Selfgentleness During Holidays- Live(Talk & Practice) 18 Nov

Hi everyone!

Welcome at my weekly Friday life.

My name is Femke Bucker,

One of the meditation teachers here at Insight Timer and every Friday I am here to speak with you about a specific topic.

And that topic is always you.

It's always about you.

You and your world.

You interacting with your world.

You being kind to yourself.

You being gentle to yourself.

And so I talk a little bit,

You can ask me some questions about the topic and then I guide you in a meditation that will help you to not just understand what I was just telling you about,

But to also experience for yourself what it means to you uniquely.

Because you are a unique individual,

Like every being on this planet,

Planet earth.

So my name is Femke Bucker and I'm residing in the Netherlands,

As you might hear from my funny accent.

With me it's 9 30 p.

M central European time.

I would love to hear who you are and where you are in the world.

And the topic of today is self gentleness during the holidays.

If you are in the United States then a big holiday is coming up next week,

Right?

And I have never experienced a thanksgiving in America.

I mean a proper thanksgiving among Americans.

I had for some time a tradition because my oldest daughter really would love to do something about thanksgiving.

So you know we made our own kind of thanksgiving here in the Netherlands,

Which is always fun and tasty.

But I've never actually been at an actual thanksgiving dinner.

It's a wish of me to once do that.

So just that you know,

Americans.

Besides that I've seen a lot of movies about thanksgiving dinners.

And of course in movies something has to happen.

But if I can believe those there is always some kind of tension.

Whether it's between some family members,

Whether it's between the whole family,

Whether it is about which family to go to.

There's only one thanksgiving day.

Things like that.

And I can relate to that because of course I know other holidays.

Because holidays,

Whether you know,

Whatever background you have,

Whatever holidays are,

They're always kind of filled with some expectations.

Expectations about how the day would be,

How we would love the day to be,

How we will interact.

And because we're all unique individuals with our own preferences,

Our own manuals,

Our own temperaments.

Sometimes that doesn't jive so well and that can create some tensions.

It doesn't have to be.

There can be also really really lovely holidays.

But honestly I think the best holidays are always those where expectations are low,

Intentions are loving and we will just see where we're going to get.

Generally that works best in my experience.

So self-gentleness is of course an important part.

Can be an important tool for you to relate to those holidays,

Whatever holiday it is that you have in mind,

From a way where you will have more fun,

You will feel relaxed,

It will be easy,

It will be pleasant,

It will be good.

So that's my intention to speak about.

Let me just check who's here and whether or not someone has maybe something to say or to ask specifically about this topic.

Hi Angela,

Evie,

Luanne,

Mary,

Cherry,

Darcy,

Maureen,

Victoria,

Kathy,

Mona,

Irico,

Mel.

So many familiar names.

Lizzie,

Lovely that you're all here.

Thank you so much for being here.

Great.

I so love that every week you know you all you guys just wherever you are in the world you're just popping up here telling me hi,

Sending me hearts,

Being with me,

Listening to me,

Meditating with me.

Today this morning I checked my teacher's dashboard and I saw that I had 8 000 followers on Inside Timer.

Exactly 8 000 and I thought wow how many are those?

I remember that in 2019 I just started my teacher's profile with just two meditations and I was really happy when I had the first hundred followers and now I'm already on 8 000 and it's still growing because when I just logged in I saw there are already many more.

So I'm really grateful for that and then I thought let me just check how many times have all my guided meditations and you know everything in my track list including these recorded lives how many times have these been played and oh wow it was well over 350 000 plays.

Amazing.

That's I mean just the idea that more than 350 000 times people have listened to my work all over the world.

I'm so honored and humbled by it.

So yeah thank you all because I know a lot of you have a lot to do with that.

A lot of you have been those listeners.

A lot of you are those people who are showing up here every week supporting my work,

Listening to me,

Cheering me on,

Believing in me.

So thank you so much.

I'm really really grateful for that.

I think it's the spirit of thanksgiving that is here don't you think guys?

All right so Victoria says Friday nights at this hour is devoted to you Femke and all other meditators that are joining you.

Well thank you so much.

