The Mind And Heart Of Hindrances

Tonight I would like to talk about freeing the heart and mind of the hindrances.

Over and over the teachings of liberation state our true being,

Our true essence is Buddha nature.

The American doctrine Lama Surya das says,

We are all Buddhas but we are sleeping.

Sleeping Buddhas awaken.

What is it that keeps us from recognizing our true nature,

That which we are?

What keeps us from awakening to it?

Why is it that we can hardly believe that we are already Buddhas?

On the deepest level it is ignorance.

It is not understanding of reality,

Not understanding of who we are,

Which keeps us in bondage.

On a more obvious level it is the manifestation,

The expression of ignorance,

Known as the five hindrances.

It is these five hindrances in our hearts and minds which in many,

Many ways create trouble for us.

That is what I would like to talk about tonight.

Almost everyone who has spent even a little time in meditation is familiar with some or probably all of them.

They are sense desire,

Ill will or aversion or hatred,

Then what is called floss and torpor,

Which is tiredness and drowsiness.

Then restlessness and worry and skeptical doubt.

These five are the properties that impede and torment heart and mind and cloud and blur clear vision.

Whenever even one of these hindrances is active in our mind we are unable to develop steadiness or concentration or to see and recognize reality,

The true nature of things.

This of course gets even more impossible when these hindrances get to us in the well known and quite popular multi-pack,

Restlessly irritated and full of doubt all at once.

I don't know if that sounds familiar to some.

It is when we try to remember what on earth moved us to come to this retreat and we just can't remember.

Buddha gave an illustration which gives us a good idea on how these different hindrances work.

He compares the heart and mind with water in different conditions.

Sense desire is like the water that has various colors mixed to it,

Very attractive colors.

Ill will,

Aversion,

Hatred is like boiling water,

Hot boiling.

Floss,

Torpor,

Tiredness is compared to stagnating,

Moss covered water.

Restlessness and worry is similar to water that is agitated and moved by the wind.

Skeptical doubt is like murky,

Muddy water.

With that kind of water we won't be able to contemplate the reflection of the sky and the clouds on the surface of the water.

And it will be impossible to look through it and see all the way to its depth,

To its ground.

Similarly our hearts and minds when tormented by these hindrances will be unable to experience any clarity,

Any insight or serenity.

On the other hand it is fascinating and actually inspiring I find to see that the water itself never really has got contaminated by the various colors,

By the boiling,

By the moss,

By the agitation or the murkiness.

And in its actual nature always remains clear water.

You let it cool down,

You let the mat settle,

Each time it becomes completely clear again being just itself.

In that exact same way it is with our mind.

When those added qualities succeed the mind is clear.

The archetype of the struggle of the human mind with these often threatening forces is the battle against Mara,

Mara,

The personification of these unwholesome forces in the mind.

The battle which the future Buddha fought before his final awakening in Bodh Gaya,

India under the Bodhi tree there.

Joseph Campbell in his book Hero with a Thousand Faces describes the struggle in poetic mythical imagery depicting the gigantic forces at play here.

The Bodhisattva placed himself with the firm resolve beneath the Bodhi tree on the immovable spot and straight away was approached by Mara,

The god of craving,

Hatred and death.

The dangerous god appeared mounted on an elephant and carrying weapons in his thousand hands.

He was surrounded by his army which extended twelve leagues before him,

Twelve to the right,

Twelve to the left and in the rear as far as to the confines of the world.

And it was nine leagues high.

That's high.

The protecting deities of the universe took flight but the future Buddha remained unmoved.

Whirlwind,

Rocks,

Thunder and flame,

Smoking weapons with keen edges,

Burning coals,

Hot ashes,

Boiling mud,

Blistering sands and fourfold darkness the antagonist hurled against the Bodhisattva.

But the missiles were all transformed into celestial flowers and ointments by the power of Gautama's ten perfections such as wisdom,

Kindness,

Patience.

Mara then deployed desire and lust surrounded by voluptuous attentions but the mind of the great being was not distracted.

The god finally challenged the Bodhisattva's right to be sitting on the immovable spot,

Flung his razor sharp discus angrily and bit the towering host of the army to let fly at him with mountain tracks.

But the future Buddha only moved his hand to touch the ground with his fingertips and thus bit the goddess earth bare witness to his right to be sitting where he was.

