How To Overcome Political Differences & Feel More At Ease - by Dr. Femke E. Bakker

COURSE

How To Overcome Political Differences & Feel More At Ease

With Dr. Femke E. Bakker

Political tolerance is the willingness to put up with opinions and behaviors of others who you dislike. It is the oxygen of democracy, since tolerating each other is the pre-requisite for a peaceful co-existence. Tolerance is, however, one of the harder values to cultivate. It's a quality and we must consciously decide to foster and cultivate it. Over 10 sessions, you'll learn about the value of tolerance for any political community, and you'll explore what tolerance means to you personally. This course can challenge the beliefs you hold about yourself and others, it actively asks you to answer difficult questions about yourself and your ability to tolerate other opinions, beliefs, and behavior. Through the use of meditation, you'll find out who it actually is that you find hard to tolerate, and what your intolerance tells you about yourself. You are guided to explore these feelings, and to consciously connect, through the use of meditation, with the true unconditional love that we all have unlimited access to. This course is for: anyone who wants to be politically engaged from a more positive perspective, explore and cultivate their level of tolerance, feels challenged by the political ideas of others, gets stuck in patterns of blaming others for what goes wrong in politics. The tools you will learn during this course will support you to, over time, really start meaning it when you say that you "agree to disagree".


Meet your Teacher

Femke Bakker, Ph.D. is a meditation teacher and a political psychologist. She works as a professor at Leiden University, the Netherlands, where she teaches and studies political leadership, decision making, and political behavior from a psychological perspective. Over the years, Femke has been most interested in how diversity of individuals can explain political outcomes. Her research has received several awards, including the highly prestigious ECPR Jean Blondel Prize. In 2019, she received the PEACE-Grant from the esteemed Mind and Life Institute to study the impact of meditation on political behavior. Femke teaches meditation at Lila Meditation from the perspective that learning to meditate should be easy, pleasant & personal, thus no "one-size-fits-all" approach. She currently facilitates meditation courses, corporate meditation workshops, and private meditation coaching. She also offers guided meditations at Insight Timer, in English and in Dutch. Femke's mission, as a teacher and as a researcher, is to create awareness of the beautiful diversity among individual beings. And she believes that understanding and embracing this diversity is a personal choice of free will, but a choice that can ultimately lead to the understanding that we are all together in this.

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10 Days

4.8k students

4.7 stars

16 min / day

Acceptance

English


Lesson 1

Me And My World

Our first session introduces you into the meaning and value of political tolerance for a society. We like our world to be peaceful, pleasant, relaxed, and friendly. But then, others might 'spoil' that for you. Whether they are living in your house, or whether you see them on television, there are often things about others that we don’t like and our focus on them can make us feel irritated, annoyed or even angry. As a consequence we might feel that our world isn’t so peaceful, relaxed and friendly. Today, you are briefly introduced to the meaning and relevance of political tolerance for our (political) society. We then start with the first building block of tolerance with a guided contemplation practice.

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Lesson 2

What Is Political Tolerance?

In today's session we dive deeper into the meaning of political tolerance and it's value for democracy. Why is it so important to cultivate political tolerance? What is the value to us personally and are there any reasons not to be tolerant? After this discussion, we then start to explore what tolerance means to you personally. We will close with a thought about tolerating ourselves.

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Lesson 3

The Role Of Self-Love

Today, we discuss the importance of self-love as a prerequisite for feeling love and compassion for others. When we feel irritated (or worse) towards others, it is often a sign that we don’t acknowledge something about ourselves. We tend to project our fears onto others and blame them for our fears. By acknowledging ourselves first, we set an important pre-requisite to tolerate others. We continue with a guided lovingkindness meditation (metta) that focuses on sending love and compassion to ourselves, followed by sending and receiving love to and from people that we love.

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Lesson 4

Dealing With 'Difficult' Others Who Are Close To Us

When it comes to politics, everybody seems to have an opinion. And when others don’t share ours, we feel like we have to explain ourselves, defend our position and make them understand why we are right and they are wrong. It can be hard to accept someone else's opinion when it is so far away from your own. In particular, when these folks are closer to home, like our neighbors, relatives, or even our family members. In today's session, we explore how you can deal with intolerant feelings towards close ones.

