Spiritual Inquiry "Who am I?" (Live Replay No. 7)

So welcome everybody,

We'll get started.

This is number 5 of 11 on the Spiritual Self Realisation series on Insight Timer.

I've called this one Life's Questions,

But it's really about spiritual inquiry.

I chose Life's Questions because of the number of texts in the title,

But really it's about the essence of spiritual inquiry.

What it is,

Why it is so important on the spiritual journey and why it runs in parallel with your meditation practice.

So the whole stream is dedicated to that and as you've discovered for those who've been following the streams right since I began number 1 in December,

This is number 7 in total,

But 5 of the 11 in 2021.

I've been building upon each of the themes and deepening the insights and so forth and this one's no different from that.

So welcome to you all whether it's your first time or a number of you can see here have attended most if not all of them.

They all stand alone but also they build upon each other and if you have missed any of the others the replays are now available in audio for the first 3 I think it is.

And perhaps the one that's most relevant to this one,

Although they're all directly relevant,

But I'll be pointing out the essence of spiritual inquiry in some depth tonight.

The ones who really perhaps focus on if you've missed any of the early ones and you wanted to find out a bit more,

There's a replay called What Does It Mean To Go Within and I use this fibre optic lamp as a metaphor for that,

For the whole self-realisation journey and I'll be using that again tonight.

But they all build upon the previous streams so any of the previous ones are irrelevant but that one in particular.

So just to say Ruth you asked a question at the end of the last one about your donation and I checked with Insight Timer and it hadn't come through so I'm not quite sure what happened there but anyway for anybody who's made donations historically or in the future very much welcome them Insight Timer helps fund their work and it helps me share the message worldwide so thank you for that.

So spiritual inquiry really as I say is a bedfellow to meditation.

I sometimes call it two wings,

One angel and in the coming together of those two elements,

The meditation practice and the inquiry that you can really deepen your meditation practice and open up to the realisation of who you really are.

Now over the years I've been sharing this for a lot of years now and every question I've been asked thousands of questions over that time.

Thousands of questions and this might be a surprise to you but really all of the questions that everybody has ever asked about their journey in life and their spiritual practice and the process of spiritual self-realisation all boil down to these three words that I'm going to give you now.

All of the questions boil down to this,

Who am I?

The answer to that question,

Who am I?

And as we've explored already in depth that's not the identity,

That's not the body-mind,

That is something that you have but it isn't that which you are.

And when we look at that question in depth we can start to open up to the deeper truth of who we are.

And by the way particularly inviting questions tonight that you've got around your spiritual practice,

Your spiritual journey,

Any challenges or whatever that you appear to be facing on that process they're very much welcome.

I'll try to get to as many of those as I can as long as they don't disappear off the screen or something.

But before I do that you can be thinking about that.

I want to kind of unpack what I'm saying about why all of the questions come down to resolving that question,

Who am I?

And it really goes back to the thing that I covered on the very first stream on 22nd December last year.

It was based on this fibre optic lamp,

My trusty fibre optic lamp because it's a fantastic metaphor for spiritual self-realisation.

And it's worth going over again and again particularly in this context.

So this fibre optic lamp,

Once again looking at it in this context in response to the question who am I?

We think of ourselves and we experience ourselves as this body-mind,

One of these points of light at the end of the fibre optic here.

And we spend most of our lives looking outward into the world.

And everybody else and everything else appears separate from us.

And as I've pointed out in many different ways now over the several streams that I've been doing,

The meditative journey is simply about changing the point of focus,

Looking down the fibre optic,

First becoming aware of what I refer to as spheres of light,

The pure state I am.

And that's not a personal I am,

It's the infinite I am.

And that's pure being.

And then before even the state I am,

The infinite silence or the infinite awareness or the infinite consciousness that witnesses all of the appearances and the appearance as this body-mind and the experience in that.

So that is the essence of the spiritual journey,

That's the essence of Self Realisation.

And this infinite silence which in this case is the battery,

Actually isn't just at the base but it's actually everywhere and also nowhere.

And it's this infinite essence that ultimately is the resolution to that question,

Who am I?

Just spotted a couple of donations come through there,

Thank you very much to John and Ruth I think it is,

So thank you so much for that,

That's really appreciated for both myself and Insight Herma.

Now taking us a bit further,

The questions that we have in life and the struggles that we have,

I'm wondering why these challenging emotions,

These challenging situations or whatever it occurs in life,

Every single one of those,

And this is neither bad nor good,

It is just the way it is,

Every single one of those questions always,

Always,

Always will come from the identity,

From the identification as this body-mind.

The thought and belief that you are this body-mind and all of the story behind that and the issues that you face around that,

And if you remember the stream Beyond Belief,

Which I'm about to announce the replay on in an audio,

That belief in that creates the experience of being those beliefs and actually is the cause of the suffering.

And actually that's where the questions start to come from because we start to wonder and worry about why all these things are happening to us in life.

So all of the questions come from that identity,

All of them,

End of.

