Episode Seventy-Five: The Byte - Kayla Herrera

Welcome to episode 75 of Bite Sized Blessings.

In this episode,

I get to interview Kayla,

Nancy,

Herrera,

And on her Instagram,

She describes herself as a barista,

Which basically means she's really passionate about coffee.

And yes,

She is indeed passionate about coffee.

And I think it's so interesting that this passion for coffee was started essentially by her mother.

Kayla recently traveled to the U.

S.

Coffee Championships,

And on their website,

She has this blurb.

I will always remember the day my mom let me drink my first cup of coffee with her.

It was gas station coffee with cream and sugar.

I'm not sure if I truly like the taste,

But the time I spent having an intimate conversation with my mom made me fall in love with the concept of how coffee can bring people together.

If it wasn't for that one day with my mom,

I'm not sure I'd be so passionate about coffee.

And this interview is really about the love of a mother for a daughter,

The love of a daughter for her mom,

And the miracle that happens between the two.

Our parents are our role models,

If we are lucky.

And Kayla's mom was indeed that.

This episode is so touching and powerful and so very special because Kayla gets to talk about just what a miracle her mother was in her life.

I was very grateful that Kayla chose to be so vulnerable and share this story with me.

So now,

Episode 75 of Bite Sized Blessings.

It was a weird morning.

It was summer.

My mom worked at the labs,

Los Alamos labs.

It was weird.

I woke up at like 9 and went to the kitchen,

And I see my mom on the couch.

She's just laying there,

And she's kind of,

You know,

Her feet are up on the ottoman,

And she kind of looks like she just has a really bad migraine.

Like,

Her eyes are closed,

And she's holding her hand on her head.

I'm like,

Hey,

Mom,

What are you doing home?

Like,

I thought you were supposed to be at work.

And she seemed really serious.

I could almost feel like she was scared,

But I didn't know why.

I just felt like something was wrong.

Like,

I don't know what it was.

I just didn't feel it was going to be good,

What the doctor said.

And my dad comes home,

And it's me,

My mom,

And my dad,

And we're all on the couch sitting together.

And it's my mom's in the middle,

My dad,

And me are on the other side.

And my mom looks at my dad and just tells him she has cancer,

And it's not good.

I don't — I feel like I tend to try not to talk about my mom too much in any time,

But I'd love to.

And also,

You know,

She's not allowed to tell her own stories.

But I will tell you one really funny story,

And then I'll get into some small little serious-ish stories.

There was one time — and this was my mom,

To tea.

Like there's a story to tell about my mom.

For one,

She was very athletic,

Probably where I got most of my competitiveness from.

And you know me at work,

Like I'm very competitive.

And most of the time,

Against myself.

I'm like more competitive against me than anyone else.

So she played slow-pitch softball.

I got to go to games with her all the time.

And of course,

There's other kids playing with us that are around my age.

And you know,

We don't even watch the game.

We're just doing whatever we want to do.

And at the end of the game,

They have this whole thing too,

When you strike out in slow-pitch.

Because I don't know if you've ever seen slow-pitch.

It's a really slow game,

And they really do pitch it really slow.

And it's easy to strike out,

Because you just want to hit it so bad that you like have to wait forever.

But if you strike out,

The ladies would always scream,

You owe us a six-pack!

That was the rule.

You owe us a six-pack if you strike out.

And so at the end of the game,

They would always have a beer or a few drinks.

And my mom was the life of the party.

I like,

I'm telling you,

She embarrassed me.

Like I was always so embarrassed.

I'm like,

God,

Mom,

Just stop.

But I remember we were like all hanging out.

It's about probably 930 at this point on like a Tuesday.

Like I should be in bed for school.

And my mom is on a cooler,

Dancing the cha-cha-cha,

Because it was like their aunt's,

Like it was their joke.

Not even in her regular shoes,

Like still in her cleats.

On an empty cooler.

And I just see my mom fall right on her ass.

