Lessons From My Dad - L,L,&L W/ Glenn Ambrose

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello everybody,

Welcome to the show.

So today is a somber,

A somber podcast.

I don't know how this is going to go,

I'm just going to give it a shot and we'll see.

So yeah,

Unfortunately my father passed away about four days ago,

Something like that.

So I didn't do a podcast and I just figured maybe I would give this a shot and see how it comes out,

You know.

It's obviously a difficult time for myself and my family and the sadness bubbles up.

And you know,

I've talked about death quite a bit over the years and my perspective on it as well as grief.

And you know,

I've lost plenty of people before.

So it's not that I don't have experience with it,

I do,

But you know,

Whenever I'm talking about death and grief and I'm not the one going through it,

You know,

It's not lost on me that when you're going through things,

It's difficult,

You know.

And a lot of times I try to focus on the solution and helping people.

I don't intend to imply that it's easy.

It's very simple,

But I don't intend to imply that it's easy.

It's not,

We have to feel these feelings and we can't stuff them or bypass them or anything like that,

Which is fine.

And I'm allowing myself to do that.

But it's also,

You know,

I just I believe grief is something that we go through.

I believe it's a process.

I don't believe it's a stationary place.

I don't think we're supposed to stay there,

Especially because of losing somebody.

You know,

It's just clear throughout history that everybody transitions from this life into a new one.

Everybody.

We're all going to do it.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that that's happening.

It's the most natural thing there is.

So,

You know,

There can be sadness to work through.

But I think we get stuck when we start thinking,

Oh,

There's something wrong.

He's not supposed to be gone.

So we're all supposed to go when we go.

That's why we go then,

In my opinion.

But,

You know,

Like I said,

It's difficult.

We have to process the emotions,

You know,

We got used to them being here in their physical form and they're not here in their physical form anymore.

So there's a there's a grief process to go through and a sadness we have to work through,

I believe.

And I'm working on that.

The podcast,

I wanted to focus on,

You know,

My father and the lessons that I learned from him,

You know,

It's the I was thinking about doing a podcast.

I'm like,

Well,

My podcast is entitled Life Lessons and Laughter.

And I certainly did have some laughter with him.

But,

You know,

Life has just ended.

So that's an aspect of this podcast and lessons.

He was my father.

So the lessons that I learned are numerous and immeasurable.

I didn't listen or I didn't.

I wasn't capable of taking them in for the most part when I was young.

I listened,

But I wasn't able to implement,

And some of it was because I think I was too young.

Some of it was because I was very different from my father in certain ways,

But very similar to him in other ways.

You know,

But I just couldn't implement them at a younger age,

But it's amazing to me over the last 21 years since I've changed my life.

How often the lessons that he taught me come back up.

You know,

And I've shared some of them before,

But.

You know,

One of the foundational ones that he taught me.

Was if you want to get closer to the truth,

You simplify,

If you want to get further from truth,

You complicate,

And I love that because it's a dynamic,

I use it all the time.

It's like I was just saying earlier,

Like just because I believe that the dynamics within grief are simple,

It doesn't mean that they're easy.

Simplicity doesn't mean ease.

Simple just means it's a very simple concept.

But very often the most profound things,

The most difficult things are often very simple.

As there's no hiding,

There's no rationalizing,

There's no soft,

Easy way,

It's just simple,

It's just that or it's you either work through the sadness or you don't.

And you live in it,

That's very simple.

You know,

Doesn't mean it's easy to work through the sadness,

It just means the dynamic is simple,

You know,

And that's given me it's helped me clarify a lot of things in my life,

But it's also given me the courage to.

To go after things that were difficult,

Because to me,

It's,

You know,

We have to be careful with overwhelm that holds us back,

You know,

So if I keep reminding myself that it's very simple,

It might be hard to do,

It might be big,

It might take a lot of energy or a lot of navigating of emotions or a lot of energy,

It could take a lot of whatever.

But when I'm facing something like that,

I just go,

But it's simple,

It's simple,

So I just do that simple little thing to the best of my ability,

And then I'll do it again to the best of my ability and do it again,

Or I'll take the next step to the best of my ability and just keep putting energy towards it.

It's very simple.

I can do it.

If it was smaller,

I could do it,

So I just need to do the simple thing several times over.

And I'll get to the big thing,

You know,

It helps me wrap my brain around.

What I'm trying to do and find the courage to do it because it helps me cut things down into simple bites,

You know,

And like I said,

That that's one of my I'm not going to spend too much time on this one,

I don't know how much time I'm going to spend on any of them,

But that one I've talked about quite a bit.

You know,

And I was I was thinking the other day I was I was talking,

You know,

With the family and I was.

I was very misunderstood as a child because I was different,

You know,

So it's how do you know how to interact with somebody that is experiencing life in a way that you've never experienced it like you don't,

You know,

My my parents and my sister thought the same way and I thought differently,

Like my perspectives were different.

I just interacted with life differently.

And so there was this aspect of of not being understood and and frustrated and stuff.