She did so with a hundred,

A thousand,

A hundred thousand roars so that the elephant of Mara fell upon its knees in obeisance to the future Buddha.

The army was immediately dispersed and the gods of all the world gathered garlands and flowers.

Our struggle with Mara,

With the hindrances,

The temptations of our heart and mind is usually not as dramatical but at times not less difficult.

Given the fact that perhaps we aren't quite so realized Bodhisattvas as was Gautama,

The prince Siddhartha at that time under the Bodhi tree.

Now I'd like to look at each one of these hindering properties or qualities.

First one is sense desire.

It's the restless sense of needing something which we don't have.

We look towards the outside of ourselves to find satisfaction.

And satisfaction means a state of mind in which this restless,

Actuating feeling of desire is stilled,

Is fulfilled again and has ceased.

And we are content at peace again with what is.

It's actually a funny movement,

Isn't it?

This desire for something which then will make that we feel okay again.

We hope to get this state of mind through or from the right person,

Maybe from property,

From new acquisitions,

From food,

From sex,

From TV programs,

From movies,

From music.

Certain activities,

Tasks or missions or roles we play.

Or if all this doesn't work,

Even from meditation,

Our last hope.

In short we try to get it from one of the only six possible experiences of seeing,

Hearing,

Smelling,

Tasting,

Bodily sensations or feeling and thinking.

That's really how we experience the world.

Or a kind of combination of the six.

Desire is the feeling of inner poverty.

What we are,

What we have right now is not enough.

Yet what we so very much wish for is exactly the feeling to have enough,

To be content,

To be fulfilled.

And yet unfortunately none of these people,

None of these things,

None of these experiences have the power to fulfill us in this way.

To lastingly fulfill us.

Because they are all subject to change,

To impermanence.

And are ultimately outside of our control.

They may be within our control for a while but not very long.

And again they do something we wouldn't want them to do.

So the search remains endless and over and over again remain unfulfilled.

Maybe it's as George Bernard Shaw said,

There are two great kinds of disappointment in life.

Not getting what one wishes for and getting it.

It's the feeling of desire,

Of craving,

Of attachment that itself is highly unpleasant.

In our ways of speaking we do say he's burning with desire.

I don't know in English but in German we have many many expressions that really show how much that state isn't exactly cozy or restful.

It's burning.

I want to look at ways of dealing with these hindrances but before I do that I'd like to present the other four.

The second one is ill will,

Aversion,

Hatred.

That is simply the reversed inner movement.

In a way,

Craving is this movement,

Aversion is pushing things away.

The mind which tries to get rid of the undesirable person,

The unwanted situation,

The unpleasant things,

Be it new pains or restlessness or whatever,

The troublesome sounds,

Noises or the words we don't like,

The unpleasant feeling,

In short again the unwanted sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Sensations,

Feelings or thoughts.

Trying to change them,

Trying to suppress or deny or to destroy them if necessary,

Just to get them out of our world.

We do this through hatred,

Ill will,

Irritation,

Anger,

Boredom,

Judgment and condemnation.

But this too is a hopeless undertaking because all things of existence follow their own laws and mostly are outside of our control.

For a while it works and then again they follow their own law and not our wishes.

Acting out of aversion and hatred towards others also produces with them the opposite effect almost always from the one wished for by us.

It's very rare that you tell a people,

With irritation or anger,

You tell somebody how they're wrong and what they should be doing and they say,

Oh right,

Yes,

That's true,

I'll immediately change.

It doesn't work that way.

In fact,

Things get worse.

And in addition,

This state of mind is also painful,

Sometimes quite unbearable.

Desire,

Aversion.

Number three is tiredness,

Drowsiness.

The well-known feeling of sleepiness,

Especially in sitting meditation,

Quite known.

We wish to sink or fall over,

Turn off the mind,

Lie down,

Fall asleep.

We're without energy,

Without any kind of enthusiasm,

Drowsy,

Heavy,

Tired,

Exhausted,

Or lazy,

Indolent and uninspired.

Quite obvious that in this state we're unable to find,

To develop steadiness or focus,

Concentration.

Nor are we able to come to insight,

To see things clearly.

The desire,

Aversion,

Drowsiness.

Number four is restlessness and worry.

