Embracing Gratefulness Into Your Life (Recording)

So how to bring more gratefulness into your life.

That is today's topic.

If you don't know,

My name is Emilio Jose Garcia.

And I am always excited to be here with you guys in these sessions.

So gratefulness to me is very important.

And I'm pretty sure it's very important for all of you.

Because when I reflect about how I think and how my brain functions,

I really recognize that the majority of the times my brain has a tendency of dramatizing things,

Of paying attention to that one thing that is not right,

That one thing that didn't work out.

And I kind of don't pay attention.

I forget about all the good stuff,

Right?

And this is something that I noticed because my wife is very verbal with me and my wife always when I am stuck in a negative self-talk or maybe I'm feeling frustrated that day because something is not working.

And I talk to her and I share it with her.

Samantha,

I'm having a hard time.

And then she notices like,

Wow,

You are very negative.

What's going on?

And then she reminds me of like,

Have you thought of all these things that you have done,

All the things that you accomplished?

And so many times I have to say,

I need to admit like,

Wow,

Like,

Yes,

All that stuff is good.

And I totally forgot.

I overlooked at it.

And I just focus on those little things that were not working.

And I was just fully centered in that specific thing that didn't work.

And I wasn't being grateful.

So when I step into gratefulness,

For me,

Gratefulness is an opportunity to come to the present moment.

It's an opportunity to pay attention to the good stuff that it's always there and I never pay enough attention to.

It's a good opportunity to experience the gratefulness.

And when you experience gratefulness,

You stop feeling all the things because normally you can only experience one feeling at a time.

That's what they say.

Sometimes that is a mixture of things.

But normally,

If you are feeling grateful,

If you are paying attention to what you are grateful for,

What you are happy about,

Most likely you are not feeling frustrated at the same time.

Most likely your negativity is going to diminish a little bit.

OK,

So that's why we need to find ways to be more grateful.

We need to find ways to bring gratefulness into our day to day life as much as we can,

Because my tendency and the tendency of many people is to get busy with life.

And we feel that gratefulness is a waste of time.

We need to get going.

We need to get doing.

We don't have time to stop.

We don't have time to look at our lives and be appreciative because there is so much to do.

And when we get in that,

In that pace,

So many times we are going to those rabbit holes of like,

Wow,

Like this didn't work.

I am frustrated.

Things are not working.

That person rejected me.

And it's very difficult to get out of there.

So for me,

Practicing gratefulness every single day helps me get out of it,

Helps me put things into perspective,

Helps me ground.

OK,

So gratefulness means feeling appreciation of kindness,

Is feeling happy about stuff that is present in your life.

OK,

Is paying attention to the good stuff that is going on,

The good things that happen to you,

The good things that are here right now with you.

Everything that you already have.

And so many times it doesn't have to be complicated.

OK,

It can be as easy as I'm happy because I am breathing.

I am happy because I am on Inside Timer doing a session.

You know how many million of people don't have access to even Inside Timer?

How many millions of people?

They don't even have Internet.

They don't even have a cell phone.

So things like that,

When you start thinking about that way,

You become like,

Wow,

So privileged I am,

So lucky I am.

I am so grateful to be having this opportunity.

I am grateful to have clothes to wear.

I am grateful to have a cozy bed to sleep in.

And let me tell you,

Every time I go camping and I go to I have an extreme experience where I was cold all night and we got lost and we had to sleep,

Whatever.

That really put things into perspective of like,

Wow,

Like I'm so happy to have a house.

I'm so happy to have heat.

So happy to have a bed that is comfortable and soft and warm because I didn't have that an entire night.

And that put things into perspective very,

Very quickly.

So I invite you to start thinking about what are you grateful for and start noticing throughout your day.

Start noticing what you pay attention to.

OK.

It's OK if you find yourself that you forgot.

It's OK if you realize,

Wow,

The whole day went by and I didn't even stop to think about this.

That's why we need reminders,

Guys.

That's why today's session is very relevant and very important,

Because we all know what we can do,

What we should do,

What we want to do.

But the day goes by and we just don't do it because we just forget.

And that's when strategies come into place.

That's when we need to find playful ways.

I always like to find playful,

Simple,

Doable ways to get started with anything that you want to change.

Today is about gratefulness.

So what can we do to embrace gratefulness into our lives?

More of it as much as we can.

And I will be sharing some strategies in a little bit.

OK,

Before going there,

I want to ask you a question.

Who are you?

OK,

Who are you when you are not being grateful?

How do you show up in the world?

Who are you when you are not grateful?

And take a couple of minutes to think about this if you want.

I want you to really think about who am I when I am not being grateful.

And just share what's coming up for you guys and try to be concise,

Because if you write a lot of stuff,

I won't be able to read it.

OK,

So who are you when you are not practicing gratefulness?

I am depressed,

Depressed without gratitude,

Self-centered,

Not in the derogatory way,

Literally empty.

