Who Is There To Enlighten? (Live Replay No. 14)

So welcome everybody.

I'm Philip Wade here from the Universal Studio in North Yorkshire.

Welcome to the live stream.

Tonight's stream is entitled Who is there to enlighten?

And really the main point I want to draw out in this stream.

I have touched on it before in the previous streams but if I say it this way there's no I in enlightenment.

There's no I in enlightenment.

I don't mean the spelling of the word enlightenment but I mean the personal identity I,

The ego I,

The one that believes that all that it is is this body-mind complex.

That and enlightenment aren't bedfellows.

They don't sit together.

It's a non-personal thing.

So the idea that when I will be enlightened is trying to set an impossible goal.

One is the enlightenment and this expression that you have,

This body vehicle is something that you have but it's not that which you are.

And that's why when we're on the path of self-realisation there can be this tendency to be the seeker.

And seeking is a good thing at first in that moving from a complete state of unawareness to starting to open to a deeper calling,

A recognition that there must be or sense that there must be more to life and indeed there is.

But if one is the eternal seeker then one won't be the realiser.

And I like to summarise this in a few little phrases that I'm going to offer you now about self-realisation.

And I'll say these a couple of times to kind of emphasise the point.

Don't worry Yvonne,

We're just getting into it.

So the phrases I want to offer you,

The insights I want to offer you come in three key lines and it's like this.

Realising,

Not seeking.

Seeing,

Not looking.

Finding,

Not searching.

So let me say those again.

Realising,

Not seeking.

Seeing,

Not looking.

And finding,

Not searching.

And the whole point of that is to point people at that which they are seeking they are in fact already that.

Or I think Rumi puts it this way,

That which you are seeking is seeking you.

And it's the coming together and the recognition that one is in fact the infinite silence or the infinite awareness which are kind of equivalents as I often express it.

Then what the invitation of the self-realisation journey is about is to move beyond seeking.

Beyond seeking.

Being an internal seeker to being a realiser or the realisation more accurately.

One is the realisation,

Oh my gosh!

I,

And this is not a personal I as I was emphasising in the title of this,

This is not a personal I.

I am that and I here is the infinite I and that is the infinite silence.

One is that.

Always has been that and has never not been that.

But in the human experience we have this experience of forgetting that we are that.

Because we become so identified we believe that all we are is this body-mind.

And it's a very easy thing to do that because in this realm which is so filled with phenomena all of the attention typically in most people goes to the phenomena.

And but the most phenomena they experience is within their own physical domain and identification with the noise going on up here,

The sensations,

The feelings,

The emotions and all the phenomena that are constantly being bombarded with.

And you might become identified with that,

With the phenomena of the body,

With the story of the body,

Completely forgetting that that which sees or is witness to the arising and the passing of all the phenomena is in fact that which you are.

So those three sentences realizing,

Not seeking,

Seeing,

Not looking,

Finding,

Not searching are very important,

Very important because it really is about realizing what is in fact already here and has never not been here.

Never not been here.

Even though we've had the experience for many many years of forgetting that.

Many many years forgetting that.

And it's not to say all that forgetfulness is wrong,

It's part of the journey and actually can lead to profound suffering for which there is only the deepest compassion.

But ultimately we're all on a journey because we experience it as a journey in time to realize that which is already here.

And we'll do one of my little exercises again in a short while to kind of emphasize and start to draw that out.

And I'll start to draw that out a bit more for you.

Alan is saying,

My mind says,

Oh yes,

That makes so much sense.

Let's seek like crazy for that state.

And indeed,

That's exactly what the mind does.

Alan,

It turns you initially from perhaps with a complete state of unawareness or seeker.

And then it goes on a path of searching.

It goes on a path of searching,

Which ultimately will be endless because the mind doesn't get this.

Did you hear what I said there folks?

The mind,

That which we call the mind,

Doesn't get this.

Only the awareness recognizes itself as awareness,

Remembers itself as that.

It's a remembering,

A realizing,

Something that was already and indeed always known,

But had simply been forgotten by virtue of the focus on the phenomenal domain and the beliefs and the desires of the mind.

And the desires and desires are essentially beliefs by another word.

Of that vehicle,

Which is always looking for something,

Something to fulfill,

To fill a gap that it senses or perceives is missing and need to be filled.

And it's an insatiable desire,

An insatiable desire and an unfillable gap.

The mind can never fill it.

It can only be realized.

And then you will see that what you call the mind is in fact the veil between what you perceive,

You believe to be you and that which you truly are.

It's an appearance like all phenomena on the green screen of consciousness,

Just like in the movies.

Anything can be projected onto this green screen.

What's Blossom saying?

