Hey everyone,
It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 415.
I hope you're doing okay.
I'm pretty sad and frightened and a lot of things.
That's just this morning.
So,
Thinking of you all.
I'd promised to start talking about the places that scare you,
Pema Chodron's book,
But I feel like instead today I want to talk about an old Zen story and it's a classic and it's it's one we've told at the Mindfulness in Law teacher training every year and the story is just three lines.
Yun Men,
A learned and well-respected teacher,
Has lived a long life and he's dying.
A student comes and asks,
What is the teaching of a lifetime?
Yun Men replies,
An appropriate response.
Every time I've heard it,
I thought,
Okay,
If my practice can give me the tools,
You know,
The steadiness of mind,
The openness of heart,
To offer an appropriate response in each situation,
You know,
That would be a lot.
Maybe it would be everything,
But even with all the practice in the world,
And all of us have a lot of practice,
So I'm combining all of our practices,
I still don't feel like the world is understanding the appropriate response right now for Israel-Palestine,
For the US House of Representatives,
For Ukraine,
For the entrenched and systemic issues of our times.
And at the same time,
It feels to me like there are so many possibilities for an inappropriate response,
You know,
For the consequences of an inappropriate response,
And for that to cause so much harm.
This is a kind of don't-know mind.
In other words,
What I'm saying is,
Not knowing what the appropriate response is,
This is don't-know mind.
This is the mind that Suzuki Roshi,
The founder of San Francisco Zen Center,
Encouraged us to cultivate an openness to each moment,
Letting go of so much certainty,
Staying in that liminal space until we do know,
And then leading with wisdom and compassion.
Or maybe staying in that liminal space until we can lead with wisdom and compassion.
And sometimes that feels easeful and relaxing and useful,
But I have to say that right now,
I'm also noticing a kind of grasping for wanting to know what to do,
What is the right thing to do.
I met with James Beres yesterday,
My teacher of many years,
And he pointed me back to the qualities that form the foundation of an appropriate response,
Which are really the qualities of don't-know mind.
And he did it by reminding me of Dr.
Martin Luther King's words,
And also the words of the Buddha.
Dr.
King said,
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
Begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil,
It multiplies it.
Through violence,
You murder the hater,
But you do not murder hate.
In fact,
Violence merely increases hate.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
Adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness,
Only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate,
Only love can do that.
The Buddha said basically the same thing,
Or one line of the same thing.
He said,
Hatred does not cease by hatred,
But only by love.
This is the eternal truth.
So I'm taking these together to mean to remember moment after moment,
To keep love top of mind,
To not harden my heart in any direction,
To not side for or against anyone or anything,
And to try to stay in that liminal space of not knowing until wisdom can arise,
Until compassion is really present.
And also in all of that,
To not side for or against myself.
But I want to say this really runs counter to the legal training,
At least that I had.
Because first of all,
I was never allowed to not know,
Right?
I had to show up in full combat gear with certainty,
With purpose every day.
And plus there was always a war going on in my work.
The idea was,
You know,
Strike while the iron is hot,
Focus on winning,
Be loyal to the client,
To their desires,
And of course also be loyal to the billable hour.
It was definitely not about staying liminal,
Staying in not knowing.
It was definitely not about not hardening my heart,
And it was definitely not about love.
So that was my life as a corporate lawyer,
And sadly I think,
And as Dr.
King says,
Adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
So I accomplished a lot,
Accomplished,
That's in air quotes,
But I've also wondered about the harm I caused in service of those values,
You know,
In service to that lack of love.
So if you,
If you work in a very different field or a very different way,
I'm so glad for you.
Because another truth in mindfulness is that the things we think and pond become the inclination of the mind.
That combativeness that I cultivated,
It came home with me,
And it caused its own special harm.
And to this day,
I have to watch for it because it got in deep.
I have to watch often,
And so many years later,
Which way I inclined my mind.
So in this political moment,
On the precipice of war,
Or in the midst of war,
Or a few wars,
I also have to watch for that inclination of mind.
And when it comes up intentionally,
And sometimes with a kind of a creakiness,
Incline my mind and heart towards not knowing,
Which is what feels like inclining this mind towards love.
So if it seems like something that might be useful,
And if you have any conditioning like I do,
Towards that combative or even just disputatious mind,
You know,
Then maybe this is a good time and context to be watching for it to arise and intentionally inclining the mind towards wisdom and compassion,
Towards love.
I really love Pema's inquiry,
Back to Pema,
Pema Chodron's inquiry,
And I've turned it into my own kind of mini portable practice around this,
Around asking myself whenever I remember to do this,
Here's the question that she poses.
Am I going to practice peace or am I going to war?
Am I going to practice peace or am I going to war?
You know,
As a kind of moment to moment inquiry,
I'm using it,
And it feels good,
And it feels powerful,
And maybe an inquiry that will lead me to an appropriate response.
And so,
Yeah,
For me,
Right now,
I feel like the best thing that I can do is to keep staying okay with not knowing what that appropriate response is,
While also asking myself,
Am I going to practice peace or am I going to war,
Meaning bringing in as much love and peace into each moment,
And also,
Also remembering to relate to myself with that same peace,
Right,
Peace around not knowing,
Or,
Yeah,
Peace with not knowing,
Because I feel like any choice other than peace right now,
Who knows what happens next?
And that feels so scary to me.
But choosing peace,
And all of us choosing peace,
And maybe the collective mind inclining in that direction,
Because there's some force of nature that those neurons are flashing,
And we can somehow transmit that to one another,
Then it feels like we all have a chance.
Thank you for listening.
Let's,
Let's sit.
So finding a posture that's supportive for you right now,
Today,
Could be sitting up straight,
Could be leaning back,
It's really whatever you need right now.
Bringing the awareness to the body,
Just checking in,
Asking how,
How am I right now?
How is it?
Bringing the attention to the breath,
Or to the sound in your environment,
And offering,
Offering yourself a rest from thinking,
From worrying,
From concern.
And if it's useful,
Dropping in this inquiry,
This koan,
This riddle,
Am I going to practice peace,
Or am I going to war?
If it's useful practicing with that inquiry,
Even in relationship to whatever is arising in your practice,
Seeing if it's possible to bring peace to each moment,
To each breath,
To each thought,
To each emotion that arises,
Seeing if a peaceful,
The intention to cultivate a peaceful response to each breath,
To each thought,
To each emotion,
Seeing if that is onward leading,
Leads to peace in the next moment,
And working on the subtle level of relating to those moments when peace is not present.
Am I going to practice peace when I notice that peace is not present,
Or am I going to war with myself?
Can I practice peace with my own disputatious mind?
Am I going to practice peace,
Or am I going to war?
Thanks everyone for being here.
Be safe out there.
Love you all.
See you next Thursday.