And,

You know,

It wasn't always easy.

And,

You know,

And then you add the school system in on that,

Trying to make me fit into a box that I didn't fit into and blah,

Blah,

Blah.

You know,

That was a negative aspect of my life or my childhood,

I should say.

But,

You know,

Fortunately,

I came from a very loving family.

I came from a father that.

Put family first,

You know,

He could have he turned down promotions and could have moved us different places and all kinds of stuff that he just said,

No,

I'm not doing that,

Which from an external perspective would have benefited him and everybody around him was going,

Why would you not take this promotion?

Why would you not do this?

Why would you not do that?

It doesn't make sense.

But.

You know,

In a grand scheme of things,

Hindsight's 2020,

Right,

So we see how things play out,

And I think that,

You know,

The fact that he chose to be,

You know,

My Little League coach and was there for us on a daily basis as a father that made a huge impact on me,

Even though I didn't like him being my baseball coach,

You know,

At the time.

But you can't replace the fact that he's there,

You know,

Like.

I think we as children,

We you know,

When we're children,

We get upset with our parents sometimes because we don't understand what they understand.

We're not adults.

But even if you don't understand that at the time,

Like you can't replace presence,

Like if you're there,

You know,

Your kid might not want to talk to you and might not want to look at you.

But if they know that you're there,

There's a certain level of comfort that they derive from that,

You know.

And and so even though there was a disconnect in certain ways with my family or my father,

That there was this this like I knew I was loved.

Even if I couldn't feel it all the time,

I connect to it all the time,

I knew that I was loved.

I knew that I was a priority in my father's life because of his actions.

And,

You know,

I think the obvious thing here is that he,

You know,

He helped make me the father that I was,

Because,

You know,

I by no means was I a perfect father,

But I was present and I was there and I did my best every single day.

And if,

You know,

I know we can try really hard and sometimes our kids turn out in ways that we didn't want them to turn out.

I think I was a good example of that.

You know,

My parents tried very hard,

But I turned out in a way that they didn't want me to turn out.

I turned out and turned into an alcoholic for 20 years,

You know.

So,

Of course,

You don't want your kid to turn into that.

But but I had everything inside of me because of them so that when I did finally wake up,

I did finally,

You know,

Transcend the alcoholism that I was able.

I had all this stuff in me to to lean on,

You know,

Because there was things that,

You know,

I don't know how I knew I just knew.

And I believe it was a reflection of how my father raised me,

You know,

Being there on a daily basis,

Consistency,

Just knowing he was always there,

Because like when I was in when I got sober,

I was in Florida and my son was up in Rhode Island and.

You know that Florida is a transient state and alcoholics,

A transient state.

On top of that,

So a lot of the people I was talking to were like,

Glenn,

You don't have to go to Rhode Island to be a father like you're his father,

Period.

And oh,

What are you going to see him every other weekend?

You're going to see your son.

And I'm like,

No,

No.

And what I when I would just kind of.

Take inventory of what I wanted.

Or how I saw myself in my son's life,

It was always,

You know,

I didn't always have the words,

But I was like,

No,

I'm going to be there like on a daily basis,

I you know,

I don't know that I'm going to be in his life every single day.

I didn't mean that by a daily basis.

I meant.

Like,

You know,

I didn't know at the time I figured so I would try to describe it and I was like,

I don't know,

Just like three,

Four or five days a week or something like he was he was going to have me in his life all the time.

Like consistently,

Like I was going to be the father figure,

I was going to be the one that.

That taught him to ride a bike,

I was going to be the one that helped him with his homework when I could,

I was going to be the one talk to him when he was down,

I was going to be the one that was going to the the meetings,

I was going to be the one to coach his sports teams.

You know,

I was like I was going to be a consistent presence in his life.

And I just knew that.

And people would ask me how,

Like,

How are you going to accomplish that?

Your ex-wife doesn't even want you near him and all this stuff.

And I just said,

I don't know,

But that's just how I see myself.

And I think I saw myself in that role because of the way my father was in that role with me.

It just kind of was a non-negotiable.

I didn't debate it.

I didn't try to figure out how it was going to happen.

I just knew that that's how I saw myself as a father.

And that was the type of father I was going to be.

So I did,

You know,

And then God moves mountains.

So,

Of course,

You know,

I was struggling for the first year when I came up to even see him regularly because,

You know,

My ex-wife didn't really want me to spend much time with them.

But then she decided to move in with her boyfriend and go back to school and she needed a babysitter.

Her family wasn't there anymore.

So I was like,

Great.

So I moved my schedule around till he was with me five days a week.

You know,

I saw him five days a week.

He didn't sleep over five days a week.

But I spent time with him five days a week.

And then that oscillated between five and four days a week his whole life until,

You know,

I got custody and he moved in with me full time.

So.

But my point is,

Is I knew that it was just that's that is how and I think it was more than just a mental box of what a father should be,

You know,

Honestly,

I think that's part of it.

But that's just an egoic,

Mind made idea of what you think a father is going to be.