Oh thank you Kathy.

Thank you so much and Cherry is sending me 8 000 moons.

Thank you Cherry.

I wonder what that will do with app and flow though.

Must be really spring tight.

All right let's start guys.

So self-gentleness during the holidays and if now or during the talk a question will pop up about you know how you can be self-gentle during the holidays or you have a specific experience just let me know and I will reflect upon it now or just after after the meditation.

So let me start with my definition of self-gentleness.

So and that's mainly for those who are new here but you know cannot harm to hear my definition again and again which is radically accepting yourself as a most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness.

Yeah so why self-gentleness?

Because just a thought that you could be gentle to yourself is an easy thought.

If I would ask you to love yourself or to be compassionate towards yourself it might be possible it but it feels more like a task something that you would have to work for while being gentle with yourself that sounds feasible right and then I come with a definition and then there are those two words that make it a little bit more might make a little bit more tough namely radically and consistently.

So what do I mean with that?

With consistently I mean that even in the face of failure even when you mess up things even when you think that you really really doing something so so wrong that you will remain gentle with yourself and that's what I and that's the hard thing I know.

I mean it's not for nothing that I came up with this concept of self-gentleness it was something that I discovered on my own path to becoming more gentle with myself it's just that I discovered what it exactly was but it doesn't mean I'm a master at it it means that I'm getting better trained to be self-gentle and that I remember faster that I can but also I have moments where I'm not so self-gentle but it's a process it will become easier and the the period of time that you're not self-gentle will become shorter and shorter you will be not gentle and start to immediately recognize that hey this is not the way so how can you be self-gentle with yourself even when everything is failing or when you are doing things wrong well generally we would get angry at ourselves or tough with ourselves or we beat ourselves up because we believe that we then train ourselves to do better next time but is that really true is it really going to be better next time when you beat yourself up or alternatively if you were kind and gentle to yourself might you then feel more at ease have the feeling that you're learning more and that next time you might not mess up but also knowing that if you do it's okay so that's the the thought behind that self-gentleness so I am hearing a beep here you guys do you hear beep just checking no okay great so that's just me then no beep great I'm happy that that means it's just in my ear and you guys have a good sound that's important thank you for checking so then we have the radically radically I mean that even in the face of expectations of others that you manage to stay self-gentle which means that sometimes you have to disappoint other people and sometimes the disappointment of other people is not even a real disappointment because it was all in your head many expectations that we have from ourselves vis-a-vis others are not so often their expectations but it's it's our own product it's our own story it's the the the thing that we think that we have to do because otherwise they get in trouble otherwise they will not love us otherwise they will they will they will have a bad time they will get angry they will be sad but the beautiful thing is when you become radically self-gentle you learn to tune in with yourself and to actually feel what it is that you need right now in that interaction with another and and sometimes that is just plainly choosing yourself choosing your own needs putting those before the deeds of others and that might sound really selfish but it's not it's not when you need to first take care of you so that you can be there for others that's a really important part of that radical self-gentleness so and I think we can move on from there about these holidays because like I just said we have a lot of expectations about the holidays we want it to be cozy we want it to be lovely we want it to be nice and friendly we want everyone that we love around us and have a really really great time and we have all kinds of ideas of how that would work out how we want to shape that and you know sometimes we do sometimes we actually manage to do that and some of us are also really lucky to have those folks around us that really resonate with our image of a holidays where you are organized or that you where you're visiting them but more often than not there are some parts that make it a little bit more difficult so how can you remain self-gentle what is what does that mean to be self-gentle during holidays during get-togetherings with other people where you really really are investing a lot to making it special well I can tell you a lot of things about the stories that you tell yourself about how the holiday should be that is something that you could contemplate what are your expectations of those holidays and okay are you able to meet those expectations is it really feasible to meet those expectations and if you can do these expectations resonate with others so these are of course things that you could think about and the way to get to those thoughts and not just to get into the same pathways every year and sometimes running into the same problems every year is tuning in with yourself creating those moments where you can actually connect with who you are and what you need in the moment and how you would like to shape things so I will tell you again I spoke about this more often but there are a few beautiful practices in my track list that you could do to train yourself into self-gentleness because if you if you intend to become more self-gentle it's not just from one moment to the other that you will be self-gentle it's something that you need to practice it's something that you need to try out and to experience that it works for you so what is really nice is so after the live if you go to my profile here on insight timer you click on the link you will see on the top that there is a link to a free self-gentleness checklist and you can download that and it's it's a it's a it's a list with 19 daily practices that you could pick and choose from and then you could even check on which days you have have used them so you have an