Releasing The Illusion of Control - Dissecting The Wisdom

And welcome back to another episode of Dissecting the Wisdom of Shaltazar with my co-collaborator and good friend Mark Lane.

Welcome back,

Mark.

Hi,

Jeffrey.

Thanks.

Good to be here.

Yeah,

Here we are again.

And I am excited and looking forward to the subject that you're going to pick today because in this new format we don't know what we're going to talk about.

Right,

Right.

Yeah,

I don't always know until game time,

So it's been interesting.

Which is kind of neat,

And you and I have talked about it before,

And this is something for the listeners to just be aware of.

Allow things to evolve in your life.

Try not to be too attached to anything.

In the words of the late Wayne Dyer,

Be open to everything and attached to nothing.

And that's what we've done in these episodes,

In this podcast,

Is we started a certain way,

And then we allowed it to evolve,

And we allowed it to evolve,

And now it's into something that feels really comfortable for both of us,

And who knows where it'll be in the future.

So I invite the listeners to look at some of the things that you're really trying to control in your life and give it a little slack and open up to new possibilities.

Right,

Which is actually a perfect segue into today's topic,

Which was the idea of control.

I read something or I listened to something—I don't remember what prompted me to think about this—but it was the idea that all human suffering begins because of our,

As humans,

Our need to or our want to try to control the circumstances around us.

And it occurred to me that our friend,

Our new friend COVID,

Is in a large way teaching us that we don't have control,

And we can live happily without trying to control things,

If that makes sense.

Of course it does.

Of course it does.

I would agree that I think our desire to control is the source of much of our suffering.

And of course,

As you're talking,

Then what pops in my mind is,

Okay,

Let's see if we can dig a little deeper into why we as human beings have such a desire to be in control.

Right,

Yeah.

Yeah,

So I'm asking you that question,

Mark.

It's like,

All right,

Let's—okay,

You brought up the topic and you're absolutely right.

I watch from a place of self-awareness all of the time my desire to control things.

I have realized that it's the source of much of my suffering.

So why is it that we as humans want to be in control?

I mean,

I think the simple answer is fear,

Right?

And as Shelta Zara points out in many messages,

When we incarnated here in physical form,

We were cut off from or separated from or disconnected from source.

And we tend as human beings to feel like we're isolated,

Right?

We're here kind of with a billion other people or however many people are here,

But we sort of feel isolated and alone.

And we feel like we have to make our own way and force our life to happen.

And I think what happens when we are trying to force our life to happen in the way we think it should happen,

We're oftentimes at odds with or conflicting with source who may be trying to push us in a different direction.

And so we're in this tug of war all the time between what we think we should do and what perhaps source is suggesting we should do.

And our free will choice is,

I don't know,

Maybe not informing us in the correct direction or in the direction that's for our highest good.

I don't know.

Yeah,

I think you're onto something.

I think you're onto something.

I agree.

And I remember you and I talking about,

And I love how you worded it when we talked about predestiny or sources plan,

And you called it a loosely crafted plan because we have to recognize the fact that we live on the planet of free choice.

And so certainly my belief is,

And I know you agree with me,

That we do not have this firm predestination where God is in control of everything that happens.

It is our free choice that determines that,

But in behind it is this loosely crafted plan where we are guided.

I think where we go astray is from a survival mechanism,

Maybe back from the caveman in our DNA,

Is this sense of we are responsible for our survival.

And I think this desire to control to a certain degree comes from this illusion that if we don't take care of ourselves,

No one else will.

And I think that is what then opens up to this larger purpose of life,

Which is to tap into the loosely crafted plan,

To tap in to the source's guidance,

To tap into God's will,

And to allow it to work with our human free choice.

And when we do that,

Certainly for me,

I found that's the times that I can let go of the control.

And you used the term,

I think,

A few episodes ago,

Let go and let God.

And so when we believe or when we allow ourselves to believe that we are not the only ones that will protect us,

That will take care of us,

Then I think we can ease up on that control a little bit.

Does that make any sense?

Yeah,

It makes a lot of sense.

Again,

Kind of going back to consciousness and awareness,

Last week we talked about body awareness,

Breath awareness,

And I guess I could point to situations where you feel like you feel yourself trying to control the situation.

The feedback you get,

The visceral feedback you get is unpleasant,

Right?

I even think just as a parent,

And you've got kids and you want your kids to do the things the way you want them to be done,

And when they don't,

That feeling isn't good.

It's an anxious feeling,

It's a frustrated feeling,

It's all very negative until you find a way to perhaps communicate your desires to the other person without trying to control the outcome or express yourself and then let life happen.