And sometimes that can be helpful and sometimes it can be detrimental.

You've got to be careful with boxes and preconceived notions of what things are.

So like it served me in a way where I was like,

Well,

That's just what a father does.

A father is is with their child on a daily basis and they're consistently to help them and guide them.

And,

You know,

So that part was good.

So I kept that.

But there were other parts of what.

Um.

What I perceived a father to be that I needed to let go of,

And honestly,

You know,

Of course,

I'm I'm in the middle of grieving the loss of my father,

So.

You know,

I don't really enjoy harping on negative aspects of it,

But there were a couple there were a couple of little just adjustments,

I'll say,

You know,

He was very strict and he taught me consistency and all that stuff,

But there wasn't a lot of wiggle room.

So when I raised my son,

I was like,

Well,

I want a little more wiggle room than I got with my father.

So I'm going to I'm still going to implement it consistently in the way my father taught me to implement things and taught me how to be a father.

But I'm going to tweak this a little bit that it's so it's it jives with me a little bit more,

You know,

So some of the stuff I let go of and some of the stuff I included.

But the foundation was there and it was a beautiful foundation.

You know,

I mean,

I'm I had I had a present father who showed that he cared for me by his actions,

You know,

By being there even when it was difficult and stuff like that.

And it's you know,

That that's a really good foundation to have.

Yeah,

That's a good foundation to have,

Because,

You know,

I kind of you know,

I broke hard left and like junior high school,

So I didn't have much of a relationship with my parents.

From that point on,

I was kind of out on my own doing my own thing,

Very independent,

They they just couldn't control me.

And that was actually.

What jumped into my head earlier when I started talking about this is,

You know,

My father was so independent,

He was,

You know,

Like he found his way of doing things and he didn't care what anybody's opinion was.

He was going to do it his way.

And that's very much how I was,

Which is really cool when you're on the same page.

But it's very difficult when you're on opposite pages.

Right.

Because like there's a part of you that goes,

OK,

I'm independent,

Too,

So I understand,

But he's doing the wrong things.

So I don't I can't just sit by and watch that.

Right.

So it's hard.

It's but,

You know,

In all that,

You know,

In my later years,

You know,

I went through years of rebellion and blaming my parents for things and I went through all that stuff.

And during those times,

As much as I would project my anger that I had inside onto them.

And namely,

My father.

That.

There was a part of me that once I finally,

You know,

Would would talk to him and kind of lay down my own boundaries and say,

Listen,

This is who I am,

This is how I'm living.

And I know you don't approve,

But there's nothing you can do about it.

So let's just stop arguing so we can just get along.

You live your life the way you want to.

I'm going to live my life the way that I want to.

And let's just stop arguing about it because I'm not going to change.

So it's it's it's just a waste of time.

And it causes you a bunch of suffering and me,

A bunch of suffering and mom,

A bunch of suffering.

And it's just not we can cut that all out by just letting go and saying,

OK,

Glenn's going to do what he's going to do.

You know,

And the interesting part was that he understood that and I knew he understood that and is conflicted and projecting as I was back then.

That was a little piece that I that kind of warmed my heart because I felt hurt.

I felt like he got me in a way,

Even if he didn't agree with what I was doing,

Just the fact that he understood that he couldn't stop me.

I was like,

OK,

So he kind of knows who I am as a person,

Like,

You know,

He gets me at least on that level,

Even though he doesn't get my thinking,

He doesn't get how I live my life,

But he gets the fact that nobody on this planet can control me.

You just can't.

I'm willing to go further than anybody that attempts to control me,

Or at least that's how I was back then.

And that's,

You know,

That's kind of the dynamic.

I don't want to get into this,

But that's kind of a dynamic that I learned young.

You know,

The person that wins is the person that's willing to go the farthest.

And I was willing to go all the way.

I didn't really have any self-love,

So I didn't care what suffering I experienced.

I didn't care if I lived or died.

So I would go all the way with whatever.

But if you want to play this game,

I will play it out with you.

And I guarantee you,

I will go further than you until I win,

Until I until you break and go,

OK,

I've gone enough and then I get to do what I want.

That's just what's going to happen.

And it's,

You know,

You know,

Now where I am,

It's like,

You know,

I now I use that in a healthy way.

Back then I was using it as an in an unhealthy way.

So nothing is really good or bad.

It's just how you use it.

Right.

So.

And this is another thing my parents used to tell me when I was a kid,

Here's another lesson from dad and mom.

It's they were like,

You know,

You you find ways to do whatever you want and to do these things that that are like require a lot of thought and effort,

But they're negative things.

You know,

Like if you ever used your head,

The way it functions and pointed it at something positive,

There'd be no stopping you,

You know,

And they were right.

You know,

They were right.

It's they were right back then.

I just pointed it out and negative things,

You know,

I could figure out school systems and police systems and court systems and business systems and manipulate them to.

To do what to do,

Whatever I wanted.

You know,

So but now,

You know,

I use that not in manipulation ways,

I just use it as my stick to itiveness,

You know,

Because now it's to accomplish good things.

