Overcome Burnout And Find Your Authentic Self: Talk 5 Of 5

So let me start by giving you as I do each week just so we're all on the same page the dictionary definition of burnout.

A state of physical and emotional exhaustion.

It can occur when you experience short or long-term stress in your job or life.

So that suggests that this thing called burnout if we become overwhelmed or trapped that something takes over us.

We've become too absorbed with one topic or one area of our life and typically that can be work it doesn't have to be but we go to work for about 50% of our waking hours I guess so why wouldn't that be in the mix?

But my experience of working on myself with burnout as well as other people over the last 10 years or so is that burnout is just the absence of balance in life.

That's it.

Burnout is the absence of balance in several areas of your life or one particular area of your life.

So if your burnout if overwhelmed has come about because of a job it simply means that you've tipped the balance of your well-being into that job into that role and any other time that you have is absorbed mentally or emotionally while you're still thinking about the working hours.

So balance is the key to all things in life.

If you've got a pen and paper I ask you each week to draw that to write that down.

Balance is the key to all things in life.

Health,

Relationships,

Work,

Finances,

Keeping fit,

Anything.

Balance is the key to all things in life.

You get this it makes I know you connect with that that saying.

I have a logo folks which goes with my online course.

No expense spared again with the support material.

So this really explains everything that I'm trying to put over to you in one simple graphic and again if you've got a pen and a paper make a note you'll be surprised it's quite easy quite simple to sketch.

So this here this top line is the work,

The finances,

The relationship that's not going well,

The health,

The whatever it is in life,

The kids,

It's the noise,

It's the uncertainty,

It's the difficult stuff.

Now this isn't some sort of happy clapper presentation because this is always there for you and I.

It doesn't matter whether you've written books on it and your lecture on this stuff.

I have the wave,

I have the noise,

I have the uncertainty but here's what I'd like you to focus on.

This is always there and sometimes the waves are choppier than at other times but just underneath without exception we always have this,

We always have balance,

We always have an opportunity for self-care,

We always have an opportunity to step back,

To pause,

To find space,

To remind ourselves that it isn't always this,

It isn't always about this.

So I guess the question is how do we find balance in life and over the last four or five weeks I've given talks at this time that you can go back and find a different theme that enables you to gently drop down onto this line and take care of yourself and I'll do the same this week.

I'm going to introduce something in a moment that really does bring you here very very quickly.

So make a note of that,

Leave it in the car for when somebody cuts you up in traffic,

Leave it on the fridge door for when the kids are screaming and you're desperate for,

Just remind yourself this is temporary but always there in some form.

You can decide just to hang around up here and that's when we become burnt out,

Overwhelmed,

Exhausted but what's this?

How can we drop here?

So before I go on to the theme of this week's talk I'd just like to remind you that you and I live in a world that tells us night and day that we need more.

Any screen that you're on,

Whether it's a TV screen,

A cinema screen,

A laptop screen,

A phone screen,

As soon as you connect to anything on that screen there is something called social media,

Advertising,

Marketing and the one constant message is that you and I don't have enough in life.

We need more,

We're living in a position of lack,

We're having to do without and if we can just get this next thing,

If we can just go out and get the next model,

The next partner,

The next job,

The next fashion item,

Whatever it is,

We'll be happy.

Whatever that means,

We'll be happy.

We might even be complete.

What about that?

The very idea that you and I are sitting here,

Incomplete in some way.

So the marketeers and the world out there can give us more stuff that gathers dust.

So what's that got to do with this week's theme?

Well it's gratitude.

Now I know what you're thinking,

Here we go again,

Every self-help book,

Every personal development course or talk has gratitude around it but for good reason.

Every recovery program and I guess we'll move to AI and the 12 steps has its fundamental pillars around reminding you of all that you already have in life,

Of reminding you of how grateful you can be for what you have without the need for more because that constant search can manifest as alcohol,

As drugs,

As sex,

As anything because you're trying to fill a void be simply because you forgot what you already have in life.

The law of attraction,

Wow that's done the rounds for the last 10 years or so since the film The Secret.

The law of attraction,

All about bringing more into your life,

Has its roots in gratitude and realizing all that you have now.

Let me put it another way folks,

If you can't appreciate what you already have,

What makes you think you'll be happy with more?

Let me say that again,

If you can't pause and appreciate what you already have now,

What makes you think you'll be happy with more?

The constant struggle,

Strive,

Chasing,

Searching.

Well I'm going to invite you to call off the search.

Imagine what you can put down just by calling off the search.

Now this doesn't mean you don't want things to come into your life,

That you don't want new,

You don't want experience but it means it flows gently in,

There's no desperation or need.

In fact if the law of attraction is to be believed and I've experienced it myself,

The more you can relax into the moment and be grateful for what you have,

The quicker something that complements it comes down the track.

So there are so many different reasons through this self-help,

Personal development,

Common sense approach to life that say gratitude is really important.

But there is another message here.

I've been using a couple of exercises around gratitude for 20 years in workshops,

Talks,

On my online course and there's one common denominator.