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Lesson 5

"Easy" Political Tolerance

Today, we will expand our focus to others who are a bit more distant from us. We discuss how, if we want to learn to tolerate them, we will have to put in a bit more effort. Being open towards these people fits in with the view you like to have about yourself as a tolerant person. These folks offer a bridge between the feelings of tolerance towards ourselves and our loved-ones (which we have explored the last four days), and our feelings towards folks who are really very difficult to tolerate.

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Lesson 6

Opposing Political Ideas

Today, we take our work a step further and actively explore our feelings about folks who have very different political ideas. People who vote for a very different political party of political candidate. They trigger us, and make us forget why we should embrace diversity in our political and social life. We discuss why our political opponents are the most important people we would want to learn to tolerate. After all, we share a country. We are all in this together.

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Lesson 7

Embracing Diversity

In today's session we continue with the work we started yesterday. We recall why tolerating our political opponents, who are also our fellow citizens, are the most important people to learn to tolerate. We use a loving kindness meditation to start processing our intolerant feelings towards them. Our intention is clear: We want to learn to recognize the desire all beings share: to live a good and happy life. We, in your way. And they in their way. After all, self-compassion is the first step on this path.

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Lesson 8

Intolerance

Today, we get to the most difficult category of people: the ones we actually don’t want to tolerate because we dislike them so much. In other words: people you are instinctively inclined to be intolerant towards. We discuss how it is not our aim to embrace their perspective, nor to condone any behavior that you don’t want to condone. Rather, the goal is to discover what feeling they arouse in you and to explore what this feeling means. Through a visualization, we explore our intolerant feelings and what we need to soothe them. We finish with a thought about keeping our peace even when thinking about people who we find very hard to tolerate. If you feel like revisiting this day a few more times before you like to progress, that is ok. These can evoke difficult feelings, so please take your time.

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Lesson 9

Dealing With Intolerance

Yesterday we entered the toughest part of this course by exploring the feelings and emotions we hold about folks we dislike. Today we start dealing with these unpleasant emotions by using a loving kindness meditation. One session will probably not get you there completely. That’s perfectly normal. Just know that, over time, continuing to practice loving kindness meditation and sending compassion and loving kindness towards folks we so strongly oppose, will get you there. So, feel free to stick around a few days longer at day 9. We close with the same thought as yesterday, to actively explore our possible progress in dealing with our feelings.

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Lesson 10

Cultivating Political Tolerance

During the final session, we go one more time into the value of political tolerance. For ourselves, for our close ones, and for our society. We discuss how we, as individuals and as citizens, can take responsibility to foster and cultivate tolerance, using the tools of this course. The last meditation we share is loving kindness. We will close our course with setting the intention to recognize the feeling of oneness in our desires, no matter who we are. Please remember, the work you started here is the beginning of a process. Becoming more tolerant takes time. Allow yourself that time and always be kind to yourself.

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4.7 (154)

Recent Reviews

Laurie

August 13, 2025

Thank you for your guidance towards a more peaceful inner feeling about » being the change I want to see in the world » regarding politics, Femke. This is my second time through the course at your suggestion in the Self Gentleness Academy. How I love the work you are doing with our community of students in that Academy, on the way to a more gentle view of ourselves, our communities and the greater world. I loved the intro to day 9 about not having to agree with those who are so different than me in their thinking about the political structure for our country. I don’t have to even engage or come into contact with them. I can just work on my inner perception of what them as fellow human beings, by practicing more and more the loving kindness meditation. What came to mind was something my husband’s grandmother used to say : great minds discuss ideas, medium minds discuss event and lesser minds discuss people. So true in the political sense. If one with opposing views is willing to discuss the specific issues and their views of them and is interested about my views on the topic, then we can engage in a healthy discussion. If they are interested in drawing the lines, making it about us vs them, villifying those who belong to another party or even just haranguing against a particular politician, I will draw the line and politely ask to stop the discourse. Change topic before I sense the venom pouring out of them. The same with watching certain news outlets or reading what comes on my computer… turn off what degrades, villifies and separates human beings. I won’t enter into reading that or discussion. The whole topic is so complex now as we see the influx of many from countries where there little democracy in action, where there is totalitarianism, where there is not a pursuit of civic society for the common good, but instead, corruption, classes of citizens, many of whom are oppressed, discriminated against and not given a chance at the food, healthcare, education and housing that is decent. The bullied, the oppressed often become the bullies, the oppressors if given the freedom to do so. The task is large to engage in building a more democratic and peaceful world, but we have to try, even on a very small and personal level.