And of course,

Like she's laughing on the ground.

All of the ladies are laughing.

And I'm just over here like so embarrassed.

Like,

Oh my gosh,

Mom,

What were you doing?

Cha-chaing on the cooler.

To see that smile and the way she made everyone feel,

Even if it was a silly thing of doing a cha-cha-cha on an empty cooler in your cleats,

That clearly was a bad idea.

It was always so sweet.

And I even think she like fell and was like,

I saved my beer.

Like,

You know,

Everyone's like clapping and happy.

So that's one of my favorite stories.

And I only say it because she lived her life and she had fun and she worked really hard for what she had and what she gave us.

She would light up,

Her smile would light up the room,

Any room.

She was amazing.

My mom was so strong,

Kirsten.

So going back to the three months,

It was a weird morning.

It was summer.

My mom worked at the labs,

Los Alamos labs.

Amazing computer scientists basically programmed all of those computers and was like really,

Really high in her field.

It was like my first summer that I didn't have to go to summer camp because I was old enough to stay home.

It was weird.

I woke up at like nine and went to the kitchen and I see my mom on the couch.

She's just laying there and she's kind of,

You know,

Her feet are up on the ottoman and she kind of looks like she just has a really bad migraine.

Like her eyes are closed and she's holding her hand on her head.

I'm like,

Hey mom,

What are you doing home?

Like I thought you were supposed to be at work.

And she seemed really serious.

I could almost feel like she was scared,

But I didn't know why.

I literally still at this point just knew she went to the doctors.

I just felt like something was wrong.

Like I don't know what it was.

I just didn't feel it was going to be good.

What the doctor said and sure enough,

It wasn't.

All I know is that my mom,

It looked like she was crying a little and then she right away wiped her tears off with smiling and was,

Hey,

I'm going to need you to call your dad.

Can you tell them to come home for lunch?

And I was like,

Okay.

Once again,

Not a big deal.

I'm like,

Maybe they just want lunch together.

And my dad comes home and it's me,

My mom and my dad,

And we're all on the couch sitting together and it's my mom's in the middle.

My dad and me are the other side.

And my mom looks at my dad and just tells him she has cancer and it's not good.

My dad kind of freaks out a little in more of like an upset way,

But still was like playing it off cool.

And she just kind of looks at me and I'm still don't really truly understand what's happening.

And my mom just busted out crying and she just cried and just said how scared she was.

And me and my dad are holding her.

And that was the last time I've ever seen my mom cry in her whole three months of being sick.

You know,

She had to go get blood tests that day and she's terrified of needles.

She's not terrified of much,

But that's one fear she has.

And I just remember we were driving in my mom's red Grand Cherokee Jeep and we're like on St.

Michael's going to St.

Vincent's Hospital.

And my mom,

I like said a joke to her and I don't even remember what joke it was,

But it was a silly corny Kayla joke.

And if you know me,

You know,

I say really corny Kayla jokes.

And I remember she started smiling.

She like laughed and she looked at me and she was just like,

Keitha,

Keep telling me those jokes because this is the only thing that's going to get me through it.

And it was just,

It was a,

It was a beautiful bonding moment where for that moment,

I think I,

I helped her smile again.

I would love for you to tell me a corny joke.

Okay.

Well,

I've already told you,

I think all my jokes in person.

So I guess I'll just say one,

But I'll say,

I won't say a dirty one because I have that.

I have a dirty one,

But I think I just recently told you,

What do you call a man filling,

Putting water into a jug?

I have no idea.

Philip.

It's so bad.

It's so bad.

Oh,

It's so bad.

But I love it.

I do want to be the best like dad joke or in my future.

That's one goal for my life.

I feel like I'm getting close.

Sometimes people tell me the thought of even asking,

You know,

When a beloved one has passed away someone or,

Or,

You know,

An animal that you've dearly loved has passed away.

I've heard so many stories of those humans,

Those animals coming back and saying,

I'm okay.

Did you ever have that experience with your mom?

