Short Talk: How To Make Your Wishes Come True

So there are two components of your wishes coming true.

There are only two.

One,

Knowing exactly what those wishes are.

You truly have to know and be really honest with yourself.

And the second is energy.

Cultivating a large reservoir of energy to build the life you want,

To make your wishes come true.

Energy is like the bricks to make it happen.

There are many ways we lose energy without even realizing it.

And the way we lose energy is actually a question of our mental state.

Yes,

It has to do with the physical,

Like exercise and getting enough sleep and eating healthy food.

You already know that,

So I'm not gonna tell you that.

What I'm gonna tell you is a part we don't talk about.

What are the mental states that take energy away in megatons?

So remember,

Every time we judge,

We give our energy to the thing we judge.

Because everything we judge,

Our attention is there,

Therefore our energy is there.

Everything we fight,

We give our energy to.

Because if you're fighting,

If you're resisting,

You're putting your energy there.

So even if you win,

You won,

But you gave such a large block of energy there that you don't know what wishes didn't come true had you not fought that battle.

So everything we fight,

We give our energy to because that's where our attention is.

Everything we work very hard to avoid,

If you're very avoidant,

We give our energy there.

My favorite definition of mindfulness is that mindfulness is avoiding avoiding.

Everyone we blame,

We actually give our energy there.

So if you're blaming your parents,

If you're blaming your ex-romantic partners,

If you're blaming yourself,

You are losing energy.

And everything we're afraid of,

We also give our energy to.

What we deny,

What we don't allow,

What we resist,

That's where our attention is,

And therefore that is where our energy is.

We wanna gather that.

And anything that contains force,

Anything where you really have to force yourself,

Anytime you really have to force yourself to do something,

That is a lot of energy that you could be using in much better ways.

So anything you tell yourself you should do,

If you have a long list of should dos that you don't really wanna be doing,

But the list is there,

That is not what you actually wish for.

All the shoulds are taking your energy.

The should,

If you have a very long list of shoulds that you don't even wanna touch,

That you don't even wanna think about,

But it's there,

It's a forcefulness,

It's a force.

So why does this work in this way?

Let me share the theology behind this concept.

In the Buddhist view,

You are meant to live out a certain course in this life because you are meant to learn certain lessons.

So that's why certain things just light you up.

That's why certain things,

You're on fire.

And certain things don't.

You are drawn to certain people,

But not to others.

You're drawn to certain places,

To certain forms of art,

To certain activity,

But you're truly indifferent inside to others,

Even if objectively,

The others are nice too.

That's because life wants you to experience the things you're drawn to.

And because life,

Or in Mahayana Buddhism,

We call this the compassionate universe,

Wants you to experience certain things.

So it gives you energy for those people.

It gives you energy for those activities.

It gives you energy for those tasks.

You feel inspired when you're around them.

You feel inspired when you're doing them.

The things you are drawn to are the necessary things where your lessons are,

Because they're the ones that help you grow in certain ways,

Or that help open your heart,

Or that help you feel connected to the universe,

Connected to yourself,

Connected to your strength,

Connected to your intuition.

Certain things connect you,

Certain things disconnect you.

When you're just watching your breath,

Relaxing your shoulders,

That energy flows to you.

And as that energy flows to you,

You feel better,

But you also kind of connect to your rhythm.

Your breathing pattern,

That's your rhythm.

As you connect to yourself,

It becomes a lot more obvious that this activity is important to me,

And this other one,

Not so much.

Or spending time with this person,

I really wanna get to know this person,

That's important to me.

And this other activity,

It might be lucrative,

And it might be popular,

And it might be well-regarded.

It might be in,

It might be really praised in society to do this,

But it's just in my heart,

It's not important to me,

So I'm not gonna participate in it.

Those are the insights you have when you connect to yourself in a meditation.

You get into your own rhythm,

So you can say,

That's mine,

That's not mine.

And that is so important.

Like for me,

A pine forest.

A pine forest is me,

It's mine,

It resonates.