All of the answers,

Insight,

Wisdom,

Truth on the other hand,

Comes or flows naturally from the essence,

The infinite silence which actually is everywhere,

But is the battery in this misfire,

And that switch from identification at this end of the fiberoptic to realization of the infinite silence is where all of the wisdom and all of the clarity and all of the resolution of the challenges,

Of the questions is going to come from.

So whenever a question is presented at an event like this,

Whether it's live or in person,

The thing that I hear most when people are asking questions,

And these are all okay because they help,

One person's question is everybody's question and they are very,

Very important because when we start to use the practical inquiry we can start to see where the flawed beliefs and thinking comes from.

The key essence when somebody's asking a question,

That I always see,

Always hear whether it's in writing or expressed in person,

What I see is beliefs,

I see identity,

And the belief in that case of mistaken identity,

As very real as these challenges,

Emotional challenges,

Trauma and so forth are,

All of them come from that space.

And so what we're doing always is opening to a change in perspective from identification and belief in this as to who you are,

Moving to looking at it from a much bigger perspective,

The infinite perspective of the infinite consciousness or the infinite awareness,

And then trusting in this and this alone we can start to open up and see the beliefs,

See the emotional trauma,

And see all of that apparent blockages dissolving,

Actually ultimately in the end,

Naturally and effortlessly.

And in fact we spent the whole of the last stream looking at that process,

Dissolving emotional trauma,

Which I also said was central to self-realisation,

Using the power of the infinite silence or infinite awareness that you are alone.

And the same is true with spiritual inquiry.

It's about coming to looking at things from this space rather than going with thought belief.

Remember I said last time,

The key insight I offered you on the transmuting fear interlogue was this,

Thought cannot heal your pain,

Presence will transform it.

Thought cannot heal your pain,

Presence will transform it.

So we're moving from the identification with thought and belief to presence,

Which we said was the infinite silence,

The infinite consciousness,

The infinite awareness,

The essence,

The source.

So that insight applies equally to the inquiry process,

Because there's always going to be pain and suffering with identity.

They are bedfellows,

They go hand in hand,

And it's neither right nor wrong,

It's just a function of the case of mistaken identity,

Which creates an inner sense of separation from the essence that you truly are,

Which then manifests as an outer sense of separation,

Not only from the true essence of who you are,

But from everybody else,

And the beliefs and the trauma and the emotional body gets built up from that space.

That's how it works.

So going back to the key question that I said all of the questions boiled down to,

Which was the words,

Who am I?

I want to offer you another insight here now that will unpack again as we go along.

So listen to this carefully,

You might even want to jot this down.

Who am I?

The question dissolves the questioner and the self is realised.

Let me say that again.

Who am I?

The question dissolves the questioner and the self is realised.

So let's just look at that in the context of this metaphor.

The questions,

You remember I've said,

Are always coming from identity and there's nothing wrong with this body-mind experience.

It's a beautiful gift from the infinite silence,

The infinite essence,

The true self to experience itself for it would not be able to do that without this body vehicle.

It would not be able to do that without that.

So the body vehicle is not a problem.

It's the identification with it is where the problem starts to arise.

So who am I?

The question dissolves the questioner and that's all about what we were talking about last time,

The transmuting fear into love process.

The power of awareness alone will dissolve,

Resolve and lead to the realisation of all of the fundamentally flawed beliefs and issues that you have about who you are.

So the question when asked deeply,

And we've done the Who am I meditation in many different ways in the streams so far,

And we'll do it again tonight and again and again,

And we keep on doing that.

It's fundamental.

It's all about moving away from the identity to the realisation of the infinite essence.

So that process is a process of dissolution.

It's a process of dissolution,

Dissolving all of the thoughts,

All of the beliefs,

All of the case of mistaken identity to come to this space,

This infinite essence of realisation.

So the question ultimately dissolves the questioner,

The identity in other words,

And the self,

And this isn't a personal self,

The true self is infinite,

Essence,

Infinite awareness,

Infinite consciousness,

And the self is realised.

And it is a realisation,

That's why the word realisation is there in self realisation.

It's oh my gosh,

I,

Infinite I,

Am that.

And as that flowers,

And as that is seen,

It becomes self-evident,

True self-evident,

That not only are you that,

You've always been that,

And will always be that.

And that this appearance as the body-mind is a vehicle through which that chooses to express and experience itself in infinite variety.

And it's that realisation that leads to the experience of peace,

Grace,

Joy,

All these things gratitude in a very,

Very pure way,

That's the perfume of that expression,

And the unique expression in your body vehicle.

And the other metaphor I've used a few times on the streams already is like a diamond,

A multi-faceted diamond.

Your body-mind,

Your body vehicle is one of the facets,

And we see the beauty of the diamond by the light glinting off the surface.

But the facet is intrinsically connected to the whole diamond and is in fact one with it,

And the luminosity of the diamond comes from within.

So that's just another way of expressing that we are all this,

Interconnected,

Always.