overview you don't have to do them all 19 especially not all 19 at once but you just take a look and see which one of those feels good feels nice okay I'll do that and if you like it and just continue with doing that or you look for a different one so it's it's really you know a mix and play made for you to start practicing those things so that's one then in my track list there are three practices that I think are really really great to start living a life of self gentleness the first one is an evening practice it's called self-gentleness evening practice this is one that you do when you're already in bed ready to go to sleep so you did everything lights are off and you want to go to sleep and then you do this practice it's just a few minutes you can start first by listening to it so it's guided and then you know when you when you get a gist of it you can do it by yourself and what it is simply is by in your bed with your eyes closed thinking of three things that you're grateful for that happened that day or that week or things that are in your life and it doesn't matter if you think of three things three different things every time or that you think of three the same things every time the most important part is that you use those things to cultivate to experience that feeling of gratefulness within and why that is because gratefulness is a really really healthy feeling it's one of those emotions that really helps us to feel to perceive well-being and gratefulness has been researched already a lot and so this is a practice from the the field of positive psychology where also clinical psychologists suggest to their clients to have a daily gratefulness practice where you focus daily on let's say three things where you're grateful for and to just immerse yourself in that feeling and if you find it hard you just to think of it you could write it up but this practice is in bed so try to just think about those things think about those feelings think about those people that you're grateful for whatever it is and then when you've done that one two minutes then you will set an intention for the next day and that is that tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a day filled with new opportunities new possibilities and that everything that you brought with you this day will just dissipate you will reset yourself by sleeping and when you wake up it will be a new day why is that so important well many of us we have busy days with a lot of things on our head sometimes worries and then we go to bed and we take those things with us and then we fall asleep which sometimes takes more time than we would love and then we wake up we just pick up where we left off and with this practice you break into sleep and then you wake up with this practice you're breaking that you're breaking that because you're focusing on gratefulness first and then you're setting a new intention and then the next day it might be really one minute that you remember that and then it dissipates but if you do so every day let's say for a month then it will become way easier to wake up and actually start to experience that it is a new day and there comes in the second practice it's called self-gentleness waking up with a loving morning practice oral or alternatively i have also have a little bit longer practice which is called a morning uh um um more wake up to the morning without worries no something like that sorry i forgot to look up the title it's like a morning practice starting your morning without worries i think that's the title um but that's a longer one so if you want to keep it short then wake up with a loving morning practice and what you do there you're still in bed maybe you have still still even if your eyes closed and then you greet yourself you say good morning darling i'm so happy to see you how are you are you going to listen to your own answer whether it's out loud or in your head it doesn't matter and then you ask yourself what it is that you would like to do right now what is it that you like to do right now and then you again genuinely listen to the dancer and the dancer differs from day to day one day it will be i want to snooze a little bit longer and other days i want to sleep longer another day it might be you i feel like coffee i'm going to jump out of bed another day meditate first another day it will be wake up the kids and sing a song for them jump out of my bed run to my work i feel like working it can be anything everything is okay and then you try to honor that and i know sometimes you cannot sometimes you feel like sleeping more but you have to get up that's okay then in that case you just promise yourself you will get back to this need later on so you will take a nap during lunch or a walk in the woods during lunch or you will go to bed early that evening or you will have take out dinner rather than cooking that night whatever it is that you can give yourself that rest that you have just connected to so if you can you honor the need but if you cannot honor it immediately then you promise yourself to honor it at a later moment and really become aware of that you were doing that also this the first day will be just one minute and then you will forget about it but if you practice this every morning and around a month of doing so you will feel significantly different and the most important part of these two practices is that you not only prime yourself for a different kind of day with more perceived well-being and less suffering less worries you also train yourself to tune in and to actually feel what is going on what's going on in your body if it's tired or not if it has a pain or not if it needs some rest or not to tune in with your mind knowing what kind of thoughts are there are those worrisome thoughts can you change them can you alter them to feelings of gratefulness feelings of happiness you can but you have to train that and um and tuning into your heart what's going on what are the emotions are you sad are you happy what is it that your heart needs does it need some extra attention does it need to connect to someone does it need to express itself and all this helps you to connect with who you truly are your soul your inner being that wise voice within that knows so well who you are and what you can and what you want and that's the beauty of self-gentleness with self-gentleness you become more gentle and you get more in tune with yourself and you discover so many beautiful things about yourself that can start to flourish then third practice is called self-gentleness tuning in it's a practice of a few minutes you can do it anywhere every moment during the day and