The agitation in heart and mind,

Which often very directly also manifests in the body.

It's being worried,

Excited,

Anxious,

Brooding,

Or feeling sorry.

Or just as a monkey jumps from tree to tree,

The mind jumps from one object to the other,

Scattered from thought to thought.

The feelings are confused,

Clarity and steadiness seem far away.

Maybe I've been sitting and it seems so long,

Something is wrong,

But I've been trying to see if we can see our watch somehow for a little.

We're worried that the person up front,

Maybe they nodded away or they forgot to ring or actually maybe they already walked out and we didn't notice.

A state of mind that seems utterly unbearable.

A state of mind that's certainly not wholesome and helpful.

Number five,

Skeptical doubt.

Doubt can appear to be rather harmless.

And yet all of a sudden it can put us out of combat,

It can paralyze our practice quite easily.

Skeptical doubt is defined as a mental factor which in and of itself vacillates back and forth between two or even more possibilities.

In this we're startled,

Bewildered,

Unable to make decisions,

Pulled and pushed by doubt,

Skepticism and indecision.

There are all kinds of doubts that come up in a situation like this.

We have doubts about ourselves,

Maybe we doubt our capabilities to do,

To complete what we set out to do.

We look around and we're convinced that everybody here has done this for years or decades and it's much too difficult and we can't do it.

Doubting ourselves and our ability to do things.

Or we have doubts about the teachings,

The practice,

The meditation.

It's really weird isn't it?

This dumb,

Unnatural sitting.

It can't possibly be good,

It can't be healthy anyway.

You know,

You sit here and you move slowly,

Unnaturally.

You know,

Probably would have been better to go to this other workshop for expressive dancing or this tantra course on Gomera.

We have doubts about the practice,

The method.

We have doubts about the guy sitting up front.

They don't wear any robes or spiritual costumes.

They don't have any exotic titles,

You know,

Should be at least a Christina Mahama or something.

I don't know,

Freddy Swami.

Yeah,

Nothing of that.

One of them can't even sit on the floor.

They can't be for real.

Doubt when unrecognized has the power to block our practice,

Block any understanding.

Even has the power to make us leave the retreat.

We've seen that.

Some years ago we were up on a mountain,

On a retreat house.

And this one friend,

He really couldn't take it.

He thought this was crazy.

But he had done some retreats.

So he packed while everybody was in the hall sitting and he moved out.

And it's an hour and a half walk down to the train station.

And just as he got there he started to realize it was doubt and actually didn't want to go.

So two hours,

Two and a half hours back up waiting for the next sitting so everybody is away.

Sneaking back in the room,

Putting everything back.

At least he noticed.

Doubt was Mara's last temptation,

His last attempt to shake the future Buddha's determination.

When he contested the Buddha's right to sit on that spot under that tree.

So we can see not only do these hindrances prevent collectedness,

Steadiness and insight.

Not only do they deceive,

Torment and paralyze the heart and mind,

But they are also very unpleasant.

In addition they create predominantly karmic lian hong states and reinforce those unhelpful tendencies.

And can cause more similar painful experiences in the future.

Yes,

These hindrances are not bad.

They are not evil or something or sinful.

Rather they are simply highly disadvantageous qualities.

Not useful,

Unskillful,

Unhelpful qualities.

Unhelpful for ourselves and for others.

So the question is how do we relate to,

How do we deal with these hindrances?

And the question is not how can we get rid of them immediately.

Because we can't.

We would have told you last night if we could.

The first point,

The prerequisite for a skillful way of relating to them is recognizing them.

We clearly need to recognize them for what they are.

We see,

Alright,

Now there is doubt in the mind.

Or oh,

Now irritation is rising.

Not oh,

There is irritation,

It shouldn't be here or it doesn't matter,

It is here.

Just oh,

This is what is there.

Right now I really feel angry,

I really feel irritated.

And then we feel,

Oh now it is really strong.

And maybe five minutes down the road we realize,

Oh,

Now it is fading.

And a little later,

Oh,

Now no more irritation is present.

It could be that now sleepiness is present.

So we know,

Oh,

Sleepiness is present.

And now it is quite strong.

Now it is not so strong anymore.

And some time later,

Oh,

There is no sleepiness present.