I am a selfish,

Cynical pessimist,

A jerk,

Negative pessimistic.

When I am not being grateful,

I am caught up in comparisons to others.

So comparing,

I am a horrible person,

Hyper focus on my symptoms,

And then they escalate and the cycle begins.

Thank you,

Amy.

Bitter.

I am bitter and angry.

When not grateful,

I think I am lost in confusion.

Thankfully,

That is rare.

My glass is half empty.

Yeah,

It's not half full,

It's half empty,

Self-absorbed,

Negative,

Sad,

Overwhelmed.

I don't enjoy myself as much when gratefulness is not present.

Beautiful,

Anna.

So,

Guys,

How many of you want that in your life?

How many of you want to feel this way in your day to day life?

How many?

I am sending negative energy to other people.

No,

Capital letters.

So,

Guys,

Laughing out loud,

Not me.

Amazing.

No,

No.

OK,

So this is why this is a great reminder of a big motivation of why do we want more gratefulness in our life.

Now I want to ask you a different question.

Who are you when you practice gratefulness?

Who are you when you are feeling grateful?

When you feel it in your heart,

You are feeling grateful,

Not thinking about it,

Feeling it.

How,

Who are you and how do you,

How do you show up in the world?

Calm and centered.

Centered,

Happy.

So most likely all the opposites of the other ones,

Right?

Thoughtful,

Kind,

A good friend,

Positive energy,

Abandoned in all ways,

Supportive to others,

Bright in the room,

Helpful,

Kind,

Caring and grateful for people around me.

Happy and want to share my happiness with others.

When I am grateful,

I show up by lifting everyone I interact with.

Very different than ungrateful me.

Amazing.

A milieu,

Truth.

Growing up in the church and my family as a little girl,

Any negative feeling expressed was met with don't be selfish.

Don't be grateful.

Yeah.

And this is another thing that I want to talk about.

OK.

And in a minute,

Joyful and inspired.

OK.

Yeah.

So as you see,

Guys.

So what happens when you are grateful?

What is the ripple effect in yourself and in others in your life?

Like,

Do you want to hang out with a grateful person or do you want to hang out with an ungrateful person?

It's a very simple question.

I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be a yes.

Right.

And then how is life going to treat you when you are grateful versus when you are ungrateful?

How many opportunities are going to show up that are going to be exciting when you are ungrateful versus when you are grateful?

OK.

How much capacity you are going to have to see those good opportunities when you are being ungrateful versus when you are being grateful?

And the last thing I want you to think about is the ripple effect of.

So this is like a trail fork.

OK.

This is your own decision.

If you choose gratefulness,

You are going to go down a route.

And if you choose ungratefulness,

You are going to go into a different route,

Into a different direction.

So just think about what happens when I am grateful.

What's going to happen with my family?

What's going to happen with the opportunities that show up for me?

What's going to happen with clarity about what I want?

What's going to happen with the way you interact with others and what's going those behaviors going to create in your life?

OK,

So how is your life going to change?

How's your life going to be when you are grateful and you are showing up that way?

And how is your life going to be when you are ungrateful,

When you don't pay attention to the good stuff and you let all the negative stuff affect you,

Control you,

Make you feel sadness,

Frustration?

And I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel those things.

You are going to feel them.

But you're making a decision here.

You can feel it for a little bit and then you move on.

OK.

And you extract the gold.

You extract the learning opportunity.

OK.

You are grateful.

Maybe that happened for a reason.

What can you learn from this experience?

How can you overcome this experience in the most positive possible way?

OK,

How can you keep yourself safe and move forward with what you want in your life?

OK,

So think about that,

That trail fork.

You are standing there.

Just close your eyes with me,

Guys.

So you are walking in a trail,

Beautiful trail,

And then you find this trail fork and you can go to the right and you can go to the left.

OK.

There is a sign that says right.

This is towards gratefulness.

So if you start feeling gratefulness now,

You're going to turn right here and you have no idea what's going to be there for you.

And if you turn left,

You're going to go to the ungratefulness road and just visualize what's going to happen if you go to the right and spend a minute or two and then visualize what's going to happen if you go towards the left and you keep being ungrateful.

And you don't make gratefulness a priority in your life.

So just visualize your life and yourself and your family and your work and your passions,

Your clarity,

How you feel,

How you behave.

Just notice the difference between going right and going left.

And then notice,

Just visualize yourself one month from now.

Where are you if you go right,

If you choose gratefulness?

And where are you if you go left and you choose ungratefulness?

And just put those things in your hand,

Guys.

I invite you to put your hands right and left,

Just up like this in front of you and then just feel what gratefulness feels like on your right hand.

If you choose that path and then feel ungratefulness on your left hand and notice the weight of that as you are visualizing this exercise.

Keep your hands up like this and notice when you visualize either way,

Notice how that feels in your hands.

Where are you one year from now?