The mind is a liar.

Yeah,

You could put it that way.

It's kind of an emotive way of putting it.

But it's a delusion really that we have,

Because it's always on this journey of need,

Desire,

Belief,

Attachment,

Identification,

Belief.

And so the whole key pointing of the Self-realization journey is to move you from seeking to realizing.

And sometimes,

You know,

It can be expressed expressed this way.

Call off the search.

Call off the search.

Instead,

Be open to recognizing that which is already here,

This unchanging,

Unmoving,

Untouched and unblemished awareness or infinite silence.

And for this to unfold,

To flower,

We have to be open to,

We are that which is being sought,

But it's not personal.

It's not personal.

Which involves an emptying out of all of the story,

The beliefs,

And with that,

The emotional body and all the desires that come with that,

So that we can become completely open,

Loose and natural.

Not normal,

But natural.

And then this body vehicle that we have then becomes a living expression of that.

And as I've said on various streams,

It's a little bit like a diamond.

You know,

The body-mind is a facet of the diamond.

And we can experience the beauty of a diamond,

By the light glinting off the facets.

But the facet is connected to the whole diamond,

And it's not separate from it.

And the luminosity,

The luminosity of the diamond comes from within.

Karen is saying,

Is our soul the infinite silence?

It depends what we mean by the word soul,

Because if you were to go around the world and ask people what they mean by the word soul,

You could get many different definitions in the same way that you might do if you use the word God.

In the context of self-realization,

I find it helpful to think of it more this way,

In a kind of acronym that goes,

Single outpouring of universal love,

That's the word God.

That's the letters of the word soul.

Single outpouring of universal love.

That takes a sort of personalization element away from it.

There is still a uniqueness in this expression that is in your body-mind complex,

But there's always this tendency to want to personalize self-realization,

Enlightenment,

Whatever word you want to give it.

And so I tend to focus it more on that way of thinking of the soul,

Rather than more identity,

Should I say.

Another aspect of identity that you would see as different from,

Or perhaps similar to,

Ego.

I have heard expressed in other ways,

But I find it more helpful to think of it more as a single outpouring of universal love,

Within which there is a unique expression,

A natural expression that forms your body-mind.

But you are not the body-mind,

It's something that you have,

But it's not that which you are.

So hopefully that helps you Karen.

And a quick hello to Pei from Mainz in Germany.

Karen said,

Is it our soul that connects us to the infinite silence?

What I would say Karen is that you are in fact the infinite silence.

And what we refer to as the ego,

That's like the bridge between the absolute,

Which is the infinite silence,

The infinite awareness,

And the relative or the finite domain.

And the problem comes when you identify with the bridge.

You identify with the bridge.

You could call that soul as well,

But for the reasons I've previously explained,

I'm not so keen on it being personalised,

Because it's just another block then.

It becomes another block,

Then becomes another block to the realisation.

And everything I'm about in terms of sharing this message with you is about moving beyond those blocks,

Before those blocks.

And I try to limit,

Typically will limit reference to things like the soul.

People will also use phrases like higher self and I'll say forget that,

There's no such thing.

It's not about a hierarchy,

It's about a realisation.

Time to get the lamp out Philip,

Says Alan,

The famous Afro-Fibre-Optic lamp.

Yes John,

There you go,

Does love to categorise.

So just to pick it out this way,

As soon as Alan's reminded me about the lamp,

Just for your benefit,

Cara-Ferns,

Look at it this way.

Typically where everybody thinks that they're one of these points of light here,

The body-mind,

And that that's all they are,

And they're looking out into this world of separateness,

And all the other body-minds or souls are separate from them.

The meditative journey,

The self-realisation journey,

Is about looking down the fibre-optic.

Recognising before all the body phenomena,

There is this element here,

Which I refer to in the meditation as spheres of light,

Or the pure state I am,

And this I is not personal,

Pure being,

Pure universal beingness.

And then even that that is a phenomena,

Beingness,

That's not personal,

A very creative and very powerful energy,

Is seen because it's a phenomena,

It must be witnessed or seen,

And in this metaphor,

From the battery,

Or the light comes from the battery,

The power for the light comes from the battery.

In the context of self-realisation,

That's the infinite silence or the infinite awareness.

Now that infinite awareness,

Infinite silence,

Expresses itself in myriad variety,

Myriad variety,

Infinite variety.

Now if we want to call that soul,

We could do,

But the trouble is you start then getting into trying to personalise things again,

And I'd rather move away from that,

From the personification of this to the realisation of this.

One is this,

And yes it doesn't deny the unique expressions,

The universe seeks to come to know itself in its own experience,

And hence the infinite variety of expressions,

For without these expressions and time,

Space,

Form,

Contrast,

There would be no experience,

You have to have all these elements for experience.