Just as it is said in Mahasakipatthana Sutta,

The Buddha's greater discourse on awareness or mindfulness.

How does a monk or a meditator abide contemplating mind objects as mind objects,

Such as the five entrances?

The Buddha very often spoke to the monks at that time,

So I leave the he in this case.

He goes on,

Here if sense desire is present in him,

He knows sense desire is present in me.

When no sense desire is present,

He knows no sense desire is present.

He knows when ill will,

Aversion is present.

He knows when ill will,

Aversion is absent.

When sloth,

Tarp or sleepiness is present.

When restlessness,

Worry or doubt is present.

Thus he contemplates this phenomena arising and thus he contemplates this phenomena passing away.

Thus he is mindful and aware just to the extent necessary for insight.

And the interesting thing is if we do that,

They will come,

They will be there,

They may be strong,

And they will also disappear without us doing anything for or against it.

It is in the nature of things to come and to disappear again.

And what is important for us here is not only to hear what has been said in this discourse,

But also to realize what is not being said.

Maybe that's almost more important,

I don't know.

For example,

It doesn't say,

Thus he fights against sense desire.

Thus he desperately struggles with drowsiness.

With strong will power he suppresses worry and restlessness.

Pitylessly he judges and condemns aversion in himself.

Rather than this it says he knows when ill will is present.

He knows when no ill will is present.

Thus he abides contemplating phenomena such as ill will in their arising,

In their passing away.

It also doesn't say he is getting lost in ill will or he is trying to get rid of ill will.

What we practice here is certainly not easy,

But it is incredibly simple.

See,

Feel how it is now.

Period.

And now again.

And now again.

For this we need awareness,

Mindfulness,

Presence.

That's really the key as always.

And we need gentle,

Non-judgmental,

Somewhat equanimous mindfulness.

Mindfulness to the extent necessary for insight,

As it says.

Mindfulness or awareness which simply feels,

Senses and sees what is.

Without too much identification,

Without getting lost in the stories,

The dramas that come together with these feelings.

Without too much attachment,

Especially without too much judgement on ourselves and the content of the experience.

And in case we do hold on with attachment,

Which we probably are going to do quite often,

And in case we do judge and condemn ourselves or what's arising,

Which we probably also are going to do quite often,

Then that's what the mindfulness sees.

That's what the mindfulness is aware of.

Saying,

Oh now there is attachment.

And now still,

And now it's gone.

Or oh,

Now there is condemning or there is judgement in my mind.

Okay?

So when judging the ill will or it's judging the desire,

And then there's a judging that judges that there is a judgment of desire.

Seeing that,

Seeing how it comes,

How it can be really strong and how that passes too.

It's that simple.

But easy,

But simple.

This of course will be difficult or impossible each and every time we get lost in the content.

Each and every time we're lost in the drama,

In the story,

In the memories or whatever that come,

That bring up the emotions or entrances.

Then we experience them as dense,

As solid,

As permanent,

As something which I am.

I am so angry.

It's like me.

There's a thickness about it.

This relationship changes immediately as soon as they're really mindful and aware.

And in touch also with the fact that these things come on their own.

It's not that we invited them.

They come according to conditions and causes.

And they change,

They're impermanent,

They do what hindrances do and they disappear.

As soon as we look and sense with awareness we recognize,

They come and go all by themselves.

Actually almost like clouds in the sky.

Sometimes they're dark rain clouds and storm clouds.

Sometimes they're nice little white summer clouds.

Somehow they appear,

Get created and they do their thing and they disappear.

They appear but are ingraspable.

The clouds do the way the dust,

The feelings do,

The emotions do,

The hindrances do.

It's like reflections of the moon on the water.

They seem very real and yet there's not that much to them if you really look.

The great Yogi Tilopa sang for Naropa in his song of Mahamudra.

Just as the clouds floating through the sky have no roots,

No home,

So do the distinctive thoughts and feelings floating through the mind.

They appear according to their causes and conditions.

They move,

Change and disappear when it's their time.

And we remain as mindful and aware and present as we can.

To the extent we can do that we're unshaken.

Nothing we need to do for or against those difficult feelings.

Unpleasant and yet easy they come and they go.

And there we can see clearly that the so-called hindrances,

These mind states,

Do not really belong to us.

It's not I or me who is sleepy.

