Reasons Why You Don't Practice Selfcare (Live Recording)

Good morning everybody.

Welcome to another session with me.

My name is Emilio Jose Garcia and today's topic is about self-care.

The reasons why you don't practice self-care.

Before getting started,

Let's just allow ourselves a few seconds to just breathe and just be in silence.

Okay,

Let's transition into this session together.

I'm gonna play my singing bowl and I want you to just close your eyes if you can and then take a few deep breaths with me,

Okay?

Thank you so much for allowing yourself just a few seconds.

Okay,

A few seconds to nurture your mind and your emotions and just giving yourself some space.

So before getting started with today's topic,

Guys,

I would like to share that I have two upcoming workshops,

Okay?

I want you to know in case you are interested in diving deeper or if you need to,

You know someone who wants to dive deeper into any of these topics.

So one of the workshops is a five-day workshop.

It's called How to Live a Mindful and Minimalist Life.

Okay,

That workshop is five days,

Starts on March 3rd,

So next week.

There are only 25 spots available,

Only 25,

Okay?

They are two-hour sessions and I am going to be covering time management,

Self-care and mindfulness,

How to create your peaceful and clutter-free home,

Tame your paper clutter,

So paper management,

And meal planning,

Okay?

So that's one workshop that is happening throughout March,

Every Thursday.

Okay,

The other workshop that I have,

It's called Creating Your Peaceful and Clutter-Free Home.

This one is a two-day workshop and it's going to be focusing on helping the attendants,

Only 10 people allowed,

So there are only 10 spots available,

And we are going to focus on decluttering one area of your home.

So how it works is like we're gonna have the first call,

It's a two-hour call and everybody is gonna have time to share their space and what they are going to do in the next week,

And then they're gonna have a week to do the work and you have access to a circle where I am going to be supporting you there,

And then you will have another two-hour call after to talk about challenges,

Anything that came up for you,

And any help that you need.

That was a request from some of you guys,

So I made it happen.

Okay,

So that information can be found on my Insight Timer profile under the Workshops tab.

If you want to learn more or to,

Like,

Sign up,

Just go to my profile,

Emilio Jose Garcia,

On Insight Timer and click on Workshops.

And if you are listening to the reply,

For those of you who are listening to this after,

There will be links underneath.

Okay,

So let's get started with today's topic.

And today's topic is,

I always find it very,

Very interesting,

Because when we talk about self-care,

I think we are all guilty of not practicing enough so many times.

So today I want to talk about the reasons,

That's my carne grito,

About the reasons why you don't practice self-care.

And I will say the reason why we don't practice self-care,

All of us sometimes.

Okay?

So I'm going to share them first,

And then after that,

I'm going to allow some time for discussion.

Okay?

So the first reason that I have,

And this is a list that I just made yesterday,

I was just thinking reasons,

And then I just brought the things that came up for me.

I'm pretty sure there will be more that you may know of.

And if that's the case,

Please share them in the chat.

Okay?

The first one,

Not being sure what self-care means.

And this is something that for some of you is like,

Wow,

That's crazy.

Guys,

Some people don't quite understand the concept of self-care.

So it's important to make sure that the person understands what self-care means.

Okay?

And how it's done,

Like what does self-care means?

So that's the first reason why you may not be practicing self-care,

Because you don't even know what it is.

Okay?

Reason number two.

Reason number two is don't have time.

I don't have time.

I'm always busy.

I don't have time for self-care.

That's a very normal excuse.

And that's a huge reason of why so many people,

So many of us,

Sometimes choose not to practice self-care because we don't have the time.

We believe we don't have the time.

Okay?

Another reason is an emotional reason.

And this can be very deep.

This can be,

I don't deserve to practice self-care.

Self-care is selfish.

Who am I to be allowed to do that?

Et cetera,

Et cetera,

Et cetera.

So emotional,

An emotional challenge in time,

An emotional barrier that you are facing that doesn't let you practice self-care.

Okay?

How many of you are resonating with any of this so far?

Just say in the chats,

If you are resonating with any of this,

Okay?

I will say that the not having time is a huge one,

But I will say that the emotional challenge is probably one of the biggest ones for a lot of people.

Okay?

Because I don't deserve it.

I don't want to be selfish.

I have way more important things to do.

