Denying Denial - Weekly Energy Boost

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon.

David loves the show so much,

He watches it while it's going live.

I can't wait.

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I am here this lovely Monday morning with two of my favorite people to be here with.

David is back in the studio,

And we have dragged into the studio with us.

No,

He comes very willingly,

Daniel Naur.

Daniel,

Welcome back.

Thank you.

It's been a while.

It's been a while.

And we're here this lovely Monday morning to share with you the most practical and powerful tools to help you navigate the coming seven days.

That's what the Weekly Energy Boost is all about.

And this week,

We are focusing on not only the weekly energy,

But also,

I think,

A very monthly energy-ish issue.

Of course,

The energies are going to mesh,

They're going to combine,

And the Kabbalists teach that on one hand,

When the astrological month begins,

We all become a little bit like that sign.

We can adopt their positive qualities,

And we need to look out for their negative qualities.

And one of the less amazing qualities of us Pisces,

David,

Daniel,

And I,

All three of us are Pisces,

Although we hide in the month of Aquarius when we can,

Is denial.

It's experiencing a reality that we don't like,

And either pretending it's not happening,

It's not there,

Being busy with something else,

Avoiding the situation,

Hoping it will go away on its own.

And this week,

We want to help our listeners,

And ourselves,

Of course,

Focus on the most,

First of all,

The awakening of what is the issue.

Why is it such a problem to be in denial?

Who cares?

It's not bothering anybody but me,

Or it's not affecting anybody but me,

I'm drilling the hole in my own boat.

And what are some of the things that we can do to get out of denial,

To get out of that avoidance?

I think for many people,

Like,

Oh,

I don't have denial issues.

You might not look at it as denial,

But no question,

All of us have avoidance issues.

Those are the people that usually are in denial.

I don't have any denial issues.

Yeah,

So we want to make sure that we go into the coming week armed and dangerous.

No,

Armed and ready for all of the opportunities,

Because I don't know,

Maybe that's my issue already.

Yesterday and today,

I've been dealing with different issues that I would definitely like to sweep under the rug,

And maybe let them work themselves out.

But the reason they're in my court is because I'm the one who can be part of the solution.

And maybe that's the best place to start,

Is that the situations that come to me in my movie,

We teach in our classes over and over and over again,

Because the ego part of us wants us to forget it,

Is that if it's happening in my movie,

It's there to get me to a better place.

My life,

My tikkun,

As we call it,

Is a perfect plan for my own soul's transformation.

And if I'm not facing the music,

I'm avoiding that transformation.

Can we make this a little less heady?

What do we mean by denial?

It sounds like a nice concept,

But let's bring it down to earth so people can connect to it.

What do you mean by that?

I believe I said it a few minutes ago,

But I will repeat it again.

You were texting on your phone.

Let's repeat it for those of you who were texting while I was talking before.

I mean more like examples.

Give me examples of how people are in denial.

Okay.

Everybody knows,

Or I use these examples all the time with kids.

I think parents,

It's very easy for us when things are challenging with our kids to go into denial mode.

It's not that big of a deal.

It's not that bad.

It's not a big problem.

At least he's not hurting anybody.

We go to this sort of,

It's not my problem attitude.

Or it's not that big of a deal.

I think that maybe this will speak to you more,

David.

Is that even when we recognize,

Let's say for example,

Somebody calls you out on being selfish or says you're arrogant or you're self-serve,

Whatever it is.

You look at it and you say,

Maybe they're right,

But it's not that big of a deal.

There's worse things I could be.

The Kabbalists talk about the danger of being in that it's not that big of a deal place because in as much as we can recognize,

Not that it's the end of the world and we need to do something drastic,

But that if we don't recognize the darkness for what it is,

We can't transform it.

Can we talk about,

Because I like to go straight to the root cause places,

Right?

I think one of the important things to notice about denial is an avoidance,

Right?

A certain running away from something.

And when we ask,

Okay,

So what are we avoiding and what are we running away from?

And can be small,

Can be big examples,

But it will be always,

If you think about it,

It will be always associated with some type of pain,

Something that is painful,

Big or small,

But too painful for me to face right now.

So it could be something that I need to deal with.