A sequoia forest,

Like Yosemite.

Yosemite is nice,

But it's not me.

A lake is me.

Mountains,

Heights,

Not me.

Although heights in like a New York City building with a good view,

That's me.

Heights on a mountain,

That's not me.

Remember that you're here to kind of pick out those things that are most you.

And everything you pay attention to,

You give energy to.

And the things that are your things,

You give energy there,

But you get the energy back.

From a pine forest,

I'll get the energy back.

So there's a back and forth with the things you love,

With the things that inspire you,

With the things that are truly your wishes.

You give energy and you get energy.

You might want like a chai latte on a certain morning and you'll drink that chai latte and you'll taste it and you'll get so much energy because it was exactly what you wanted that morning.

So a pine forest will give me a lot more energy and inspiration than that forest of sequoias,

Which objectively is just as beautiful.

Who do you really wanna be spending time with?

What do you really wanna be doing?

How do you wanna spend your time?

Who do you really admire?

What do you wanna move toward?

What direction do you really wanna be moving in?

It's a question of self-awareness and it's also a question of self-compassion.

Everything that you have to force yourself to do,

Everything that is foreign to you,

It disproportionately takes away your energy.

It kind of nullifies your energy.

So if you have energy,

Like the bricks that make your wishes come true,

You're just giving away those bricks for no good reason.

And this isn't some like abstract spiritual thing.

What I'm really talking about are the laws of physics.

So waves,

As you know,

Are a form of energy.

Waves transport energy.

Like a wave in the ocean,

It's transporting a lot of energy.

If one wave is like this and another wave is also like this,

If it follows the same pattern,

Like a person who is your person,

A forest that's just your forest,

Something that you wish for,

When the two wavelengths align and then they combine,

Like me and the pine forest,

Me with that person,

The energy of the wave,

It doesn't double,

It quadruples.

So you might think,

Oh,

Like they match and the energy stays the same.

No,

They match and the energy doubles.

No,

They match and the energy triples.

No,

It's four times a bigger wave.

The wave becomes four times bigger.

In physics,

That's called constructive interference.

You want as much constructive interference in your life as possible because that's how you have endless energy to do everything you wanna do every single day.

So that's why you pursue things that resonate.

If two waves are in different wavelengths and they meet,

Like that's the person you don't really wanna spend time with,

But they're kind of nice and they're kind of smart,

But you just don't wanna spend time with them.

It's a place you don't really wanna be.

It's a job you don't wanna do.

This is when you're forcing yourself and you're using the intellectual mind,

Which actually has a lot less information than your intuition.

So you don't wanna be there.

Or this is the worst,

You're with a romantic partner you don't love or you're doing things daily you're not even interested in doing.

That's like different wavelengths.

The waves don't align.

And when these two waves meet in physics,

They nullify each other.

So the result is no energy at all.

It's zero energy.

So the more things in your life feel like they're fake or forced or foreign to you,

The less energy you have.

You can nullify all your energy and make it zero just based on things that don't resonate at all.

The more you do things that are your wishes,

That are your calling,

The more energy you have to work with.

So really pay attention to what resonates inside.

Meditate,

Because when you're meditating,

You are in your own energy and your own energy is healing to you because the wave just goes up.

It's more positivity.

By making your own wishes come true,

By listening to yourself and making your wishes come true,

You are creating healing experiences for yourself.

And the journey towards self-compassion is realizing that you are valuable enough to do that.

So energy,

Willpower,

Wishes,

Intentions are all connected.

Where your real desires are,

That's where the spark is.

That's where the prana is.

That's where the energy is,

The motivation.

Where your real desires are,

That's also where your willpower is.

So your affirmation is,

I make my wishes come true.

I'm here to make my wishes come true.

In the little things,

I make my wishes come true.

In the big things,

I make my wishes come true.

When I'm 80 years old,

I can see myself in this beautiful place,

In a good mood,

Feeling radiant,

And my wishes have come true and I'm gonna make even more wishes come true because I will keep on wishing.

