In this recording,
I'm offering a short exercise guiding you through the three steps for cultivating self-compassion.
So arriving in a comfortable seat,
Feeling your weight on your chair,
Your feet on the ground and sitting in a relaxed but alert posture.
To do this activity,
We're going to call up a little bit of suffering.
Something that isn't traumatic or extremely upsetting,
But a recent irritation,
Frustration,
Disappointment,
Something that upset you a bit.
And you're going to just bring that experience,
That set of circumstances into your mind.
Perhaps remembering what happened,
If there were other people there,
What they did or said.
Any of the details that really upset you,
Calling up the emotions you felt at that time.
And then the first step in our self-compassion practice is to acknowledge the suffering.
So just quietly to yourself in your head or gently out loud,
Go ahead and say,
I see this suffering.
I see the hurt.
I am disappointed.
I'm sad.
Whatever emotion or emotions are coming up for you,
Go ahead and name them.
Acknowledge them.
The second step of this practice is to identify the common humanity in the emotions that you're experiencing.
So acknowledge the way in which there are others that have had a similar experience.
You might say something like,
Frustration is a part of life or it's natural to feel angry.
From time to time.
Or it's common to feel hurt when something doesn't go our way.
Identifying how you're not alone in your difficult feelings.
And the final step is to offer yourself some kindness,
Some tenderness to treat yourself the way you would treat a friend.
And so for this,
Our brain makes an even stronger connection to this kindness if we include physical touch.
That physical touch helps activate the nurturing hormones in our body.
So if you're comfortable,
I recommend experimenting with putting a hand on your heart,
A hand on your cheek,
Or even just holding your own hand in your lap.
And you can play around with the texture of that touch.
So is it heavy,
Is it light,
You know,
Exactly where do you place your hand?
You can experiment with that to find something that feels truly kind and nurturing to you.
And then again,
You're going to include some gentle words inside your head or softly allowed.
Just like you'd talk to a friend.
So whatever is true for you about a kind thing you'd say or want said to you in this situation.
Maybe something like,
Oh darling,
This will get better.
Or sweetie,
We'll figure this out.
Or hon,
You can get through this.
I'm here for you.
So you can customize the words and phrases for words and phrases that feel really authentic to you.
But also know that if initially you don't have a strong reaction or feel any great relief,
That doing the practice is still worthwhile.