Oh,

Wow.

That's such a great story or like a great way segue to a story that doesn't get told that often.

Cause I,

I just don't tell people this,

But I personally haven't had one,

But my dad,

My senior year had a pretty crazy one and he was really shook up.

He even woke us up in the middle of the night to tell me what happened.

So he wakes up from bed and he just said he like stood up cause it was really cold and he can see his breath and he kind of looked around and when he turned back around to his side,

My mom was sitting on the bed right by him.

Of course my dad freaks out in excitement and just starts asking her tons of questions.

Are you in heaven yet?

Are you okay?

You know,

We miss you,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Pretty much my mom just looked at him and told him,

No,

I'm not in heaven yet,

But reassured him that like she's okay.

And then my mom,

The first thing she actually asked my dad was how,

How's,

How's Kayla doing?

My dad was excited because I was also in sports and you know,

I was varsity starting and basketball,

Softball,

And I played volleyball and all of these things.

My dad basically was just so excited and was like,

Oh,

She just played the state championship basketball and she did so great.

And now she's going into softball.

Apparently he said my mom just had a really big smile and then he woke up.

It was,

It was really beautiful and sad,

You know,

Like it was really great that she asked about me.

And I still truly feel this,

Even though I,

I have a lot to work on still and it's been,

It's going on,

It's going to be going on 16,

Maybe 17 years.

I think I'm losing track at this point,

But I'm like still struggling with her not being around and,

And I even feel like she knew I was struggling back then.

And,

And I kind of take it in the way of she just wants to make sure I'm okay.

Cause I think out of everyone I took it,

I took it the hardest later on in life.

So yeah.

So yeah.

I think that's the story and like,

I know she's just there and,

And I can,

I could feel her sometimes.

Well,

It's a massive loss and so unexpected.

There's a difference between someone dying in a catastrophic car crash,

Right?

That's also unexpected and you don't get to say goodbye,

But you had the blessing of that additional three months,

But it's also almost a sorrow and a trauma of having those three months and it's beautiful,

But also I suspect for everyone,

But especially children,

Right?

To process that and to be present for that person,

But also for your sister and your father,

It's not something that's easily gotten over.

You know,

You can have probably years of therapy and it'll still be devastating because your mother sounds kind of like this light in the darkness that brought everyone together,

A force of nature,

Someone who models how we all should live.

And those people,

It's so devastating and horrible when they aren't here anymore because the world's lost a little bit of light.

And by the way,

You were that every day when I see you.

You're going to make me cry.

No,

This is what's going to make me cry.

She'd be very proud of you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That actually means more to me than any accomplishment I've ever had in my life.

Just wanting her to be proud of me and also be just as good as she was and show people that and show people I'm nice and I care and I care to a fault,

To a point,

But I care because honestly,

Kirsten,

It's a fraction of who she was.

And so when someone says that I have my mom's smile or that my smile brightens up,

Like I just feel like it's not even my smile.

It's the best way I can carry on her life.

And that's it.

Thanks for listening to episode 75 of Bite Sized Blessings.

I need to thank my funny and brave guest,

Kayla,

And thank her for sharing the beautiful story about her mother and for also being so brave and telling all of those dad jokes.

I need to thank the creators of the music used as well.

Tyga Sound Productions,

Alex Productions,

Mikhail Hellman,

Music L.

Files,

Brian Holt's music,

Winnie the Moog,

Chilled Music,

And Sasha End.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite Sized Blessings website at bite-sized-blessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to books,

Music,

Artists,

And other cool items I think will lift and brighten your day.

Thank you for listening and here's my one request.

Be like Kayla.

Be yourself.

Tell bad jokes.

Tell good jokes.

Tell dad jokes.

Just be funny and tell jokes.

Be brave.

Put yourself out there.

No matter what happens,

You're sure to bring some smiles and a little more levity into everyone else's day.

Thanks for listening to Episode 75 and see you next week.

Bye.