Brilliant,

Brilliant,

Brilliant.

And as you're talking,

What's coming to mind is,

As parents,

Think about this,

And I think you can identify it,

When you try to control your daughters,

When I try to control my kids,

Not only does it feel kind of tense,

Kind of tight,

Kind of uncomfortable for us as the parent,

What do you usually get back from your kid?

Right,

Right.

Unbridled anger.

This is what we talked about in Creation before,

Is it possible that this fight back,

This struggle that we get from our kids is because we are coming forth from the desire to control?

Right,

Yeah.

I never thought of it that way,

But we've talked about reframing interactions,

Especially with family members,

Because they seem to be the most emotional relationships we have,

Coming at situations and at communication and conversations from a place of love and compassion versus a place of trying to prove a point or get your point across.

There's a subtle difference in there somewhere that I think,

I've noticed at least in my life,

That when you can find that compassionate or loving place within you to begin the conversation with,

The reaction you get is much different than when you come at it head on with a steamroller,

Right?

Yeah,

100%.

Think about it.

As you're talking,

I'm thinking,

The word love is so elusive,

It's so fascinating,

It's so amazing,

And I've channeled a few messages from Shaltazar on love.

It brings me back to the book,

The Mastery of Love,

By Don Miguel Ruiz,

And he talked about all of the things that love is.

As you're talking,

I'm thinking,

Is control part of love?

I get a resounding no.

I mean,

If you stop and think about it,

In any way,

From what you would imagine love is or what you imagine love to be,

Do you feel that control fits into love?

Well,

And when you said that,

It just dawned on me that what we were just talking about,

About free will,

Right?

I mean,

So the Creator,

One of the things that we were imbued with here is free will choice,

And source will never interfere in our free will,

Right?

So if we are a microcosm of source energy,

And we put ourselves in the position of what would source do,

Source would not try to control our choices.

Source would lay it out there and go,

Okay,

Here are your options,

But you choose,

You pick.

When we're dealing with each other,

It's the same way,

Right?

So if we're trying to skew the outcome or force someone to come over to our way of thinking or make them try to see it our way,

We're not acting as source would act.

We're acting as controlling human would act.

Source isn't controlling.

Yeah,

No,

Yeah,

I love that.

I love that because really,

When you think about it that way,

Source is coming from this place of unconditional love,

And source is empowering us to choose and in a very loving way supporting us of any of the consequences of that choice,

Which is the total opposite of control.

Right.

Which is really kind of fascinating.

So when we are living from control,

When we are trying to control our outcomes,

We are really living more from fear than we are living from love.

Right,

Exactly.

Yeah.

And if love is the answer,

And especially as we're going through these difficult and trying times of the pandemic,

The answer is love,

Which means we have to give up control,

Which is kind of interesting because you have to then basically throw up your hands and say,

I'm going to do everything I can to stay safe.

But if I get COVID,

Or I don't get COVID,

I'm going to get through it.

And I think that's important for us to understand that we're probably doing greater harm to our body by trying to be in control,

Just like just like you pointed out from from last week's session about the body.

When you strike when you start to control your kids,

Your spouse,

Anyone,

When you come from that energy of control,

The body tightens up,

The body gets out of its homeostasis.

Right,

Right.

Yeah,

Your your blood pressure goes up,

You feel it in your neck,

Right?

You feel it in your stomach,

You,

You know,

You're not balanced,

You're not calm,

You're not in a peaceful framework to be able to even,

You know,

Have an engaged in a conversation,

Let alone have it turn out in a positive,

Win win way.

Right,

Right.

And so when we come from that place of control,

When we come from that place of fear,

We are creating this this chemical reaction called adrenaline,

That is going to probably alter the outcome of our free choice in a way that's probably not what we want.

Right.

And so just like letting go and coming from love when you talk to your kids or your spouse,

Your partner or whatever,

If you can start showing up by not trying to control and shelters are makes it quite clear that the energy of the input greatly affects the outcome and the energy of the output,

Which means if you are putting in the energy of fear and control,

What's going to come in your life is not going to have a very good energy to it.

Right?

It's going to match the energy you put in.

Right.

So wouldn't you rather have the outcome and the output to be more loving,

Compassionate,

Empathetic words that you were using?

Does that make more sense?

It feels better.

It feels better just when you say it.

Right.

Right.

Which is really kind of neat,

Because if anyone is energetically sensitive and they're listening to that,

They would probably get a sense of how we surrendered and let go of control.

Because anybody that does a podcast,

Anybody that does a recording here doing it for an audience and you kind of got to be left brain thinking,

What am I saying?