So that's central,

That change in perspective from the identity perspective to the infinite space of infinite awareness.

So I hope that's all making sense to you.

That in essence is the essence of spiritual inquiry,

And when that's integrated with your meditative journey,

And that actually what you're doing when you're sitting down and meditating first as a practice,

Is actually like an energetic bridge to the realisation of that which never went anywhere.

Now you remember if you were on the last stream,

And if you weren't I'll just explain it briefly again now,

And we'll do an exercise on it again shortly,

Is that what we were getting you to focus and notice last time was that there's a witness within you that is you that is untouched,

Unmoving,

Unblemished by the appearance,

All the many appearances,

Whether it be emotions,

Sensations,

Whatever's happening in what we see as the external world.

So that's all making sense so far,

And I can see a quick hello there from Suzanne in Nova Scotia.

So let's just recap on that exercise again,

The one that I started off with at the very beginning,

And then I'm going to invite you to share any questions you've got and maybe also your responses to this exercise so that we can look at those.

So we're going to do the Who Am I meditation exercise again,

I'm going to go right back to basic with that one.

It's very simple,

Very brief,

If it's the first time you've done it don't worry it's great,

Anybody can do this,

And if it's the 20th or 200th time you're doing it,

Fantastic,

Because the more that you do this the more you'll open to this infinite awareness that you are.

So just close your eyes now.

Right before just bringing your attention to your body.

Just simply,

Silently,

Noticing the phenomena,

Whether it be breath,

Emotions,

Sensations,

Feelings,

Without any judgment about what's here.

And then asking the question inside.

Who am I?

Who am I?

And just resting with that.

And just seeing if anything emerges for you there.

Just watch,

Just allow.

Who am I?

And if anything comes just make a note of that mentally.

Don't try and analyse it.

And then with your eyes still closed.

Who am I without memory?

Who am I without memory?

And just rest with that.

Who am I without memory?

Good.

So if you want to you can just open your eyes gently now.

And it would be really good if a few people could share what if anything came for them there.

And then we'll see what other questions emerge from that.

So if you want to pop those in the comments box that would be good.

Whilst we're waiting for that I can say hello to Maisha who has just joined us as well.

Happy day to you as well.

A giant electrical blob.

That's the first time we've had that one.

A giant electrical blob.

Tracy got I am divinity made manifest.

And then okay and so Carlotta got breathing sensing human then changed to awareness.

Excellent.

So actually this one giant electrical blob is actually not that far from the truth because this infinite silence,

This infinite awareness,

This infinite field of essence that we are is enormous in fact it's infinite and it is a giant energetic field that is aware of itself.

So I suspect although that's an interesting way of putting it this is what you are starting to open to there Lana.

Divinity made manifest.

Yes if we want to use the word divine for this essence,

This source,

This infinite silence then yes we are that and also its expression so this is actually a good awareness to come to.

Particularly like Carlotta's what she's showing there because she moved from what I'm suspecting from the first question which is who am I which will almost always go to identity if you've not done this exercise before i.

E.

The identity as a human.

Breathing to awareness and that is true.

We are awareness.

Awareness is another word for infinite silence or infinite consciousness or source or essence or true self and what you remember I explained at length from the previous streams taking away memory which comes from belief which comes from thought takes away the opportunity of the mind to go to memory and identify with memory.

Typically in our lives we're living from memory or imagination and memory is based on the false identity of belief.

So this is really good Carlotta I'm delighted that you got that.

Nothing came up for question one says Ruth.

Free of labels came up for question two perfect.

Free of labels because we have so many labels and really labels are just another really another form of belief and if you believe in the labels you limit yourself to those labels and you become the experience of those labels.

So the true essence the true awareness comes from a freedom from labels and identity and beliefs all the same thing.

So this is a really good way of it being expressed Cynthia saying I am peace.

Not only that Cynthia as it deepens this is great I'm glad that you got that as it deepens this you will see that not only are you peace but actually you are the very source of that peace itself and that the experience of peace in the human form is like a perfume of that infinite science or that infinite essence and that's how we experience peace and this is the peace that's referred to as the peace that passeth all understanding.

So great thank you for sharing that Cynthia.

Who am I without memory?

Stefan shares with us that he could feel the body relaxing.

This is great news and I know Stefan quite well we've chatted a lot over the last few years and this is a really good thing for you Stefan that you could feel the body relaxing.

One of the first responses actually from meditation is a relaxation response but also in this context of the spiritual inquiry as you see all of these identities they're like mini tensions in the body and as we move away from those tensions there is a relaxation and actually also when people tend to have quite big shifts in awareness one of the things that can happen is that the body just has gone into such a deep relaxation and integration it can almost feel like flaked out for a while because the body needs to integrate this new level of awareness.

So that's good that for you that you've shared that Stefan.

Bob got I am.