Oh,

If my child has this and this and that issue,

Now I need to go and I need to deal with it.

It's too painful,

Right?

Someone is accusing me of something.

I'm being selfish or I'm being lazy.

Even though deep inside I may know that there's some truth to it,

But it's too painful to face right now.

So my blockage,

My coping mechanism will be denial.

No,

It's not true.

No,

It's not.

It can't be all.

It's not that bad.

Like all kinds of excuses.

They're projecting their issues onto me.

It's not my issue.

It's them projecting.

I love that one.

I think you're projecting.

Well,

I,

When Daniel said,

Let's get to the root of the issue,

I wrote some notes here and I think my go-to around this kind of a topic is this quote that the Kabbalists give,

What you desire is where you're led.

So it all goes down to do people who listen to us,

Not even now,

Including ourselves,

Do we want,

Do we want to not be in denial?

I mean,

Are we motivated?

Are we inspired not to be?

So any problem in our lives or any negative behavior comes down to how motivated are you?

Do you want to be able to solve the issue?

Because we can throw wisdom at it and all these different tricks,

But if a person hasn't clarified their innate desire to want to achieve something,

The actual quote is that what you desire is where they will lead you.

And so the sages say,

What is they?

Why does it say they will lead you?

And they write that they represents the angelic forces you create by your intention.

So when I have an intention or I have a desire for something,

So let's say for example,

I all of a sudden say I desire this coffee.

I see he's got his coffee there and I'm not drinking coffee and I say,

You know what?

I see it.

So I want coffee.

Now my desire is to find me coffee.

So it says that because I have this desire,

I create forces,

Energetic forces that we call angels that go out like a spiritual postmates and go and find us coffee.

So all of a sudden we're led to thoughts and inspiration.

People come to us and someone might even offer you something or you'll see something,

Right?

Have you ever wanted to go buy a specific type of car?

And then you see that car everywhere you go,

Because now that you desire to buy that brand of car or maybe even that color,

You see that brand and that color everywhere because the angels show it to you,

Bring it into your vision.

So to your point,

Right?

Why does a person desire unconsciously most of the time to be in denial is because it feels good for that moment.

So I think to your point,

Because it's so very true,

We're being led in the ways that we desire to be led.

So what is the benefit of getting out of denial?

And what is the cost in being in denial?

What is the cost?

Because we haven't really made that case.

What is the cost of not being present with my issues and avoiding them?

There's a huge cost.

Number one,

It can eventually can affect also health because I think,

You know,

I feel like we live in a society where we're in constant denial actually,

Because what do I do when I go check my phone when I know there's nothing going on,

Right?

What do I do?

I go check my phone,

Check my text,

Check my social media,

Check this,

Check that.

It's like every time I go check something unnecessarily on my phone,

I'm choosing not to give something energy,

Right?

That needs energy right now.

Maybe a relationship,

Maybe with my kids,

Maybe whatever that might be.

But I'm actually in denial of something every time I go to my phone when I don't need to.

So we're constantly distracted.

We're constantly you know,

One of the things that I come across a lot with one-on-one work with people is that people are in denial of their own emotions.

And I think this is one of the greatest dangers actually that we're in denial of our emotional state.

A lot of people when you ask them,

You go a little bit deeper and you ask them,

How does that make you feel?

How do you feel with this?

And like,

It's just bad.

You know,

They don't know how to answer.

It's just good or bad.

Can you give us an example?

Because it sounds like you recently had,

You do sessions daily with people.

So you're hearing it daily.

What?

Because I want people to,

Oh,

You know what?

I relate to that.

Do you have one?

Do you have one?

Where you told them,

How do you feel about a certain situation?

And they responded in a vague emotional way.

Yeah,

I had a session with someone and we started off with what's going on.

I'm just upset with what's going on in the world.

I'm just upset.

But you could sense the underlying tone of something like a deeper anger,

Something completely different.

But like,

They didn't relate it to their issue,

Their anger that was related to their father and like deeper things in great.

It was all external.

I'm upset at the COVID hoax,

Right?

I'm upset at this.

I'm excited.

I'm upset at it.