Now I know you can say there's a little anomaly there or that's not quite true there but 95,

99% of the things that people have told me that they're grateful for has very little or no monetary value.

It's the simple things that deliver your deepest needs folks.

It's the simple things that deliver your deepest needs.

Let's call off the search.

It's exhausting,

Demoralizing.

Let's remind ourselves that our life is full.

So the simplest things deliver your deepest needs.

We're going to call off the search.

So how can we bring gratitude into our life more each day?

So here's exercise number one and this is a game changer.

It might seem over simplistic but I really want you just to consider doing this for the next seven days.

It takes less than a minute a day.

16,

17 waking hours.

Give this one minute.

It's a life changer,

A game changer.

So we have in Britain,

I don't know if this travels,

But we have a saying to get out of bed on the right side in the morning.

If you get out of bed on the wrong side you're typically a bit moody,

A bit low,

A bit down.

So how do we get out of bed on the right side each day?

So here's the key.

You know we have that 30 seconds or so when we first wake up and we tend to think okay I'm here,

Where am I?

I'm in bed,

It's Wednesday,

I've got work,

I've got to get the kids to school and before we know it our minds gone.

We're setting ourselves up for a difficult day.

More of the same,

Back into the route.

Well here's the bit that changes things.

Each morning before you get out of bed,

And I've done this with my toddler jumping up and down on top of me at times,

I'd like you to think of three things in that moment that you're truly grateful for,

That you cherish,

That you really appreciate are in your life.

This can be somebody you've never even met,

This can be a thing,

This can be a pet,

This can be the sunlight coming in through the window,

It can be the fact you're stepping out onto carpet,

It can be the fact you're in a bed at all.

You see how basic this gets.

So for the next seven days I'm going to ask you before you get out of bed each day to get into the practice of thinking of three things that you're grateful for in that moment.

Now here's the catch,

There's always a catch.

You can't think of anything that you've already named over those seven days,

So we start to widen our gaze of all that we have.

You'll be amazed when you start to remind yourself what bubbles to the surface.

If your seven days is too long,

Five days,

Three days,

But please have a go because I know the profound difference it can make about bringing gratitude into your life.

So there's exercise number one.

Before you get out of bed each morning,

Use that space where you normally allow your mind to drift to everything that's got to be done and what you haven't got to remind yourself of three things and watch what happens.

Exercise number two.

So you're going to take a blank piece of paper.

Ideally you're going to take a book because a gratitude manual is unbelievable for yourself,

For your well-being and peace of mind.

So you're going to take a piece of paper and at the top of the page you're going to write the word thank you.

That's it,

Write the words thank you and then in the middle of the page you're going to draw just a single heart.

There you go,

You've got it.

So you're going to be left at this point with a blank page with the words thank you and a heart and then I'd like you to pause and I'd like you to think of someone or something that you're grateful for,

That you cherish,

That warms your heart and I'd like you to place the name of that thing or what explains it in your heart on the page.

Really simple exercise.

So now you're going to be left with the words thank you,

The heart and within your heart something that you really really cherish in life.

Now we could finish there,

Just reminding yourself is great but we're going to go deeper.

You've probably noticed that around the page is blank.

I'd like you to take a pen or a pencil and start to write down the reasons,

Remind yourself why you've placed that person or that thing within your heart.

Fill the page,

Just let it keep coming.

Really bubble to the surface how lucky,

How blessed you and I truly are in this life when we reframe and refocus on what we have.

So if I was to put something in my heart now it could be my dog Flo.

She's no longer with us but for many years she was and for Flo I would put gets me out in the rain,

Keeps me fit,

Connects me to people on days where I wasn't going to talk to anyone,

Loves me unconditionally,

Licks me,

Yep that would go on the page,

Meets me at the door no matter what sort of day I've had Flo's there to greet me.

You see how this starts to play out and it doesn't matter what sort of day I'm having,

My remembrance of Flo or if she was still here now would really reframe and snap me out of this monotonous need for control and more.

Does that make sense those two exercises,

Three minutes in the morning,

Three things in the morning for three,

Five or seven days I sound like a doctor.

Take three gratitude pills each morning for the next seven days you'll be much better and then this exercise is beautiful to do on a day where you're feeling a bit low,

A bit sorry for yourself and we all have them.

Put a heart on a page,

Write the words thank you,

Place in your heart whatever it is you're grateful for and fill the page.

You can see the benefit of opening a book and keeping all this in one place.

A flick through that book raises your energy,

Lifts your spirits,

Reminds you of how lucky we are.

So a quick recap folks,

We live in a world that tells us night and day that we need more to go in search,

To chase,

To be desperate for.

That means one thing we haven't got enough.

Now this doesn't mean don't bring things into your life but do it from a different position.

Set your foundation for inner peace and wellness around what you already have right now.

Remind yourself each day,

Each morning,

With each exercise and watch what happens.

It's time to prioritise self-care.

The simplest things deliver your deepest needs.

We're not looking for a large exhaustive bank balance to find inner peace.

It's all around you right now.