If it were my anger I could decide to stop it and never have it anymore.

Or I could decide anything about it but it sort of comes out of,

God knows what,

Out of what.

It comes and it does its thing and it disappears.

We don't know where.

Sigmund Freud has this idea of this black bag where all these bad things are hidden and they come out,

They're lurking in there.

But actually I don't know if that's true.

Somehow causes and conditions make them come and when the causes and conditions fall away they disappear.

And we can watch that as we go through the sittings and walkings.

When we feel into this process that's even deeper out of the silence of mind we see that there really isn't anyone who could be the owner of those emotions.

And we recognize that inner freedom that always has been there.

I could not stop here except sometimes this is not that easy at all.

And we're just not that mindful.

We do identify with these hindrances and we do get lost in them.

At that time,

If we remember,

There are certain remedies which can help us to get clear.

I go through them again.

When sense desire overwhelms us,

One thing that can be helpful if you want to do it,

Sometimes we rather indulge in the object of the sense desire and we spend a little more time fantasizing how it could be like.

But if we feel that this is unsatisfactory,

It could reflect on the fact that things are impermanent.

Our body will get all decayed and die.

Others are impermanent.

Dead bodies decay,

Get all die.

We realize that it's like Ashley Brilliant says,

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

How many of you can relate to that?

I certainly can.

Suddenly I was 57.

A Japanese poet,

Sontoka Taneida,

Says it in his poetic show,

Dry Way,

Says,

Beautiful spring has arrived,

Back to the cemetery.

Things are so important if there is desire for them,

And yet it's also fleeting.

Whether we get it or not,

It's going to pass.

Whether we get the satisfaction we wanted,

That too is going to pass and we're going to need the next hit.

It can reflect in general that what we wish to process itself is impermanent,

That itself won't last.

And as I said,

The satisfaction that we get from it won't last.

What I really find helpful is when one actually does it,

To observe and feel over and over again how it is when desire is present,

And then how it is when desire is absent.

And meditation,

Especially sitting meditation,

Is very helpful because there's nothing we can do to get it.

If we're out there,

Maybe it's a cup of tea,

We can still drop the walking and pretend that we're really mindfully walking through the tea urn or something.

The moment,

Whatever the desire is,

To really say,

Okay,

Let me feel how this is.

And not to get confused,

There are two things.

One is the pleasant thing we want,

And it's always a pleasant thing we want.

So that thing would be pleasant if we had it.

There's the promise of pleasantness.

But the desire,

While we don't have the thing,

To look at that,

And that is really not pleasant.

And in a sitting,

Because there's nothing we can do to get it,

It's very interesting to take a moment,

Say,

Okay,

Let me just let go of whatever I want.

And rather than just go back to the breath for a moment,

Say,

Oh,

Craving,

How does it feel?

And it's a kind of state of mind where you're leaning out,

In a way something like this.

We're sitting on our pillow but we're doing this.

It's very tightsome,

It's very unsatisfactory,

It's very unpleasant.

And then,

Maybe ten minutes later,

We forget about our thing,

And there is no desire.

And we're quite balanced.

And then if you remember,

See now,

This is desirelessness.

Just one breath,

Just some sound,

Just very awake.

See how that feels.

And listen carefully,

Silently,

Quietly to how that feels.

Not with the sense of,

Oh,

How does that feel?

Because then desire comes in again.

Really feeling non-desire.

To me that's the most convincing.

Knowing the taste of desirelessness,

Contentment,

Relief and ease and peace.

And not after 25 retreats,

But each time in those moments when that is present.

What's interesting is instead of going through the whole trip necessary in order to feel that desire,

Sometimes we can simply let go and then we have the same effect.

It's gone and we're content again.

Take some practice,

But simply it's practice of looking how it is.

And each time it takes a willingness to let go of the thing we desperately want and to look at the heart,

The movement of the heart itself.

Oscar Wilde admitted,

I can resist everything except for temptation.

We can be demanding.

Number two,

When aversion or hatred overcomes us first of all,

It's extremely helpful and important not to judge and condemn ourselves for having it.

An attitude of kindness,

Of loving kindness,

Of metta,

Best for oneself that can be very helpful.

At least if we can find enough space to do it.

Or else if we can be present with some awareness and a gentle not too condemning attitude,

That's already pretty good.

