.

Silent self-exploration.

And you will get this very simply very easily.

You will understand these words like that.

See if there is such a thing as the mind.

Then the mind merges in the self and there is neither the seer nor the seen.

So the real answer to your question is they neither come nor go.

Who?

The three states.

The three states neither come nor do they go.

The self alone remains as it ever is.

Weaves don't come and go really.

The ocean just is.

That is the nature of the ocean.

The ocean is.

Or you can just call it water.

Don't even give it the labels of ocean and wave.

The water is.

It's that simple.

The three states owe their existence to non-inquiry.

Means I call them three states.

I call them three separate states of waking,

Dreaming and deep sleep.

It's because I have not done self-inquiry.

So they owe their existence to non-inquiry.

And enquiry puts an end to them.

So this is the week of self-inquiry.

Homework for all of you.

Keep enquiring.

Waking state is nothing but thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations and perceptions.

Enquire into the thoughts.

Really is it my thought?

Am I generating this thought?

Am I the creator?

Am I the God of these thoughts?

But do they just arise on their own?

And this can only be done in silence.

You have to be in silence the whole week and just see.

Recognise what itta was saying.

Is it true?

Like it's a space in which thoughts are flowing.

You will not be able to see it with open eyes initially.

You have to keep your eyes closed and recognise,

Yeah it's an empty field of no-thing-ness,

Just awareness or presence in which thoughts are floating.

Thoughts are collective thoughts.

There is nothing like a personal thought.

I personalise it by saying my thought,

My feeling.

We leave sensation and perception for later.

It's a little hard to get there.

At least start with the easy ones.

The thought and the feeling.

Let's do these two self-explorations.

By the end of this week,

You write to me.

Are thoughts your personal thoughts?

Are feelings your personal feelings?

Even if you have a very traumatic feeling,

Is it personal?

So enquiry puts an end to them.

That is the only way.

Self-enquiry.

Antar Vichara.

So the process you will be doing,

It is called Antar Vichara.

However much one may explain,

The fact will not become clear till one attains self-realisation and wonders how one was blind to the self-evident and only existence so long.

However much I will explain,

It just doesn't become clear.

Because it is beyond the point,

Indescribable.

It is something that will be born by your own self-exploration.

So I insist that this week you enquire,

Do your self-enquiry on this basic thing.

Am I generating thoughts?

Did I generate this thought?

This thought that came up and went right.

Did I generate it?

This feeling that is there,

Whatever the feeling is.

Whether it is jealousy or passion.

Whether it is lust or it is hatred.

Whether it is love and compassion or it is complete resistance and aversion.

Did I create this feeling?

You must do it by self-enquiry only.

How much ever I explain,

You will not get it by words.

How much ever somebody else explains,

You will not get it by words.

It will not become clear till one attains self-realisation and wonders how one was blind.

And when you attain it,

You are like,

Oh!

All my life I have been blind to this truth.

It is right in my face.

It is like the eyes are so clear.

Now put your fingers above and below the eyelid.

Can you see your own fingers?

You can't see,

No?

It is so close.

When something comes so close,

You cannot see it.

It is so close.

The truth is so close.

The self is so close.

You will be like,

What?

I could not see this all my life?

And I kept saying,

Oh this thought is mine.

This feeling is mine.

This sensation is mine.

I kept doing all this drama.

This action is mine.

I kept taking doership.

It is so straight forward.

Thoughts are floating in this space.

Nothing is personal.

It is collective.

That is why two people sitting in the same room sometimes have the same thought.

You say,

Oh!

I was just thinking exactly what you just said.

How does that happen?

Thoughts are collective.

See it.

Wake up and see.

They are not personal.

They are not personal.

Life has given us hints.

Again and again and again I have got hints and glimpses.

It is never so interested in myself.

I was always interested in the outside world.

So now become interested in yourself and do this enquiry.

Because how much ever I explain,

It is not easy for you to get it unless you do your own self exploration and you realise it by yourself.

Yes?

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