So this is starting to get close this the I am there is actually this part of the metaphor the sphere that I referred to as spheres of light in different traditions is called other things but the I is important to understand here is not a personal light it's an infinite I but as we have explored in previous streams there's even something before this pure universal beingness that can even sense or witness observe the I amness and that's the infinite awareness of the infinite silence so sometimes I'll refer to this as before I am before I am before I am people use that phrase quite a lot without really thinking about that even that is a phenomena this state I am and this that you are is before and beyond all phenomena.

Lana smiling at the response there Alex saying without memory I am spaciousness good and the spaciousness here is an infinite spaciousness it's before and beyond all concept before and beyond space and time as we know it in the human domain is simply infinite awareness of infinite silence so this is good that you're starting to see that.

David said silence and then nothing and this is an important way of it being expressed because we're so focused on things in the human domain thingness thingness but thingness is limited and we don't give any real thought or consideration to nothing or no thing now no thing or no thingness is actually unlimited unbounded is actually infinite so this is why the true essence is referred to as no thing because thingness is limited and no thing is unlimited and you are the unlimited essence so good that you've shared that David Tracy then said I am my perfect self without memory and this is also accurate because the true perfection of the universe the essence is this infinite silence this infinite awareness it always remains untouched unblemished unmoved as we explored in in depth on the last stream transmuting fear into love and we were getting to recognize that that actually not only is it here now and is it always been here it's you are actually in those moments of silence when you're not identified with what's going on here you're actually experiencing it here now this is not at some future date but it's actually here now is the infinite awareness spirit Tracy says well the spirit is one of these words that I don't tend to use a lot but when it comes up it's worth clarifying what it is that we're talking about because if you were to go around the world and use the word spirit in this context it may mean many things to many different people it may mean many different things to many different people because in some context spirit if you think of say for instance if you came from Christian type traditions then you might think of words like Holy Spirit now that is a phenomenon and that's much closer to this actually the essence the state I am the pure essence I am the pure beingness so that if I was going to use the word spirit I would think of it in terms of spheres of light or the pure state I am the purest expression of the universe is this infinite I am this infinite I am but because it's a phenomenon and can be seen as an appearance then what that which you truly are must be before even we'll use in this context spirit or spheres of light or the pure I am so we need to be a bit careful with our terminology so that we don't get confused what we're talking about Philip is saying I felt the body tensing and resisting after the first question realization after question two but resistance came back at the end okay so this is going back to something that I were pointing out earlier that this this tension that arises from identity and that's what Philip was starting to see there a recognition of that and also because the identity wants to hold on to itself as identity and it fears its greatest fear the identity's fear the body mind's greatest fear is that of its demise and he equates that with his death so as we start to open into awareness a resistance to that can come from the body mind and it's a function of the identity it's a function of the identity and in fact actually all of the questions that we have are an expression of resistance actually it's not bad and it's not good it's simply an invitation to move beyond that resistance so then Philip said he after the second question he got a sense of relaxation so there was what was happening there there was a moving away from identification and the tension that comes with that and then he says resistance came back in the end and what's happened there is that there's been a movement a movement away from identity which led to the relaxation and then as mind kicks back in so to speak maybe after we come out of the exercise there's a rush back to identification because this what this mind that we call our mind what has been so used to being front and centre stage it's always going to want to be in control and so that will lead to a sense of resistance so there's been a resistance relaxation resistance and there's always resistance at this end at this end of the spectrum there's always it may be vary from quite mild barely noticeable through to full on emotional trauma challenges and so forth so this movement through the meditative journey and the realisation of self you could say is the deepest relaxation in the universe it's such a profound relaxation it's before and even beyond the concept of relaxation before that to be relaxation there has to be some tension so that's a function of duality what I just said there was for there to be relaxation there has to be some tension this that you truly are is before and beyond both of those but in the body we will experience a sense of a sense of relaxation so if anybody's got any burning questions now now is a good time to start sharing those what about sleeping says Bob I find it the best meditation the best meditation of our yes sleeping is actually a very good a very good thing and whilst we may not think the stuff going on but as we relax into particularly into deep sleep there is a natural relaxation that's taking place because in that we are moving away from mind identification and when we're dreaming what's typically coming up there's actually three main types of dream there's you've had a stressful day type dream and where everything gets jumbled up in a dream state of everything that's kind of happened in the day that's a level one type dream so that can happen you know after a say like you've had a stressful day a level two type dream tends to come deeper from within the subconscious or psyche or whatever names you want to give it and can go back into very early life or earlier in life and it does it in a very kind of graphical using pictures and symbol symbolic type language that has much deeper meaning beyond beyond should we say words and all of these types of dreams are invitations to move beyond what will be some kind of conditioning and emotional trauma being held and that's why emotions and so forth can often appear in dreams and then there's a deeper level of dream which is level three type dreams which comes from from deeper within the collective consciousness that is beyond the personal but when there's not dreaming there then we've started to move more fully away from identification and just a deep rest is there and sleep is also a great integrator it's particularly if you if you've had a shift in awareness or shift in consciousness from an event like this then sleep is a great integrator awareness hasn't gone anywhere it's just that the body's moved into a deeper space of relaxation and awareness is simply still present however but Bob says however what about our subconscious work sorting like a computer things and they wake up refreshed I'm not sure if that's a question or a statement but but that process is is obviously going on and that's when dreaming particularly the level two type of dreams I was talking about can start to emerge and they appear from the space of normal waking consciousness to be quite bizarre but what they are is is using signs and symbols to point out stuff that we're carrying around insiders energetically spiritual speaking to allow us to move beyond it it's showing us that they're actually pieces of information that they're like dreams are like your own lived life and if you've had lots of dreams it may be that you don't necessarily wake up feeling rest but if you've had a good deep night of sleep and then you've moved through that and then you will wake up feeling refreshed if there's been a deep resting take take place level two thank you Bob okay that clarifies it for you Bob so I'm glad that that makes makes sense so dreams are great actually good tools as far as the spiritual self-realization journey is concerned because they're showing you stuff in level one dreams the stresses that you've hung on from the day level two dreams deep from deeper within the subconscious or deeper within the psyche stuff that you can in most a lot of those cases can go back to childhood events and so forth that you're still holding on to and that's resulting in emotional blockages and trauma within within the body and somebody asked me on a retreat once how to deal with fear-based dreams and the answer is the same as what we did last on the last stream which is about the process of transmuting very into love we don't need to remember all of the detail of the dreams the energy of it is still there so when we use the infinite silence meditation and witness the phenomena so we can have the awareness of that dream even if you don't have all the detail be there in the meditative space and just witness it from the space of awareness then effortlessly the infinite awareness of the infinite silence will start to dissolve the trauma that's encoded within that dream language you don't need to analyze it if there's some