So do something today that resonates and do something tomorrow that also resonates.

And tomorrow will be different than today because you're meant to learn different lessons,

Right?

In a year,

You learn different lessons.

Different things will resonate,

Different places,

Maybe different people.

So start small today.

Your homework for tomorrow morning or for this morning is to wake up and write down five wishes that you have,

Five wishes that are possible today and a lot is possible in a day,

And then go and make one of them come true.

Something that you can make come true from a place of real joy.

And then get in the habit of doing that.

Get in the habit of making your own wishes come true,

Big and small.

And what you're showing to the universe is,

Look,

This is important to me.

Making my wishes come true,

It's important to me.

I'm willing to put my energy into this.

Now you also put the energy into it.

The universe mirrors each of us.

So if you make your wishes come true,

You get to live in a universe that also makes your wishes come true.

Understanding yourself,

Understanding who you are,

Understanding your needs,

It's one of the most important things you can do as a person.

It's a very deep journey.

It's not always a simple journey.

You have to really tune in.

So keep on reminding yourself of those waves.

The things that are not yours make you weaker.

Physically,

Not just like emotionally,

Physically.

The things that are yours,

They make you stronger.

They bring you closer to your wishes coming true.

So how do you know what's yours but what's not yours?

The body,

The body knows.

So when your body is all tense,

When you're in a place,

An activity,

Interacting with a person,

If your body is tense,

The thing is not yours.

If your body is relaxed,

If you feel energy flowing,

If you feel warmth in your body,

If your body has energy when you're with that person or doing that activity,

That thing is yours.

When we do a lot of things that are not ours and our bodies have this tension for long periods of time,

No massage can help with that.

The best massage therapist in the world will not help.

That's when we get sick.

We don't have enough energy,

We get sick.

And we get sick not because like life is evil and against you,

It's because life is on your side and it's saying to you,

Hey,

Pay attention.

You're not on the right track.

Look,

You're not in the right place.

The body being sick is the body's way of calling attention to itself and calling your attention back to you.

So it's very important in this life to walk your path.

If you pick some fantastic path,

Maybe altruistic path,

But not your path,

You'll always be tired.

You'll always be exhausted.

You'll always be laying in bed,

Losing energy.

And I've worked with people like this and it's amazing how quick the switch can be.

The switch can happen very quickly when you just start listening to yourself.

If after doing something,

You feel absolutely dead,

Not satisfied,

Like you just wanna get into bed,

That is not your path.

You picked someone else's scenario.

It might be fantastic where someone else,

Someone else might be on fire doing that.

That is just not you.

Remember that you can only make your own wishes come true because that's when the whole universe cooperates with you and the waves only get bigger.

Making not your own wishes come true is actually 10 times harder.

And it's also 10 times less rewarding.

If you take other people's wishes to be your own,

If you take other people's projects to be your own,

If you take other people's ideas to be your own,

Those things will be destructive to you.

They might be helpful to those people,

But they'll be like poison to you.

So everything needs to ring true.

We create an energetic connection with every event,

Every object,

Every person that touches our lives.

So every detail matters.

Anything that you choose to bring into your life,

It either destroys your energy or it actually grows your energy.

And remember that we do these meditations.

I do this work with you because we have to separate other people's voices from our own voice.

We need to also separate other people's wishes from our own wishes.

Because other people's wishes,

They don't resonate.

And I want you to live in a way that your heart sings.

So my wish to you,

May you live in a way that makes you happy every day.

May you have more energy each day.

May you discover more of your heart,

More of your wishes every day.

And may you fall in love more and more with life as your wishes come true.

And remember that with energy,

Our job isn't to create it.

There's no way to actually create more energy.

Your job is just to find what resonates,

Move in that direction,

And then the energy just comes to you.

And the more kind you are to yourself,

The more energy you will have.

So may you be kind to yourself.

May you listen to yourself.

May you be compassionate to yourself.

And I'll see you soon.