Even aversion,

Even hatred comes and goes all by itself.

If you want to you can reflect on karma for a moment.

When we have difficult unpleasant experiences in life,

It's nothing else than the result of our own action in the past.

And if you don't like past lives you can think of last months.

If last months we practiced a lot of aversion and irritation,

Probably this month is going to be one with more habituated to irritation and aversion.

In a way you could say there is no valid reason to react with aversion to the rubbish because it's not them who are the cause for it.

It's our habit from the past.

When floss,

Torpor,

Drowsiness,

Tiredness over come us,

Then it's important to first make peace with it.

Maybe you can with the 5% of awareness remaining,

You know in between nodding,

You can explore or study what this state is like.

Is it the kind of darkness behind the eyes or sort of cloud that comes over the brain or is it the kind of hole and drain of energy?

How does sleepiness feel like?

How and where in the body does it manifest?

When we look at it in that way it's more easy to be accepting,

To say oh this is how it is,

Ok,

I'm not making it.

It just again comes because of conditions.

And when we're ok with it,

Not hating us for having it or struggling against it,

There are a few things we can do which sometimes help,

Not always.

Taking some deep in-breath sometimes helps.

Opening our eyes,

Looking into the light sometimes helps.

Not looking around what others do but just opening the eyes.

Standing can be very helpful sometimes also.

In the evening when you're tired you can do some standing meditation.

You can stand up quietly,

Mindfully and stand for a while and then if you feel more awake sit down again.

When you stand and you're tired please stand with open eyes,

Ok.

Through the day you can do some fast walking meditation,

Sometimes to get the energy up.

Also if it continues make sure that you're somewhat moderate with eating.

When all of this doesn't help and we keep on falling asleep over and over throughout the day we might need some more sleep.

When restlessness and worry get us during the sitting we might tend to squirm and move around in the attempt to avoid that unpleasant intensity.

What's really helpful though is to do the opposite,

To sit completely still.

Like rather to let go,

To relax into that unpleasant irritating intensity of restlessness.

Rather than holding against it it's like giving up surrender to it.

Like think of the worst that it could do to you.

Like you know I'm going to be so restless it's going to kill me.

Ok,

Take me.

I'm willing to die.

It's easier than tightening up and fighting against it inside.

Maybe emphasise the out-breath,

The relaxing.

That can help.

Sometimes it's better to return gently but decidedly to the breath.

Really decide to stay there.

Sometimes it's too scattered and intense.

And it's maybe better to open up the awareness to include all the restlessness of the body at once.

Like wide awareness or even include hearing.

So we have a very wide space where a lot of commotion can be held without too much difficulty.

The same is true when restlessness comes during walking.

Very easy to walk away.

Restlessness tells us you know it's over,

This is useless.

In fact it's just restlessness.

And what we want to do then is walk with restlessness as the experience.

It doesn't say anywhere what kind the experience should be when we walk.

Restlessness,

So we walk feeling restless.

And the interesting thing is if we go through with it we may find after another ten minutes that it suddenly gets really calm.

Now how did this one happen?

It certainly didn't happen because we walked away.

It happened simply because we went on with it and then conditions changed.

Of course there's no guarantee that after restlessness it's going to be really calm.

But things change.

When skeptical doubt torments us the most important is to recognize the doubt as doubt.

Otherwise we're at its mercy.

Doubt can really do what it wants with us if we don't see it for what it is.

It doesn't mean that we should be uncritical.

We do want to decide for ourselves whether this meditation,

This practice is helpful and suits us or not.

Certainly important to consider that.

But we want to do that maybe at the end of the retreat,

Maybe a few days after it's over.

The most unhelpful moment for this is a difficult,

Unpleasant meditation period.

In the moment you're in a thick of something difficult.

You can say,

Okay I will decide on this at the end of the retreat or at the last day.

Not now.

Now I'll just see it for what it is.

Doubt in mind.

Don't act on it specially.

Sometimes all that is needed is a quick change of climate.

Maybe five minutes of inner stillness and clarity and right away we want to do the opposite.

We think,

Oh I heard about three retreats.

Isn't there a tradition where they do,

You know,

We're just about to pack because we're so doubtful.