Other people are more important than me,

Et cetera,

Et cetera.

Okay?

Another reason is financial cost.

Self-care is too expensive.

I cannot afford doing self-care.

That's another huge reason for some people.

Okay?

Again,

Because there is a belief that self-care means going to a spa,

Going for a vacation.

Self-care means getting a hundred dollar massage.

So if you associate cost to self-care and you are tight on budget,

Of course you are not going to practice self-care.

But self-care can be many,

Many other things and they don't have to cost money.

Okay?

Another huge reason of why we may not practice self-care is not having a good environment.

What does that mean?

Environment means having physical clutter around you and maybe you just cannot relax because you are always reminded of things that you have to do.

You don't feel comfortable in your space.

You don't have a dedicated space where you can just be with yourself.

You don't put yourself in an environment of maybe going to a nice park or going for a walk in nature.

So the environment is very,

Very important.

Okay?

So distractions can happen.

The relationships,

The dynamics that are happening around.

So sometimes you have to position yourself in a compelling environment for self-care.

And I'm happy to share an example about this.

For example,

My wife and I,

We like doing yoga.

We started doing yoga a while ago.

And my wife got certified and everything.

But we find that if we try to do yoga at home,

Sometimes it happens,

But it's very unlikely because there is always something to do.

Our cat is here.

Our daughter is at home.

There are so many distractions.

I could be doing laundry.

I could be cooking.

I have to clean the floors.

You understand what I mean.

Plus the motivation of getting yourself to actually do it.

If we go to the gym and there is a class scheduled and people are waiting for us and we have to sign up,

That's a different story.

We show up and we are in an environment with other people and the energy alone and the teacher,

Everything is just different.

Okay?

Same if you like running,

Running alone versus running with a group of people.

So same if you want to clear your mind and you go to do a walk in a forest that you have close by compared with staying at home.

So sometimes removing yourself from your familiar environment and putting yourself in a more compelling space or environment,

It's helpful.

Okay?

So environment very important.

And if you have a home,

Creating a place for you to be able to practice self care,

It's very important.

For example,

I like playing my guitar.

So I made sure to create a little corner where my guitar is hanging there.

My music sheet is there always set up and there is a place for me to sit.

So I only have to show up there,

Sit down and play.

And then I put the guitar very conveniently.

So that's a way for me to make sure that I practice my guitar.

I love juggling my balls.

So they are sitting beside my bedside table so that I can see them every day.

And the environment is appealing to me to actually do the juggling.

And sometimes I take them with me to a park.

So again,

Thinking about if you want to meditate,

Creating a nook for yourself somewhere in your home.

Okay?

So the environment,

Sometimes we don't have the right environment.

Okay?

Another big reason of why we may not practice self care,

It's people pleasing.

Okay?

It's people pleasing.

It's not being able to say no to the things that we don't like.

Okay?

Not being able to state clearly what your needs are.

Okay?

Not being able to really know what you really need and clearly communicate that to other people.

Okay?

So that's really,

Really a huge reason.

Learning how to say no and creating healthy boundaries about your specific needs.

Another huge reason is having limited energy.

So some of us,

We have limited energy.

And it's funny because this is a circle that happens,

Right?

If you have limited energy,

You need to practice self care to recharge yourself.

But if you don't practice self care,

You don't have energy.

And if you don't have energy,

You are less likely to practice self care because you just can't do it.

You just don't have the energy.

So that's a huge reason for some of us.

Like sometimes we don't have the energy to do practice self care.

Okay?

So what else?

Another huge reason is lack of motivation.

That goes tight with the lack of energy,

Right?

Sometimes you are lacking energy,

So you are not motivating,

Motivated.

And then you are just in an inactive state.

You just don't want to take any action in anything.

And this is funny because I was reading a book the other day,

And it was talking about how important it is to take action.

Any action.

Sometimes when we are feeling stagnant,

And we don't know what to do,

Taking some sort of action is better than doing nothing.

Okay?

And I'm not saying don't relax and do nothing.

That's also necessary.

But sometimes you want to do something,

But you don't know what to do.

So you just don't do anything.

And then you stay in that state of inaction.

And then that kind of drains you.

And then you feel unmotivated.

You don't have energy.

And then it's a cycle that you have to get out of by practicing self care.