insight around it that you need to see or is important to recognize that will arise naturally out of that space of awareness so you can do this when you've woken up and you've had say like a nightmare or a bad dream you can get into the meditative space get into that witnessing space that i talked about at length last time using the infinite silence meditation let that energy be felt be witnessed be seen but without any judgment and the power of awareness alone will then dissolve and resolve that unresolved trauma and it may happen in one go it may take several goes but we don't need to judge that it will always be in the way that's right for you and what you are ready for now because this infinite field of awareness is infinitely intelligent infinitely powerful that which we consider to be our intelligence coming from identification with mind is so small in comparison to that so key is to place trust within that awareness and the trust becomes the knowing so that process then could be used for dreams which are just another form of spiritual indicator of stuff that we're carrying inside stuff that we're carrying inside so this whole process of inquiry as we start to open up to it we don't just sit down and meditate but we start to pay attention to things like dream language to triggers that are happening in daily life then when those triggers arise and we talked a bit about that last time various people shared things about triggers you can take each one of those to be an invitation to dissolve that which you are not and look at it directly head on from the space of awareness and let the power of that awareness dissolve and the same goes for your questions if questions are coming up why am I struggling with this why is this such an issue for me like why is this emotion hanging around and so forth always always come back to first recognizing who is it that has this issue who is the one that has this issue now the identity of a person me of course well my question is who are you was that issue forever here or was it like we talked about last time an appearance like a wave a phenomena and who was the one or what is the one that can recognize the appearance of an emotion the appearance of a dream the appearance of a phenomena and is that one touched by that appearance by that phenomena and we explored in depth last time the awareness that actually that which is witnessing that which is witnessing remains always untouched unmoved and unblemished and in placing trust in that it becomes the knowing and the trauma the identity the beliefs the issues in the dreams simply will have no choice but to return and dissolve into silence so when the questions arise we approach these in the same way okay identity has a question here it's neither good nor bad it's a question it's an invitation to look at this from the space of awareness recognize that it is the identity that has the question and that the resolution of it the answer to it is already available to you from within as this infinite awareness and we can get into the meditative space simply rest with the question recognize the untouched awareness and then just naturally see what evolves from there without trying to analyze it without trying to think about it without trying to second guess without trying to imagine what the best outcome might be the infinite field of awareness has all of this capacity and more to resolve all of that and the resolution can often be surprising so it's all about trusting awareness trusting trusting trusting until that trust becomes the knowing becomes the realization so I trust all this is making sense remember our key pointing here is who am I the question dissolves the questioner and the self is realized so it's okay for there to be a question but you can know that it's come from identity you can place trust in awareness and let that and that alone speak from the silence dissolve the issues dissolve the trauma and this is the way to rapidly deepen now our spiritual practice by combining meditation with inquiry the two wings one angel and they become one and the end point of this journey is the realization that you are in fact infinite awareness or infinite silence or infinite consciousness or source this all making sense brilliant Michelle says so that's obviously making sense to Michelle at least anyway so this is why folks that all the realized beings over the millennia have always combined meditation with spiritual inquiry because it's the integration of what appears to be two things but it's actually just one the coming together of those there's only going to be one result and that's the realization of the self there's only going to be one result and that's the realization of the self so that's obviously working for Tracy and Cynthia and Lana I'm not sure I understand the other language there but I'll take it that's a yes so Bob says yes and ask a question when going to sleep I wake up and the answer is often there fantastic and that is actually a really effective tool that Bob's pointing out there because if we can just rather wrestling with the question struggling with the question trying to get at the question from the space of mind which is only going to result in a limited response if we trust awareness if some and even if it's not sleep just trust awareness there's a question is emerging not sure then trust awareness as you go about the day and then often in a moment of inspiration you could be in the shower you could be in the bath you could be driving to work and inside a light bulb moment comes where has that light bulb moment come from it has come from within it has come from the wisdom of the universe that's within you it's because you've moved away from identity as this body mind to a space of awareness and those moments of inspiration those moments light bulb moments you can trust they'll often come as a surprise and there can often be many dimensions to that that you would not have got to from mind I often say in the meditation in silence we trust in silence we trust and I'll also say in the meditation in silence you will realize your truth in silence you will realize your truth and then I go on to say in truth you will realize you are silence infinite silence always always always come back to awareness always come back to silence for that in the silence all of the wisdom of the universe is accessible to you and it's accessible to you now so from this point forward your invitation here is to integrate your spiritual practice with the awareness based meditation with spiritual inquiry the resolution of that question who am I the question dissolves the questioner and the self is realized it's ultimately profoundly simple folks only mind makes it complicated let me just have a quick look at comments yes thank you very clear Lana saying that comes from a past on the 10-day silent retreat yeah I'm aware of that the people do those things so thank you for sharing that and Lana and Bob thank you very much for your donations that's much appreciated the donations as I've said they go to insight timer and myself that helps fund what insight timer do and helps me share the message with more people so I'll go to a longer meditation in a little hour but once you see if there's any other key questions that anybody's got anybody wants to share here now before I before I do that but I but I get the sense that people are seeing the importance now of this spiritual inquiry and looking at this issue who am I recognizing the one with the question isn't actually who you are and that the resolution to it and the wisdom around it resides within this silent essence within which you can recognize that in your spiritual practice that all of the questions are coming from the identity I then we're onto a game changer and we start to move to trusting that awareness and the wisdom will flow and the more that you do this and the more that you integrate it into your practice the more that this will deepen and deepen naturally and you'll find that more and more insight and more flowering of that wisdom will just come naturally and effortlessly and it becomes a fundamental part of your practice which will then move you beyond practice into realization David says you mentioned duality earlier could I share some insights about the term non-duality yeah sure okay so the human let's just talk about both in order to sort of be able to unpack this further so the human experience that we have and identify with really revolves around what appears to be a duality experience it's based on opposites because to have any experience at all we need a number of things in place we need space we need time we need form our physical bodies and contrast and that contrast comes from what is it in the dual experience opposites and the core elements of duality are we use the words love and fear love and fear and this polarization between love and fear and hence the whole of last dream transmuting fear into love comes from initially that case of mistaken identity that belief that you are this body mind it creates a kind of sense of an inner split and this polarity of love and fear appears the more that we're moved towards awareness and silence we're in more that we are closer and centered in love and moving towards the non-dual experience which I'll come to in a moment the more that we are identified with the body mind the more that we're at the fear end of the spectrum and in emotional challenges and trauma and struggles in life all of the duality experiences is expressed within these two polarities these two ends of the spectrum love fear and indeed all of the other emotional expressions are simply different just different expressions of that polarity different different elements within that different facets of that fear end of the agenda.