It's like starting my business and,

You know,

All that stuff.

It's like it's just once I set my mind on it,

It's just going to happen.

It's just kind of a matter of fact thing.

Like,

I don't really see the failures.

Along the way,

I just oh,

That didn't work,

OK,

Next,

That didn't work,

OK,

Next,

Like I just can stay focused on what I'm trying to accomplish.

You know,

I got that from him.

And it's it's funny because.

You know,

Later on in life,

We would compare like,

You know,

We would talk about these different things,

And of course,

I call them spiritual laws,

Universal laws,

Spiritual dynamics,

Dynamics of life,

Things like that.

My father didn't use that terminology,

But he was he did the same thing.

Like,

This is why I learned so many lessons from him,

Because he he learned.

What worked.

So this is like,

I find this very interesting,

Personally.

Like,

To me,

I found out once I opened up to spirituality,

I found out that like.

If something works consistently and repetitively in the microcosm,

As it does in the macrocosm and basically all situations,

Then that's because it's in alignment with a spiritual law,

A universal law that runs the universe.

And if you understand what that law is,

You can duplicate it in many different scenarios.

So that's how I saw it.

And then in talking to him,

He would be like,

Oh,

That reminds me of this.

And and like,

You know,

He would find a way that that worked for him in life.

And.

Him being very logical,

He would just go,

Oh,

Excuse me.

It would go,

Oh,

You know,

If I come at it from this direction.

I get the result that I want consistently over and over,

So that's the dynamic.

So he's like,

Oh,

That's how that works.

And he would duplicate it in other areas of his life.

He just didn't call it universal law.

He would just tell him it was just logic.

You know,

Like if you do the same thing over and over expecting a different result,

That's doesn't it doesn't work,

You know,

That's insanity.

Oh,

OK,

So so what I won't do is I won't do the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

So what's the alternative?

Well,

To look at it from a different perspective and try alternative solutions,

Like that's just how he worked and how he functioned,

And I think that that's why he functions so well in life.

And then I take those things that he found and I go,

Oh,

That's an example of this spiritual law.

Oh,

That's an example of this spiritual law.

So I just use different terminology.

But the fact is,

Is it doesn't matter.

This is why I like the way that I teach,

Because it doesn't matter if you believe in God,

The universe,

Mathematics or logic or anything else.

It doesn't matter.

Like the way that I see how the world works is just logical and duplicatable.

And so it just works.

Now,

If you say it works because God set it up that way.

Cool.

If you say it works because it just makes sense.

Cool.

Like it doesn't matter why it works.

If you know what works,

That's what matters.

The why,

You know,

At the end of the day,

Though,

Who cares about the why?

You know,

I mean,

If you're just trying to succeed at life and have a good life,

Then all you got to do is find out what works and duplicate it.

And that's what he did masterfully.

You know,

So when I look back at this,

You know,

When I look at what works,

I look back,

I can always see parallels to the stuff that I teach with the way that he lived his life.

You know,

And this is why he did good,

And I think that this is why he,

You know,

To me,

One of the most interesting parts about him was that.

Like,

I'm not a big fan of structured systems,

Right,

Like corporate America and the government and all this stuff,

And.

Some of that I got from him,

Like,

He's not a big fan of structured systems,

Right?

I'm not a big fan of the government,

But.

Like.

He fit into corporate America where I couldn't like,

I,

I just can't we're different in that way,

Right,

But.

What I noticed with him is even though he went into work every day and played the game,

He never really drank the Kool-Aid,

He never went and said like,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

This is how the world works and it makes sense and,

You know,

This is what we're supposed to be doing and we don't really have to pay attention to what our feelings are about it.

This is just life and you got to suck it up and do it.

He had little bits of that,

But but for the most part,

Like he didn't believe that corporate America,

Even though he was involved in it,

Did things necessarily the right way.

He saw the flaws in corporate America,

But what he did is he.

And I try to teach this,

Especially to young people,

He made the he made the system work for him,

Kind of like what I was talking about earlier,

I could figure out systems and how to manipulate them and get them to work for me.

That's what he did.

So he just did it in a nicer way,

In a more positive way.

So he would go in and,

You know,

He would be able to go into work and work in information technology his whole life and make a good living and and and provide a good life for his family and,

You know,

Put an in-ground pool in our backyard when we're young and like all the things that he was able to do,

He used his work to accomplish what he wanted to accomplish.

He you know,

So he played the game and pretended he was part of it,

Not because he believed in it,

Not because he drank the Kool-Aid and thought that it was the right thing to do.

It was he thought that there was all kinds of cracks in the system and half of it was a load of crap,

But he wanted to get what he wanted to get.

He wanted to be able to take care of his family.

He wanted to set himself up for a good retirement and to be able to travel and all this stuff and to live where he wanted.

And,

You know,

So he did what it took to do that without ever really drinking the Kool-Aid and going like really seeing himself as part of the system.