Okay?

Another reason is lack of connection with ourselves.

This is really,

It's very important.

And it's something that we don't recognize sometimes,

But when you are not connected with yourself,

You don't know what you need.

You cannot understand the signs that your body,

Your mind,

Your emotions are telling you.

You are not in touch with yourself.

When that happens,

Of course you are not going to practice self care because you don't even know what to do.

You are not in tune with yourself.

So how do you tune in with yourself?

It could be with many different activities that you can do.

Could be a little time in silence.

Could be a little walk by yourself.

Could be having a good conversation with a good friend that listens really well.

It can be having a phone call with your mom.

There are so,

It could be like petting your cat like I'm doing now.

And just like being with him in the present moment.

And that will allow you to really understand what do I need right now?

So connecting with yourself,

It's very,

Very important.

And sometimes the not having the time,

Being always very busy and not allowing ourselves to even discover what we need is a huge reason of why we don't practice self care.

Okay.

Another reason is not making yourself a priority.

There are always a thousand things that you have to do.

So you are always last.

And when that's the rule,

You will never find the time to practice self care because you will always find excuses and things to do because the world is full of things to do.

Never ending story.

Okay.

So that's why sometimes when you have to make yourself a priority,

That's when emotions are going to show up.

Who am I to do this?

I am being selfish.

My family needs me.

I have to work harder.

I have to make more money.

And I am guilty of that a lot.

I am guilty of that a lot.

I feel that way a lot of times.

It feels like I'm not doing the right thing,

But sometimes I know I have to do that self care because when I do it,

Guess what happens?

I feel motivated.

I have more energy.

I show up in a completely different way.

So for me,

That's necessary.

And I know it,

But so many times I still forget.

And I'm pretty sure we all do.

So not making yourself a priority is a huge reason too.

A big one,

Another big reason,

Not having practical strategies,

Okay,

To implement self care in your life.

So what does that mean?

That means that so many times we want to practice self care,

But we quite don't understand or don't know how to actually do it on a daily basis.

And when that happens,

That's when all the sessions that I do are all about.

They are all about helping you become more intentional,

Become more efficient,

Become more motivated,

So that you can actually become better at finding those strategies.

And there is a combination here of things that need to happen for you to be able to do that.

Like the first thing,

You have to be intentional and you have to reflect about what is really important in your life and what are the things that you have to do.

Okay.

The things that you truly have to do,

The things that you truly choose to do.

And there are obligations that you have to do.

There are things that you have to do,

Or you can delegate them if you can,

But there are other things that you can say no to.

So that's the first step,

Being intentional and clear about what do I want in my life and what I don't want anymore.

And then once you decide what you want,

How can I make those tasks more efficient?

Okay.

So that I can gain time.

So for example,

We all have to eat.

We all have to prepare food unless you can pay someone else to do it for you.

We all have to get dressed.

We all have to do laundry.

We all have to clean the house.

We all have to work.

We all have to manage our time.

So there are certain things that we all have to do unless you can pay someone else to do it or unless you are lucky enough to have a family member that does those things for you.

But if you can become more efficient at those things that you have to do every day,

Okay,

Then you can get started gaining time and gaining space to practice more self-care.

So that's and then you can start learning.

You can start learning how can I practice self-care?

What are the self-care activities that I want to see in my week,

In my life?

And then that's when you can start implementing everything that you learn in these sessions with me and somewhere else.

Okay.

Anytime you learn about something that you resonate with,

That's when you can implement that in your life in a way that is achieving that self-care.

Achievable,

Doable,

Simple,

And you can actually do it.

Okay.

So those strategies are really important.

And if you don't have those practical strategies,

Then you will never find the time or you will never find a way to practice self-care in an efficient way.

Another huge reason is avoidance.

Yes,

Avoiding yourself.

And this is something that so many times it's easier to stay busy and avoid being with yourself than to actually confront yourself,

To actually look inside and see what's inside.

Connect with yourself because most likely there are many things that you won't like,

Many things that are going to be difficult,

Many things that you need to accept,

Many things that you have to forgive yourself about.

Okay.

So when that happens,

Doing that work,

That internal work is very difficult sometimes.

So it's easier to stay busy doing things that you know,

Doing things that are familiar to you,

Than getting started with uncertain stuff that you quite don't know how to do yet.