if you think you don't have time yes you do go sit in the restroom a few minutes no one will miss you when you're in the restroom and you can do it that's a great way to do it but you can also do it behind your desk you can do it in your bed you can make it when you're in your commute you can make it when you are standing in line and waiting whatever moment it's a simple practice of around three minutes where you just close your eyes and you tune in to feel your body your mind your heart your soul and to listen what it has to say just what i said now and it will become easier to do so so these practices are part of your you know your instruments to become self-gentle and everything together it's not even 15 minutes i think it's all together around 10 11 minutes a day together combined right and it will really really set you up for creating days that will feel better will feel easier and setting yourself up for a life where you honor who you are and what it is that you need whatever that is so but i know next week it's thanksgiving for the americans and uh haduka christmas they're already around the corner so yeah um you might be not enough not enough time to practice that self-gentle doesn't really get that tuning in so what do you do well still try those things the moment you start to practice with tuning in you open up yourself for more tuning in and yeah sometimes you encounter there are things that are maybe a little bit disappointing maybe you discover that you're not so much looking forward to the holidays this year maybe you discover that you would rather you know stay home cocoon and binge watch some beautiful series with some takeouts why not you know and maybe you feel you cannot do that and that's also okay but then you can acknowledge that this is what you want and maybe it is throwing that an enormous christmas party and inviting everyone you know and just having fun and dance on the table you know everything is possible um everything is possible to acknowledge that you need it to actually do so might be sometimes a challenge especially when the time is short but that's also okay because by acknowledging what you need you open yourself up for finding a little bit different ways where you come closer to your needs than you would have been before you know self-gentleness is also it's not perfectionism it's not having everything like you think of with your head no it's it's more fluid it's gentle it's moving it's flexible it's caring loving gentle that is what it is all right so what i want to do in a minute i want to guide you in a meditation that will help you to get relaxed to find silence and then i'm going to help you to envision to understand what is this holiday that you pick you can pick whatever holiday you like to to to work with how you would like to shape that and then we're going to hold on to that image with gentleness not with perfectionism and you're going to help yourself to reach at least the feeling of that that way of celebrating your holidays but before i start i'm just going to take a look if there is um if there are any questions mel says for me taking a time out during the holidays helps what i needed that's an excellent practice mel yeah i'm really happy that you're that you're telling me telling us that when you one of the conditions for that is that you realize what's going on and with that you need a time out so often we get stuck in the dynamics that are going on but so learn from mel and is the moment you feel those dynamics are there allow yourself to just retreat to take that time out indeed go sit in the restroom go take a walk go pet a cat or a dog you know have a talk with the little kid little kids are generally free of expectations they just want to have fun do those things that you need for the time that's a great tip thank you so much mel um so mary says introverts find the holidays overwhelming everywhere yes mary and i'm so happy that you um acknowledge that you're an introvert and that you that you find holidays overwhelming because if that is the case it would it would be really good to ask yourself so how can i shape my holidays that they're not overwhelming if that means that you have to that you will have to celebrate um a christmas a few times more with nice cozy dinners with those people you want to celebrate it with but they will not be overwhelming they will just be great and maybe they're in january i had with one of my best friends who has a restaurant and was always working christmas we always celebrated some kind of christmasy evening half of january really fun really great and and it really felt like christmas even though it was gentry you know there are those solutions if you just check in with yourself what you need and i'm sure you find your own solutions even better than mine when you just acknowledge hey i'm an introvert everything overwhelms me i don't want that what can i do to not let it overwhelm me um victoria says that you really love those tracks well thank you and terry also thank you so much angela will be working the holidays well that's also a solution unless you don't like that of course angela um right so terry says i inform the people around me during the holidays that i need my meditations in the morning people respect that when you inform them sometimes i couldn't do as first thing in the morning but i took the time after breakfast or sometimes later on the day but i was gentle with myself and it felt good that's wonderful cherry that's really knowing what you need communicating being clear about that and that's also one of the beautiful things the moment that you are unapart no i will not get the word out of my mouth the moment you don't feel that you need to apologize anymore for um your needs and you just communicate them kindly then very often they are respected and if not then that's their problem but generally people respect it when you are really yeah like you said i this is what i need and this is what i'm going to do beautiful louan says make the practice a gift to yourself no it's a beautiful one louan thank you so much that's beautiful wisdom merce i remember around last christmas we had a life here because i joined for my parents it might have been boxing day yes last year last year i think that was boxing day yes absolutely that was box on boxing day i had a life yes that's correct yeah i forgot about that um going for a bath is good nobody can come in absolutely lock the door says victoria yes evie says i feel overwhelmed by it all as i don't have the health or energy to do it all but i always try my best as not to disappoint anyone oh evie yes so um a first beautiful