Overcoming Overwhelm

Hello.

Are you struggling with overwhelm?

Maybe you're feeling stressed because you've got a lot going on in your life or perhaps you're feeling stuck in a health,

Financial or relationship problem or a combination and you're starting to wonder which way to turn.

In this talk today,

I wanted to share a number of strategies I found really helpful to maintain my sanity and to navigate my way through life when it feels like everything is going wrong at once.

It's a well-known fact that when things go wrong in life,

They don't tend to happen in an orderly queue,

One at a time.

As we say in England,

Problems and difficulties,

Like buses,

Are apt to come together in groups,

Leaving us feeling overwhelmed,

Helpless and bewildered.

In my own life,

I've had times when I've been beset by financial and health difficulties in the family.

My husband woke up blind in one eye very shortly after a ceiling collapse.

Yes,

This really did happen and a sick dog which left me with only the energy and mental capacity for firefighting.

So what are the things that help me remain calm and together?

Well,

I'd like to start off with a quote that I've always found so reassuring and comforting.

All shall be well,

All shall be well,

And all manner of things shall be well.

Julian of Norwich.

And I think this quote is so important to remind us that there's a season to all things.

The wheel of fortune is always turning,

The never-ending cycle of good times and bad times.

Please take comfort in the knowledge that nothing lasts forever.

Even though you might feel stuck and static in the middle of difficulties,

There's always light,

A new dawn.

And when we look back on times of struggle,

It's so often what everything seems most difficult.

That's when the first sprigs of new hope were evident,

If only we knew how to see them.

Everything passes.

I often like to think of the mind as being like a fairground.

When it's stressed and our thoughts are flying around,

We're taken spinning on a giant frantic roller coaster.

There's no space for silence,

Reflection or contemplation,

As thoughts dip up and dive,

Weave backwards and forwards,

Joining us up to the heavens and back down earthwaves at a frantic whirling pace.

Whilst we often fall into the trap believing this type of thinking is helpful,

That if we just think hard enough and for long enough,

We'll come up with the solutions to our problems,

This never helps us when we're feeling overwhelmed.

It adds to the problem.

It creates noise in our thinking,

Encourages repetitive thinking and limits our ability to create the space for new ideas and creative thought.

Well,

Let me share a couple of ideas that have helped me during troubled times,

But what I would urge you to do is trust your own intuition,

Your own innate guidance that will help you navigate these times if you stay quiet enough to listen to the wisdom of your own heart.

Keeping your attention focused on the present moment.

There are clearly always times when we need to think ahead,

To plan and organise our lives.

This isn't what I'm talking about here.

What I'm referring to is the tendency to ruminate on the future.

What am I going to do in three days,

Four weeks,

Five years time?

How am I going to cope?

What will I do if?

Not helpful.

Keep your focus on what's happening right now,

What action or steps you might need to take next.

A long-term focus can add to the overwhelm because as we all know,

There's a never-ending list of steps and actions we're going to have to take at some point,

Hence the feeling of overwhelm.

So keep it right here,

Right now.

Quieten your mind.

How you do this is a personal preference thing.

I like to take five minutes every now and again to take a deep breath,

Bring my attention to my body,

Notice where I'm holding tension and then breathe softness into that area.

You might like to go for a high intensive gym session,

Relax with yoga or simply spend time watching birds in the garden whilst you drink a hot mug of tea.

The choice is yours.

You can simply sit and do nothing but whatever you do,

Don't feed the overthinking noisy mind.

A calm mind is so valuable because it's in these quiet spaces that you'll suddenly have clarity about what to do next,

Which steps to take.

The mind muddle will disappear.

It enables us to sort through what's irrelevant thought chatter and what are the impressions and thoughts that are nuggets of gold,

The ones that can be of real valuable use.

Keep taking small steps forward.

Allow yourself time to recuperate and regather your strength when you need to.

Make taking rest a priority,

But keep moving forward when you can.

