For a long time I judged my body for its pains,
Aches,
Stiffnesses,
For the moments I couldn't breathe or move or feel light and free within myself.
For a long time I thought there's something wrong with me,
With my body,
As it didn't support me in my everyday life situations.
Some people even believe in physical pain or so-called diseases as a punishment,
Coming from an understanding of karma as a way of carrying guilt and shame forward into your next incarnation.
Today I consider both approaches as lies.
My body didn't want to punish me,
It actually always wanted the best for me,
Talking to me in the most clear way about where I had left myself,
Where I was trying to live towards other people's expectations that had nothing to do with my purpose.
It made breathing difficult when I kept being in toxic environments that didn't value my light and being.
It started becoming stiff because I was constantly working against its intuitive flows,
Against my intuitive knowing running through my body,
Cutting it off in order to give way only to my cognitive understanding.
My body closed down when I tried to connect to people in a way that actually didn't mean freedom,
Neither for me nor for them.
I had understood,
Reflected and analysed a lot on mental level,
But I had for many years ignored that knowledge that can neither be understood nor analysed cognitively.
My body continued screaming,
Blocking and paining until I listened,
Until I started taking it,
Its message and its knowing seriously,
Until I started to relearn how to listen to my inner flows,
To give them way even when my conceptual mind is trying to work against them,
To give permission to my emotions,
To my life force,
My potential,
Instead of constantly trying to fit into systems,
Concepts and pictures that were never in alignment with my way of being,
My way of flowing,
Creating on essential level,
On intuitive level.
When I started honouring my inner chaos as a fruitful way to creation,
When I didn't try to create from a level of understanding but from a mystical level of knowing,
I started to understand that my body never worked against me.
It is unapologetically honest.
It speaks truth in every moment.
It asks me to face me,
My points of avoidance,
My spaces of unfreedom and to transform them.
My body is the closest and most faithful friend I have.
She talks to me through pains and I learned how to read those pains.
I learned how to listen to that language,
To those messages.
I had no choice but taking my body with me,
Respecting her as my sacred space,
The home of my spirit and the embodied expression of my light here on earth.
The symptoms of my body are precious gifts to me.
I know they were necessary in order for me to see,
To remember,
To understand and to choose afresh for who I want to be.
You can label pain as sickness or judge it as punishment.
Or you choose to count it as a message,
A communication you are yet to understand,
A gift brought to you so that you may find guidance on your healing path.
I wish for you that you remember your body's language and dare to honor it,
Respect it and value it as your compass into healing.
What does your body try to tell you today?
And what gifts are you receiving through your pains?
I can't wait to meet you in one of my practices to explore the intuitive language of your body with you.
Have a gentle,
Compassionate and loving day ahead.