On the right,

Gratefulness versus the left and gratefulness.

Where are you two years,

Five years,

Ten years from now?

And you don't need to have,

You don't need to visualize very specifics.

You can try to connect with how are you going to be feeling?

What is going to be present in your life?

And just from this place of reflection,

Just look back and then make a choice.

Guys,

You are in the present moment now.

You visualize this opportunity,

This choice,

And you went down each way and you visualize what can happen on each way.

Now is your opportunity for you to come to the present moment and notice those hands.

Which one is heavier?

Which one feels nicer?

What do you want to choose?

OK.

So I invite you to choose whatever feels good to you.

And you don't need to even know how to do it.

OK,

Forget about the how to.

I just want you to make a choice.

Do you want to be a grateful person or do you want to be an ungrateful person?

Do you want to pay attention to the good stuff around your life or do you want to pay attention to the negative stuff around your life?

Because this is the thing.

The reality,

It is what it is,

Guys.

It is what it is.

You can make it good.

You can make it bad.

You can make it dark.

You can make it bright.

You can make it wet and cold if it rains or you can make it exciting and playful.

So it doesn't matter what it is.

What it is,

It's just what it is.

We can then put labels on those things,

As many as we want,

And we can choose how we feel about that.

So it is our choice.

OK.

So thank you so much for sharing all these things,

Guys.

I think this puts in perspective the importance of this decision.

OK.

The importance of this decision.

So Lisa says,

Wow,

The right hand path kept going and growing.

The left hand path just stopped.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

So you felt that.

Where attention goes,

Energy flows.

This is authentic gratitude.

Absolutely.

My right hand was tingling.

Powerful exercise.

And I love to hike.

So that's a beautiful palpable image I can work with all day when I get stuck in a mood.

Yeah,

Guys,

I invite you to do this exercise and you can visualize whatever you want.

I love hiking,

Too.

And I love trail forks.

And I love to think about what happens if I go this way and this way and kind of dream and entertain the ideas.

But we kind of know what we choose.

There is no much we can control in life.

We can control our attitude of gratitude.

Absolutely.

Caroline,

Thank you for sharing that.

Yes,

There is no much we can control sometimes in life.

Like we cannot control what happens outside.

We cannot control other people,

What they do,

What they don't do.

The only thing that we can control is how we react to those things.

What we choose to think about them.

We choose the meaning that we place on those situations.

So the exact same situation and pay attention to these guys.

When a big life event happens.

Okay.

Sometimes it's tragedy.

Sometimes it's accidents.

Sometimes it's a tornado.

Sometimes it's like just notice.

Sometimes it's just raining.

A rainy day,

A cold day,

A really hot day.

Just notice how people react and notice some people.

You just want to be with them because they just have fun.

Doesn't matter what.

Some people,

They are always they are always hungry.

They're always frustrated.

They're always finding something to complain about.

And you just say,

I don't want to be with this person.

It's not fun.

It's always like negative.

And so I tend to do both.

I tend to,

The majority of the times,

I tend to be a complainer and I'm trying to change that because I don't like it.

But yeah,

You can get caught into complain,

Complain,

Complain instead of appreciating what's good.

Okay.

So let's let's share in the chat now.

Now that we are clear about our decision,

Maybe now is the time to really explore.

Okay.

How can we bring more gratefulness into our lives?

What are some strategies that we can implement?

What what are some actions that we can actually simple actions that we can do daily to make sure that we are being grateful,

That we are practicing that that behavior?

Because it's fine if you don't even know how to do it.

It's fine if you haven't been a lot of attention to.

You can always get started with it.

Okay,

So.

Yes,

Yes.

Start sharing in the chat.

So a visual reminder.

So,

Sharon,

What is that exactly?

Is that a photo?

Is that what do you do?

And I want you guys to share something that you are doing right now that is working for you first.

And then we can jump into other general strategies after.

What are you doing right now that is working for you,

That is helping you being more grateful every day?

What's working for you?

Let's start with things that you do daily.

So daily meditation and inside time are how I experience gratefulness.

Family.

A daily gratitude leads with friends.

So Jules,

Are you doing this with friends?

Are you getting together and doing a list?

Are you calling them?

How are you doing this?

I just want this specific so that you guys can get inspired from each other.

OK,

Kelly says savoring positive experiences.

Can you tell us,

Kelly,

How you do that practically?

What do you do?

Do you meditate?

Do you visualize?

What do you do?

Jules says I text daily.

A long change of lovely things.

Amazing.

So you use text messaging with a group of friends and then you share things you are grateful for.

Great idea.

I always try to do something.

Nice to other people.

Beautiful.

So acts of service.

Journaling only works while doing.

I literally close my eyes and feel into my heart,

Then run through my day like a movie and try to feel into the little moments that felt good.

I sink into it,

Lean into the feeling in my body.

Beautiful,

Amy.

So you do like a little visualization back into how your day was and what happened.