It's usually only small tiny steps that are required.

The small insignificant at the time steps that are all that's needed to keep building momentum.

Problems rarely need to be solved all in one go.

Seemingly unsurmountable difficulties can be resolved if you take it a moment forward at a time.

Get into the habit of asking yourself what step or action do I need to take right now and that might mean backing off for a time and sleeping for an hour or it might require something more active.

Start trusting that inner voice that will guide you gently and softly through the process.

You'll start to build the sense of when to take action and when to back off.

You'll allow the whole process to flow more.

Take care of your physical body.

Now is most definitely not the time to commit to a new punishing physical regime,

A strict diet or anything that's going to put your physical body under extra pressure.

Treat your body with exquisite care that you would lavish on a sick child.

Make it a priority to feed yourself nutritious food,

Rest and don't beat yourself up mentally if sleep eludes you.

Just do what you can without judgment or self-blame.

Spend time in nature.

Get outside every day.

Don't underestimate the power of a walk,

A cycle through country lanes or sitting for a quiet moment of reflection on a park bench.

The critical point is to get outside,

Get some fresh air and weather permitting,

Top up a vitamin D.

During a recent episode when my daughter was unwell for months,

My go-to daily respite was to swim in a lake for an hour each day.

There's nothing like embracing chilly water,

And I do understand this isn't everyone's idea of fun,

To narrow your focus from the current concerns and worries of your life to total and complete submersion,

Excuse the pun,

In this one moment.

Nature's restorative powers have the ability to restore our sanity and sense of perspective.

Walking on the ground barefoot,

Swimming in wild water or breathing in fresh air are the gifts that Mother Earth gives to us all,

And they're never more important than when we're struggling.

Reach out to others for support.

Despite my hermit-like tendencies and a proclivity to hide myself away when times are bad,

I know that reaching out to others when I'm struggling helps me gain perspective and reminds me that we're never alone during tough times.

It's perfectly okay to want comfort from others,

And those you love will want to help.

Talking through what you're facing with someone you trust can help you feel less isolated and provide a much needed emotional hug.

Don't struggle on your own.

Having said that,

I've noticed in myself that limiting time on social media can be incredibly important at these times.

Social media can be a fantastic way to keep in touch with others,

And it does have its uses,

But whilst when life is going well it's easy to see through the happy,

Shiny,

Sanitized versions of everyone else's life,

It can be trickier to question this when you're struggling yourself.

Give yourself a break from social media,

If only for a short time,

And keep focused in the reality of life,

Where everyone struggles at some point,

And glossy,

Sunny,

Shining days are for all of us only part of the picture.

Prioritize real-time connection with people who you love and trust,

And allow yourself to be comforted by their healing and loving embrace.

Take courage from the challenges you've already faced.

If you've spent even more than a few years on this planet,

I can guarantee that you've already faced challenges and difficulties that you've survived or resolved.

Remind yourself of the skill and courage you already possess.

You're not some hapless wimp who folds under the slightest pressure.

You've seen life,

You've been here before,

And survived.

Sometimes you've thrived,

Very often you've thrived,

And you've always lived to fight another day.

Don't underestimate your ability to deal with the challenges of life.

You've got this.

So I hope these ideas have brought you comfort if you're struggling with overwhelm.

Remember,

Nothing is forever,

And when we look back,

It's so often the situations and difficulties that have brought us the biggest challenges,

That in hindsight offer us the greatest potential for sharpening our resilience and growth.

We all have innate well-being and health,

Even though at times this can feel forgotten and lost,

But we are all far stronger than we know.

Trust you have this,

With lots of love.

And if you've enjoyed this,

Take a look at my other courses and talks.

And of course,

If you haven't already,

I'd be delighted if you'd follow me here on Insight Timer,

And then you'll be informed of any updates and lives I do.

But in the meantime,

Thanks so much for joining me here,

And I look forward to meeting you again soon.

Bye-bye.