step might be is to um to really choose to have the holidays only with those people that are closest to you that you really want to have with you and then to sit with them and explain to them what is going on that you don't have that energy at the moment you don't have the health at that moment to create this beautiful um holiday and you could even tell them how you would like to shape it but that you are unable to do so and then my dear av you can reach out to them and you can ask them would you be so kind to help me to create together a holiday that we will all look back to as something great and let's make it easy for ourselves let's not be in the kitchen for one day or two days or even three hours why don't we you know make something that might doesn't sound so christmassy but will allow us to have this loving caring moment together which will represent christmas for us or whatever the holidays so i think it would be really really great if you could reach out to those loved ones and ask them for help ask them to make that holly holiday memorable but also easy for everyone it doesn't mean that someone else has to pick it up and work work really really hard but to join forces and take it easy together i so wish that for you evie that you will you will get through the holidays that way so allen says what if you have bad memories of past holidays that says of past holidays that's a really good question allen yeah because i understand when you have bad memories it's kind of an expectation right it's kind of an of an almost self-fulfilling prophecy that those things will happen again and i understand that those bad memories might be in the way however those are stories about the past if you chew on the stories about the past you bring them in the now so you bring them with you and those stories can get food those stories can get fat those stories can start to live their lives again so the key would be that you start to allow yourself to leave those stories in the past and i know it's easier said than done i know but you could start with the question to yourself do i really need to remember those bad things on the holidays or am i going to allow myself a new holiday it's a little bit that evening practice might be a really great practice for you where you first focus on the gratefulness which will helps you to detach from bad memories worries whatever is going on and then set the intention that it will be new it will be different there will be all possibilities unless you bring the old story with you again and i'm not telling you this to blame you remember i'm a self-gentleness teacher i'm telling you this so you might recognize that by worrying about the past you are bringing it with you the beautiful thing is of meditation is that when you teach yourself to um be in here and now through meditation you can start to realize that you don't have to worry anymore about the past or the future because if you have the power to be in the now where everything is okay nothing is going on um you are safe the future will become the now and if you can deal with the now you can let it go if the past catches up with you to the now you can let go of it because you learn how to be in the now so um i understand if this is new to you it's something you might want to chew on so one of those morning practice the morning without worries that's exactly dealing with that letting go of those things but the same is about those holidays but you could also help yourself by thinking so i have these bad memories are these connected to specific people do i want to have my holidays celebrate my holidays with these people or maybe not if the bad memories are still vivid because you you know that others will bring back bring up those bad memories then it might be self-gentle to say well it will skip this year i know it's easier said than done yeah but you can always do that it doesn't matter if people get angry at you it doesn't matter if people say oh you are only thinking of yourself yes you will say i am thinking of myself i have so many bad memories that i cannot i cannot have a great holiday together with you right now and it's not i want to work on it and therefore i need to be with me and not with you right now that's an option so i hope you can work that out i have a meditation group here on inside time it's called phlegm meditation group so i don't know if you are part of that please join me and you can always ask more about that if you like um so yeah anisha says that your daughters and you celebrate when it's convenient for you that's the spirit i really love that yes um victoria is in church singing that's good enough of celebrations yes victoria i know that you love to sing that's a really really great way of of celebrating yes yes let's see skiing also great yes victoria you're most welcome evie victoria is having an eye surgery on the first of december yes so you have to take care well good luck with that i hope everything will be okay and take good care of yourself yes so cherry has a great idea for you victoria to sing through whatsapp for your friends i love that you're most welcome all right so let's meditate um make yourself comfortable ah just feel like you're sitting on your bum feel your feet on the ground feel if there's any tension in your shoulders and if there is just drop the tension it's okay you can lean against the back of the chair you can lie down whatever you like now gently close your eyes just sit for a moment tune in with whatever your body is telling you you can stay skim it to feel just any tension and if you feel tension somewhere then just shift until it feels better make some more muscles and then just drop them all right now we're going to use a bhija mantra to meditate today a bhija mantra means a seat mantra it's a word that i'm going to give you and we're going to repeat this word while we listen to it so i'm going to repeat the word and you're going to repeat after it after me and the mantra that we're going to use today is ahum it's Sanskrit it means i am that's not so important most important is that we will hear the sound that you're going to listen to the sound so i'm going to repeat so i'm going to say the mantra and you will repeat after me yes and you can repeat out loud or mentally if that feels better i don't know where you are right now again ah all right very well now let's repeat it together together softer um even softer now continue to repeat the mantra mentally without moving your lips or your tongue just keep repeating the mantra and listen to the sound that you create in your hand senses And if you notice that your mind is wandering,