And five minutes later,

Wow,

You know,

Maybe I could do a long retreat in the hermitage wing of Gai house.

It's the other movement.

Of course it's good to do a long retreat at the hermitage wing.

But maybe you wait until the course is over and decide then.

Doubt when unrecognized can be disastrous.

Doubt when recognized and seen through is completely harmless.

All these antidotes can be very helpful,

But only to a limited extent.

As Jack Kornfield writes,

The use of antidotes is like the use of plaster,

While awareness with gentleness opens the wound and heals it.

Helpful to do things that sort of ease it up,

But really all that is needed and that eventually takes care of it,

Is a careful,

Kind presence in mindfulness.

In retreat what is most effective in terms of weakening hindrances is the development of collectedness,

Steadiness of mind,

Of concentration,

And that's very much what we're doing here.

We practice it focusing on the breath,

Practice it in the walking,

To expand to body sensations,

Hearing,

Tasting when eating,

To really make contact with the present experience,

To really make contact with the object,

Whatever it is,

To over and over steadily be present.

That's what helps collectedness deepen.

And when our collectedness,

Our commitment,

Our interest deepen in this way,

As they start doing the retreat,

Something very interesting happens,

Begins to happen.

The hindrances begin to disappear.

Only when steadiness and collectedness become stronger,

They begin to disappear.

Maybe at another point of the day they're not very strong so the hindrances come back.

Interesting to observe how that works.

Temporarily,

That is for the duration of being collected,

Steady,

The hindrances get put away,

Suppressed,

They're not active,

And we're able to see things more clearly,

More quietly,

More deeply.

That's when insight,

That's when wisdom can more easily arise.

In a way,

It's one important reason of why we come to retreats,

Why we make this kind of sort of unnatural,

Unusual setting of retreats and retreats,

Houses,

Retreats,

Centers.

That's why we need retreats.

Even though we know that the hindrances will be back as soon as the collectedness,

The depth of our meditation,

Weakens,

We can take our concentration with us at the end of the retreat,

Or most of us can't.

It's one of the staff people collecting out there when you leave.

Of course you train in being present,

In being mindful and in developing skillful ways with life,

So that doesn't get lost.

But that calm,

Collected mind that is hard to take with us.

But even though it doesn't stay,

Developing it here to some extent allows us to see,

To learn,

To understand what we might probably never have seen,

Learned or understood in daily life.

It creates that very special environment that allows us to see very deeply because the hindrances are less an obstacle,

They're out of the way for a while.

And that's very powerful,

That's very special,

That's a very precious situation.

That's one really helpful thing in terms of this format of a retreat.

It's not really about this often quite pleasant feeling of wholeness,

Of calm and happiness,

Which also can be quite healing,

That comes from concentration and calm and collectedness,

But to which we also can easily get attached.

I often hear people,

They leave a retreat and they had a good retreat and after a month I meet them and they say,

Oh it was very good but then after four or five days I lost it.

And I think there is maybe something that one can lose.

It's that sense of wholeness that comes from the collectedness because of our incredibly busy lives that goes away.

The hindrances come back,

But it doesn't mean the retreat was useless.

What we understand,

What we learn,

What we see clearly,

If we are mindful out there in any situation we can still apply it the same way.

So the collectedness,

The steadiness puts away what the hindrances somewhat and we can see it clearly.

But definitely permanently the hindrances cannot be uprooted by concentration or even by absorption,

But only through insight,

Only through wisdom.

But yet whenever the hindrances are not operating,

Even temporarily,

Then our heart and our mind show their true face.

Where attachment or whenever attachment and desire are absent,

There is deep contentment,

We can easily let go and our innate generosity shines through.

Whenever ill will,

Aversion is absent,

There is gentle acceptance and our basic all good nature radiates as kindness,

Compassion,

Sympathetic joy.

Whenever loss and torpor have disappeared,

The mind is clear,

Radiant,

Full of energy and the weight.

When restlessness and worry fall away,

Our heart distills and rests in peace.

When doubt disappears,

We can settle into the here and now,

Into this,

Our reality,

A great trust and feel at home.

Quite awake,

Quite loving,

Compassionate,

One with ourself and with life.

As Hsinchoh says,

Whatever road I take,

I'm on my way home.

I'd like to stay quiet for a moment.

Thank you for listening.

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