And you try to relive the good moments.

Every day I make a list of three things I'm grateful for.

Amazing.

I text people in my life randomly and tell them I love them and appreciate them,

Etc.

Deborah,

Beautiful act.

I'm sure that people receiving that text message,

They must be really happy.

Notice the good even if it's small.

I am grateful to warm laundry just out of the dryer.

Yeah,

My daughter loves that.

And my cat,

Too.

Every time I do laundry,

If I use the dryer,

They are both on top of it.

That's funny.

Yeah,

So your list is feeling grateful.

Me and my partner,

Tony,

Are feeling happy and grateful to be here with Emilio and others in the community here.

Amazing list.

So you're being grateful to be able to be in a session like this.

This is amazing,

Guys.

People from all over the world gathering and sharing and learning from each other.

How beautiful is that?

I keep a column open in my journal next to notes events of the day.

I break down the grateful takeaway next to each event.

Beautiful.

One way when I eat a small dessert,

I try to savor every bite.

Beautiful.

So,

Carolyn,

You are you are practicing mindfulness.

Bringing attention to whatever you are doing in the present moment and doing it with intention.

It's funny because my daughter at school,

They do that.

Sometimes we receive a message from the daycare that says today we we practice mindfulness eating a watermelon.

So eating a watermelon mindfully.

And then they have a whole list of how they do it.

What came up.

Every kid described what they were feeling,

What they were feeling with their hands,

What they were feeling in their mouths.

The smell.

And it was beautiful.

It's such a thing that is so simple.

And we I don't do I what I'm able to do that.

God.

So I could practice more mindfulness for sure.

Amazing.

Looking at my cat has me pause and be present.

Yeah.

I've set a timer for three minutes.

I made a list.

Things I'm grateful for.

And don't stop the pain.

It's easier than it seems.

Beautiful Amy.

So you you invite yourself to spend three full minutes just practicing gratefulness.

Amazing.

Yeah.

So as you see,

Guys,

You can keep reading and reading.

People are sharing the stuff that is working for them.

So there are so many ways of doing this.

OK,

So many ways of doing this.

I'm happy to share some of my own stuff that I do in case it helps.

My wife got a book out of the library and it was a 30 day challenge.

Gratefulness challenge.

And that book had different different things for every day.

So we did that,

For example.

One of the things that came out of that book is having a magic rock.

So a magic rock is a rock,

A little rock that I grab from the ground.

And then in my case,

I painted it with my daughter.

So my wife has one.

My daughter has one and I have one.

And then this magic rock sits by my bedside table.

So I have it there and I see it every night.

Every time I go to bed,

I see the magic rock.

And this magic rock is inviting me to reflect about what is my main.

What's my main gratefulness activity that happened today?

What is my.

And then that allows me to do what Amy described.

I close my eyes and I do a scan of my day and then I start trying to look for positive things that happen.

So that's already that's already a beautiful thing to do.

Right.

You are scanning your day.

I'm finding all the good stuff that happened.

And then you are forcing yourself to pick one thing.

What is the thing that inspire you the most?

What is the thing that you are the most grateful for?

Sometimes I can come up with one thing because I have so many.

But you have to really feel them and say,

Wow,

Over all,

I choose this experience.

And many times they are experiences,

Guys,

That is it's not about what I was doing,

For example.

So many times it's about my daughter looking at me a specific way or a person doing a specific thing that really inspired me or seeing nature.

A bird coming down,

Grabbing a worm and flying away on the cycle of life.

I don't know.

I can come in so many different ways.

Sometimes I also think about what did I do today?

And I try to be grateful.

I'm proud of myself for everything that I accomplished that day and how I manage my emotions,

Maybe how I managed when my daughter was crying and I didn't get upset and I stayed present.

So maybe that was my magic rod that day.

But yeah,

Having a magic rock is always an invitation for me to think about.

My best gratefulness moment of the day.

I normally it's funny because my wife,

She will ask me,

Hey,

What's your magic rod today?

Or I will ask her.

So it becomes this couple thing.

And then we start sharing.

Right.

Oh,

I think and then we we allow ourselves a little bit of time to really go through the day and then we share.

Oh,

I did this.

I did that.

I really enjoy that.

And that's a connection piece for us,

Too.

So that's one way that we do it.

We also have a big old glass window that I screw into the wall.

And that's our gratefulness board.

And basically we have markers on a mason jar beside it.

And every time that something happens that is worth for us putting in there,

We write it in that board.

And we have half of the board is gratefulness.

Good things that happen.

And then we celebrate them.

And the other half is challenges,

Hard situations to learn from things that happened that we didn't know how to manage.

So that we remind ourselves,

Wow,

That that experience was really hard for me.

I didn't know what to do with it.

So it's an opportunity for us to put energy,

Reflect and then brainstorm ideas and strategies for what can I do next time that this happens?