And you know it's going to be emotional and painful,

But you know it's necessary.

Okay.

So avoidance is a huge reason of why some people choose not to practice self-care.

And I think we all choose that many times.

I myself sometimes find myself choosing something and then when I really think about it,

I know I'm choosing that to avoid something,

To avoid confronting something.

Okay.

So just become aware of that.

You don't have to do anything with it,

But self-care is start becoming aware of what's happening.

Start becoming aware of what you are feeling.

Start becoming aware of what you want.

And if you don't know what you want,

Start becoming aware of,

Wow,

I have no idea what I want.

So maybe I should get started testing things and discovering things to figure out what I like.

And that's totally okay.

That's a process too.

You have to allow yourself to be gentle,

Be gentle,

Be patient,

And just meet yourself where you are at.

Okay.

Meet yourself where you are at.

Don't try to be someone else.

Accept yourself for who you are right now and get started from that place to do the things that you want to be doing.

Second last reason I have for not practicing self-care is being a victim of circumstances and life.

Okay.

So being a victim of your circumstances means that you feel that you have no control over anything.

And life is just making all the choices for you and you are just going in the business of life with no direction.

And you are always like in that state and you don't like it and you are frustrated,

But you are always a victim.

Oh,

I cannot do anything or that happened to me or so when you find yourself in that victimhood mood,

That's something that you can work on.

And that's a huge reason of why you will not be able to practice self-care because you are not choosing.

You are being a victim of your circumstances.

Okay.

Can you change that?

Yeah,

You have to get started somewhere.

Again,

You have to meet yourself where you are at.

So it doesn't matter where you are at.

I'm pretty sure some of these reasons,

Some people are resonating with some,

Some people are resonating with all of them.

Some people may have different reasons,

But at the end of the day,

We all know where we are at and we have to meet ourselves there.

Okay.

And then the last reason that I have is not being intentional.

This is a huge one because if you are not intentional,

Being intentional means all the things that I just shared,

Right?

Really understanding what do I like?

What makes me feel well?

When can I do this thing?

Prioritizing that thing in your calendar,

Letting people know,

Putting yourself in the right environment.

So start testing things until something clicks.

Be gentle with yourself.

Understand where you are at right now and don't be impatient.

So all these things mean being intentional and all the sessions that I do here on Inside Timer and everything that I always share with you guys,

It's always to try and help you become more intentional.

Sometimes it's about time management.

Sometimes it's about decluttering your home.

Sometimes it's about meal planning.

So it doesn't matter the time you are at.

It doesn't matter the topic.

It's always,

There are all different entry points and you will find your entry point because the entry point can be different for each of you.

And when we are talking about self-care,

I have a course about self-care called Decluttering Your Mind with Self-Care.

Now,

Improving Your Mental Health with Self-Care.

That's the name of the course.

And in that course,

The second day,

I think it is,

I have a full session that talks about the key dimensions of self-care and how self-care affects every area of your life.

So there are different key dimensions in your life and self-care applies to all of them.

So that's a great starting point for some of you,

Becoming aware of how does self-care apply into every area of my life and how can I pursue self-care on each of them.

And some of you are going to feel inspired to practice more self-care into the meal planning or into the meditation or into the physical exercising body or into decluttering your home and creating your sanctuary.

It doesn't matter what you choose as long as what you are choosing energizes you.

Okay.

So those are some of the reasons that I had that I just made yesterday.

Guys,

Do you have or can you think of any other reasons that I haven't shared and are something that you are facing?

Please share so that I can,

I can include them.

So Sharon says,

I know I need to reflect on why my plans for self-care are not happening and tweak them.

Yeah,

Of course.

This is not going to be perfect from day one.

Self-care is going to be a journey.

Okay.

Self-care is going to look like first you are going to question like,

What do I need?

What do I want?

Okay.

And then after you are going to start implementing,

Testing things,

And then you have to reflect about how are those things working out?

Am I enjoying them?

Are they energizing me?

Am I in,

Yeah,

Do I,

Do I want to do them again?

And then you keep testing different things until you find what,

What stays with you.

Too much self-care and not enough decluttering.

Okay.

So Monica says too much self-care and not enough decluttering.

So how can we solve that?