So digging deeper,

You realize like this person was in complete denial about what they're actually upset about.

And it became an external effect of sadness.

I mean,

In the car,

I asked,

How are you doing?

And she's like,

She didn't give us an answer.

So there was kind of like,

Well,

We have a question from a listener,

Which I think can help Elisheva with her,

In the morning.

I usually get an M,

But this M had a little more spice to it.

Well,

It's a Pisces in the month of Pisces.

What is the difference between avoidance and trying to stay positive toward a negative situation that you cannot currently change?

Let's go to the question.

Say it again,

Avoidance and?

Avoidance.

Or what's the difference between avoidance and a positive attitude toward a negative situation that you cannot currently change?

So meaning I'm looking at whatever's going on,

I'm going,

La la la,

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be fine,

Daniel.

And I believe I have certainty it's gonna be fine.

Is that denial?

It can be.

It can be right.

Because it's not always about,

Yeah,

Just positive thing.

That can be like a spiritual labeling slogan,

Right?

Like,

Yeah,

I'm just thinking positive chakka I can do it right.

Like certainty,

Certainty.

But no,

Sometimes I think we need to actually pause and say,

No,

It's bad.

You know,

This is difficult.

This is a challenge.

It's painful.

And I think sometimes denial is a cover up for allowing ourselves to feel,

Period.

Allowing ourselves to feel.

That's what I said that with distractions and social media,

People are out of touch with their emotions,

Right?

So to pause,

To actually allow myself to feel the melancholy,

To feel the pain,

To feel the frustration.

First that.

And I think when we pass that hurdle of that,

Then I'm like,

What am I actually feeling right now?

And okay,

This is what's going on right now.

That is my starting point.

But when there's cover up and cover up and cover up,

We actually,

The messages will start to need to get louder and louder and louder and louder.

That's why sometimes denial,

You know,

If we choose not to feel something,

Sometimes our body chooses for us.

I love that.

What do you mean when you say that?

One second.

Our body chooses for us.

It sounded like,

I love that.

Let me tell you about it.

No,

Cause with Daniel,

Daniel's talking and I have,

And I get inspired to add to it.

So I'm just giving you a,

We got to go back to that.

Well,

No,

Well,

Let's finish it.

Let's finish it.

Go deeper with that.

So what did,

What does it mean that if I'm not conscious of what I'm feeling and I'm not choosing to feel my body chooses for me,

It means whatever shows up in our body as sickness disease,

Because it's a symptom of something.

And sometimes it needs to come out to express itself.

So I will become aware of actually what's going on inside.

Like the signal needs to become louder,

Visible and stronger,

But actually,

And that's the one of the cost of denial.

I believe we're talking about the cost of denial and what do I want to not have been denial,

Get out of it.

Cause one of the costs is can be God forbid,

Like a symptom that shows up in a body.

Well,

We actually have a formula for this.

There's a tried and true formula,

Which is we in Kabbalah one,

We talked about it.

We ask people to pause first because the pause is to avoid the denial.

When,

When we don't pause,

We immediately gravitate towards instant gratification.

And so we numb ourselves.

So we're asking for the pause and then,

You know,

There's a couple of steps before you even do something about it before you even choose to be positive about it.

What we're recently releasing is pause,

Talk to the creator,

Feel,

The situation,

Observe the opponent.

And then there's all these steps in between.

It's about feeling the process.

So I wanted to reiterate that there is a structure to this,

Which is,

Which is pausing and asking the light for help and really feeling the pain of the situation and not reacting to the pain.

Cause every time you make a decision from pain or lack,

It ends up bad.

The other thing I was going to say just practically is how important free time is.

And often I tell people if it's something,

If it's coaching that's around business or even employees,

It's,

I'm,

I'm personally very adamant because I think it's a spiritual concept that we're learning in Kabbalah.

How much of your time you're dedicated to just free time.

And,

And,

And for me it's maybe driving with no meetings or walking every day for an hour or two hours.

Well,

We're not busy.

If you find that your schedule is packed and you're busy,

Most likely you're in denial.

Busyness equals denial.

Can we say that?

Ouch.

Yeah.

So busyness equals denial.

If you look at your calendar,

Busyness equals denial.