How what can I do differently to manage the situation in a better way?

So that's another thing that we do.

Right.

So that's another idea that we have having a visual board where we actually write it down.

OK,

That's thing.

My wife uses a journal and I have a journal,

Too.

I don't write right now.

I'm not writing down gratefulness stuff.

I just think about it.

So I try to really spend a few minutes every day thinking about what I'm grateful for.

And I try to verbalize that to other people,

Too.

Like I try to incorporate that in in praise,

Meaning like when I see a friend,

It's like,

Wow,

Thank you so much for inviting me to your home.

It really means a lot to me to spend time with you.

Or thank you so much for calling me.

Or thank you so much for organizing this event.

When they praise me,

Thank you so much for thinking about my work and for asking about it.

It's so nice to be able to share this with you.

Like,

Just try to find opportunities every single time to be praising other people,

To be grateful about what's going on.

OK,

So those are some of the things that I try to do every day that puts me in a very grateful place.

Every time I don't feel well,

I try to go to gratefulness if I can.

OK,

Sometimes I can't.

That's another thing.

Sometimes I cannot.

So I need so then,

You know,

You have to do something.

OK,

When I when I cannot tap into gratefulness,

Guys,

That means that I am too far down the rabbit hole.

And what I need is to practice some self-care.

I need to do something to decompress.

I need to do something to come back and then I am able to tap into gratefulness.

So many times you cannot tap into gratefulness because maybe you are too far down into frustration.

You are too far down into sadness.

You are too far down into anger.

You are too far down into an emotion and you cannot feel gratefulness.

It's impossible.

It's not accessible to you.

It's OK if that happens to you.

It's normal.

The only thing that you can do when you are there,

What is accessible for me right now?

OK,

Maybe gratefulness is not.

But if I am feeling a lot of anger,

Maybe I can move from anger to frustration.

OK,

Maybe I can move from frustration to disappointment.

Maybe I can move from disappointment to,

Oh,

OK,

I'm going to not lose it here.

I'm just going to stay neutral.

I don't want to be grateful,

But I can at least not be ungrateful.

And then over time you start regulating your how you feel and then you start.

OK,

Now I feel like I can tap into something.

So now I can be grateful because I'm breathing.

I can be grateful because I'm alive.

And then start finding things that are simple.

And then the more you start going down that list,

The more you are going to start tapping into deeper and deeper stuff.

And then all of a sudden you are going to start experiencing joy,

Happiness,

Appreciation,

Maybe forgiveness,

Maybe compassion.

OK,

But you cannot sometimes you cannot go there straight.

You need to walk your walk a little bit.

OK,

So that's something that I also wanted to say,

Like it's OK if you cannot tap into gratefulness right away.

OK,

If you are there,

We all get there sometimes.

Sometimes too many times.

But that's your work.

Like what do I have access to right now?

And then start climbing the ladder.

OK,

And over time it may take you a few seconds,

A few minutes,

A few hours,

Maybe a few days.

But you are working towards that.

And when you get there,

Guys,

It's easier to stay there and it's easier to anytime you notice that you are going into frustration,

You are going into anger,

You're going into your feeling triggered.

It's kind of easier for you to go back to that place of like grounding and then,

OK,

What am I grateful for?

OK,

I need to focus on that now for a little bit.

So it's going to become easier the more you practice it.

OK.

Yeah,

Need to work on very intentional gratitude toward myself.

Yeah,

So.

So,

Guys,

You have lots of ideas there.

I share some of mine.

OK,

So visual reminders is something that you can do if you have a mobile phone and you use a calendar,

Put a reminder in your phone.

Maybe that repeats every few hours and then it can be a celebration reminder.

It can be a grateful reminder.

Just put a sentence that inspires you.

And that sentence is going to show up in your phone every I don't know.

You choose the frequency.

OK.

Once a day,

Every morning,

Every night.

I normally like to do once a morning,

Midday and once a night.

And then that way it's a reminder for me to like,

OK,

What am I grateful for?

And then it's an invitation for me to do as can.

How am I feeling now?

Wow.

I'm going down this route of feeling frustrated with work because this is not working.

OK,

Calm down.

OK.

Just three things you are grateful for.

And then that sets you in a different tone.

OK,

So those reminders can be a tool for you to avoid going too down into the rabbit hole.

Because we forget and when that reminder shows up,

You can use funny icons.

You can have on the notes of that reminder.

If you have a phone,

You can have a link to a funny video that makes you laugh.

You can have a link to a video that you made for yourself.

You can have a photo that every time you look at it,

You feel inspired or maybe a photo that represents your life mission and the person you want to become.

So,

Guys,

You can make it playful.

You can listen to an audio of some sort that makes you,

Uplifts you.

You choose what that is.

But try to do something that is convenient,

Easy,

That doesn't take more than a minute,

30 seconds.

And do that three times a day and then tell me how you feel after at least three times a day if you can.

