Self-Compassionate Problem Solving

Today we're going to do a self-compassion meditation.

Start by just getting into your favorite meditative posture.

I recommend sitting in a chair with your feet flat on the floor,

Making sure that your bottom feels comfortable in the seat,

Your back straight,

That your eyes are either closed or looking down at the ground in front of you,

Not focusing on anything particular but just holding a soft gaze.

Your hands can be resting on your knees with your palms down or you can place one hand in the other with your thumbs touching.

Finally just check in with your mouth and your jaw,

Make sure that you're not clenching your jaw,

That your tongue is relaxed and just sitting at the floor of your mouth.

Take a few moments to start focusing on your breath.

If it helps you can start by just noticing the coolness of the air as it passes by your nostrils or your mouth when you inhale and the warmth of the air as you exhale.

Or just notice the rhythm of your breath today,

The rate at which your body rises and falls with every inhale and exhale.

Maybe taking a moment just to notice where your breath is stopping.

Is your breath stopping near your throat or in your chest or is it getting all the way down into your belly?

Without forcing your breath just notice it,

Let it be wherever it's at today,

Just attuning yourself to the rhythm of your own breath.

Now that you feel more connected with your breath,

Take a moment to just check in with your body,

Any sensation you're feeling.

Perhaps even ask yourself where are you feeling the day?

Next I'll ask you to start to focus on a problem that you may be grappling with at the moment.

Start with something really small or if you're feeling up to it you can pick something that perhaps is a little more of a struggle for you.

Just whatever you feel ready to tackle.

Start to bring to mind anything that you can to remember the situation or events that brought about this problem.

Perhaps recalling any conversations that you may have had,

Any other people that may have been involved,

Even the environment that you were in.

As much as you feel comfortable,

Try to bring back as vivid a memory as possible of those moments.

What you're likely starting to notice is that a lot of the physical sensations and feelings that you had at the time are starting to come up in your body again.

Try to locate where you're noticing those feelings in your body.

If you feel it in a few places,

Just pick one for now and really try to pour your attention into the space in your body.

You may notice that even that allows the feeling to ease a little bit.

Next I'd like you to place one of your hands on the spot in your body where you're feeling these sensations.

Know that this hand is a compassionate hand.

This hand is there to listen to you and really wants to know how you're feeling about the problem.

Ask your hand to send love and kindness to this place in your body.

Now ask your hand to listen to this place in your body.

Really mindfully listen.

Through your hand,

Ask this place in your body,

Why don't you tell me a little bit about the problem.

Why don't you tell me what happened and how it made you feel.

If you notice that your mind has wandered,

Come back to your breath and in your next inhale,

Start to focus on your hand and that point in your body again.

And through your hand,

Ask yourself again,

Tell me about the problem and tell me how it made you feel.

Next through your hand,

That's this place in your body to tell you something new about the problem.

Have your hand ask you to share a perspective that perhaps you hadn't thought of before.

Listen carefully to whatever comes up,

Being open to whatever response there may be.

Next through your hand,

Ask yourself again,

Tell me what happened and how it made you feel.

Next through your hand,

Ask yourself again,

Tell me what happened and how it made you feel.

Next through your hand,

Ask yourself again,

Tell me what happened and how it made you feel.

Again,

If your mind wanders,

Come back to your breath and then focus on your hand and that point in your body again.

Finally,

Through your hand,

Ask your body if there's anything more it wants to tell you about the problem.

Listen openly and mindfully as if you were listening to a close friend.

Next through your hand,

Ask yourself again,

Tell me what happened and how it made you feel.

Without removing your hand from that place in your body,

Begin to think of a time that you felt compassion,

That you received the compassion of another person.

They gave you nothing but love and kindness.

You've remembered a little bit about that feeling of compassion and what it's like.

Begin to send that feeling of compassion through your hand and to this place in your body.

As you continue to picture that warm compassion and kindness moving from your hand into that space in your body,

Notice how it feels to receive that compassion.

Notice how it affects this place in your body and your relationship to the feeling of that problem.

You can picture that warm compassion and kindness actually filling you.

Perhaps coming in through your body like warm white light,

Starting to circulate through your whole body,

Making you feel light and happy.

Finally,

Keeping your hand on this place in your body,

Begin to repeat the following to yourself.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy and safe.

May I love and accept myself just the way I am.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be an example of peace.

Again,

Repeating it silently to yourself.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy and safe.

May I love and accept myself just the way I am.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be an example of peace.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy and safe.

May I love and accept myself just the way I am.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be an example of peace.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy and safe.

May I love and accept myself just the way I am.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be an example of peace.

If you need,

You can pause the video and continue to repeat those phrases to yourself until you can start to feel that place in your body,

That place that was holding on to the suffering of that problem begin to soften even slightly.

Once you're ready,

Thank your hand for the compassion it showed you and return to your regular meditative stance.

Take three very slow deep and cleansing breaths,

Getting deep into your belly,

Just allowing your body to relax and let go of any sensation it may still be holding on to.

Finally,

You may conclude by asking yourself the question,

What do I now know?

What have I learned from this experience?

As you hear the chime of the meditation bells,

Continue to think about the answer to that question until the end of the third bell when you can open your eyes and come back to the room.