And I always tell,

I tell employees that I want at least depending on your position,

It's 20 to 40% of your time is free to be creative.

Otherwise,

The,

The,

All the bad culture,

The burnout,

The lack of creativity,

Lack of innovation,

Problems with our own health comes from when my day is full and I have no time to allow a new energy to enter.

And I think something else that's powerful,

We obviously observe the Sabbath energy and people around the world do it differently.

Everybody does it differently,

But even science is acknowledging it.

I know that when for 25 hours I'm disconnecting from electronics,

I'm having like hallucinations.

Like there's things happening to me.

My wife is like,

I don't know what I'm going to get for those 25 hours because literally I'm unplugged from constant stimulation.

And I've learned this even about myself.

If I don't focus and choose who I want to be during those 25 hours,

All of a sudden you could,

You could totally spin out of control.

It's happened to me where I'll just wake up and I remember just one years ago,

This just happened.

I'd just be so sad and like,

Wait,

Why am I so sad?

And then as soon as I got my phone back Saturday night,

I was like,

I'm in a great mood now.

So it was at least to be mature enough to realize,

Wait a minute,

There is,

There's something happening here and you don't really know it until you take it away.

Take it away.

So I think free time is important.

If you really want to stretch that free time to 25 hours at the very minimum a week,

If there's a healthy cleansing that happens.

Can we talk for one second about being in denial when something is wrong?

I mean,

I use the example before about kids,

Right?

That if kids are having trouble at school,

It's very hard often to face that something might be wrong.

Or let's say,

David,

You call somebody an employee out on something they can do better and they're sitting there going,

You know,

No big deal,

Not that big of a deal.

Why do you think,

I hear what Daniel's saying about the pain,

But I do think that there is a certain part of us that says,

I need to be perfect or I need,

You know,

If I admit something is wrong,

It means that I'm flawed or I'm weak or it's almost like this,

The ego steps in and can't handle the failure or what it says about me.

I think that that's a lot of what it is for parents is that their identity is so wrapped up in their kids' success or achievement that any of their shortcomings feels like their shortcomings and it's just very difficult to swallow it.

I think that especially because a lot of our listeners are not necessarily steeped in this wisdom that we're sharing every week,

What can we say about that force that wants us to look perfect,

That wants us to be strong and made of steel?

Yeah,

That's a good one,

Right?

I mean,

We say it takes a very strong person to admit that they're weak,

Right?

But the truth is,

I think in the spin that Kabbalah puts on it,

If you can't identify the situation,

You can't fix it.

Yeah,

It goes all the way back to this million dollar dilemma,

Million dollar question between like,

In Kabbalah we learn that the more I see my flaws,

The more I see my shortcomings,

There's this interesting duality,

The more spiritual I am,

The more connected I am.

And this is a paradox,

It's hard for us to wrap our brains around it.

How am I more connected if I admit more,

Right?

And this is actually something,

A tool that I think can help us get out of denial about our own flaws,

So to speak,

To celebrate that,

To celebrate that.

Meaning when I see something that is not working for me,

Something that is flawed within me,

To say,

I'm going to celebrate this because the fact that I even see it means the Creator trusts me that I can change that.

Because why am I seeing it to begin with,

Right?

All of our issues are there since the time we were born,

Right?

But the awareness is lacking,

Right?

Sometimes I am aware of it,

Sometimes I'm not.

So the fact that I'm aware of it now doesn't mean that it didn't exist before,

It was there all the time,

Right?

So the fact that I'm becoming aware of it now means that I'm spiritually elevating and the Creator is giving me the tools and the capacity to deal with it now.

So I want to celebrate this moment,

Right?

And the second mistake I think that we all make,

That we all make,

Is that we think we should be perfect,

Right?

It should be perfect.

What did you all make?

Whoa.

David.

That was you.

David's such a big fan of the show,

He's watching.

I wanted to hear that again,

It was so good.

I went back to the recording.

To say that doesn't make me less,

Right?

And I think that's another fear of overcoming the denial or not being in denial to face it is that it will make me less.

If I'll admit this,

That there's actually something that I need to correct,

There's actually something that I need to work on,

It makes me feel less.