That's okay,

It's really really normal.

The moment you notice it,

You gently favour thinking of that mantra.

Notice that there are silences in between the repetition of the mantra and that you can extend those silences.

Aahm.

And don't be afraid to let the mantra fade out slowly like an echo that dissipates in the air.

And if your mind is wandering onto thoughts,

Sensations,

Emotions,

Then it's okay.

The moment you notice,

You gently favour thinking of and listening to your mantra.

Aahm.

Just let yourself sink in between the repetitions of the mantra.

And if you find silence,

Then that's okay.

The moment you notice that you are distracted by a thought or a sensation or an emotion,

Then you favour the mantra again,

You start thinking aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Aahm.

Can you feel how your heart space grows a little bit,

Fills with warmth and so much gratitude.

Again,

Where do you feel this gratitude in your body?

If you want,

You can put your hands there to remember,

To remember where gratefulness rests in you,

Because it's always there.

Alright,

Now I would like you to imagine that you see a big movie screen just in front of you.

Really big and bright and beautiful.

And the letters in the middle of the screen are your,

Are your,

Is your name.

Letters are popping up and this is your name written there.

And you can acknowledge that it feels good to see your own name there,

Up there.

Now,

I would like you to think of something that you really love during the holidays and just pick one of your favorite holidays.

It doesn't matter when,

It might be even a summer holiday,

I don't care.

Just one of those that you really love and think then of that specific food,

Specific game,

Specific person,

Specific interaction,

Something of that day that you so love.

And while you're thinking it,

You see it now on this screen projected.

You actually see yourself during this holiday,

Experiencing this wonderful thing that you love so much.

How does that feel?

Where do you feel this in your body,

This sense of satisfaction,

This sense of happiness,

This sense of love?

Yeah,

There it resides.

That's beautiful.

Remember that place.

Put your hands there for a moment just to know it.

And when you look at the screen,

You see like in a film scene,

As in a movie scene,

That your favorite holiday is on the screen.

And you are the director.

You are the director and you are going to create this beautiful scene of this favorite holiday.