Guys,

How do you think we can solve that unbalance of practicing too much self-care,

But not decluttering?

And supporting family members.

So we're talking about the environment.

You have family members that are not supporting you.

So Crystal,

If that's the case,

There are a few things that you can do here.

Okay.

You can still practice self-care without their support.

Okay.

So that's something that you can still can do.

You can start setting healthy boundaries about when you are practicing self-care and asking for them to support you.

If they don't,

After you clearly communicate what you need and they don't support you,

You can then remove yourself from that environment and place yourself in a different environment that is more supportive to you.

Sometimes I can be getting out of the house,

Going for a walk in a forest,

Going to a coffee place,

Going to the library,

Remove yourself,

Maybe going to your room and shutting the door and playing nice music and letting them know that they are not allowed to enter.

Whatever that is,

It doesn't matter as long as you find a way to put yourself in a different environment.

Okay.

Oh,

I'm divorcing.

I'm great now.

Okay.

So that was a boundary.

I don't want to be with you anymore.

So bye-bye.

That's funny.

Okay.

That's funny.

So Tina says,

I absolutely am the one who feels so overwhelmed that it paralyzes me.

So Tina,

If you are feeling so overwhelmed,

Then the first step for you,

Tina,

Is to be gentle with yourself and meet yourself where you are at.

Okay.

So don't try to do anything else.

Meet yourself in the overwhelm.

Be comfortable with it and then reflect about why am I feeling overwhelmed?

What is overwhelming me?

And then that's the awareness that needs to start rolling.

Okay.

Then you will start understanding the things that frustrate you,

The things that overwhelm you,

And then you are going to become aware of those things.

And then you're going to start deciding about,

Do I need these things in my life?

And if you do,

And you want them,

How can I approach them in a different way?

Is there a more efficient way for me to tackle these things so that they don't overwhelm me?

Can I get support?

Can I get help?

Can I change my mindset and my belief systems around these things?

So there are a lot of things that you could do,

But you have to meet yourself where you are at.

Okay.

So what else?

So Amy says,

A reason for me is lack of self-love and self-worth.

I am being very intentional about this now.

Amazing,

Amy.

We talk about that a lot.

And that's,

That's an emotional reason,

An emotional reason of why you are not practicing self-care,

Because maybe you have a belief that self-love means being selfish.

I don't deserve it.

Whatever you associate it to self-love,

Now it's coming back to you and it's not letting you practice self-care because that,

That belief system is real to you.

So that's why you have to meet yourself there.

You have to understand why you have that belief.

You have to understand how can I change this?

What is something more supportive that I want to create right now in my life?

And then start practicing things daily to create a different habit,

To create a different belief,

To create a different dynamic with yourself so that that self-love,

Self-respect,

Or whatever words you want to use that make you feel well,

Start happening on a daily basis.

And over time,

That will be your new norm.

That will be your new reality.

To actually be able to love yourself,

Respect yourself for who you are.

With your mistakes,

With your flaws,

With whatever you want to call it.

We are all perfect the way we are.

Sometimes we see ourselves differently.

That's our opinion.

It's not the reality.

The reality is that we all,

We all are what we are.

Some people say you are good,

You are bad.

Those are labels.

You are who you are.

You can label it good,

Bad,

Selfish,

Not selfish,

Whatever.

That's your,

That's your work.

But you are who you are.

Okay.

Uh,

Self-love doesn't mean me first.

It means me too.

A quote I heard.

Paula,

Paula,

I love that.

Self-love doesn't mean me first.

Of course it doesn't.

Self-love means taking care of yourself the same way that you take care of other people.

Self-love means recharging your batteries so that you can show up for other people with more intention,

With more love.

Self-love means filling up your cup so that you can give to everybody else.

Okay.

Self-love means understanding your boundaries,

Understanding the things that make you feel well and the things that drain you and respecting yourself for that.

Self-love means accepting who you are and accepting your truth and accepting the things that you want to do without having to apologize to anyone else.

Okay.

There are so many things that self-love means,

But of course it doesn't mean being selfish and it doesn't mean that you are neglecting someone else when you are practicing self-love.

I would say it's quite the opposite.

When you practice self-love,

Everybody else is going to benefit from it.

Okay.

So,

Self-love means accepting self-love.

Okay.