Now in spiritual circles there's a lot of talk about non-dual teachings and you can even and there are different words for that I'm not schooled in the eastern traditions all of the realizations were direct so I come at it from a very contemporary and western type perspective and one of the streams I was talking about the infinite and the finite the finite being the physical domain in our human experience finite bodies and I talked about it in the same context as as sound always returns to silence and sound is a vibration and that you cannot have sound without silence I also said in that stream that you can have silence without sound and that is the absolute is the infinite silence and the finite the finite domain the body the form the physical universe the universe the physical universe is an appearance within the absolute and the absolute is the non-dual there is no in the absolute there are no phenomena there's no space no time no form no anything just the absoluteness of silence that is first born so to speak is an awareness of itself as that just simply aware of itself as that and that is the non-dual and so you'll hear in spiritual teachings about non-dual teachings what they are all about is pointing at this non-dual essence that which is before even the concept of duality that's what the non-dual means it's the absolute essence and the realization of the self is about moving from this dual experience into the realization of that which is before and beyond duality non-dual yet also recognizing and this is very important so once the absolute is realized that the finite and the infinite the infinite are not separate the infinite chooses to express as the finite in order to get to experience itself to come to know itself in its own experience and hence your form my form your form my form so the finite and the infinite infinite is like sound and silence the finite is just a vibration within the infinite which is the infinite vibration or the stillness or the silence or the awareness so that's what people are talking about when they're talking about non-dual there's a spiritual trap here by the way because when you the real the absolute is realized one of the traps that can be falling into is that you can start to get into a language that says there is no this and there is no whatever because everything really ultimately stems from this non-dual essence but actually without the finite without the expression of the finite this there wouldn't be the opportunity to express and experience itself so to deny the finite is like missing part of the picture and there are elements within spirituality that will do that and then people who start to do that in my experience of what I've observed over a number of years still suffer and still struggle with the emotional body and that's because there's a kind of denial going on of the human expression and the human experience to be truly at one with oneself the absolute is realized and the emotional body is dissolved and the human experience is embraced while still knowing that one is this and then eventually all of that belief systems and energetic and energy in the emotional body is dissolved and resolved and then one can rest in and be able to express that so be careful a little bit when talking about non-dual yes we need to look at the non-dual and you could refer to the non-dual is the dual as Verena has put it there but the finite expression is of equal importance is of equal importance so don't get overly obsessed with the absolute or the non-dual both are necessary both are important and neither are separate from the other they are should we say enfolded within each other so hopefully that answers you David a good okay glad it does so I'm conscious we've already been going nearly an hour and a quarter and we've had a few good questions if any more want to be shared pop them up there but I always like to do a meditation on the streams so let's do that now and I'll just say a quick hello to Ali who says she's a little bit late but don't worry Ali I will be putting audio replays of all of the live streams on insight timer because for some reason they're not allowing the video replays at the moment I'm not sure entirely why that is so let's have a meditation now let's bring all of that into the meditation remembering that we're resolving the question who am I and that the source of the wisdom lies within and as always this is the infinite silence meditation which emerged as part of the realization it's a very powerful meditation because it comes from awareness and you are awareness so if you're new to it just go with it if you've done it dozens of times with it before also just go with it so just getting yourself comfortable now and closing your eyes and as you close your eyes just like before becoming aware of the phenomena the sensations the breath any emotions feelings and just simply allowing all these phenomena to be here without any judgment.