He just went into that system every day and used it to gain what he wanted and came back out and lived his life the way he wanted to live his life with his family,

Not playing the political games,

You know,

In corporate America,

But for the most part,

Staying out of political game and in the town we grew up in.

And,

You know,

Like he saw things for the way they were and if he could do some good,

Like,

You know,

He was on the redevelopment board for years for the town I grew up in and,

You know,

I believe that he did that because he thought he could make some positive change.

Now he,

You know,

Like we didn't talk a lot about this,

So this is partially a guess here,

But,

You know,

Like I,

You know,

I I'm sure he didn't buy into the political BS,

But yeah,

If he could play the game and just,

You know,

Make some,

Make life a little bit more beneficial for people in the town that he lived,

Then so be it,

You know,

He'd play that game for a while as long as,

But he wouldn't get knee deep in it.

It wouldn't become part of his identity because he saw the holes in it.

So he's like,

I'll just jump over there and play the game a little,

But like,

I'm not buying into the game,

You know,

I'll just try to use it to make some positive change.

So,

So that the way he was able to kind of separate himself,

His life and how he wanted to live from these longstanding structured belief systems that were crooked,

Like corporate America and the government and all that stuff,

He could still play,

Get in there and play the game.

Whereas me,

I just,

I can't even be involved.

I mean,

I,

You know,

I can,

I can do it if I have to in certain situations,

Um,

Kind of like he did,

But he lived in it every day.

I couldn't live in it every day.

I just need to have my own business,

You know?

Um,

But I owe it that that's one of my favorite things about him,

How he was able to use the systems to design and create the life that he wanted for him and his family without really buying into it,

You know?

And then,

So I see how that plays out in me.

And it's like,

You know,

I never bought into the system.

I didn't,

I couldn't fit into it as well as he could,

But I never bought into it,

You know,

And that's again,

When I,

When I did things for negative reasons,

I got negative results,

But now me not fitting into society,

I don't want to fit into a dysfunctional society,

You know?

And,

And I mean,

All my society is dysfunctional,

Hardcore.

Um,

People are kind and wonderful,

You know,

I think George Carlin was,

You know,

Talked about that.

He's like,

Oh,

I love people,

But you get them together.

That's when you start having a problem,

You know?

Um,

So along those lines,

I'm not saying exactly what George Carlin was,

But,

But like along those same lines,

It's like,

I,

Um,

I,

You know,

There's so many wonderful people,

Um,

In our lives and the outpouring of love has just been tremendous from all over the world.

You know,

It's,

It's amazing.

Um,

So people are wonderful,

But society as a whole is dysfunctional right now.

What,

What we see or what many unconscious people or the norm is seen as acceptable.

I just disagree.

It's just not acceptable.

I'm just not willing to participate,

Um,

In life the same way.

So,

You know,

We each have our own way of doing it,

You know,

And I don't think one is right or one is wrong.

Like I said,

I think my father was amazing that he could still stay participating in the game,

But not get swallowed up by it.

And I just kind of distanced myself even more and just go,

No,

I'm going to focus we're in a different time too.

You know,

So I'm more focused on creating a new paradigm that's going to replace the one that's falling apart as opposed to paying attention to what's falling apart.

You know,

Um,

But I can stand in that,

You know,

He's the one that gave me the ability,

I think,

To,

To stand in being different and not worry about it.

Just,

He didn't give a crap what other people thought,

You know,

He did what was right for him.

You know,

Like he,

He could have bought a house,

You know,

He had the money.

He could have bought a house in the real rich area of town.

He didn't want to do that.

He wanted to buy a little house and fix it up.

It made more sense to him.

So he did that,

You know,

And some people were like,

What are you doing?

You know,

Like,

Why don't you just live over there and just,

You know,

No,

Like he,

You know,

Other people's opinions did not matter to him at all.

Which was,

You know,

Very helpful for me.

Again,

I used it dysfunctionally when I was young,

But I used it.

I use it functionally now.

I don't care.

Like,

You know,

This land project I'm doing,

I mean,

I'd like to say I'm surprised,

I guess I'm not.

I I've gotten so much negative feedback from people that supposedly know what they're doing.

Now I,

I got,

I've gotten a lot of positive feedback too,

Especially as the project unfolds,

But just the initial thing,

Just,

Just the,

And really the most negative feedback I've gotten,

To be honest with you,

It doesn't have anything to do with the project.

It had to do with me.

Like when I walk up and I go,

Hey,

I'm going to be doing this,

This big land project,

And this is what it looks like.

And this is how big it is.

Everybody's going,

You're out of your mind.

Like,

That's too big of a project to start with.

You don't know what you're doing and they're looking at all the negatives.

And I'm just like,

Yeah,

But like I ran the numbers and it doesn't make sense to do a small one because of the way,

The pricing of the land,

Like I lose all the profit margin if I try buying something smaller and doing this with something smaller.

And then I can't hire the right people.

I can't hire professional,

Um,

Uh,

People to,

To,

To,

Um,

Guide me in a business sense,

Professional people to do the work on the land,

Professional people to,

Uh,

Do all the legal work to make sure everything's done exactly right.