But what we're aiming at here,

Or what we're opening to here,

Is the realisation that we are,

We are the infinite silence,

And the body-mind complex,

Yes it's a beautiful expression,

But when that is expressed purely,

Then the suffering can drop,

The desires,

The belief go,

And there's the deepest recognition that not only are we that,

We've always been that,

Then all the desires and all the beliefs can drop,

And desires and beliefs are essentially the same thing.

I've just seen the donation from John come through which reminds me,

I forgot to mention donations,

But thank you once again for that John,

But also it's important on behalf of Insight Timer,

And myself,

The donations,

Insight Timer for me is a great platform to share this message,

Because it's completely distraction free,

There's no advertising,

They've foregone the advertising revenue,

And it survives through the donations and the memberships,

So that helps Insight Timer,

It helps me to share the message,

So thank you for that.

Guess,

What's guess saying?

Is the evil energy in the universe also the infinite silence,

And if so,

Why is the infinite silence evil?

Okay,

So even the term evil,

And good are,

You know,

Ultimately in the context of the infinite silence are meaningless,

Because this is the absolute domain,

It's before and beyond any contrast and definition.

So good,

Bad,

Evil,

So forth,

Are expressions of the belief in separation,

We get the contrast that in the human domain we typically experience as fear and love,

And it's this sense of separation from this,

That creates this sense of the void,

And it creates a polarity,

Fear and love.

And fear,

That which you call evil,

Is a function of fear,

And that which we're calling love,

Is a pure expression of the silence.

Now,

So good,

Bad,

Evil and all forth are meaningless to the absolute,

But the deep identification with the absolute is a very important part of the human body,

And it's a very important part of the small s self,

Can go on a spectrum from very mild suffering to extreme,

And at the extreme end we might point through human history to people we would class as evil,

And we could all think of examples of that without too much difficulty,

But even they,

Even they are still the infinite silence.

What's happened is that that which we're calling evil has become so deeply identified with its story,

In its self-protection mechanism,

It will do anything,

It will use any kind of force to get,

To meet its own needs and try to hide from its own fears.

So that can be very,

Very,

From very,

Very mild to very,

Very extreme,

And you would call that extreme evil,

But it's just an extreme expression of identification.

It's not the infinite silence in itself that is that,

It's the identification,

The attachment with it and the belief that one is that,

Taken to the absolute extreme that creates the experience of evil.

But these polarities,

They ultimately collapse and the realisation flows.

Now,

Somebody who is deeply identified,

That kind of,

Shall we say,

Evil end of the spectrum,

Then has an awful lot of process to go through for the dissolution of that,

And obviously such people can have a profoundly damaging effect on the lives of millions,

Even billions of people,

And such is the nature of the depth of that identification.

And that also isn't just confined to planet earth,

Either,

The universe is a big place.

So hopefully that answers it for you,

Guests.

Thank you also to Blossom for your donation.

And Saka has put the words that Advaita Varanta here,

And it needs to be said,

As I've said many times over the streams,

I'm not a student of the Eastern traditions.

Everything I share is from direct experience,

That's the way it was,

And that's how it is,

And that's how the expression is here.

I do know that a simple translation of Advaita Varanta,

However,

Is not to,

Not to.

And that is exactly the same pointing,

Ultimately,

As what I'm saying is,

There is no separation,

It appears as though there is separation,

As in the fibre optic lamp here,

But actually this is simply an expression,

And is completely at one with the infinite silence,

Which isn't just down here in the battery,

But is actually everywhere,

Is actually everywhere.

So Advaita Varanta means not to,

And that's a simple pointing to Self-realisation,

It's not to,

It's not separate,

Not separate is what that means.

So Saka is saying,

How is it possible that so many people are unknown?

I'm not quite sure what you're meaning there,

But possibly you mean that how many,

How is it that so many people don't realise this?

And the simple answer to that is because you are not separate,

You are not separate,

And the simple answer to that is because for now at least,

The vast majority of people are deeply identified with this part of the metaphor,

That all they are is the body-mind,

And it's a very pervasive illusion,

Because there's so many phenomena going on,

That's grabbing the attention,

Particularly the noise in the mind,

And all the story that's being told there,

That leads to millions,

Billions being deluded by that constant story,

And the beliefs that created.

But it doesn't have to be this way,

And again I'm not a student of the Eastern traditions,

But certainly by direct insight,

It's evident that we are on an awakening process,

A phase of awakening on the planet right now,

And granted,

Certainly over the last couple years,

It looks pretty messy,

But this again by direct insight has been shown to me to be very much all part of the process.

