Today we're exploring the Brahma Vihara of Appreciative Joy,
Also known as Sympathetic Joy.
In the Pali,
It's Mudita,
And that's how I'll refer to it.
Mudita.
And to start,
I'd like to read something from the Dalai Lama.
Joy is the reward of seeking to give joy to others.
When you show compassion,
When you show caring,
When you show love to others,
Do things for others,
In a wonderful way,
You have a deep joy that you can get in no other way.
You can't buy it with money.
You can be the richest person on earth,
But if you care only about yourself,
I can bet my bottom dollar you will not be happy and joyful.
But when you are caring,
Compassionate,
And more concerned about the welfare of others than about your own,
You suddenly feel a warm glow in your heart because you have,
In fact,
Wiped the tears from the eyes of another.
So today's topic again is called Mudita.
Mudita is this appreciative joy that is pointed out by the Dalai Lama.
Having joy for others and in others' good fortune,
Really.
So it is the opposite feeling to what is known as Schödenfrade.
Schödenfrade is a German word that's been popularized by the comedian Trevor Noah.
He did a whole shtick on Schödenfrade.
And what this word means,
It's a feeling of satisfaction in hearing about other people's misfortune.
Like,
Oh,
Better them than me,
Right?
Our culture kind of leans towards Schödenfrade,
This struggle of ourselves against others.
It's kind of like as if we are somehow diminished or less successful or less acceptable if someone else succeeds or accomplishes something.
Like,
This is a strong view in our culture.
And this Schödenfrade,
It grows out of envy and comparison,
Whereas Mudita,
Appreciative joy,
Grows out of compassion.
And recognition of our shared humanity.
That somebody else achieves something,
Some level of happiness,
Is in a very real way our own happiness.
So it's a shift in perspective where we tell ourselves,
You know,
Good for them.
Just like me,
They want to be happy and they want to be successful,
Just like I do.
So Mudita recognizes that life isn't a zero-sum game.
You know,
There's not just one slice of cake in which if somebody takes more of that cake,
It means that we get less.
Mudita sees joy as limitless,
Immeasurable.
That's why it's a Brahmavihara,
A divine state.
I want to read something from the Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu.
There is an old story from the time of the Buddha,
The Dalai Lama said.
One day a king invited the Buddha and his monks for a lunch.
On his way to the palace,
The Buddha passed by a beggar who was praising the king and smiling as he spoke of the beauty of the palace.
After the king's servants served a long meal with many courses to the Buddha and his gathering monks,
The time came to make the dedication.
The Buddha chanted a prayer of dedication of merit or of good karma of the meal.
However,
Instead of dedicating the merit of the host,
The king who made the generous offering of the meal,
The Buddha and his assembly,
Which was the custom,
The Buddha chose the beggar standing outside.
Shocked,
One of his senior monks asked the Buddha why he chose the beggar for his dedication prayer.
The Buddha replied that the king was filled with pride in showing off his kingdom,
While the beggar who had nothing was able to rejoice in the king's good fortune.
For this reason,
The beggar had created more merit than the king.
So appreciative joy brings benefit.
So how do we cultivate and develop joy for others?
You know,
This is an important inquiry.
And one way,
A very simple way,
It's kind of an age-old adage,
Is counting your blessings.
You know,
Gratitude for what you have.
You may not have the big house out of Architectural Digest,
You know,
With every modern appliance and the highest quality of everything.
But you have a house that stays warm in the winter and cool in the summer,
And it keeps out the weather,
And you're not living in a shack.
So be grateful for what you do have.
This is a simple way of working for appreciating joy in others,
For their successes.
Another way that may be harder to remember is to remember and to stay close to our shared humanity.
As we practice,
This becomes stronger.
You know,
We're all in this life together.
You know,
Everyone around us are our human kin.
We're part of the same society.
And when humanity is happy,
We'll be happy.
Just like when your immediate family is happy,
You feel stability and you feel better off.
You know,
The poet Rumi,
He was considered one of the greatest spiritual poets ever to live.
And he said he didn't write down any of his verses.
He just heard them,
And he spoke them as they came to him,
Like he was a channel.
And it was the same for the Italian composer Puccini,
Who wrote beautiful operas,
Music.
He said,
I've done nothing as a musician.
I simply wrote down what I heard from God.
And what these examples illustrate is that nobody,
Nobody is working with their own original material.
Everything is infinitely connected.
Right down to this Dharma talk that I offer you.
If we have a strong sense of I and them,
It's hard to practice mudita.
The Dalai Lama advises us to practice we.
The more we do,
The more we develop the understanding of our oneness.
You know,
Just like me,
You want to be happy.
Just like me,
You want to be free from suffering and heartbreak.
Just like me,
You want to age with grace and meet your death with ease and peace,
Just like me.
That's the practice on the most basic level.
There's an ancient Tibetan Buddhist prayer that speaks to this quality of appreciative joy that I'd like to to end with.
As for suffering,
I do not wish even the slightest.
As for happiness,
I am never satisfied.
In this,
There is no difference between others and me.
Bless me,
So I may take joy in others' happiness.
Bless me,
So I may take joy in others' happiness.
Thank you.
