Consider Your Relationship With Stillness

Hi everyone,

It's Haley Pinkston.

Today I want to explore the importance of stillness.

In the previous podcast I included a period of silence in the meditation.

And when I teach a meditation in person,

I always like to ask the question,

After the meditation is over,

About how the period of silence was for people.

In an era of constant bombardment of technology,

Hectic schedules,

Alerts and notifications,

Congestion,

Stillness is often seen as a negative thing.

It is seen as unproductive and inefficient.

It has become the norm if you aren't doing multiple things at once,

Then you simply just aren't working hard enough.

But ask yourself,

How engaged can you possibly be when you are doing multiple things at once?

My reminder to embrace stillness and the present moment comes to me in many ways.

When I'm feeling stressed and irritable,

When I'm frustrated with my family.

When I arrive at work and I realize I've been an autopilot,

Not even remembering how I got there,

And I really didn't even appreciate the sole experience of driving.

I missed the opportunity to experience how it feels to have the steering wheel in my hands.

I missed being curious about the scenery all around me.

And I missed exploring the rest of my community who are going about their day.

It also comes to me when my children are saying,

Mom,

Are you listening to me?

Or,

Mom,

I've already told you that.

Or even when I miss hearing what someone has said.

Engaging in the present moment takes practice.

And I will be the first to admit that I'm not perfect at it.

Nor will I ever master perfection.

The moment I start labeling it,

Expecting perfection,

Or beating myself up over an instance where I was stuck in my head,

Dwelling on the past,

Or problem solving the future,

I have lost sight of what this is all about.

We are all doing the best that we can.

And what I know for sure is that when I am engaged in the present moment,

My life is more fulfilling,

More authentic,

And I am more connected than when I am not present.

A meditation teacher of mine,

Cheryl Dick,

Recently said,

Ask yourself,

What is your relationship with the present moment?

So let us consider,

What is your relationship with stillness?

I remember the first time I attended a silent retreat,

And my initial reaction to the situation was a feeling of loneliness.

It felt very lonely to be silent.

And so during the retreat,

I explored the sensation of stillness and loneliness with curiosity.

I didn't realize that that had been my relationship with stillness up until that point.

I now have a greater appreciation for the stillness,

No matter how brief.

In those moments of stillness,

I am present and I am calm.

But it has taken practice to get comfortable with it.

There can be guilt associated with being still.

Stillness can be vulnerable.

It can feel uncomfortable,

Challenging,

Difficult,

Or even scary.

There is an uncertainty and an unknown with stillness.

You can find ways to be still even in the everyday.

Focusing on your breath,

Meditation has helped to build my resilience to seek out the stillness,

Even if there is noise and disruption all around me.

The best way I can describe the stillness of any moment is when I think back to the day my daughter was born.

The moment she looked over at me from the hospital bassinet with those big beautiful eyes,

We connected in the stillness.

Even though we were in an operating room with bright lights,

Monitors were beeping,

And doctors and nurses were bustling around,

It was as though that moment stood still.

At the time,

I wasn't really fully aware of what mindfulness and meditation was,

And just thought that that was the experience of having a child.

But now as I look back,

I realize that any moment can feel like that.

Even simple things like snuggling with mice on the couch,

Watching a sunset,

Washing my hair in the shower.

I just need to be engaged to realize it.

So let us explore stillness together.

I will now take you through a guided meditation.

As always,

At the end of the meditation,

You will hear a soft bell.

It is important to come out of meditation slowly,

So take your time,

There's no rush.

I will be here guiding you through the entire process.

The theme of this meditation is stillness.

Mindfulness is about engaging your attention in the present moment,

On what you are experiencing without judgment.

Let us center our attention and bring awareness to the present moment.

Let us center our attention and bring awareness to the stillness.

Explore this meditation with mindful curiosity,

As you become mindful of your body,

Mindful of your environment,

Mindful of the stillness,

And as you maintain a gentle present moment focus.

Start by finding a comfortable position and let us settle into our breath.

Place your feet flat on the ground with your hands laying comfortably in your lap.

Or if you're sitting on a cushion,

Find a comfortable position with your hands resting in your lap.

Closing your eyes if you prefer,

And become present,

Still,

And relaxed in this moment.

Observe the sensation of the body and notice what you are thinking.

Observe the stillness of the present moment.

As you become more relaxed,

Notice the chatter of your mind starting to quiet.

When your mind wanders,

Come back to the stillness in this present moment.

Being mindful of anything getting in the way,

And let it go on the next exhale breath.

Gently release any tension you notice.

Letting go of anything that might be getting in the way of you being here in this present moment.

Breathing into the stillness,

And exhaling into the stillness.

Remembering it's okay to have thoughts,

And when a thought occurs,

Simply notice the thought without judgment,

And then simply let the thought go on the exhale breath.

Allowing each area of your body to settle into the breath.

Allowing each area of your body to settle into the stillness.

Exploring the sensations in your body mindfully,

With curiosity,

And without judgment.

Let us practice stillness and gratitude.

Ask yourself in silence,

What is my relationship with stillness?

Do not look for an answer to the question,

But instead simply be with the stillness and explore it.

Mindfully engaging your attention in the present moment,

On what you are experiencing without judgment.

For this meditation,

Let us welcome everything,

And simply let go of any expectations.

At any point during this meditation,

If your mind starts to wander,

Simply come back to your breath as an anchor of focus.

At any point during this meditation,

If your mind starts to wander,

Simply come back to the stillness.

Remembering to be kind to yourself.

Breathing into the stillness,

And exhaling into the stillness.

We will take the next few minutes in silence,

Giving you the opportunity to continue to focus on your breath,

As you mindfully maintain a gentle present moment focus.

Let us explore the stillness with curiosity.

I will keep track of the time,

As we take these moments of stillness together.

Thank you.

.

.

Keeping your eyes closed as we integrate back from the meditation.

Start by wiggling your toes and fingers,

Or any part of your body that feels right to you.

Take as much time as you need to come out of the meditation slowly and mindfully.

And when you are ready,

You can open your eyes.

Thank you for joining me in this meditation,

And I hope you enjoyed the experience of exploring stillness.