I did a live stream in the first part of lockdown,

And it's called This Earthquake,

A Shift in Consciousness,

And all that is unfolding right now,

Whatever you want to attribute it to,

Is all part of that global shift that's taking place,

In actually what has to be agreed as a very challenging way for millions,

Billions of people.

Anyway,

What I would like to do now is another of the Who Am I exercises,

Picking up on some of the paintings I've shared here,

And take you through that.

But let me just have a quick look at this question from Alan,

And see whether I want to do that first,

Or the exercise first.

I have a strange question,

Given that our awareness is always aware of everything and itself,

And therefore is always free by itself.

What is it that is,

That realises the truth beyond ego?

It couldn't possibly be awareness itself,

Since it doesn't judge or add,

Therefore it can't be deceived.

Is it that the mind that realises?

Short answer,

The mind will never realise.

And you're right that awareness doesn't judge,

But it's simply remembered.

What's happening is that there's a small element of energy,

A thought,

Let me put it this way,

Has become obsessed with itself.

So that if I say it this way,

The small I universe,

Y O U,

Y O U universe,

The small identity self universe,

Y O U,

Universe is a thought obsessed with itself.

It believes in itself,

A thought obsessed with itself.

And that thought has become,

Is the I thought,

The small I thought,

Is the small I thought,

That has become obsessed with itself and made manifest in this form.

That will never realise itself.

What is simply seen is that that was a delusion,

And there's an element of attention,

That as we move down here,

I talk about the silent witness,

I talk about the silent witness,

And then there's still a small personal element of that,

In that.

And then that silent witness itself dissolves,

And then simply there's no mind,

No mind.

And then the field is clear,

And there's a remembering that one is awareness.

Like this,

Like this.

How can awareness remember?

It's the mind that remembers.

The trouble we have here Alan is words.

Words at best are an honest lie.

Words at best are an honest lie.

Silence,

At worst,

Is a naked verity.

Naked verity means fundamental truth.

So we use realise,

We use the term remembers,

But in the context of infinite awareness they're meaningless.

So what would we do?

We would use no words.

We would use no words.

And hence,

Why I say in the meditation,

In silence you will realise your truth,

And in truth you will realise you are silence.

So in truth there is no word for it.

So a realisation,

Remembering,

Is an approximation.

The word itself,

As far as the absolute is concerned,

Is meaningless.

Meaningless.

So who is this you?

There is no personal element to the realisation.

Yet the appearance of Alan,

As the realisation flowers,

Will still be there.

But it will be recognised that although you thought that you were Alan,

You were never really Alan.

This body-mind was simply an expression of that absolute.

And it can seem like,

Or feel like,

That that which went before was some kind of dream.

Often referred to as an illusion.

You see,

What's happening here,

There's an attempt to try and personalise the realisation,

And it can't be personalised.

So this is another reason,

I think I spoke about this on an earlier stream,

There's a lot of reference of the term mindfulness in the world today,

And it's a translation from Buddhism I think.

But I'm not keen on the term because it's got the word mind in it.

And this is before and beyond the concept of mind.

What we call the mind is an appearance in front of awareness,

In front of infinite silence.

So what's John saying?

It would seem that when the mind becomes still,

It is penetrated by the silence.

Well actually what happens is that as one deepens or moves away from,

That's how it's experienced,

From identification with mind,

You'll see that that is in fact just simply a,

You think,

In fact my whole next stream is going to be dedicated to this,

And I've called it Whose Mind Is It Anyway,

And I'll explore this more fully then.

But you treat mind as if it's something concrete,

But it isn't.

If you were to drill into your head you wouldn't find something called the mind.

It's simply a thought obsessed with itself.

So as awareness,

Reassociation or reacquaintance with,

And again these are ultimately as far as the absolute concern meaningless words,

What actually happens is what we call the mind naturally becomes still and in fact comes to a stem of the mind.

So as awareness,

Reassociation or reacquaintance with,

What actually happens is what we call the mind naturally becomes still and in fact comes to a standstill and dissolves.

More on that next time.

It's not weird Alan,

It's important questions.

I feel like I'm starting to witness what you are explaining and it makes sense to me good.

I'll just have a quick look at this Alan,

Then I want to do the exercise.

So I would be right,

It would be right to say that the dissolution of ego lets the mind recognize,

No it wouldn't be right to say the mind recognizes the silence.

The mind dissolves completely.

You must be out,

And again much more on this next time,

You must be out of your brilliant mind.

You know that song,

I can't remember who wrote it,

Was it in the 80s?

You must be out of your brilliant mind.

That title of that song is a great pointing to self-realization.

