Happy Life Habits: A Mindset Reset

Happiness goes by many names for each of us.

Some call things or possessions happiness.

Some call happiness travel and adventure.

Some find happiness in stillness and being in a state of peace.

Whatever you call or identify happiness as,

There is always room to increase your happiness,

Especially when it comes to the small habits you do each and every day that may actually be bringing the quality of your happiness down.

If you receive the Get Your Life Together Girl newsletter each Tuesday morning,

You may have seen today's Mindset Reset as the tool of the week.

Today,

We're taking that tool just a step further and expanding upon it.

It seems very fitting to talk about our habits that really run against our happiness because I have received so many questions lately about what genuine happiness is and how we can really build this happiness factor.

I've seen so many of those in the last few weeks.

So I thought today we would dive right into happiness and getting into a place that we look at our habits.

So let's start with a very quick assessment.

Where do you fall on the happiness scale?

From 1 to 10,

One being not happy at all,

Life is hard.

This is a dumpster fire.

I want off this ride.

I am not playing.

1 or 10.

This is the happiest I've ever been.

Things are really falling in place.

I'm really genuinely good with where I am.

So where do you fall?

1 to 10.

Allow yourself to answer honestly without judgment,

Please,

Because no one is judging you on this.

This is just you and your inner conversation.

You should probably also know that when people sit with me in session and I ask this question,

Most people's answers fall somewhere between a 5 and a 7.

That's generally the average ranking of our overall happiness where we are today.

Now 5 is really considered neutral.

You aren't necessarily unhappy,

But you're also not super happy,

Right?

A 7 is actually pretty great because there's a baseline of happiness and there's always room for improvement.

And that's precisely our focus today,

The room for improvement.

As I said,

One of the things that runs against our happiness comes down to our habits.

When we act from a habit,

We're actually not focused on the moment.

Yet to be genuinely happy,

We have to be present moment aware,

Present moment focused.

So let's break down how to stop acting from unhelpful habits that run against the happiness.

And then I want to give you actual habits that build happiness.

That seems kind of counterintuitive,

Right?

I'm telling you to remove habits to build happiness,

But then put habits back in.

But we all need habit in our lives.

Our brains need a break from the everyday movement,

Right?

We have to have things that don't require every ounce of our brain power.

If we want to move through our lives,

But when we act from habit that doesn't serve us,

Like going home from work,

Dropping onto the couch and binge watching a show,

We really have a hard time connecting with ourselves and our lives.

So that's what we're talking about.

Little unhelpful habits that take us out of the present moment and take us out of being able to connect with what we really want.

I don't want you habitually scrolling on social media and comparing your life to someone else's 2%,

Right?

The 2% of what they actually share and then driving your unhappiness downward.

We want to put happy habits in place.

So how do we do that?

Let me give you the steps and it's actually quite easy,

But it does require us to get into those discovery questions that I talk about all the time.

So step one is to practice noticing.

What is noticing?

It's focus.

Think about it.

When you are looking at something,

What are you doing?

You're focusing on it.

So when we practice noticing,

We focus on how we feel,

What we think,

Our reactions,

Our purposes,

Our responses,

And what causes us to act.

Now great focuses that we can practice when noticing come down to asking ourselves those questions that I just mentioned.

You know,

What has triggered me?

How am I acting and showing up in my life?

How do I feel daily?

Where am I feeling these things?

Like in my body,

In my mind,

In my heart,

My stomach,

Where am I locating these feelings?

And maybe even who am I with when I feel these things or what am I doing?

Those are big,

Important things,

Because if a habit is that you are with a certain group of people and you feel terrible after,

Wouldn't you want to break the habit and realize that what you're doing,

Who you're engaging with,

Is actually causing this sort of distaste with life?

Another question would be what thoughts are centered in my life right now?

What am I thinking about?

Are those thoughts that are making me happy or unhappy?

Step two is to stop and assess.

When we stop,

We don't need to immediately react.

So we have the questions that we've asked ourselves,

And we slow down enough to realize that we are in control and that the only thing we actually have in our lives is choice.

What is it that we're going to do with how we're feeling?

When we slow down,

We realize that much of our responses has a massive impact,

Not only on the moment,

But in our short-term,

Long-term situational and genuine happiness.

When we do that,

When we stop and assess,

We slow down our thought process.

How do we do so?

We can stop and be silent.

We can go to pen and paper.

We can write out our thoughts.

We can go for a run.

We can do whatever it is.

But when we stop and slow down,

We are really empowering ourselves to make change and choice.

We can't change what we don't witness.

You've probably have heard me say that so many times,

But it's so true.

If we want to create change,

We have to realize that some of the habits that we're doing do not serve us.

That's what runs against our happiness.

Step three is to reassess and then respond.

Ask yourself,

What do I want to happen from here?

What's my intention?

Am I being deliberate in new action?

Remember,

This is the reassessing part.