OK.

Yeah,

If you Google emotional guidance scale,

You will find this.

Yeah.

So emotional guidance scale.

I don't have it with me right now.

I have a copy in the filing cabinet,

But that's a that's an emotional list that goes on the top.

You have joy,

You have happiness,

You have compassion,

Forgiveness.

And then all the way down,

You have the more heavy stuff like anger,

Depression.

Yeah,

Like all the emotions that are really heavy.

And when you are feeling them,

When you are immersing them,

It's very difficult to reach to the top of the list.

That's what I was talking about.

You have to it's like a ladder.

So you cannot go from the bottom of the ladder all the way up because you cannot reach it.

That's why it's important to think about what's available to me right now from the place I am now.

And then you start climbing that.

That scale,

That ladder slowly,

Sometimes it may take you a few seconds,

Sometimes a few minutes,

Sometimes a few hours.

The more you practice,

The easier it's going to be for you to go to the neutral place and from there tap into joy,

Tap into.

That's why practicing gratefulness every day in whatever way fits your life.

It's going to allow you to be aware of that ladder emotional guidance ladder.

Okay.

And you're going to be able to tap into those high emotions often.

Okay.

You are going to be able to tap into joy every day.

You are going to be able to tap into happiness every day.

You're going to be able to tap into forgiveness every day.

Like this is what happens.

Like if you are every day thinking about what,

Who can I forgive today?

Okay.

Who can I forgive today?

And then you start thinking about a specific thing.

For example,

Yesterday I was thinking about my dad and I was thinking like,

I forgive my dad for not being able to show me what emotional regulation means and how I could do it.

And I forgive him because I know that he didn't get that from his father either.

So no one taught him how to do that.

And as much pain as I have had because of that,

I recognize that it is not his fault.

I recognize that he did his best and I forgive him.

So guys,

I have tears in my eyes.

I don't know if you notice,

My voice is getting very like,

So I am tapping.

This is forgiveness,

Guys.

This is what forgiveness looks like.

Boring.

Okay.

Visualizing the person in front of you and just being very real with them.

Really sharing what you are feeling in your heart.

So this is forgiveness.

Okay.

From this place of forgiveness,

I can be grateful.

I can open my heart to love.

Okay.

If I don't,

If I cannot get here easily,

It may take me a little bit of time.

Okay.

It may take you some help.

It may take you maybe therapy or maybe being a part of a group or maybe,

Guys,

Every week I have a men's circle and I open my heart with them.

I try to open my heart with my wife a few times a week.

We do intentional dialogues.

We do whatever we need.

Okay.

I am constantly trying to open myself up to other people.

It's not easy.

But that's my work.

That's what I want.

I want to be more authentic.

I want to be able to show who I am without being afraid of being judged,

Being a weirdo.

So that's why I want to be grateful for things because I want to be myself.

And I understand that some people will not like what I'm doing,

But I need to have empathy for them too.

And I need to regulate the emotions that show up when they don't accept me.

But the majority of the times that doesn't happen.

That's the thing that's in my head.

And this is another thing I want to cover before we go.

There are a lot of barriers for you to practice gratefulness for some of you.

Emotional barriers,

Beliefs that we learned when we were little.

Maybe your parents had no idea how to be grateful.

They could never teach that to you because they didn't know how to do it.

So you have the opportunity here to break that generational trauma,

I call it.

Like the trauma that has been passed from father to father to father,

Mother to mother to mother,

Because they didn't know how to do it,

Guys.

Now you have the opportunity to show them.

Now you have the opportunity to change that in your life.

Now you have the opportunity to teach this to your kids,

To teach this to the people around you,

To at least plant the seed in their heads.

Like there is a different way.

This is a possibility.

This is something that you can try.

So by you doing that,

You are offering the opportunity for other people to be able to do that,

Too.

But you have to do the work first.

And I know that some of you,

I know you really well,

And I know that some of you being grateful,

Practicing self-care.

I know that you have lots of beliefs.

That's selfish.

That's a waste of time.

That is not necessary.

You don't deserve that.

Who are you to do that when life is busy?

You should be working more.

You should be doing more.

And blah,

Blah,

Blah.

OK,

So you need to recognize what's standing in the way for me to be able to be grateful.

Really shine the light on those things,

Guys.

Don't shy away from them.

Just be a warrior.

Be courageous.

Be willing to go there.

And question it.

Is that real?

Why is this present in my life?

Why am I selfish if I take care of myself?

Is it really true?

If I take care of myself,

Am I going to be able to help other people more or less?

So if I can help them more because I am in a better place.

Is that being selfish?

So start thinking about that and start creating different beliefs,

Start creating different affirmations for yourself.

Start changing the self-talk that you have in your head and start facing the resistance that you're going to find when you start changing.

OK,

You're going to face resistance.

People are going to say,

Who the hell are you?

Why are you doing this?