Out of the mind,

Beyond the mind,

Before the mind,

Forget the mind.

No mind.

You're saying I can't understand how the silence would or wouldn't recognize regardless of the existence of the ego.

The silence is the silence that is the silence regardless of the existence of the ego.

The silence is always the silence.

It's only that tiny element of energy that's become obsessed with itself that's still being witnessed by the silence,

But that self-identification of self-obsession process,

The smaller self,

Is what leads to the suffering.

Once seen,

It dissolves.

Like this.

The mind will always be confused by this.

It won't get it.

Do not try to get this from the mind.

You will fail,

And you will fail miserably.

You will always suffer.

Oh,

The band is furniture.

Thanks for that,

Susan.

So you're not going to get this from mind.

And I'll explain again that even more fully next time.

But I'm going to come to your comment,

Susan,

In a moment.

But I'd like to.

.

.

Oh,

She's posted the first verse.

Is that what it is?

Ah,

Right.

Okay.

There we go.

So that's the first verse of the song,

You Must Be Out of Your Brilliant Mind.

I'll just have a quick read of it.

I am at the stage where everything I thought meant something seems so unappealing.

I'm ready for the real thing,

But nobody's selling none except you.

You're saying opening up your eyes and ears lets me in.

You must be out of your brilliant mind.

You must be out of your brilliant mind.

Look at those words from the context of self-realisation and you can start to see a bit more deeply what I'm pointing at.

And if you're feeling totally confused,

Alan,

Right now,

This might sound bizarre,

What I'm about to say,

But bear with me.

That's good.

And the reason it's good,

That confusion is because confusion is the step before clarity.

Confusion is the step before clarity.

What is it,

Alan?

Everybody that recognises that there's confusion here.

What is it that recognises that confusion is here?

Maybe confusion wasn't here 10,

15 minutes ago.

Now confusion's here.

What saw that?

What recognises the appearance of confusion?

Awareness.

So confusion is the mind trying to get something that it will never get.

Relax into that,

Alan.

I really am going to go to the exercise now,

Folks.

So I'd like you to invite you to close your eyes.

So and just simply recognise what's here.

The body.

Feelings.

Sensations.

Emotions.

Maybe confusion is here.

Just simply,

Silently accept all of that.

There's breath here.

The sensations here.

What is it that sees,

Witnesses all these phenomena?

Are you the phenomena?

Or are they simply appearances like waves on an ocean?

And now asking inside.

Who am I?

Who am I?

And if something comes,

That's fine.

If not,

That's fine too.

Just be with that.

And now asking inside.

Who am I?

Without seeking.

Who am I?

Without seeking.

And just be with that.

If something comes,

Great.

If not,

Also great.

And now,

Who am I?

Without need.

Who am I?

Without need.

Just be with that.

If something comes,

Good.

If not,

Also good.

And now,

Who am I?

Without desire.

Who am I?

Without desire.

And just rest with that.

Good.

Good.

So,

If you haven't already done so,

You can open your eyes.

And if anybody wants to share anything that may have cropped up for them there,

Just post that in the comments and we'll have a look at that.

What we've just done there is a very simple self-realization meditation.

Maybe it didn't feel like a normal meditation,

But you'll notice the whole focus of that meditation was about moving you away from identification to recognizing a witnessing presence that is untouched and unmoved by the phenomena appearing in front of it.

That's what self-realization is all about.

The phenomena will still be here,

But you won't be identified with them.

You won't suffer from the needs,

The beliefs,

The desires.

Linda says the word free kept coming up.

Good,

Linda.

Good.

And John said without desire,

Already free.

Great.

And what you'll see,

Eventually realize,

And what will be realized is that you are indeed freedom itself.

Indeed,

It would be truer and more accurate to say one is before and even beyond the concept of freedom.

What I mean by that is in the human domain we talk about freedom as in free from something,

But this is before and beyond all of that.

It's important for us to use something that points at this so that there can be a sense of this,

But ultimately we are freedom itself or before and beyond that which feels imprisoned.

It's essentially and totally and utterly and absolutely limitless,

Absolute freedom might be a more accurate expression.

Thank you,

Diane,

For the kind donation.

That's much appreciated on behalf of myself and Insight Timer.

And hello to Iron who's just joined us.

So looking at a couple more of the comments,

Stefan says,

I am the one with,

So that was on item one,

Which was who am I without seeking?

And the one there is appointing to the unity,

The oneness of infinite silence.

And interestingly,

One thing I do know about the phrase Advaita Vedanta,

The reason that it's expressed that way,

Not two,

Is pointing to one.

It's not two,

It's just one.

So that's what Stefan's getting there on two,

Which was without need.