And then there's all the compensation on the external level,

The compensation of I need to make up for it,

I need to achieve more,

I need to accomplish more,

I need to,

I need to,

I need to,

I need to.

And it's all creating these layers and these walls around actually my lack of self-worth,

Right?

And sometimes all these walls need to be forced to be taken down by external circumstances,

By life events.

And when they come down and then the person is forced to deal with what they didn't want to deal with to begin with,

Which is so oftentimes the lack of self-worth and not feeling good enough.

Also practically something that I found myself doing twice in one week is we were at a lunch,

It was a lunch on Saturday,

But also the Sunday before in my teens class.

Let me start with the teens class.

Teens class I asked 15 teens to bring their moms that class.

So it was 15 teens,

13,

14 years old,

And then the moms were there too.

And it was powerful,

It went back and forth,

But I asked each of the teens to share what do they think their mom could do better or is not doing,

It's preventing them from connecting to the light of the creator.

Now mind you,

The tension was palpable to say the least,

But each child,

And it was so profound what they said,

I mean one by one said,

Mom,

Because you beat yourself up I beat myself up.

It was crystal clear,

It wasn't like how we become verbose and just give these long diatribes.

They were just like,

Mom,

You try to be perfect,

But you don't need to be.

And you're causing me to have anxiety,

Stuff like that.

And you could see some moms were crying,

But it was so powerful,

Because it was almost,

And then the moms got to explain why they do what they do,

Right?

Why they overcare for the children,

Why now they're so afraid of losing the child at this age,

And it's back in a vulnerable age,

And it was powerful for the kids to hear it.

And then this lunch,

We were sitting around a table with a bunch of parents and some younger kids were there,

Like nine,

Nine,

10,

11,

And I asked them to say,

What do you think your parents could do better?

You're not getting invited to my house,

David.

No lunches for you at our house.

So powerful,

One girl just looked at her mom and said,

Mom,

I got to figure out,

She's probably listening now anyways,

But I forgot what it was,

Just so powerful,

It was just like five words,

And it was like,

I felt the burn.

And it was just powerful,

It was positive,

And the kids see everything,

Kids see everything,

And they're also channels of this amazing energy.

So David is basically saying,

If you want to know what you need to work on,

Ask your kids?

Yes,

Yes,

And just to have a dialogue and a conversation with them.

Remember,

I told you,

I told you when I talked,

My son's smaller,

So he's not going to have a great conversation with me,

But when I asked him what he wants to be when he grows up,

Because he was playing with those figurines,

He was an astronaut,

And my intention was,

I want my child to be very successful,

And I said,

What do you want to be when you grow up?

And he's like,

I just want to be Ethan,

Why are you asking me what I want to be,

I want to be me.

And I was just like,

Okay,

I get it.

But that was more like God talking through him,

I don't think he was really conscious of what he was saying.

But I think it is powerful,

And you have kids older than me,

So I'm kind of speaking more theoretically and from outside examples,

I don't like to double down on things I haven't personally gone through,

But have you ever,

Have you ever,

You've had these conversations with your children.

So I think we've spoken about it before,

One of the things that we've talked about is a great tool for engaging your kids in spiritual conversations is to bring them into your process.

So for example,

I've shared infinite times that I need to be,

I don't need to be,

I get to be.

I get,

The thing I like to work on the most,

Which is tongue in cheek,

I love working on patience,

Being more patient.

So I bring- I think you do a good job,

I see you,

You're very patient.

Well,

You see me,

Have you ever seen me after 8.

30 PM?

I see you early,

8 AM.

Okay,

So I've already been up like six hours.

So for example,

When I lose my cool,

Which never happens,

But theoretically when it does happen,

I tell my kids that,

You know,

I,

That was a really,

I could have done that differently.

And if you ever,

You know,

The next time you see me getting worked up like that,

Put your hand on me,

Put,

You know,

Touch me and tell me it's going to be okay,

Or we'll figure it out.

Like help me return and remember the per- return to and remember the person that I usually am.

And I,

That's a bad example.

There's other ones.

It's like- I have a question here if it's okay.

Yeah,

Sure.

Where do you draw the line?