So,

Rocío says,

I overwhelm myself overthinking,

Then I don't want to do anything.

Rocío,

Thank you for sharing.

So you overwhelm yourself overthinking and then you don't want to do anything.

So this is a mental reason of why you don't practice self-care because your mind is going and going and going and going and then you become overwhelmed and then you just don't know what to do.

So you are lacking a practical strategy that is easy to do.

So I will say that working on quiet in your mind can be something really helpful to you.

Just spending a few time,

A few,

Start with a few seconds in silence and then maybe a minute and then every day start increasing that a minute and a half,

Two minutes of just silence time.

You can listen to music and then just try to keep your mind just relaxed.

Okay.

And then I will also encourage you to do a brain dump.

It's called.

It's basically having a piece of paper and then dumping on that piece of paper everything that is going on in your head,

In your mind.

Okay.

The main things,

Not the details,

The main things so that you can see everything in a piece of paper.

And then when you can do that,

You will feel that you are decluttering your mind.

You will feel that then you can see things from the outside.

You will then feel capable of prioritizing,

Of choosing the things that are really important to you and necessarily right now.

And it doesn't mean that you have to let go of the rest,

But right now you are focusing on one,

Two or three things.

And that's going to help you start calming your mind and start taking more intentional action and start taking very little action.

Okay.

Action that you can complete.

So if you want to meditate,

Meditate for 10 seconds.

If you want to drink more water,

Start drinking one glass of water extra.

If you want to go to the gym,

Go to the gym for 10 minutes or set up the space and do five minutes of gymnastics at home.

Try to start really,

Really small so that you can do it.

Okay.

I hope that I hope that helps.

Uh,

Britt says,

I have such a hard time sticking to new habits.

I start,

Then something throws me off.

Example,

Sickness,

Extra busy,

Weak,

Et cetera.

Then it feels hard to start over again.

Britt,

That's normal.

When you,

When we change habits,

There is a period of time,

A period of transitioning time.

Okay.

Where you are going to face resistance.

What is that resistance?

That resistance is the familiarity that you had.

Okay.

All the momentum that the old habit has,

It's kicking in on automatic mode.

So you don't think about it.

And the old habit is on autopilot,

Just working in the background.

Now you are trying to create a new habit.

Creating a new habit requires a lot of intention and presence.

Okay.

You have to be present,

Reminding yourself of what you want to do,

Changing what you,

How you do things,

Reminding yourself the next day,

Doing it,

And it requires daily action.

Okay.

So you have to remind yourself,

You have to make sure that you do it.

Then you have to force yourself to,

To do it against that momentum of the old habit.

When you do that for a few days,

A few weeks,

That new habit is going to have momentum,

Hopefully enough momentum that is going to be overriding the old habit.

Okay.

But sometimes that takes time.

Sometimes it's normal that if you have a day where you are too busy,

You are tired because you are not present and intentional as you were before.

Of course,

The old habit is going to kick in because that doesn't take effort from you.

That just happens on autopilot.

That's why you have to go back to it.

You have to meet yourself where you are.

Okay.

I had a great,

An awful day yesterday.

I had an awful week yesterday.

So last week,

And I dropped the boat.

That's fine.

Today's a new day and I can go back to what I was doing.

So you go back with it,

With intention,

With strength,

And then you keep trying and trying and trying and something will set you off again.

But the more you try,

The more you are going to start building that momentum that you are going to need.

Okay.

So it is normal for that to happen.

So please don't be hard on yourself.

You didn't fail.

Okay.

You did not fail.

You just had something happen that put you off track.

And now you have an opportunity to go back on track.

Okay.

So what else guys?

Sorry.

The chat is going like crazy.

So I'm sorry if I'm missing yours.

Okay.

I had a big shift when I started thinking of small focus decluttering as self-care.

Thank you,

Rosemary.

I love that.

So Angie says Emilio has done so many live recordings.

You can go listen to Unhabit,

Self-Care,

Et cetera,

That are so inspiring.

Put some headphones and get started.

Thank you so much,

Angie.

Yeah.

I have uploaded all the recordings that I had to Inside Timer and to my podcast.

So guys,

Now you are going to have access to everything.

So I hope that that helps you.

Okay,

Guys,

Any other reasons why you feel that you are not practicing self-care that we didn't cover yet?

