Welcome to Breakdown to Breakthrough,
The podcast that empowers you to transform your life by awakening to your true,
Authentic self.
I'm Lisa A.
Romano,
Your host.
As an award-winning author and certified life coach,
I've dedicated my life to helping others understand the incredible power of an organized mind.
I believe that true empowerment begins with awakening to our false self.
My mission is to support you on your journey toward mental and emotional regeneration through conscious and deliberate awakening.
In this podcast,
I'll share insights,
Tools,
And transformative stories that illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery.
Overcoming loneliness and the quest for belonging.
This is going to be a scientific and spiritual perspective.
Loneliness is a universal human experience,
Yet it often feels isolating and overwhelming.
It is a state of mind that transcends geographical boundaries,
Age groups,
And social statuses.
While loneliness can be a temporary feeling,
Chronic loneliness can lead to serious mental and emotional and physical health issues,
Including depression,
Anxiety,
And even cardiovascular diseases.
Understanding loneliness through both scientific and spiritual lenses can offer a holistic approach to overcoming it and fostering a sense of belonging.
Many of adult children of alcoholics and those raised by narcissistic parents,
Children of abuse,
Children whose parents have suffered some mental health crisis or even physical illness,
Children who grew up in foster care,
And often children who are even adopted,
Often come into therapeutic situations and coaching situations where they have this overcoming sense of loneliness and a quest for belonging.
It's really important that we all recognize that is completely normal.
You're not broken,
And there's nothing wrong with someone who has a quest for belonging when as a child,
Their heart space was not filled up with love.
So let's understand loneliness.
Loneliness is not merely the absence of what some would consider friends or social connections.
It is a complex emotional state that can arise even in the presence of others.
So there's a disconnect.
Psychologists define loneliness as a discrepancy between desired and actual social relationships.
I talk about this a lot.
We have this inner desire,
This inner expectation.
It's in our heart.
It's in our imagination.
It's included in anticipatory anxiety that's using our brain and our mind and our nervous system and our imagination in the wrong direction.
But when we have a desire,
It's all in the nonphysical.
And when the physical does not match the nonphysical,
That's when we suffer.
That is human suffering.
When individuals feel disconnected from others or perceive their social interactions as unsatisfying,
They may experience what we would be able to identify as loneliness.
Research indicates that loneliness activates the brain's threat system,
Triggering feelings of anxiety and depression.
Studies have shown that social isolation can lead to increased levels of cortisol,
The stress hormone,
And diminish your immune response.
This biological response underscores the importance of social connections for our overall well-being.
But here's the thing.
If we're in survival and the amygdala and hippocampus are activated and our memories of the past are getting in the way of our now,
Then we can't have these social interactions.
We can't have these social connections.
And if you think about the research,
When the brain's threat system is activated,
Blood is shunted from your torso,
Your heart,
Your lungs,
Your stomach,
Your ovaries,
Your uterus,
Your sex organs,
Your sex glands.
Blood is literally shunted from those areas,
Which means oxygen-rich blood is shunted to your hands and your feet in preparation for fight or fleeing.
The science of belonging,
And let's talk about that a little bit.
Belongingness is a fundamental human need.
You're never going to outgrow it.
You can push it away,
And you can say,
I don't need anybody,
And I don't want a relationship,
And I'm cutting myself off from the world.
You can do that,
But that's sort of like living with one lung or one brain hemisphere or with one chamber of your heart functioning,
Which would be impossible.
You're cutting yourself off from what you need.
So there is a better way,
And part of that is getting to the root cause of what makes you so afraid of connections,
What memories are running,
And can we get you out of these subconscious loops?
My pathway is the conscious healing pathway,
Where we address your level of consciousness through the expansion of your awareness,
Relying completely on your intelligence as a human being.
We understand that you are an intelligent human being.
You're not using your hardware correctly,
But if we can teach you through time and patience and the right skills,
Knowledge,
And wisdom,
And practical psychology,
If we can teach you and you stick with it for the long haul,
Your intelligence is going to be organized in a way that benefits you.
You will not suffer the way you used to.
So belongingness is a fundamental human need,
As articulated by psychologist Abraham Maslow in The Hierarchy of Needs.
When individuals feel a sense of belonging,
They are more likely to experience positive emotions,
Better mental health,
And improve physical health outcomes.
Conversely,
A lack of belonging can lead to feelings of worthlessness and despair.
Now always remember,
Dear ones,
Where your emotions go,
Your thoughts go,
And vice versa.
What I think,
I feel.
Now let's expand on it.
We've heard people say that thoughts become things.
This is why.
When I have an emotion,
I have a thought,
I generally open my mouth and say something that mirrors what I'm thinking and feeling,
Even if I'm self-sabotaging,
Even if I'm pushing people away,
Even if I'm abandoning the self.
So that's really important that we recognize that.
So research has demonstrated that social connections can enhance resilience and coping mechanisms.
Engaging in social activities,
Even in small doses,
Can significantly improve mood and reduce feelings of loneliness.
Building a sense of belonging involves not only connecting with others,
But also fostering an environment where individuals feel valued and accepted.
So here are some practical strategies to overcome loneliness.
Cultivate self-compassion.
Begin by fostering a gentle,
Compassionate attitude towards yourself.
Acknowledge your feelings of loneliness without judgment.
Self-compassion can help reduce negative emotions and create a sense of inner security.
Engage in meaningful activities that are important to you.
Identify activities that resonate with your interests and values.
Engaging in hobbies or volunteer work can provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals and foster connections based on shared passions.
Utilize technology wisely.
While social media can sometimes exacerbate feelings of loneliness,
It can also be a tool for connection.
Use technology to reach out to friends and family,
Join online communities,
Or participate in virtual events that align with your interests.
Practice mindfulness and meditation.
Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present and reduce feelings of isolation.
Meditation can foster a sense of connection to a larger community,
As well as cultivate a deeper understanding of your own emotions.
Join support groups or classes.
Consider participating in support groups or classes that focus on personal growth,
Hobbies,
And shared experiences.
These environments can foster a sense of belonging and provide a safe space for your connections.
Consider coaching programs or professional help that help you get to the root cause of these inner child wounds that create this sense of loneliness at your core.
If feelings of loneliness persist,
Also consider reaching out to a mental health professional.
Therapy can provide valuable tools for understanding and addressing loneliness,
As well as improving social skills and self-esteem.
Now let's talk about the spiritual perspective.
From a spiritual standpoint,
Loneliness can be viewed as an invitation for self-discovery and growth.
Embracing solitude can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and a greater connection to the world.
Spiritual practices such as meditation,
Prayer,
Or nature works can foster a sense of connection to something larger than oneself,
Whether that be the universe,
Humanity,
Or a higher power.
The concept of interconnectedness is central to many spiritual traditions,
And recognizing that we are all part of a larger tapestry of life can alleviate feelings of isolation.
This perspective encourages individuals to seek connections not just with those around them but also with the world at large.
So dear ones,
Overcoming loneliness and fostering a sense of belonging is a multifaceted journey that involves both scientific understanding and spiritual exploration.
By cultivating self-compassion,
Engaging in meaningful activities,
Leveraging technology,
Practicing mindfulness,
And seeking professional help,
You can navigate the complexities of loneliness with greater skill.
Embracing the spiritual aspect of connection can further enrich this journey,
Leading to a more profound sense of belonging and fulfillment in your life.
Remember,
You really are not alone in your feelings,
And the path to connection is always open for those willing to take the first step.
Namaste dear ones,
Until next time.