Because I think there's an importance for parents to be the parents and the children to be the children,

Right?

So,

Because I see sometimes in dynamics and with parents,

With their children,

Where they,

You know,

The parents- It can become disrespectful.

Yeah.

And the parents become their child's,

You know,

Dude and friend.

No,

We're not on a dude basis.

I know that you're not.

I know that you're not.

But I'm saying,

How do you keep the balance and where do you draw the line?

So this is the,

A lot of it is in what's called,

I think in child psychology,

The moment of repair,

Right?

It's not what you're really doing in that moment is you're debriefing.

What happened there?

We were having a great day,

But then this happened and then this happened and then this happened and I let it get to me.

And I don't want to do that again.

And I'm trying,

I'm working on it and I'm trying to be more mindful about it,

But I know that it's really hard for me when I have everybody jumping on top of me and telling me this and that.

That's one of the moments that it's really hard for me to be my best self.

When is it hard for you to be your best self?

So it's not,

I'm weak,

Help me,

I'm helpless.

You're dissecting a moment with your children so that they will know when they're in that moment or they're approaching that moment,

What's the best way to deescalate for them.

Or I think it is helpful,

Especially if bringing,

Especially if you want to bring that culture in your house of working on yourself,

That we're not here to be perfect,

We're here to be better,

Is if you bounce it back to the kids.

So for example,

I saw you had a really hard time before.

Next time I see you getting to that point,

Is there something I can tell you to remind you or to help bring you back to being willing to share your toys or maybe you need a snack when you come home from school.

To help them have that objective perspective on what's going on because usually by the time we're upset with them or we're upset or whatever,

They're taking it personally,

They're worried they did something wrong and it becomes this whole imperfect,

Overcompensating,

You start to build this unhealthy culture.

And by the way,

That can be applied probably also not just to for listeners that say don't have children in the household.

That can be applied to business,

That can be applied to any leadership position because it says that relationship between a parent and a child is similar between a teacher and a student.

And we're all teachers in one way or another.

So having this dialogue and this question and engaging in a conversation can be very,

Very practical and valuable.

You also have,

I think,

Not only with children,

But also adults,

A tendency to try and hide when things are not okay.

We're going back to this denial thing.

We don't talk about Bruno.

We don't talk about Bruno.

It's a perfect one.

Everybody needs to Google that right now if you don't know what we're talking about.

But it's not just that.

It's like,

I don't know,

I'll find a candy wrapper in the closet.

Okay.

Who was eating Halloween candy in the closet in my house?

Right?

I can run a DNA test.

I can ask,

Someone left a wrapper,

Twix wrapper in the closet.

Whose was it?

Nobody's going to answer it.

Nobody's going to own up to their chocolate weakness.

But the idea is that in that moment that I catch it,

And I'm saying you can catch,

I don't know,

David at work or you,

In any scenario that you have,

You catch somebody,

How you catch them really says a lot about how you feel about flaws and failures.

For example,

I can take a piece of candy and I can say,

Next time you open a Twix,

Can you share it with me?

Meaning that then they realize it's not something they should be hiding.

If they want it,

They should just ask for it.

I might say no.

I might say later,

But the whole idea of hiding things and taking that out of the culture,

Not only in your home,

But also in your office,

Right?

If you have somebody that works for you that's escaping,

Leaving,

Quitting early,

You know what I mean?

Wouldn't you rather they say to you,

David,

I'm having a rough time right now.

I need a break.

Or do you want them sneaking their breaks and hiding and calling their friends and venting during work and shopping while they should be working?

The whole idea is to create this culture of openness.

To Daniel's question,

I don't think that that makes you your kid's friend.

That just creates a space where we can talk about anything.

There's nothing to hide.

Nothing is off limits.

It's better,

I think it's actually,

Now I'm thinking about it,

I hear the lecture in my ear.

It's better to do something wrong with everybody than to do something right alone.

I like that.

Alright,

So I want to,

A lot of powerful concepts,

I want to just,

Each of us summarize real quick,

Because we're wrapping up right now.

We're wrapping up,

We're wrapping up,

We've got to wrap up.

So much powerful content,

We don't want to oversaturate our audience.