Any other reasons of why you feel that you are not practicing self-care that we haven't covered yet?

Injury.

Okay.

Injury.

I will say that injury is a,

I will say that that's a lack of energy.

That's lack of health.

And that hopefully is a temporary state of your life where you are injured and you have to accept the new norm.

That happens to all of us.

Sometimes we get injured and we are limited.

So we have to be gentle with ourselves and we have to meet ourselves where we are at and do the best we can with what we got.

Okay.

So it's very,

Very important for all of us to know what our edge is.

Meaning you know when you are pushing yourself enough to feel uncomfortable and to make progress,

But not too much that you are feeling overwhelmed and you are draining yourself.

So we all have a different edge and you have to find your edge.

So when you are injured,

When you are lacking health,

Lacking energy,

Lacking motivation,

You need to find what that edge is for you and just meet yourself there.

Okay.

And sometimes being injured,

It's a great excuse for you to relax and to maybe do something that you were not able to do before.

Maybe it's just being on a more relaxed state,

Like not doing as much.

So embracing that injury in a way that is going to nurture you rather than drain you and feel upset about it.

That's my two cents.

I know when you get injured,

It's frustrating.

It's frustrating not being able to do what you want to do,

But that's the reality and you can be frustrated or you can choose to have a different approach to it.

And sometimes it takes time for you to accept it and that's normal.

But when you do,

Then you can thrive in that condition too.

So you don't have to be limited.

You can do other things.

You can do low energy self.

So Amy says,

Mental illness,

Poor mental health,

Not having enough help outside professional support,

Feeling like you should be able to do it yourself.

So these are a few things that you have shared here,

Amy.

So poor mental health and mental illness,

I will say that self-care can really,

Really help you improve that condition.

Like really,

Really help you.

That's a mental and emotional reason.

And then professional support.

It's an environment reason,

I will say,

And then feeling like you should be able to do it yourself.

That's an emotional reason.

That's something that you are imposing on yourself.

You feel that you should be able to do something that maybe you can,

But maybe you cannot.

So you are the one who needs to judge,

Like,

Do I need help here?

What kind of help is best for me right now?

And how can I take the action that is required from me here?

So that's those are three different reasons.

Okay.

What else,

Guys?

Summer says,

Years of overwhelm and lack of self-care and I ended up with chronic fatigue symptom.

Now I don't have the stamina to do anything but self-care.

So Summer,

You made a really great point.

And the point is that we don't practice self-care when we are feeling bad.

Okay?

I mean,

We can,

But it's very difficult to practice self-care when we are feeling bad,

When we don't have energy,

When we are suffering with mental health,

When we are feeling stressed,

Overwhelmed,

Etc.

The key is to design your week in a way that self-care is integrated in there.

The key is to discover what is your energy cycle,

What is your creativity cycle,

What are the things that you truly need to do,

And then create a week that flows nicely to you,

That combines the things that you need to feel well.

Okay?

When you do that,

You are keeping away the doctor,

You are keeping away the mental health,

You are keeping away everything else.

Okay?

When you drop the ball and there is unbalance,

Then those things can keep in very quickly.

Okay?

So self-care can be done anytime,

Of course,

But I think the secret is when you are feeling well,

Maintain that wellness.

Become aware that the self-care is what is giving you that wellness that you need.

Okay?

The self-care is giving you the energy that you need.

The self-care is giving you the creativity that you need.

The self-care is giving you the love that you need.

The self-care is giving you how you show up in the world,

The job that you have,

How you interact with people,

How good or bad of a father or mother or boss or neighbor you are.

Okay?

Self-care is going to help you with all of that.

So make sure that you can,

You just practice self-care even when you are feeling well.

Okay?

Because self-care is not only when you are not feeling well,

Self-care can be done anytime.

And I feel that self-care is something that can happen daily.

So what words could I use to respond to the sarcastic remark,

I forgot,

It's all about you,

I tend to shut down,

Freeze.

Okay?

So what words could I use to respond to the sarcastic remark,

I forgot,

It's all about you,

I tend to shut down and freeze.

Erin,

Is this happening with a specific person?

Is this happening with your family members?

Yeah,

Because I feel that when something like this happens,

When someone is commenting or making judgmental comments about what you are doing,

I think a few things need to happen here.