I can't afford to do that because I'm not,

I'm barely making any profit over here.

But if I do this bigger,

Then I can do it.

Right.

I can do it with the right people.

I can build a good team.

I can,

You know,

It's a win-win for everybody.

It just makes sense.

And like once the business professionals,

If they slow down and listen to everything and see the numbers,

Then they hop right on board.

They're like,

Oh my God,

This is wonderful.

This is amazing.

And they start looking at me different.

They're like,

Oh my God,

Glenn,

You have a brain.

Even though you don't know,

Even though you don't have 30 years of land development,

You understand things and you understand like why,

Like I understand why I need a,

Uh,

Highly professional planning and development team,

Like I understand why that's important.

So therefore it's a non-negotiable for me.

Because it's what's going to make the project run smoothly.

So I'm going to do that.

Like,

And it's very,

Very high priority in this project.

And people go,

Oh,

Well,

I thought you were supposed to know a bunch of business to know that that was high priority.

It's like,

No,

It just makes common sense.

That's high priority to me,

You know?

But my point is,

Is when I was getting all that negative feedback,

Glenn,

You can't do this.

Glenn,

You don't have the history of this.

You know,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

I was like,

Yeah,

But I,

I understand business and I have a logical mind and I know what needs to be done and I can hold the vision and I can put together a good team and I know what's important.

And I know I have to get advice from people and I'm incorporating that in.

And,

You know,

And they're like,

Oh,

Well,

Yeah,

I guess if you,

I guess if you do all that,

Then that kind of replaces 40 years of,

You know,

If I put together a hundred years of,

Of experience in the business world,

Because I have 25 years of experience from four different people that are controlling four different aspects of the project,

Then I don't need 40 years of business experience because they all have it in their areas.

See,

This is like,

I know I'm kind of going off here,

But this is like how our minds work.

It's,

You know,

And I got that from him.

It's very logical.

It's like,

If we understand something and how the dynamics of it,

Then we can make it happen.

Like,

Not maybe,

Definitely a hundred percent of the time we can make that happen.

Why?

Well,

Because we understand the dynamics of how things work,

You know,

And we don't care what other people think.

I don't care that people think I need 40 years of experience.

That's fine.

They can think that.

Just don't,

Don't get involved with the project then.

Or if you would like,

You know,

Like this is what I tell people,

You know,

When they start coming at me saying that I shouldn't be doing this,

I'm like,

Well,

Would you like to go over it with me and make an informed decision?

And sometimes they're like,

No,

Because there's no way you can do it.

I'd be like,

Okay,

Bye then.

I don't need you in this project.

But if they go,

Okay,

Yeah,

Usually it's out of,

They think it's out of spite.

You know,

They're like,

Okay,

Okay,

Glenn.

Yeah.

Mr.

Know-it-all,

Go ahead.

Show me how this is going to work.

And they're getting ready to poo poo all over my idea.

Right.

And then I go through everything and they're like,

Oh my God.

Now,

All of a sudden they're on board.

They're shocked.

But they're on board.

Those are people with an open mind.

Those are people that I'm willing to work with.

Don't tell me I can't do something just because I don't have 40 years of experience.

I've done other things and there's a dynamic to how things work.

And if you can understand them and you can recreate them,

Then you can do them.

You know,

And I can prove it to the business people that come in with an open mind and are willing to listen and look at the numbers.

And they're like,

Oh my God,

Glenn's got this,

You know?

And it's like,

So for me,

It's a beautiful way to find the right people to work with,

Because I don't want to work with people who think they know everything.

I don't care if somebody has 40,

50,

60,

70 years of experience.

If you think you know everything and your way is the only way,

I don't want to work with you because your way isn't the only way.

There are other ways to get things done.

And if you're so close minded,

Just because you've duplicated it,

You know,

I know multimillionaires have duplicated systems,

You know,

And have a way of doing things and I won't work with them because they can't think outside the box.

They forgot that they used to think outside the box when they first started.

That's how they became successful in the first place,

Because nothing goes the way you think it's going to go.

So you need to be able to adapt and make changes and all this stuff.

And apparently some of these people that think they know everything have forgotten that.

So they think,

No,

It's just,

I found the perfect way of doing everything.

Like,

Okay,

I don't need their help.

No,

But this is,

Again,

This is all the,

The,

You know,

To me,

I don't know if you guys are following this cause I know I went off and,

You know,

I don't even care,

Man,

I'm talking about my dad and the things that,

That,

Um,

He taught me.

And to me,

This all,

You know,

This podcast is,

Is kind of for me,

Helped me process things and.

Authenticity is all I have to offer to everyone listening.

It's all I have.

So if you're sitting there going,

I don't know what he's talking about and how this has to do with his father,

I understand,

I see how it ties into him.

Hopefully you do.

Um,

He taught me to believe in myself and not to get,

Depend on approval from outside sources,

You know,

And that like,

I don't know,

Man,

What's a bigger lesson than that?

