Self-Compassion For Narcissistic Traits

Welcome to this guided meditation specifically for those of us who are on some part of the spectrum of either self-diagnosed or externally pointed out narcissistic personality disorder.

So just settle into any position that is comfortable for you right now and I invite you to take a moment to actually check.

Normally we kind of default into this is my meditation position right and that's useful but I want to just invite you for a moment to maybe take an extra breath and really feel into your body and kind of ask it how would you like to sit or lay right now and just see if anything comes maybe you'll wiggle a little bit or maybe breathe in a certain way just take a moment to already make that mindful movement of placing your body for the practice and maybe you're kind of waiting for what is next and I want to invite you to kind of if you are noticing that you're kind of waiting what is the next instruction just gently inviting you to let go of that to just be okay with just being exactly where you are right now there's no specific mindset to have in order to self-connect it's actually more simply opening up to what is already here and sometimes waiting can be a subtle way of absencing of stepping out of presence and I don't mean that as kind of a blame or a finger pointing but more a pointing out this is something we do I also do this so just to kind of let that go maybe you can support yourself in that letting go by breathing in a little bit deeper and then exhaling at your own tempo just seeing if you can release your face your shoulders down a bit more and to just settle into whatever is here right now however you are feeling whatever thoughts are there so rather than seeing this as a meditation or a practice let's just treat it as accepting accepting what is and specifically I want to direct you to your breathing it's just a very helpful anchor of presence and you can continue taking some deeper breaths but I also invite you to simply notice how you're breathing so both is fine you can take some deep breaths and then relax when you exhale it's very pleasant and then notice that so either you're taking deliberate breaths I leave it up to you or just noticing how breathing is happening by itself and noticing meaning really not just thinking about it or kind of conceptualizing the breath but really feel with your feeling inside your body maybe around your nostrils or your chest or your belly so take a moment to connect with that breathing that is happening and feel the details of it feel the subtle fluctuations with every breath and anytime you notice your mind is trying to do the meditation right and trying not to meditate because Hans just said we're going to accept just let it go it's really not doing nothing and that includes when your mind is active to let that be it'll be active anyway see if you can just allow your awareness to open up one layer deeper one layer less of trying and doing but just being noticing and you'll notice that when you're simply being there's already a kind of noticing that happens because being and noticing is hardly separate so already what you're doing right now is giving yourself loving attention because accepting what is is loving what is and noticing what happens is mindfulness so I invite you to keep that going the simple acceptance and noticing and letting go every moment that you are aware of that possibility of letting go and forget about being good at it if there's a part of you that's trying to be good at it then just notice that part and just keep on doing nothing simply noticing and perhaps it's not so easy for you right now to simply notice and do nothing maybe there is restlessness or irritation or frustration or maybe you're holding some big pain right now maybe there's physical discomfort maybe there's something that is kind of preventing you from really letting go into the practice of accepting noticing that's actually fine that doesn't mean that you're not doing it right it does mean that this is your meditation object any pain any resistance maybe there are a lot of thoughts happening I invite you to simply apply the accepting to that which seems to be blocking you and don't point your acceptance at it like a gun because we don't actually want whatever is blocking you to go away that'll only increase the block but really accept maybe you're angry maybe you're super restless maybe you can't stop moving okay that's your meditation just be with that and wherever you notice the resistance that's okay that is welcome can you do that and one specific kind of technique you can apply if you want to is to simply direct your breathing to that it can even you can direct your breathing to a thought you can direct your breathing to a body part just imagine it so and the breathing simply means hey I see you you're welcome I'm sending you breath that's not doesn't mean we're feeding it we're just giving it loving attention whatever we welcome stops being an obstacle it's just something in awareness very good and now besides the actual practice of giving yourself loving attention which is what you've been doing which is really good I just want to reiterate a perspective that I think is helpful so I myself have been diagnosed with several kinds of complex personality wounding I'm not really anything per se but there are for me also some scores on the card of narcissism and three other maybe four other spectrums where I have some there is something there for me and I noticed for myself that when I meditate specifically in the morning I'm giving myself the loving attention that I so missed and this is a really good to offset this personality disturbance or wounding that doesn't help me and doesn't help others so what you're doing right now is enormously beneficial and honorable and I just want to add that one perspective besides this honesty I just shared I want to just reiterate the perspective that you are not your personality you are not your brain you are not your wounding you are however the best placed person in the world to address whatever you find in your body and in your mind in your wounding and that is called responsibility so we're all born with specific quirks and sometimes even what is called disorders which is a little bit of a judgmental term I like much more to see these things as woundings that we can correct for when we take responsibility my friend Stephen often says that you're not to blame for the mind you inhabit those are not exactly his words but I'm kind of paraphrasing and the beautiful thing is that when you are when you recognize that you're not to blame but you are so empowered to work with yourself it kind of takes away the heaviness and it then becomes something we can actually work with it's incredibly empowering to see that you're not to blame for your wounding but you are responsible and by doing this practice I think you're doing an amazing thing for yourself and for the world so I just wanted to give you that perspective and for the last part of this meditation I will stop speaking I'll I'm just going to give you some space to sit for a few more minutes I hope this was to your benefit and I wish you a beautiful rest of your practice and rest of your day thank you