A clear conversation about what you are doing,

It's necessary.

You listening to why they are frustrated and their expectations about you,

It's also necessary.

And then once you understand why is that person upset,

And why am I upset,

And what can we do to meet in the middle.

And if you want guys to do an Imago dialogue,

Erin,

You said your husband,

I will invite you to explore Imago dialogue,

We did one here.

I think there is a recording that you can access Imago dialogue,

It's called intentional dialogue.

It's a beautiful tool to allow each of you to express how you feel,

And to really validate each other's feelings.

Once you get to that point,

And everybody feels heard and understood,

That's a great place to get started deciding like,

What can we do so that we both feel well here?

What can we do so that we can each support each other in our needs,

And then you can work towards finding a happy balance.

I have to do that with my wife a lot because we find friction,

We find frustrations.

We have so many things shared that we need to communicate about.

And so many times frustration arises,

We don't feel well,

We feel it's not fair,

Or we feel we are doing too much.

So when that happens,

Communication needs to flow,

And everybody needs to understand each other's points,

And each other's feelings at that moment.

And then once you are there,

You can then brainstorm about how can we make this work in a different way,

Or what can we try to do differently here.

Okay,

I hope that helps but honestly,

Check out Imago dialogue,

Intentional dialogue technique,

And that's going to help you guys find a way to communicate with more clarity and with more respect.

Okay.

Yeah,

And there are,

I have a recording that you can listen to but there are also lots of videos that you can,

If you just type Imago dialogue on YouTube,

You will find lots of examples there so it doesn't have to be from me,

It could be from someone else.

And there is also a book that you can read about it.

So,

Yeah,

That could be a great tool.

Both people need to be on board though.

Okay,

Both people need to be on board.

The first word is Imago,

I M A G O.

Okay,

So guys,

To finish today's session.

What I want you to take from today's session is that there are many reasons of why we choose sometimes not to practice self care.

Okay.

They are all valid at the time,

But they are all questionable,

So you can question all of them,

And you can get started designing something different.

Okay,

I will invite you to create your own self care list.

So take a few minutes of silence with yourself.

And then have pen and paper and just allow yourself to write down a few things that you can do that will make you feel well.

That's what I call having your self care list.

Okay,

Once you have those things,

Then think about how can I integrate it in my day to day,

And I will invite you to do an exercise called creating your ideal week.

Okay,

There is a recording for that exercise too.

I did a whole session on that,

But I feel that by you first becoming aware of things that you want to try or things that you know that make you feel well,

And then thinking about how can I integrate this in my day to day life,

And how can I create a week that nurtures me,

A week that includes the activities that make me feel well.

And then once you have that,

It's a matter of you trying,

Testing,

Trying,

Testing,

Reflecting,

Trying,

Testing,

Reflecting,

And always be really gentle with yourself,

Always be patient,

And always remind yourself that you are already doing a lot,

You are already trying,

You're already learning,

Testing new things,

And that's a lot of progress guys,

It is a lot of progress.

So just be patient and be consistent.

Okay,

Every day,

Do something for yourself.

Doesn't have to be a huge thing.

One minute here,

One minute there.

10 seconds here,

Five seconds there.

I promise you that if you do that throughout the day,

You are going to notice a huge improvement,

And you're going to start loving yourself more,

Feeling better,

And having more energy.

Okay,

So guys,

Thank you so much for showing up today.

Thank you so much for all your engagement in the chat,

I love it.

I am sorry if I didn't get to your comment.

They are flying through the screen so I cannot see all of them,

But I hope that,

I hope that you got something from today's session.

Thank you so much for being here guys.

And if you can make it to one of those workshops that I announced before I have two upcoming workshops that you can take on Inside Timer.

And if you are listening to the recording,

I will drop two links below.

Okay.

Thank you so much.

Start practicing self care.

And let's just transition out of the session.

I want to allow you a few seconds to just breathe,

And just close your eyes and just relax for just five to 10 seconds.

Okay,

I'm gonna play my singing ball again,

And I want you to allow yourself just a few seconds of silence.

Thank you so much guys for allowing yourself this time,

And for doing this practice with me.

Have a wonderful rest of your day.

And I hope to see you on Thursday.

Okay.

Adios.