Veronica

November 5, 2024

Een buitengewone kursus, juist vóór de verkiezing in de V.S, waar ik woon. Dank u, ik had die echt nodig! Translation: An extraordinary class, just before the elections in the USA, where I live. Thank you, I really needed this’

Annie

February 7, 2024

An important work. To build self-compassion and love, in order to extend that compassion and love (with grace and forgiveness) to others with whom we have different perspectives on politics and how to live ‘a good life’. Thanks Femke for your efforts in preparing this course and for your interactions in the classroom. May we all learn to be more tolerant. 🙏♥️

Patricia

September 8, 2022

Good course. Much needed !! It’s like forgiving- we do it to make our self more peaceful And to have a better life for ourselves. We can’t control other peoples judgements , only own own And I really want to feel inner peace living in this society Thank you

Donna

August 10, 2022

This has been a wonderful course that I will come back to in my journey toward tolerance. At this time August 2022 I’m hearing about groups in our country that are anxious to take up arms and fight for what they feel our country should be. This is alarming and I hope that there are still rational people who will be able to control those people. Thank you Femke 🙏🏼

Iiris

May 11, 2022

Good course on an important theme. I wish the course had somehow gone deeper, or more specifically, explored more varied themes and used more different exercises. The core message and the core practice of loving kindness meditation was repeated quite a lot. Still, this course got me really thinking and gave food for thought!

Laura

December 23, 2021

I really appreciate you providing this experience. Our time at this point feels so divided and helping each of us learn to become better stewards of acceptance of our differences will help breed more of the same. Thank you for that reminder. With love and acceptance-Laura

Judith

November 4, 2021

Excellent and important course that is really needed in this world. It helped me enormously in taking a new perspective.

Leslie

October 24, 2021

This was a very helpful course, with Metta practices to help encourage lovingkindness for ourselves and others. I'm certain I'll be returning to it again next political election cycle!

Kimber

January 9, 2021

Very much appreciate this course being put together. I repeated several of the lessons multiple times & suspect I will many more. While I still seem to have a visceral reaction when trying to display loving kindness to the person I’m least tolerant of, it does seem to be lessening so I’m hopeful with much practice, I might actually mean it when I direct it to him in the future

Wyverne

November 26, 2020

Thank you. Very helpful.

Riccardo

November 25, 2020

Great course, it open up to tolerance and to understand our emotional triggers when it comes to political confrontation with others. Indeed was useful for me. Thank you Femke 🙏

Michael

October 11, 2020

A lesson in daily living towards others and oneself to learn tolerance and understanding. 🙏🏻

Sarah

October 9, 2020

I thank Femke, for this most relevant and excellently facilitated course. It gave me useful tools for how to respond when triggered by others' opinions and behaviour. I highly recommend this course to everyone wanting to cultivate tolerance and loving kindness in all areas of life.

Marcia

September 16, 2020

Great course. And very timely. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

Meet

August 21, 2020

Perfect - thank you

Alicia

July 31, 2020

This course is so relevant right now, and I am so grateful that I stumbled across it. While it did help me to begin the process of showing more love and understanding toward others who do not share my political views, it also equipped me with the tools needed to have better relationships with everyone around me. Any time I am feeling frustrated with anyone for ANY reason, I find myself remembering that they are just trying to live a good and happy life, and it helps me to show so much more compassion toward them. I have started to heal a broken relationship with my mother through the use of this mindset. It's an incredible change after just ten days. I will continue to do loving kindness meditations as suggested, and will retake the course just to make sure I properly absorb as much of it as I can. Thank you so much, Femke. Your course is life changing.

Emily

July 30, 2020

Very very helpful to have a tool to deal with so many feelings during this difficult political time. Thank you

Brian

July 20, 2020

Wonderful! An excellent course presented by a professional and kind presenter. More please 🙏🕺🥰

guest6482976850049600844

July 18, 2020

Super. Thank you so much 😊

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