You know,

That's why I'm talking about all this stuff.

And to me,

It's like,

Wow,

How lucky was I to have him as a father?

Because I see how it plays out in my daily life now.

And,

And in other ways,

You know,

He taught me not to.

Not to depend on external approval and not to seek it.

You know,

How to be your own man,

Even if it's going against the grain.

That's,

You know,

I,

I,

I made some notes here too.

So,

Um,

So I could kind of remember some of the lessons.

How to stand tall and be dependable even when life is hard.

You know,

That's another thing that I got from him.

Like,

It's just my,

I just won't give up,

Man.

Like,

You know,

When I,

I moved out when I was 18 and got my own apartment and lived there for years.

And,

You know,

Most people were like,

I mean,

I,

I remember parents of friends telling me like,

Wow,

You know,

None of us thought you were going to make it on your own and you did it.

I always knew I would make it on my own.

Like my father taught me how to handle money.

You know?

So even though I didn't have a lot of it,

Most of my life,

I was able to handle it really well.

So,

You know,

I moved into my first apartment making $5 an hour.

Well,

I figured out exactly what my pay was going to be after taxes.

Um,

You know,

And then had to pick up like a half shift on a Saturday,

Like twice a month or something to be able to make up enough money where I could pay all my bills,

Have some spending money,

You know,

And have 10 or 20 bucks left over every week or something,

You know,

So I had that all figured out,

You know,

And then I would save up,

You know,

Four weeks,

That $10 and then buy a vacuum cleaner because I didn't have one or,

You know,

Like,

So I could do all that stuff because he taught me,

He taught me how to think logically at things and add things up and plan it out and prepare and have the big vision and make sure that you had,

You,

You knew,

Like,

I always knew how I was going to accomplish something because I ran the numbers and I had it all figured out how to do things yourself and fix things.

You know?

Yeah.

You know,

I grew up in a construction zone.

He was always redoing something in the house and yeah.

Did he hire people sometimes?

Yeah.

For the,

For the bigger aspects of it,

But a lot of stuff he did himself,

You know,

I got my first bicycle at the dump,

You know,

Like,

Let's go hop in the car.

We're going to the dump.

We're going to get you a bicycle.

And this is the guy making probably six figures in the seventies,

You know,

And we,

We,

We went,

Oh,

There goes my mind bell.

We went to the dump.

To,

Uh,

Find a bicycle and we found one and it was this old bicycle frame that you could take that middle bar off with,

It was screwed on.

So it could be a girl's bike or a boy's bike.

And we got that thing and brought it down in the cellar.

And he taught,

You know,

He taught me how to wet sand to get it all down to the bare metal.

And then we spray painted it in the cellar.

And got tires and got a chain and,

You know,

And maybe fix the sprocket.

I don't remember all the details,

But we got it and we built a bike together.

And that's how I had my bicycle,

You know,

And then we built a huge entertainment center out of wood,

Very detailed,

And he drew it all out.

You know,

He drew the addition on a eight foot addition onto the,

Our living room and the pictures you saw were on graph paper and he had every brick drawn,

Drawn because he put in a whole brick wall on one side with a fireplace in it.

You know,

So they had somebody come do the work,

But he had it all drawn out and plan and laid out,

You know,

And he did the same thing with that huge entertainment center,

Like I said,

And we built that.

So like,

I was kind of used to going in and doing things,

Even though I didn't know how to do it.

And seeing like,

You know,

Like if you looked at that entertainment center,

Like,

Like people wouldn't believe,

Especially nowadays that he built that.

Like,

He's not a woodworker.

It was very detailed and had like three different tiers of shelving.

And,

And it was like six feet wide and,

And it had the,

The spirals on the legs were all the way he did them.

I mean,

It was really intricate,

You know,

And he didn't,

He wasn't a woodworker.

So to me,

How does that translate?

It's like,

Well,

You just figure it out.

You know,

You,

You know,

How do you make a,

How do you make a six foot entertainment center?

Well,

I don't know.

First you draw a line that's six feet on a piece of paper that represents six feet.

And then you kind of figure out where you want the shelves and then you go,

Okay,

Where are we going to put the TV?

And you just start from nothing,

You know,

And then,

Then you get some stuff that works,

Some stuff that doesn't,

And you copy it over to the paper,

A new paper,

And you crumple up that one and say,

Okay,

There's too many mistakes on that one,

But we're going to keep this and then work off of that.

And,

You know,

And it's one step at a time.

And I saw it just one,

One thing at a time,

You could accomplish amazing things,

Even if it wasn't your forte,

You know,

So,

You know,

That translated to me.

What else?

Respect is earned,

Not demanded.

Yeah.

I don't,

He taught me that too.

And I don't know if he liked it too much when I was young,

Because like,

I just didn't,

I'm still like this.

I give respect.

I give respect to people.

You know,

Now that I understand things,

I believe you have to give away what you want to receive.

So I will,

I will be the first one to give respect.