Just acceptance.

And as the phenomena are watched recognizing there is a witness that simply silently sees witnesses the phenomena resting at one's attention here.

And now just be open from your heart to the experience of the spheres or spheres of light.

Nothing to do.

Nothing to visualize.

Just be open.

This energy of spheres of light is the state I am infinite.

I am pure being.

And it too is witnessed sensed which means you are before I am.

And even this silent witness now is like some ice in an ocean a sliver of ice and it's dissolving melting it's becoming one with the ocean effortlessly.

Silently merged with the ocean.

From the ocean is an ocean of infinite silence infinite awareness.

In silence we trust.

In silence.

You will realize your truth.

In truth you will realize you are silence infinite silence infinite.

Always here.

Untouched.

Unmoved.

Unblemished.

Eternal essence.

This rarified atmosphere of space.

Atmosphere of silence.

Transforms.

Transmutes.

Dissolves.

All that you are not.

Effortlessly.

Silently.

The eternal essence is realized.

Be still.

And know.

Eternity.

Always.

Theater.

Always present.

Now.

So continuing to rest in this,

As this,

Infinite silence.

In a moment,

I'll ring the ting sha bells.

Three times.

And as the sound of the bells is gently faded away,

Resting still as awareness.

As infinite silence,

Aware of the body.

The chair you're sat in.

Or whatever you may be lay on,

Knowing this awareness always remains.

And you are it.

Eternally.

And whenever the moment is right for you,

Just gently opening your eyes.

Namaste.

Good.

Good.

So thank you for participating in that.

A few thank yous popping up here from Davey,

Delicia,

Shana,

Tracy,

Stefan.

If there's any burning questions,

Do pop them in there.

We are at the allotted time,

But I'm happy to take anything if there's anything that anybody wants to ask.

But whilst I'm just checking that,

Just to remind you that a number of things.

The next stream in the series,

Number six of eleven,

Is about trusting the heart.

And in fact the very first audio I put on to Insight Timer was called Trusting and Daring Not To,

Which had a profound impact on quite a lot of people.

So I'm going to talk about that at length last time,

The whole subject of trust,

What it really means to trust,

And why we place our trust in the wrong place most of the time.

And how to move into that space of trusting the awareness.

So that's the 19th of January,

A Wednesday,

8pm UK time.

These are twice weekly at the moment.

8pm UK time.

And for those that can't make it,

We are able to extract at least the audios and put them on Insight Timer as a replay.

The first three are currently on Insight Timer and we'll be adding more as they become available.

Each one just requires a bit of work and a bit of editing.

So I am putting the edited audios on there.

As I say,

The first three are available now,

If you look on my timeline.

They'll all say live on IT replay or something like that.

So the next one is called Trusting the Heart.

And if you can't make those times,

Look out for the replays.

There's also,

Because somebody asked me,

And this is on a trial basis,

I've opened a group,

It's a public group,

It's called Nothing Special.

Which is kind of like one of the headline titles of the series,

Nothing Special!

Nothing Special!

And what I'll be doing is I'll be posting all of the replays in the audio versions in there as they become online as well.

So you can either find them on my timeline on Insight Timer or in the group.

So you're welcome to join that group.