This is the space that you get into to really ask yourself,

What do I need,

Want,

How do I want to feel?

Where am I going from here?

That piece that allows you to be in control.

Then you get to choose a new response.

If you need to go back to step one,

Then do it,

Right?

Let me go through that again for you so that you know you practice noticing.

You then step to stop and assess.

And step three,

You are moving into a space where you're assessing and responding.

These are easy ways to choose your response and to move through your life in a way that absolutely allows you to create happiness.

In the beginning,

I said I wanted to give you some happiness habits that help you build.

And so let's talk about those really quickly because these do help you in life progression.

And anytime we're progressing,

We have a natural tendency to feel happier,

Right?

We get into that space where we're one percent happier each day,

Which adds up over time.

So the very first one is to exercise.

Exercise is not just for the body.

Regular exercise can help you reduce stress,

Feelings of anxiety,

Symptoms of depression,

And that helps boost your self-esteem and your happiness,

Right?

A small amount of physical exercise can make a huge difference and it doesn't have to be massive either.

It could be a small walk around the block after dinner or a beginner's yoga class or spin class or kickboxing,

Whatever suits your fancy.

Even five minutes of stretching,

That's exercise,

Right?

The next one is to really focus on what I believe is one of life's most underestimated life habits,

And that is your sleep.

Focus on getting plenty of sleep.

If you are tired,

Your brain function and your emotional well-being will always be impaired.

Anytime that you're impaired,

Guess what?

That directly conflicts with your happiness.

So rest.

If you want to be happy,

You must have quality sleep.

And then eat to your mood,

Right?

Eat with your mood in mind.

How you feed your body directly impacts your overall health,

But some foods literally impact the state of your mind.

You know,

Carbs release serotonin.

That's a good feeling hormone.

So your veggies,

Your beans,

Your whole grains,

Your potatoes,

They make a difference.

The next part is to practice gratitude.

Simply being grateful can give your mood a huge boost and that significantly helps us build hope and happiness.

So try each day to acknowledge what you're grateful for.

It doesn't have to be a long event.

Just do it while you're brushing your teeth or maybe you're setting your alarm or turning the alarm off.

It doesn't have to be your production.

Just get into the habit of really getting into a space where you're acknowledging your life's happiness.

There's a few more things that we can talk about quickly.

One would be breathing,

Right?

Our instinct is always to take a deep breath when we're emotional or we're running up against something that doesn't feel very good.

And so we take that good deep breath and that helps us slow down.

It helps us find a really good place within us.

That is a good habit to have.

Some of the other things that we can work on is acknowledging when we're not happy,

Right?

When we're focused on our happiness,

A lot of times we'll say,

Oh,

I don't want to feel like I'm in a funk.

And so we pretend that we're happy and that actually runs against our actual happiness,

Our genuine happiness.

We don't want that.

What we want to do is just focusing on where we are and how we can move forward.

Other happiness building habits would be try to keep a journal.

Face stress head on.

Avoid comparing yourself to others.

Declutter each week.

If you're one that has to have a tidy space to feel happy,

I'm one of them,

Right?

Then do that.

Make it a priority.

See friends and family.

Remember that we are community-based beings.

We need one another.

We need outside connection.

So create it.

Plan your week.

Ditch your phone when you seriously need to unplug.

Get into nature.

Meditate.

There are many meditations here sprinkled throughout the podcast episodes or you can join me on Insight Timer for meditations there.

Whatever it is,

Take time and make space for these things that really can help you boost your happiness.

If you need to put an alarm on your phone or put it in your planner,

Do it.

Whatever it is,

Just make it a priority.

Your happiness must be a priority.

These are just a few habits that can help you boost that happiness.

But I want you to remember that as you shift through your life and you begin to make choices based on what you need and want,

Your happiness factor goes up.

Genuine happiness doesn't mean that life won't throw you for a loop from time to time.

It means that you find the good in what is happening.

It means that you feel like you're living the life that you want.

You go with the flow.

You try to find true desire and be present and satisfied.

The truth is genuine happiness will never be found in any amount of success and any amount of fame or fortune or possessions.

It comes from within.

It comes from the way that you connect with your life.

So if you know that now,

You can ask yourself from one to ten,

One being the dumpster fire,

Ten being happy and settled and really living the life that you want.

Where are you?

I encourage and challenge you to find a level of happiness that hits that ten.

You deserve it.

If you would like to have more tips outside of the podcast,

Please sign up for my monthly newsletter.

It comes out every Tuesday morning and it's filled with tips just like this.

And it's stuff that you're not going to get here on the podcast generally.

So I hope that you find a space where genuine happiness is your focus.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode,

Which originally aired on the Get Your Life Together Girl podcast.

Please take the time to review this conversation and follow me here on Inside Timer for more courses,

Meditations,

And additional conversations.

Until next time,

Be kind to yourself and others.