Oh sorry,

Without seeking.

First I got lost,

Then came from within found.

So the one that got lost was the identity I,

For that is always lost and has the experience of being lost and hence the suffering.

And then found is pointing to the finding not realising in the phrases I was sharing earlier.

And then three,

He got without need,

Free.

Again,

This is the absolute freedom.

And without desire,

There's been a movement there Stefan,

Back to identification.

The small I feels lost because it's always,

The small I,

Identity I always desires,

Always desires,

Always believes.

So before that,

This lostness again is an appearance.

It's not bad,

It's not good,

It is what it is.

But that which sees it is the awareness.

That which sees it.

And so you must be that and it'll be seen that the awareness is untouched by the phenomena.

That he's got free,

Satisfied,

Infinite.

So these are all words that consciousness will use words that will help its unique expression in your form start to see and realise that which it is.

So again,

The absolute sense of freedom,

Satisfied pointing to the fact that there is no desire,

There is no need,

There is no searching,

Seeking.

One is in fact already the infinite.

Ruth put,

Welled up with a few tears on without need question.

Not sure why,

Not really sadness,

Felt more like release.

And that was exactly what I was going to point to before I'd read the rest of your comment there,

Ruth.

It just felt to me like from the way you'd expressed it,

The welling up of a tears on without need,

Felt to me like a joyful sense of release.

A joyful sense of release.

A release from identity and the idea that your happiness or joy is based on some future need being met.

Exactly Ruth,

I'm glad that that makes sense to you.

So that release that was sensed there,

Embrace that Ruth.

Let that sink deeply into the body-mind complex,

Recognising that in truth you are that which is without need.

The tears there,

The release there is a beautiful gift from awareness to itself.

They manifest in this form as Ruth,

To show,

To help the recognition or the experience that we have of remembering,

But the fact that we are already this.

I really want to emphasise that for you Ruth.

Embrace that,

Embrace that.

So what's Nitz saying?

Oh,

Hi Nitz.

By the way,

I responded to your message,

So I don't know if you've seen it,

But that long message you sent me I have responded.

Just want to share,

I gave up running because even though I felt motivation,

I was terribly tired and when trying and today after lying on the ground and was just naturally meditating,

I suddenly had this stream of energy and breath and just started running,

Was coming out of me.

Sounds like that's a good experience Nitz,

I didn't quite follow the final bit,

But it sounds like there was a giving up of trying,

Efforting,

Releasing,

Pushing towards something and dropping into a true relaxation,

True meditation which is not seeking anything and becoming in fact the living meditation.

That's what the first part sounds like and the stream of energy arising then sounds like a natural expression of that because as the identification is dissolving and the natural flow state is there,

Then energy will flow through the body as I explained at length in the Kundalini live stream.

So it sounds like you were moving away from the running,

The seeking,

The searching,

The stretching and that naturally stopping,

Trying,

Stopping of the reaching makes so much sense for when that stopping,

That calling off the search happens,

Then true meditation is there and you'll see that you are in fact the living meditation.

So hopefully that helps you Nitz,

But do also look out for my response.

Yes the powering up of a simple question indeed Ruth and when we know what that question is,

That release can come very,

Very quickly.

So I'm really delighted for you for that that's been experienced there because that is a gift greater than you can possibly conceive of from the mind right now.

Okay Maria is saying the stream of energy that seems to arise here is of dense quality on a bodily level,

Then sometimes ego will merge and go explain,

Analyse others not.

How do I ground such string,

I'm not quite sure,

Oh string wave to find peace amongst amidst it,

Be one with it.

Okay the key thing here Maria,

That dense quality,

If you look at the live stream replay Trust the Heart where I explain the difference in experience between what an expression from the heart space of silence is and identification with mind is,

The denseness is a function of identification.

And it's not bad and it's not good,

It is what it is and it may not feel that great in the body,

But it's still a phenomena that's appearing in front of awareness,

Just like we did in the meditation there.

The fact that denseness is here and can be felt,

Maybe denseness was not there 10,

15 minutes ago,

I don't know,

But it wasn't always here and it won't always be here,

It changes over time like a wave.

What was it that witnessed that,

Saw that arising,

The appearance of denseness,

The increased intensity of denseness and the falling away of denseness,

That's awareness and it's from that space,

Awareness,

Infinite silence,

That the perfume,

Just like the perfume of a flower,

Of peace arises.

Peace is the perfume of infinite silence,

Of infinite awareness.

So we have to recognize that all phenomena are appearances on the green screen and that we non-personally are the infinite silence or the infinite awareness,

That simply without judgment witnesses.

And that then allows the natural flow of its unique expression in your form to emerge.