You are going to cast the characters,

Which means that you will invite who you want to invite and you are in charge of how they are behaving because this is your fantasy.

And in your fantasy,

Everything is possible.

So,

Imagine,

Where are you?

Are you outdoors?

Are you inside?

Is there a beautiful dining table?

Or is everyone sitting cozy around the fire?

Are you laying on the grass in the sun?

Whatever it is,

It's okay.

Shape it.

And if you find it hard to actually visualize it,

To see it on the screen,

Then describe it to yourself,

What you would like to see there.

And mostly that is really helpful in having this vivid visualization,

This vivid fantasy about how you would like it to be.

So,

Now you see the place where everyone is.

Take a look.

Is everyone there?

Did everyone show up who you want to be there?

And are they all showing up with their best behavior?

Meaning the behavior that you really love about them?

What are you guys doing?

Is it cozy?

Is it warm?

Is there laughter?

Are you playing games?

Are you exchanging gifts?

And I would like you to zoom in now,

Like you're the director,

The camera is now zooming in on you,

You on that screen.

And when you look at yourself,

You see that expression of gratitude that you just felt so vividly.

You see this expression of gratitude on your face,

On your body,

In all your gestures.

And while you look at yourself,

You realize that you're really enjoying yourself.

You are actually doing nothing.

You're just sitting there between your loved ones,

Having so much fun.

Can you feel the ease of that moment?

Can you feel the pleasure,

The fun,

The lightheartedness?

And if you find it hard to relate to that,

Then take a look at yourself again and see how much you are enjoying.

But that's okay.

If it's hard to imagine,

Then it just means that you have a lot of resistance in allowing yourself to create this beautiful holiday as you like.

Its thoughts might pop up like it's only fantasy,

It will never happen like that.

And yeah,

You might be right,

But as long as you keep having those thoughts,

You will be right.

What do you say?

Let's just let that thought hover and maybe help yourself by repeating the mantra a few times so that your focus goes away from those thoughts and back to your meditation technique.

You will just repeat.

But if you are allowing yourself to feel this great,

Great moment,

Then I would like to ask you a question.

Keep your eyes closed.

Stay where you are.

Immerse yourself in that feeling.

What could you do to bring out the feeling of this imaginary holiday?

And don't overthink the answer.

The answer will come.

You don't think the answer.

The answer will come to you.

Suddenly the answer will be there because you just know it or you just sense it.

What could you do to have the feeling of this imaginary holiday?

And this answer might come now or later.

If it's not here now,

Then trust it will come.

And maybe when it comes now,

You don't understand what it is because you see a gift,

You hear a song.

But trust me,

You will understand what it is.

Today or tomorrow,

This weekend,

This week,

Your quarter will fall and you will understand what it is that you're looking for.

And let's just set the intention right now together.

Let's virtually hold hands and promise ourselves and each other that when we get clarity about what we need,

What we want,

How we want to feel during our holidays,

We will help ourselves to approach that,

To approximate that feeling.

Let me speak for you.

I will speak in the I form,

But this I is for every one of you.

But I'm telling you it in the I form so you can say it with me.

I will be open for new possibilities.

I will be open for feeling gratitude and love.

I will be open to really feel what it is that I need.

And I will radically put myself first when it comes to gentleness.

I will communicate my needs and I will honor them as far as I can.

I will be gentle with myself.

I will be gentle with the others.

And I will have the most beautiful holiday ever because I'm going to take it with ease.

I'm going to take it with love.

I'm going to take it exactly how I like it.

All right,

Now sit with that intention for a moment.

I know it might sound,

You know,

We just repeated some words and everything will be the same tomorrow.

Well,

My dear friend,

It's not the case.

Tomorrow will be different.

Tomorrow will be a whole new day.

And everything you realize now you will bring with you.

Before you know it,

You will have created such a lovely favorite holiday.

Whether it is this year or next year in five years,

One moment you will realize that this is exactly what you now create.

All right,

You can let go of the intention.

Just take a few moments to get back into your body.

Twiggle your fingers and toes.

Stretch your spine.

Move a little bit and then completely in your own time.

But take your time.

You can start to gently open your eyes.