What if so much of what you are already doing is an act of self-care?
What if you already love yourself more than you think?
In the self-awareness field,
There can be a lot of focus on self-care,
Self-love,
Self-worth.
And whilst it's useful to look at this and work on this if we have any past traumas or any particular beliefs standing in our way of living a happy and fulfilled life,
Sometimes there is so much focus on needing to be loving and caring towards ourself all the time and that we need to do in a particular way.
And what I want to invite you to consider with this audio is to recognize all the ways that you are loving and caring for yourself already.
It doesn't need to be about perfect morning routines,
Doing yoga every day,
Sitting in lotus position every day,
Meditating in the same spot every single day.
Whilst particular routines can be helpful and having some structure with that can be beneficial,
Being consistent and seeing the changes over time.
By overlooking all of the other daily things that we're doing that in the beginning perhaps we might not consider as self-care,
But shifting the focus and starting to open up to all the many ways that we care for ourselves and all the many things that we do that has a knock-on effect on our health and well-being can help us realize that actually we are loving and caring for ourselves so much more than we realize.
And when we expand the perspective in this way we open up to deeper,
Deeper self-acceptance,
Self-tenderness and even more self-love.
So first of all let's just clarify what I mean by self-care and self-love.
So self-care are the actions,
The little things that we do or maybe they're big acts that we do,
Actions that we do to care for ourselves in some way.
And this could be something physical or it could actually mean setting a boundary,
Being clear on our intentions and our values in life.
There are many different forms of this and self-love is our ability to receive that.
How much are we opening up to that and receiving that care that we give to ourselves?
How do we view ourselves?
And a common misconception is that self-love is somewhere that you get to and then once you're there you love yourself all the time and that's not necessarily the case.
Self-love is a practice,
It's a journey and it's full of twists and turns and ups and downs.
There'll be moments where you feel more loving towards yourself and there'll be times where you don't.
That's all part of the process and it's all valid.
So what if it's not just bubble baths and massages that count as self-care?
What if it's all of the daily actions,
Even washing up the dishes,
Taking out the rubbish,
Hoovering the house,
Doing the laundry,
Going to work?
So many things can be seen as an act of self-care.
You see what meaning we attach to things transforms our experience of things.
So if we touch the meaning taking out the rubbish creates a healthy,
Welcoming,
Clean environment in the home,
Therefore has a positive impact on your well-being,
Then taking the rubbish out is actually an act of self-care.
Going to the shops and buying food,
Hoovering the house,
Fixing something in the house,
Choosing to take a moment to pause and be just to take a few deep breaths,
Dancing,
Writing thoughts down so they don't hang around in your head.
There are so many different things that we do day to day and each and every one of those has an impact on our health and well-being and if it has this positive impact then that is an act of self-care.
So it's opening up the perspective,
Expanding the perspective and recognizing how is this an act of self-care.
Take a look at all the different things that you do in your day.
Notice how you are caring for yourself in so many ways already.
Now if the inner critic pops up that negative self-talk which it often does,
Oh I need to do more,
I need to be more,
I'm not doing enough,
I should,
I have to,
I need to,
I must do.
These are what we call model operators in NLP,
These words that pile on the pressure.
Often this comes from influence from society or childhood beliefs that we picked up along the way,
Believing that we need to do things in a certain way or be a certain way in order to be all accepted and this is the same for self-care.
It can be a really interesting process to explore what are your beliefs around self-love and self-care.
A quick way to do this is to start off the beginning of sentences and then notice what pops up in your mind as you fill in that phrase.
So for example,
Self-care is and notice what comes up in your mind straight away afterwards.
People who care for themselves are and notice what pops up in your mind afterwards.
To care for myself I notice what pops up afterwards.
Are there any limiting beliefs,
Any negative beliefs that pop up?
Beliefs that perhaps you can expand and challenge and rewrite the story and recognize that you are caring for yourself in so many ways already.
So just take a moment to reflect on all the things that you do in your day,
Cooking a meal,
Tidying up,
Going about your work,
Sitting down on the bus or the train,
There are so many different things that people do and each and every one of those could be seen as an act of self-care.
I'm choosing to sit down for a moment and to feel supported by this chair.
Well I'm choosing to clean up my kitchen,
To create a welcoming environment that feels good to me.
What story are we attaching to things and how can you transform that story so it becomes a story of self-care?
So if negative self-talk comes up just notice it,
Get curious,
Know that often underneath negative self-talk is simply the inner child looking to fulfill a human basic need and then retrace your thoughts back,
Rewrite the story,
Shift the words,
Expand the perspective rather than oh I have to take the rubbish out,
That can become I'm creating a wonderful space for myself rather than oh I have to cook dinner can become I'm choosing to nourish myself and care for myself right now rather than oh I have to hoover the house,
I have to clean the house can become it's an act of self-care to care for my home which then cares for me.
So get curious,
How many ways are you caring for yourself already?
I'd love to hear your shares and from this perspective notice how things feel a little lighter,
The pressure eases,
It's not about perfect morning routines,
It's about recognizing how every daily action can become a nourishing act of self-care.