Whereas when I was younger,

I wasn't necessarily,

I didn't understand this so much.

So I'll be the first one to give respect,

But I'm also still the first one that if the respect isn't reciprocated,

There's a,

There's a hard no coming your way.

And I don't care who it is.

Like it,

It just doesn't like,

I've never,

I've never believed that I should respect people because they're older than me or because they have,

Uh,

Some sort of education they think is important or their,

They have a title that people think that is respectful or something.

I like,

I like it's,

It's almost,

It's,

It's hard for me to describe sometimes because I'm so not like this.

Like,

I can't think of a reason why I would show somebody respect that is disrespecting me.

I can't think of a reason.

I don't care who it is.

There is nobody on this planet,

Regardless of their status,

Their title,

Who they are to me,

I don't care.

If you are disrespecting me,

I'm you're going to get a hard no.

And I got that from him.

You know,

He didn't just respect people because they were the chief of police or they were the mayor or they were his boss or whatever.

It's like,

No,

You just treat me with respect and I'll treat you with respect and we're going to get along fine.

There's no problems.

But if you push,

Then you'll hit a wall.

You're going to get a hard no.

Like if you think you're going to get around that and disrespect me and treat me like crap because of who you think you are,

That's not going to fly.

You know?

So that's another thing that I got from him.

And again,

You know,

Like you can,

You can,

You guys can probably see that.

Like when I was using all this stuff for bad,

I was pretty dangerous and it caused a lot of problems.

But when I use this stuff for good,

It's highly beneficial.

See,

He was good at using it for good.

I went through my stage of using it for bad.

Um,

Value of hard work,

Doing things the right way.

He taught me how to take care of my stuff,

How to do things the right way.

This is why I still have nice things because I take care of my things.

And when I do something,

I do it the right way.

That's just a habit you learn,

You know?

And I see a lot of this stuff trickled down into my son.

You know,

I see Mateo doing things the right way and working hard and all this stuff,

And I'm like,

That's a hell of a legacy.

I remember he taught me one time now,

The people who laugh the most are sometimes the saddest inside.

He told me that once.

And I remembered it because I was like class clown all the time.

So I probably,

Like,

I didn't understand it then until he said it.

I didn't know I was hiding my tears through laughter when I was young.

I just,

I was kind of just distracting myself and it was part of my personality.

But when he said that,

You know,

I started was like,

Oh,

Am I doing that?

Oh my God,

I am.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

There's some,

There's some hurt in there and I'll deflect it through humor.

Huh?

You know,

That,

That was a,

That was actually a big,

A helpful thing for me to understand other people as well as understanding myself.

It's okay to cry.

That real strength is quiet,

Not loud.

How to love someone through their flaws.

That time spent together is the most valuable gift.

These are all things I learned from him.

You know,

Like he,

He wasn't a real emotional guy.

But every once in a while it came out and when it came out,

He,

He didn't,

He wasn't ashamed of it when it did come out,

You know,

I remember when he told me that his father had died and,

You know,

And he,

He was crying and,

And he owned it,

You know,

Even though I probably had never seen him cry before and I was like 18,

19 years old.

He,

It was shocking to see him cry,

But he was like,

You know,

He owned it though.

He was like,

You know,

You know why this is so difficult.

It's because I know that it affects you.

You know,

I know you cared,

You loved your grandfather and I loved him so that,

So when I have to tell you,

He's like,

I've told a ton of people on the phone today and I didn't cry with any of them.

This is,

But when I told you,

I cried because I know that you care,

You know,

So this is,

He had,

He had some damn good insights,

I think more than most people realize,

But well,

We're approaching an hour and you know,

Like I said,

I had no idea what the,

How this podcast was going to go.

I just kind of wanted to try and see what came out and,

And I wanted to share his memory and a lot of the things that I got from him with you all,

You know,

Out of respect for him,

Out of honoring his memory and,

You know,

And maybe.

Maybe some of this stuff,

Maybe you can see how you might've learned something from some of your parents or other people.

It doesn't matter where we learn them,

You know,

But we can,

We can be grateful for the teachers that we had that,

That,

That taught us those little nuggets that can help us in life.

And,

And my father taught me a lot of them,

A lot.

He taught me a lot,

You know these are just some of the ones I touched on.

He taught me a lot.

And like I said,

Now that I'm doing good things in my life,

I'm using them in more of the way that he used them and I can,

You know,

So it's easier to draw the parallels,

But yeah,

There's,

There's no doubt he was the patriarch of our family.

He helped everybody.

He was there for everyone.

He was the one that held everything together and made sure everything was taken care of for everyone.

You know,

And,

And it's,

It's also why I think I see everybody in our family just stepping up because we saw him step up when he needed to,

For anybody that needed his help,

He would step up and,

And without thinking twice,

He would help them.

And now we're kind of leaning on that and doing it for each other right now,

Which is a beautiful thing.

So,

Well,

Thank you,

David Ambrose.

Thank you guys for listening and,

Um,

That's going to do it for today.

So peace and rest in peace,

Dad.