And with that will come the experience of the peace that passeth all understanding,

The joy for no reason.

Hope that helps you Maria.

Does this stopping of seeking happen spontaneously out of exhaustion or does the meditator voluntarily stop seeking at some point?

So typically for most people we will experience a gradual dissolution of reaching,

Striving,

Seeking,

Searching.

And it may appear like the identity is gradually letting go of more and more stuff but what's actually happening is that there's a reacquaintance and a reassociation and a trusting more of awareness that's taking place and as that there's a falling away of seeking,

Reaching,

Stretching,

Finding.

It can happen in a flash but more often it will be experienced as a gradual erosion.

It isn't the mind ultimately choosing,

For the mind the identity would ultimately never choose this.

Did you hear what I said?

That the mind would ultimately never choose this.

It's a trusting of the calling that's arising naturally from within.

And you'll remember I spoke about on the previous streams the highest form of trust is not having to trust at all.

The highest form of trust is not having to trust at all.

It's a knowing.

So there's a danger in the way you're phrasing your question there is that there's somebody that's trying to get this but we have to move away from the somebody-ness to recognise that simply one already is that which is being sought.

Yet they'll still be the uniqueness of the form of Alan.

Marie says yes thanks Philip the moment I saw it back I recognised the identification very helpful.

Good.

Hi Maria Kiel,

MSC course John McCluskey.

Oh right okay you obviously know each other.

When this happens says Alan is it okay to let thoughts be and let yourself get lost in them if that's what's happening.

So thoughts will still come.

It's part of the human experience.

The suffering comes from identification and catching the train of thought and believing in the thought becoming obsessed with the I thought the personal I thought and every other thought is simply a different expression of that a different slice of it.

Now so thoughts will still arise but as one deepens into awareness realises then thoughts may still come but they'll be much more instantaneously recognised as thought and there won't be the desire the call the so much drag towards going with it.

Now if the experience of being lost in thought occurs there will always come a point when there's a recognition got lost in thought there.

That's the point where aware presence awareness has come back into the foreground and that's the point to choose the recognition that one is awareness.

These gaps in the thought stream will always occur.

The more one deepens the more one you focuses and using awareness based meditation and awareness based meditation practices such as the infinite silence meditation the who am I exercises that I've done in myriad different ways on these streams the more frequently those gaps will be the longer those gaps will be the less likelihood that one will get lost in as thought.

Make sense so always going to be those gaps and those gaps the instant they're recognised awareness is now here go with awareness go with awareness and I see we've got David from Alaska with us so we've got Australia and Alaska with us so kind of a either polar opposite ends of the planet here so that's good no doubt points east and west as well good Alan and glad it makes sense awareness never listen to this folks never goes anywhere and awareness never goes anywhere always here the train of thought will take you to many stations and none of them none of them are your truth none and you don't need to believe me on that it will be seen it will be realised good I'm glad that you can feel that potency in that offering that inside I offered you the highest form of trust is not not having to trust at all it's a knowing it's a knowing it must be 333 where Jesse is so I'm delighted to hear that Jesse okay so let's do another meditation to finish and if there's any more questions what we can pick up on that afterwards but we're going to start in the same way and we'll have maybe 10 minutes or so and we'll see where we are remember meditations about recognising the awareness the infinite silence that you already are so closing your eyes really recognising the phenomena that are here feelings emotions sensations breath maybe thoughts are here just simply silently accepting all that's here now without any judgment just watching witnessing everything appearing in front of awareness and just be open now nothing to visualise nothing to see just be open from your heart to the energy of the spheres pure state I am pure being infinite I am knowing that this is also seen this beingness this aliveness by what I call the silent witness and this silent witness is immersed in an ocean of infinite silence melting merging becoming one with the silence totally and totally dissolved in silence we trust the trust becomes the knowing in silence you will realise truth in truth you are silence infinite silence always this never not bliss this rarefied atmosphere of silence transforms transmutes dissolves all that you are not effortlessly and silently awareness flowers realising not seeking seeing not looking finding not searching unblemished unmoved untouched eternity always this in a moment I'll ring the zing sha fells three times pain And as the sound of the Tsing-Sha-Pals fades to silence,

Remaining rested in this,

As this,

Aware of the body,

The chair you're sat in,

Aware of the space,

Knowing awareness remains,

Silence remains,

You are that.

And if you haven't already done so,

Gently opening your eyes.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Namaste.

So whilst you're just coming to from that,

I'll just share or share again,

Thanks to the painting from Blossom and Ruth.

In the group that we've set up for these live streams,

It's called Nothing Special,

Nothing Special with an exclamation mark after the word special.

So if you want to join that group,

You can do.