Thank you once again for the donations that have come through tonight and on previous occasions.

That's much appreciated from myself and Insight Timer,

So thank you very much for that.

So a key resource of the ones that I've done so far,

Of which the audios are available on Insight Timer,

The one that probably all are directly relevant to this,

Perhaps the one that goes most directly to this who am I question,

Is what it means to go within,

Which is the very first live I did on Insight Timer.

So that replay is available now.

And you'll now recognise it by this fibre optic lamp as the cover photo.

So do have a look at that one if you missed the earlier lives,

Do have a look at them all.

But in particular in relation to tonight,

That one.

Bob is saying,

How do you suggest we release that that no longer serves us letting it go?

Bob,

That is exactly what the whole of the last stream was about,

Which was called transmuting fear into love.

I'll be having an edited audio version of that on Insight Timer shortly.

So do look out for that and maybe join the group as well.

But in essence,

The kind of short and sweet answer to that is by using the power of this awareness,

This infinite silence,

Coming into that space,

Letting whatever it is that's here,

An emotion,

A block,

Or whatever you want to call it,

Whatever label you want to get it for that to be there,

To be witnessed directly,

Felt fully.

And in that pure witnessing of that and the full feeling of it,

The power of awareness alone will dissolve it.

That's all.

We spent an hour and a half on looking at that one issue last time.

So I do recommend you look out for the audio of transmuting fear into love when it becomes available.

But that in essence is it.

To get into the space of awareness,

Recognize that one is awareness,

Face in the body,

Feel the emotion,

The whatever it is that's here,

Let the power of awareness,

Trust that awareness,

The awareness becomes the knowing and that awareness alone will return and dissolve all that you are not and anything that no longer serves you back to the silence,

The awareness.

It is profoundly simple and profoundly powerful.

You are already this.

The group name is called Nothing Special!

So that replay,

Which explains what I've just said there in depth,

Isn't yet available on audio,

But it will be hopefully sometime in the next week or two.

They have to go through the approval process of Insight Timer,

So it takes a few days.

But anyway,

I'm probably a couple behind on editing at the moment.

Stefan's put the group name there below your comment,

Bob.

So you can see it there.

So look out for that,

But in essence it's what I've described,

Witnessing,

Feeling and letting the power of awareness do the work.

And that way it becomes effortless.

So that's it in a nutshell.

Who else has said that?

Michelle's saying thank you.

Bob's happy with that I think.

Enjoy your day,

Be happy.

Indeed.

I wish that for everybody.

The other thing to say,

If you're not familiar with my timeline on Insight Timer,

There are seven versions of the Infinite Silence Meditation.

In fact,

There's probably eight.

But there's a series of seven,

Numbered one of seven to seven of seven,

And they vary in length from quarter of an hour to an hour and a half long.

The quarter of an hour one is what I call the max guidance one.

There's very little silence in that.

That contains all of the pointings so that you can become familiar with that process,

That journey of coming down the fibre optic lamp and coming to recognise this untouched essence as infinite silence.

So that's the max guidance one.

Each of the ones after that increase the amounts of silence in it so you can become more and more familiar and more and more comfortable with the meditation up to an hour and a half long.

The idea is that you can use that over seven days,

Seven weeks,

Seven months,

Seven years,

But the whole point of it is to be able to get you to the point where you can do this for yourself.

That's the essence of everything I share,

Everything I point at,

Is to be able to get to the space where it becomes the natural flow.

So use those,

They're on the timeline,

Numbers one to seven.

If you're unfamiliar with the meditation then probably best to start off with the fully guided one and then move to the 22 minute and then the 29,

Then the 40 or whatever it is,

Increasing duration.

And then eventually you'll be able to do that meditation and come to this space of awareness instantaneously.

And then meditation will stop being a practice and it will start being that which you truly are.

So do try those Michelle,

I'm glad that you're looking forward to trying those.

I keep on emphasising the importance of an awareness based meditation.

Awareness based meditation is not visualisation,

It's not based on phenomena.

It's about coming to this which is before and beyond phenomena.

Coming to that which is before and beyond phenomena.

If you use this approach to meditation it will be a game changer.

And if you use the spiritual inquiry that we've spoken about at length tonight,

Then that is another game changer and then you're really going to accelerate the spiritual journey.

All the tools you need you already have.

My role is simply to show you that which you already have.

I cannot give it to you because you are already this.

But I can point the way.

I can point the way.

And you are the way.

Did you hear that?

You are the way.

That which you are seeking is that which you already are.

You just need to recognise it,

To realise it.

That's all.

Simple,

Profound,

Powerful truth.

And you don't need to believe a word I say because as it is realised it will become obvious.

Oh my gosh.

I,

Infinite I,

Am that.

So simple.

Good,

So that's enough from me,

Enough talking.

I've pointed out the resources,

I've pointed out the group which is called Nothing Special.

I am back here live on Wednesday and if you can't make Wednesday do look out for the audio replays.

Thank you so much again for the donations and I'm going to leave you with a bit more harp.