Welcome to the Henny Flynn podcast,
The space for deepening self-awareness with profound self-compassion.
I'm Henny.
I write,
Coach and speak about how exploring our inner world can transform how we experience our outer world,
All founded on a bedrock of self-love.
Settle in and listen and see where the episode takes you.
If you've ever shared a bed or a room with another person or sat beside a sleeping stranger or a loved one on a plane,
Train or in a car,
You may have noticed how sometimes when you're wakeful they begin to stir and it can feel like the shuffling kaleidoscopic patterning of your thoughts has spread out from your darting mind into theirs and so you go still,
Lying or sitting as quietly as you can,
Willing them to sleep.
Sometimes of course it's because we don't want the disturbance of their wakefulness,
Maybe for good reason and that's a reflection worthy of its own attention,
Or maybe simply because you're deep in your own disturbances and don't wish to add to theirs.
And sometimes of course this deep awareness of their breathing,
Their presence,
The surfacing of their awareness helps us feel into the very essence of our own existence.
Perhaps noticing a tightness in your jaw that you quietly release so it doesn't spread across the pillows or the seat,
Waking them with its solid grip.
Maybe there's an unclenching of the muscles of your shoulders,
Your back,
Your stomach,
Hips and thighs,
Softening back into the support of where you sit or lie,
Sending waves of rest and relaxation through the fabric of that support,
Through the ether that connects and separates you.
And if it's safe for you to rest in the way you wish them to rest,
This deep relaxation,
This can bring a profound peacefulness,
Allowing yourself the softness you wish them to receive.
And if there is no one sleeping beside you,
You can imagine the waves of this wakeful straining,
This pressing up and out of the beguiling confines of sleep,
Pouring out from where you lie into the world,
Perhaps sending tendrils of tension into other homes,
Other lives.
And likewise of course we can imagine the deep rest we can achieve,
Receive,
Pouring out from where we lie on the edge of sleep.
We can imagine gifting peaceful repose into others homes so they rest more fully and perhaps we do too.
This to me feels like a gift of compassion,
That by seeing the impact we have not purely in the immediately obvious,
The practical actions that we take,
But also in the sleepy energy we send into the world and in our loving concern for others well-being,
So we bring beauty to our own way of being.
I thought that was rather lovely and I have absolutely no memory of writing it whatsoever.
I think I must have written it on the aeroplane to Vietnam on our trip this winter.
It feels like I have a kind of resonance in my body of Anton sleeping beside me and me being so deeply aware of not wanting to disturb his sleep with my sort of juddering thoughts,
My range of emotion,
My unstillness.
And then,
And even as I say this,
The memory is beginning to form,
Or perhaps I'm imagining the memory,
But let's say it is remembered,
That then later on the flight,
It was a long way from here,
He did wake and I captured these thoughts on my phone and I've read them to you as they were,
As I captured them.
So,
You know,
Maybe if I spent a little time on them,
They could be tightened up in some way,
But I felt,
Oh gosh,
There was a,
There was a lyrical sleepiness to them,
Almost like I'd written them partially in that dream state.
And as I reflect on them now,
I really love this idea of of really noticing the energetic waves that come out from us and that we receive from others in this most receptive state of sleep,
Or as I write in this piece,
This edge of sleep.
And maybe there's something here,
It feels profoundly beautiful to me,
To be able to capture this idea,
To explore this idea,
Sit with,
Be with,
Sit within this idea.
If we,
If we are feeling,
I just hiccuped,
I'll just capture my thought again.
If we are to sit with this,
That's it.
If we are perhaps noticing that there is tension in our body or tension in our thoughts,
And,
You know,
Maybe to,
To play with,
To experiment with,
Well,
How is it if we really notice either what we're receiving from the outside world and being really discerning then about what is it,
What is it that we really wish to receive?
What are we allowing in?
You know,
Just as we are mindful,
If a stranger comes to the door,
What are we allowing in to our unconscious state?
What thoughts,
What energies are we,
Yeah,
Are we absorbing as we go into our dream place?
And that,
That makes me think about so many things actually about,
You know,
The TV that we consume,
The books that we read,
You know,
What are the energies that we're bringing in to this most precious,
Most holy time of rest?
The time that our bodies are doing so much work on our behalf.
So not only is this a practice in self-compassion,
But we can also see it as a practice in compassion to the world around us.
Maybe the world that's immediately close by if you share your bed with another person,
Or if you have a dog or a cat sleeping on your bed,
You know,
We also,
We are energetic creatures just as they are.
And we,
We know that,
You know,
When we gaze into a dog's eyes and they gaze into ours,
It not only releases oxytocin into our system,
But it also releases oxytocin into theirs.
So when we are rested and restful,
So are they and vice versa.
So,
You know,
Being mindful of what's,
What's the influence that we have in this pre-sleep state and how can reminding our bodies that it's safe,
You know,
Please let it be safe for us to relax,
To let go of the tension and allow our bodies to do this,
This most precious work for us,
This digestion and cell generation and renewal that goes on overnight.
And also to be mindful of how,
You know,
We have a wider influence to this energy field from each of us.
It stretches out,
You know,
Beyond the confines of our home.
And we are all part of this great energetic web that threads throughout our world,
Our universe.
We are made of stardust after all.
So,
Yes,
I'd like to leave you with that.
I've,
Even as I speak,
Actually,
I have this,
This sense that,
You know,
It's something that I often talk with clients about is how we each stand at the centre of our own pond and the ripples that we make,
How they flow out from us.
And of course,
You know,
All of our ponds are interconnected.
None of us really is completely independent of each other as much as we might wish to be.
And at the same time,
There is something here about the boundaries.
So being really mindful of,
You know,
What we are sending out into the world and what we are receiving in from the world too.
So,
There we go.
That's today's reflection.
And I really hope you liked that concept,
That piece,
That perspective.
And as ever,
I send you a hug and a wave.