What is the person that always say yes to everything I wanted them to do?

And now you're telling me no.

What the heck?

Who are you?

What is the old you?

I want the old you because that old you was serving me better.

Right.

But if that's not what you want to do anymore,

It is your job to start creating different boundaries.

It is your job to be more courageous,

To step into your place,

To be firm in a loving way,

In a respectful way.

To teach them who you are,

The new person that you are becoming so that they understand how to deal with you,

Because clearly you are not going to be doing the same thing that you were doing before,

Are you?

Now you're going to be more grateful.

Now you're going to take time for yourself when you need it.

Now you're going to practice self-care.

Now you're going to understand what you want in life.

And you're going to say yes to what the things that you want.

And you're going to say no to the things that don't fit your life.

Because you have that power.

And you're going to say no with confidence,

With love,

With compassion.

But being honest with yourself and always explaining,

I don't want to do this because it's not something that interests me.

I don't have the time because I have other important things to do.

That thing just doesn't fulfill my mission in life.

I'm not passionate about it.

I choose not to do it.

And the things that you have to do that you want to do,

You're going to do them with more intention.

You're going to find ways to be more efficient so that you can free up time to do more of the things that you cannot do right now.

And then you're going to be more grateful.

And then this is like a snowball that is getting bigger and bigger and bigger the more it rolls down.

It's the same with you guys.

You start being grateful today,

One time,

Tomorrow,

Two times.

And then you start practicing that.

And then you start showing up with more intention.

You start connecting more with yourself.

You stop.

You start being more compassionate.

You start forgiving things,

Forgiving people.

Letting go of attachments,

Letting go of expectations,

Letting go of beliefs that tell you that you don't deserve.

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And then you become loved.

You become someone that people want to be with.

And no one is going to come and control you because they won't be able to.

And you don't have to do anything.

You just have to be yourself.

You just have to show who you are.

And then everything will fade away.

I promise it will.

All the dynamics that you don't like,

They will fade away because you are not a part of them anymore.

People are not going to be getting what they used to.

So they have to change how they behave with you too.

So you are giving them an opportunity to change.

Also an opportunity to rethink how they can do things.

And most likely you are going to inspire them like,

Wow,

This person is changing a lot.

But it's kind of it's kind of nice.

Like what they are doing is inspiring.

So I want that too in my life.

So just think about all these things,

Guys.

The more work you do,

The more grateful you are.

The more you're going to change the way you show up.

And the more opportunities are you going to give to others to do the same thing?

OK,

So the work is going to look different for each of you.

The way you practice gratefulness is going to look different.

And that's beautiful and perfect.

So I want you to get something from this session today.

And that is.

What is one simple way that you are planning to start doing every day so that you can be more grateful?

And I would love to read some in the chat before we go,

Please.

Would you like to share?

Amelia,

Some people shared abuse stories above.

Can you briefly touch on forgiveness?

That is not accepting abuse.

Yeah,

Very,

Very heavy topic,

Amy.

And this is something that I understand that.

There is a lot of trauma around that.

There is lots of emotions associated to that past experience.

And that past experience is going to be a part of your life.

We all have some sort of past experiences that are traumatic.

So we cannot change the experience itself.

OK.

The only thing that we can change is.

Learn how to live with that experience and learn how to manage all the emotions that are showing up every time.

That experience comes back to us.

OK.

How does that experience come back to us?

When you have a traumatic experience,

We all have a memory.

Sometimes it's a smell.

Sometimes it's a feeling,

A touch.

Sometimes it's a taste.

Sometimes it's a huge emotion that you experience.

So in the present moment,

Sometimes there can be things in your environment that can trigger that memory to show up.

And when you connect with that memory,

You are relieving that experience.

And then you are traumatizing yourself more and more.

So the way that I know professional therapies,

I am not a professional therapist by any means,

But the way I know that they help people through this.

I am a trauma informed person.

I have read some about trauma.

The way that they help people manage that is by helping them manage.

The emotions associated to that event.

OK.

The event,

It is what it is,

And it's in the past.

You cannot change the event.

OK.

The only thing that you can change is the meaning that you give to that event.

Change all the beliefs that you form about yourself when that happened.

OK.

And when there is abuse,

Of course,

There is lots of things that you are telling yourself that you are because of that event that happened.

And maybe it's not your fault.

You had nothing to do with it.

The person who did it to you,

Who knows why they did it.

So.

The only thing that you can do is change that,

Change the meaning,

Manage those emotions in a way that you can experience them and live the life that you want as much as possible.

That's the only thing that you can do.

And that's why you will get therapy help in so many different ways.

And I am not the person to come for that kind of help because I am not trained.

I'm not a professional for trauma by any means,

But I do recognize how people feel.

I do recognize how they get triggered.

I do recognize how important love and an open heart is for those people.

So for those people who are feeling that way.

Just answer this question.