What am I not saying?

And I have to tell you that this conversation is going in a direction that I didn't imagine.

We didn't try to control where this conversation was going.

And if you could see us energetically,

We're probably each of us getting these tremendous aha moments.

I know I am and I'm sensing you are.

And it's like,

You say something,

It's like aha.

And I say something and you say,

Yeah,

That's an aha.

And that's because we simply let go of the control and allowed the flexibility and spontaneity of our conversation to guide us.

Right.

Right.

And that's,

I think,

In a very basic way,

That's how you allow source energy to work through you.

It's being open and kind of keeping yourself out of the way and seeing what materializes.

Right.

That's sort of how I write.

I try to just open the door and let the energy flow through me,

Through the top of my head into the tips of my fingers,

I guess.

Right.

100 percent.

100 percent.

And just before we got on the episode,

I was sharing with you a story of one of the messages of Shaltazar that I just finished.

And I started it six,

Eight months ago.

And I,

As I got halfway through it,

I felt this desire to try and control the outcome.

And I never finished it.

And I tried several times thereafter,

But I couldn't because I was trying to say,

OK,

This is what Shaltazar is going to say next.

I know it.

I know it.

Right.

And nothing would come.

Nothing would come.

And more recently,

I surrendered.

I took out this half finished channeling and I read it and I simply sat down with a microphone and just gave up control,

Trusted,

Came from a place of love.

And the message,

Which is called Minding the Mind and which will be out shortly,

Was extremely profound.

And so I experienced exactly what we're talking about,

How control stopped me from allowing the wisdom of Shaltazar to come through me.

And that surrender and letting go of that control opened up a,

I think,

A very valid and timely message.

Well,

Yeah.

And it's interesting that you say that you weren't sure what was going to come next or when it was going to come.

I think that that's a big factor in explaining our want to control and the fear part of it,

Because I think as humans,

We're always wondering what's next,

What's going to come next.

OK,

What's going to happen later today?

What's going to happen tomorrow?

What's going to happen tonight?

What's going to be the result of the pandemic?

What's after the pandemic?

We're always wondering what's what the next step is.

And I wrote down a phrase from one of the one of the shelters,

Our messages that said,

Accept what is beyond your control without the need to know what will come.

And that kind of spoke to me because that seems to be kind of the crux of this whole idea of control.

Wanting to know what's next.

So maybe,

You know,

Just not wanting to know,

You know,

Just trusting that whatever is going to come next is for our highest good and truly practicing that helps us feel like we don't need to be in such control of what's going on.

Mark,

You are certainly on your game today.

Bingo.

Couldn't have said it better.

Brilliant.

Absolutely.

That is,

You really tied it all up,

Which is fascinating.

Shaltazar says we need to make friends with the unknown.

And I think you're absolutely right.

And there's nothing like a pandemic.

There's nothing like the rug being pulled out from under us to shake us up,

Because even what used to be more known is now unknown.

So we've been inundated with a flood of unknowns.

And in a lot of cases,

Our reaction to that is control.

And I think that I think the lesson that they're trying to send us is that is the wrong reaction,

The response should be surrendered.

The response should be make friends with the unknown and allow it to unfold.

And so I think you really tied up,

Which is fascinating because it's hard to believe that we're just about out of time.

And I want to respect the listeners' time and this one,

I think we could go on and on for hours.

And,

You know,

I just it's honest,

It feels like a miracle that you came in and tied it all up in the last few minutes,

Because that is the essence of this discussion,

Which is the only way that we are going to feel more comfortable with letting go of control is when we feel more comfortable with the unknown.

Right.

I agree.

I didn't know I agreed until just now until you said that.

Yeah,

It's like,

Yeah,

Well,

Yeah.

And again,

Anybody that is energetically sensitive,

If you listen to some of our other episodes,

You know,

I will say,

Yeah,

I think they're good.

Right.

But this one feels different because we experienced what we're talking about.

We simply gave up control.

We were OK with the unknown.

We didn't have any rehearsed message.

And in that in that comfort with how this was going to turn out,

I think it was one of our best conversations and best episodes.

So thank you for that,

Mark.

Oh,

Thank you.

And I agree.

It just felt like we were in the flow.

Yeah.

Any final words?

No,

I don't want to spoil anything.

There you go.

We'll leave it at that.

So the key to letting go of that control,

To approaching life in a more loving way is to become comfortable with the unknown.

Thank you again,

Mark.

Oh,

Thank you,

Jeffrey.

I enjoyed it.

And we'll see you again next week.

Love and light to everyone.