I always say that.

David does,

Daniel and I are okay with that.

Well,

Because people then just start to dilute all the content and nothing sticks,

Right?

So,

Number one,

We've talked about a couple things.

First,

I think I mentioned about your desire is where you will be led.

Your intention creates angelic forces that support you.

So if your intention is to hurt someone,

You actually have created angelic forces that will help you hurt someone.

That's why we often say things we shouldn't say and wish we never said.

We have anxieties and energies that guide us places,

Almost like an addiction,

Because we have that intention.

We have these competing desires inside of us.

That's one thing we talked about.

We talked about denial.

Ain't just a river in Egypt.

Yep,

It's not a river in Egypt.

You talked about,

You know what,

Something in my mind.

You tell me,

What was the second thing?

Because we went,

There's so many beautiful concepts that came up in summary.

What was it?

You guys were just talking about- Daniel talked about denial as a mechanism to avoid pain.

That's right.

That's right.

And then we talked about how we have the proactive formula,

Which is pause and to feel the pain.

Very important to feel the pain.

Embrace it rather than run from it because when you run from it,

You compound it.

You compound it and it has to come back because pain is an intelligence.

And if you don't,

Daniel said,

It might show up in the,

It will show up in the body if you leave it alone.

That's a Kabbalah 2 concept actually that there's four levels of pain that eventually shows up in the body because a person can't run away from it.

There's a whole story about Job.

We're not going to get into it,

But he got hit with every kind of pain,

But he didn't break him until the physical pain broke him.

And sometimes we need to allow ourselves to break because that's how the new version of us becomes born.

And then you guys were talking about something else here where it was about the parent-child dynamic.

And you framed it as it's more about how I got it was the intention of how you're approaching it.

And you want to add to that?

No,

Again,

I think it's a conversation that's how to remove denial before it begins is to create that culture of openness.

Everything,

There's trust,

You're safe.

We can talk about anything.

And then the compulsion to hide or to pretend,

Like you were saying with your teens group,

It's less about children and more about creating that in your office,

Your cubicle,

Your community,

Your home,

Wherever you are.

You want people to be able to say,

I did this and I shouldn't have,

Or whatever,

Rather than pretending it's not happening.

Then like Daniel said,

Overcompensating.

You asked about business.

It's a great book.

It's called No Rules,

Rules.

It's the creation of the Netflix culture by Reed Hastings.

And one whole chapter is just about radical candor,

But exactly how they do it.

Because I think how you translate what you said to the workplace,

They call it radical candor,

But you can't just say whatever you want.

That's also a problem.

So there's steps that actually follows closely the Kabbalistic Proactive Formula.

Very inspiring book,

No Rules,

Rules,

From the employee workplace culture aspect of what we're talking about.

Any final words,

Daniel?

Well,

I would like to add actually one last component.

There's a lot to talk about this,

But just throwing it out there as a- So much to unpack.

I mean,

People need to come to your classes if they want to hear more.

No,

Because it came to our mind,

Actually funny when we talk about,

We don't talk about Bruno,

All the family dynamics.

When denial comes to family dynamics and the implementations it has on our lives,

Just throwing it out there,

It's a deeper concept,

But think about it.

Sometimes,

And it is proven that it's seen many times,

Sometimes there's a denial in the family,

In the family history,

Something that,

Oh,

Family secrets,

Right?

Family secrets.

And so many times when there's something in the family that people are ashamed of or a certain secret or someone married with someone that wasn't approved or someone died early or someone,

Like a certain shame in the family.

And that can be like two or three generations ago.

When that family secret,

When everyone is in denial about it,

Nobody talks about it.

The interesting thing is,

And the danger of it is,

That it will show up as a symptom in later generations.

That someone that committed suicide,

Was mentally ill,

Committed suicide,

An uncle of the grandfather,

That symptoms of that will show up because it's a deeper concept,

But the family feel they're all connected and things are passed on in generations.

So there will be a great,

Great grandchild that will have similar symptoms or similar behavior so that the family will acknowledge and see what has happened so the family will wake up and won't be in denial of it.

And we'll see you next week on the Weekly Energy Boost.

You you you you you you