Do you think that those people who are traumatized by past events,

Do you think that they need grateful people in their lives or they need and they need ungrateful people in their lives?

Do they need people who are willing to open their hearts?

Just think about that.

Yeah,

Open heart,

Of course.

So that's why so many times the only thing that we can do for someone who is experiencing trauma is just be there for them.

You don't have to fix them.

You don't have to ask questions.

You just have to be there to support them.

Ask them,

What do you need?

What can I do for you?

That's it.

It's very simple.

But so many times we just try to do too much.

We just try to make assumptions,

Try to fix,

Try to ask.

And sometimes we just need presence.

That's it.

Someone says what I described is from Brooke Castillo,

The Life Code School.

Yeah,

I love her.

I have listened to pretty much all the episodes that she has about that.

About her podcast.

Yeah,

It's a really good source of.

There are so many amazing podcast guys out there that you can listen to.

Honestly,

Like it's a great way of learning.

I'm always listening to something,

Always learning new things.

I'm always very curious.

And there are beautiful,

Amazing people.

So the people that you like,

Most likely they have something out there that you can listen to.

So everybody's kind of feel inspired by someone different.

Sometimes even the tone of voice can change how you receive information,

Guys.

Sometimes some people will connect with a female voice.

Some people will connect with a male voice.

Some people will connect with an accent.

And it's the same information,

But you receive that information in a different way.

Why?

Because you are triggered somehow.

Because you have a memory.

Because for some people,

My voice may remind them of a family member that they loved.

That's why they feel pleasant with my voice.

For other people,

My voice can trigger them because maybe it reminds them of a person who abused them in some way.

And every time they hear me,

They are triggered by that and they just cannot receive from me.

So that's another example of how this works.

So that's why it is your job to really ask for what you need.

It is your job to really receive how you want to receive and verbalize that as much as possible.

And it is your job to find what helps you.

OK?

Yeah.

So,

Guys,

What is one thing that you took away from today's session that you are going to incorporate in your life?

You are going to start doing and you are actually going to start taking action.

Something that is simple,

Something that takes maybe 30 seconds to a minute max.

No more than that,

Because if you make it longer,

It's going to be unlikely you're going to do it.

OK?

So what is one thing?

Painted rock.

Thank you,

Lisa.

Painted rock.

So you're going to have a magic rock.

Where are you going to place it?

What is one place where you're going to see it every day?

Just think about that so that you make sure that you every day you see it next to my bed.

Beautiful.

I am going to start joining your life sessions again because I adore your community.

The community that follows you.

Beautiful.

Bedside table rock.

Me too.

Painted magic rock.

Amazing.

Try to pick what I'm most grateful for in the evening.

So,

Carolyn,

How are you going to do that specifically?

How are you going to remind yourself every day to do that?

Practice boundaries with love.

Not sure yet how.

So,

Michelle,

What do you have accessible right now?

What is one idea that is going to remind you of doing practicing boundaries with love?

Just take one thing that you can do now.

Maybe it's journaling about it.

Maybe it is listening to a podcast about it.

Maybe it is having a conversation with a specific person about it.

So what is one thing that you are doing?

Maybe I will bring a special stone on my trip.

Yeah.

Amazing.

Put a reminder note at your bedside table.

I have a timer on my phone that reminds me to practice gratitude every evening before bed.

Beautiful,

Cynthia.

So that's how you do it.

Amazing.

So,

Guys,

These are some examples of what you guys are planning on doing.

So please make sure that you follow through.

OK,

Do whatever it takes to make sure that you remember that you remind yourself of doing this.

OK.

And I hope to hear hopefully in the circle,

If you want to be a part of it.

The circle is called Your Throbbing Lifestyle.

I invite you to join and I invite you to to share in that circle.

What are you doing?

How often?

How is it working?

And then you can even get accountability there if you want to.

People are going to ask,

Hey,

How is that going?

Have you done that?

And guys,

You can friend each other,

Too.

And you can become accountability buddies if you need that,

Too.

You can text each other or message each other every day,

Every morning,

Every evening.

Have you done that?

What are you grateful for today?

And it can become.

This is a way of gamifying this,

Making it playful,

Right?

Making it more not a chore,

Something that is playful,

Something that you are looking forward to.

OK,

So,

Guys,

Time to go.

I am very grateful to have your presence here today.

Very,

Very grateful.

Yeah,

I am.

Honestly,

I don't have words to describe how grateful I am and how nicely this session flow and how much you guys shared.

So thank you for that.

Come with the ripple effect of this gratefulness in your lives and in the families and your friends.

So,

Yeah,

I hope to see you next week.

I have no idea what I'm going to be talking about,

But I will figure something out.

I will see you on Tuesday.

And then until then,

Make sure that you you can take my courses.

You can keep listening on Inside Timer to stuff and be grateful every day,

Whatever you chose to do.

Make sure that you repeat that every day.

OK,

I will see you on Tuesday.

Adios.