This session will help when you are considering different goals or trying to make a decision and you have different options.
You might want to have a journal nearby,
And you might even pause this recording to give yourself a little more time to write down your answers.
Sometimes the most supportive mindfulness practice is the one that gets you outside of your own head and when you're by yourself,
One of the best ways to do that that I have found is to write down your thoughts so that you can see them on a piece of paper outside of you.
So the first question is how do you imagine you'll feel at the end?
You have a few different options that you're considering,
You're wondering which choice to make,
And so imagine for each of these options,
Imagine that you have successfully accomplished this or that you have followed the path to whatever end you expect it to lead to.
How do you imagine you'll feel at the end?
Take some time and write down all of the thoughts that come up.
The next question is on a scale of one to ten,
How much do you believe that you can achieve that and why?
When you ask this question on a scale of one to ten,
How much do I believe I can achieve this and why,
You will start to bring to the surface some of the beliefs and constraints as well as the resources that are present in your life circumstances that maybe you're not looking at clearly.
And when you ask that question on a scale of one to ten,
How much do I believe I can achieve that,
It might evoke certain beliefs.
Why do you believe that about yourself?
For example,
Maybe you believe you're too young to achieve your goal or maybe you believe you're too old.
What is it showing you about your belief of self and what you are noticing about your environment?
Take time with this question,
There's no need to rush through,
And be very mindful as you activate your curiosity.
Question your beliefs gently,
Maybe even gather more information so you can choose where to focus.
Get curious and see what comes up and write it all down.
Your next question is what are the associated risks and costs that you're perceiving?
This can include a lot of different things.
As a starting point,
Anytime you're making a decision or choosing a goal,
There is a part of your brain that is wondering,
What's the risk?
What could go wrong?
And what is it going to cost me if I take this path?
Now those risks and costs can point to a lot of things.
It might sound like,
What will people think?
What would the relational risk or status risk be?
Maybe that's what you're afraid of.
Or maybe the question is,
Who will be mad at you if you fail?
Or who will be mad at you if you succeed?
Sometimes by asking questions like this,
It can reveal a lot of beliefs that are quietly behind the surface of your conscious mind.
So ask yourself,
What are the associated risks and costs?
What might be required?
Ask yourself how much time it will take.
What's the risk in terms of the time required or the time you believe is required?
And how much energy will it take?
How much money will it cost?
Is there a risk that you see in choosing to spend money on this decision or on this other goal?
And what might you need to give up in order to reach that goal?
Sometimes the thing we give up is not money or time or energy,
But instead it's an identity.
What might you need to give up in order to reach that goal?
Maybe you'll need to let go of your identity as the problem solver or the hero or the most reliable one,
The one who is always there and puts everyone else's needs ahead of your own.
Because maybe in order to reach this goal,
Or maybe in order to commit to this decision that you feel so heart and soul aligned to,
Maybe it's time to let go of that past identity.
I don't know,
But it's something to question and get curious about.
We're asking,
Ultimately,
What's really on the line here?
What really is the risk or the potential cost associated with this choice?
Sometimes it might even sound like,
If I never try,
Then I won't have to risk failing,
And then I won't feel disappointed.
And so even though there is a desire to change something or make a specific choice,
If there is a fear of feeling disappointed or a fear of failing and then being seen in a certain light by people you care about or even people you don't,
Sometimes the fear is the people that were mean to me,
That said I wasn't ever going to be able to succeed at this,
The people who never believed in me,
My secret fear is that maybe they were right.
And I'm afraid that if I try and then I fail,
Then it will just prove that they were right all along.
And so be really gentle,
Very mindful when you are getting curious about any fear or tenderness that comes up when we're considering any associated risks and costs with making a decision,
Choosing a goal,
And creating change of any kind.
Even if you are creating a change that is positive in your life,
There still might be someone who isn't happy about that.
There might be someone who feels sad or abandoned,
Or they might feel like they're going to lose you now that you are gaining momentum and going through this change of direction.
So this is an opportunity to simply put down on the page to be curious and take a look at what are some of those different associated risks and costs that might come along with the different choices and options you have.
And our last question for this series is to ask yourself,
What capacity do you have right now?
Asking this question and being honest with yourself will prevent you from over committing and exhausting yourself.
You want to be real about your current situation,
Energy,
And resources from a very grounded and loving and mindful place.
This is about taking an honest assessment and honoring your own energy and your own seasons.
So take time to write down what capacity do you really have right now in light of all of the other answers that have come up as you have been evaluating your different options and sit with the answers that have come up.
Close the book and then walk away and let them simmer and maybe come back again,
Revisit the questions,
Revisit your answers,
And see if there's anything new that comes up or any new patterns that are revealed to you when you review what you wrote down.
This practice of mindfulness,
Of bringing a quality of attention that is present,
Curious,
And kind,
That is infused with love and care,
This is one of the ways that you can use mindfulness to support you in real,
Regular life.
You make decisions all the time about small things and really deep,
Significant things.
When you pause to reflect,
Ask some questions,
And welcome the answers that come up out of you,
Doing this without judgment,
But instead with compassion and tenderness,
With curiosity and love,
You might be surprised by the wisdom that you are able to access through this practice all on your own.
So thank you so much for listening.
Come back for a replay anytime you want to walk through these questions again.