So that's the group that supports,

That is in support of these live streams,

Nothing Special.

There are now two playlists.

One has got the seven versions of the Infinite Silence meditation that are recorded from quarter of an hour to an hour and a half in increments with increasing amounts of silence from full guidance through to very long gaps,

Same guidance.

So there's a playlist for that and a playlist for the live stream recordings,

Which what we're doing is stripping out the audio and posting a lightly edited version as replays on my profile on Insight Timer and there's been eight of them so far.

There's six more to do.

I've been away for a week,

So I haven't done one for a while.

And those replays are also now being added to a playlist.

So those playlists have been created this morning,

Thanks to questions being asked by Ruth and Blossom and actually recognising that that was a facility we could create.

So I've done that thanks to them.

So those are there.

So if you want to use those and I would really recommend that you listen to these streams again and again and again with gaps in between because you'll hear something different.

So you want to join the group is nothing special exclamation mark,

But all the recordings have been gradually being remounted on my profile as well.

So just looking at the various thank yous I can see coming ones I can see from Linda and Marie and Diane,

I'm glad that you found it profound,

Diane.

Thank you for joining us.

As I say,

Everybody's welcome to join the group beautiful meditation says Stefan and Patty.

Blossom laughed out loud three times the tears of realisation ran down my face so good.

Thank you,

Philip.

Namaste.

I delight to hear that blossom Thank you for sharing that really embrace those tears.

Just like Ruth's tears earlier.

A tear,

A natural expression of joy.

Seeing a realisation embrace it.

Namaste to John and Alan touch the nothingness again indeed you are already the nothingness Alan,

Thank you for sharing that.

Trust that it will become the knowing Linda said I've been doing these every day and it has really strengthened awareness.

My awareness,

I'm glad to hear that.

Linda,

And I would just take the my out of that sentence and make it non personal.

Might be seem a little bit pernickety there but I'm glad to hear that.

Might be seem a little bit pernickety there but I really my whole focus is here is about recognising that this awareness is non personal.

Yet there are uniquenesses within its expression house Linda.

It's very,

Very important.

Blossom has put the group name there to find it nothing special with exclamation mark.

So yeah,

Great to see how we will all co create with this one.

Thank you all.

Thank you for sharing that Stefan.

So yeah,

There's more recordings will be being put on I think I'll try and get another one done this week that will be replay number nine.

I can't remember what that one is now.

So I'll try and get that done this week.

And as I say the next stream is isn't a week today.

It's on Friday.

I think it's the 25th 815pm UK time.

And it's really going to focus on a lot of Alan's questions earlier.

And I've entitled it deliberately whose mind is it anyway?

Whose mind is it anyway?

Which is a play on words from a television programme that we used to have on here in the UK called whose line is it anyway?

And I explained fully what I'm pointing out with that title and why it's important,

As I was saying earlier,

To be out of your brilliant mind.

So that's what the next stream is.

25th 815pm UK time.

Check your local time at timeanddate.

Com.

Maria is saying,

Beautiful remembering not that it is ever forgotten.

I feel deep peace.

And that peace Maria is the natural perfume of the silence.

The natural perfume of the silence.

Good Linda,

I'm glad that you saw that in the way that was intended.

I'm delighted.

It's really important,

Folks,

Because I'm all about helping.

Recognise,

Realise,

See that that which you are seeking,

You already are.

And,

You know,

There is no difference.

It's really already here if we're just open to realising it.

Other thing I hope I won't miss it.

I really want to see that too.

Thank you,

Philip.

You're the best.

Bless you all.

We're all the best in different forms of best.

Different forms of best.

Deep peace indeed.

Good.

So that's why I always say,

I always say,

Peace,

Joy,

Gratitude,

Grace.

These are all the natural perfumes of the silence.

They're just like the perfumes of a flower.

They effortlessly arise as one is rested in and as awareness.

So I'm glad that there's many people smelling the perfume of silence.

Indeed,

Blossom,

Absolutely.

That's what these streams are all about.

All from direct experience,

As I say,

Not trained in any of the Eastern traditions.

It doesn't make it any less potent,

It just makes it a little bit different,

That's all.

You know,

Every realised being who has ever been has only ever said this.

That which you are seeking,

You already are.

Infinite silence,

Infinite awareness,

Infinite consciousness.

And you don't need to believe that it will be realised.

Thanks once again to Insight Timer for providing this platform.

The donations that have been received are gratefully received.

This is Philip Wade here signing off from the Universal Studio in North Yorkshire in England.

Thank you so much for joining wherever you are in the world.

Right down from Australia right up to Alaska and points east and west.

Now,

Namaste.

See you all soon.

Bye.