Relief From Jealousy

Welcome to a meditation for feeling,

Processing,

And releasing jealousy.

To begin,

You'll want to lie down on your back with either no pillow or a really flat pillow,

Giving an openness to your throat space.

Rest your hands open at your sides with relaxed palms and face them up.

For now,

Just notice how you're breathing and where in your body you're breathing.

You don't have to change anything.

You're just noticing.

Is it your belly?

Is it your chest?

Zooming all the way in to the smallest movements of your body and the aliveness that buzzes within you as you breathe.

Breathing on your own,

Just noticing that sensation of how the air passes through your nose or your mouth.

Consider deepening your breath a bit and as you breathe on your own,

We're going to turn our mind's eye toward the emotion of jealousy.

Now to clarify the term jealousy,

It's not just wanting what someone has,

Like being so impressed with someone's new house or promotion.

It's not the feeling of,

Oh,

I really want those things too.

That is envy.

Jealousy is seeing someone get something and feeling threatened or protective or fearful,

Like you're losing something or in danger of not getting something because they did.

We're getting specific because admitting to a feeling like that is pretty vulnerable and also really honest.

All of us feel jealous at one point or another.

And if you're listening to this,

I think you know this feeling well.

And the first thing I want you to do is just place a hand on your heart and take a deep breath.

I am not bad for feeling jealous.

It is okay to feel jealous sometimes.

I'm among many wonderful,

Kind-hearted,

Amazing people that sometimes also feel really jealous.

All of this is allowed.

And then I want you to settle your hands back down by your sides as we land here in the body,

In the human mind.

Breathing on your own,

Maybe deepening those breaths.

Now,

I want you to bring to mind the situation that is happening for you right now that is causing you to feel jealousy.

Now,

It might be a specific circumstance or a thing that's happened,

Or it might just be a person who generally makes you feel so jealous.

We are papering the walls of this session with so much safety and so much welcoming of any pettiness or judgment or scarcity-based thinking,

That thinking that normally you shut down as soon as it comes up because you judge it.

You're going to allow yourself to go there right now.

What is really making you jealous right now?

What is really making you jealous right now?

All right,

Now that you have that circumstance,

Just pulling it off the seat at the table,

Your jealousy's here.

Now,

I want you to begin to scan your body and notice,

Where is this jealousy showing up in my body right now?

The answer may or may not be readily available,

So just begin with a scan.

We're going to start at the crown of your head,

Through that beautiful brain,

Traveling through your throat and just noticing,

Traveling to your heart,

Your center,

Your chest,

Out through your arms and your fingertip,

Just scanning,

Where is that feeling?

Radiating this awareness,

The scan through your belly,

Your pelvis,

Your root,

Down to your legs,

The tips of your toes,

And just noticing.

It might be a tightness or a feeling of a rock,

A feeling of something being lodged,

It might be just a general buzzing or a heaviness.

Where is the jealousy showing up in your body right now?

Now,

Zooming into that place,

That part of the body you just found,

Then noticing,

What shape is this feeling?

Give it some construct,

What shape would that be?

Give it some construct,

What shape would that jealousy be?

Being present with any other feelings that might be arising,

Be they anger or shame or confusion about where this is coming from,

And just notice how the mind might be talking to you right now.

Some things it might say,

You shouldn't be jealous,

This is so silly.

You might not have any of those thoughts,

But if you do,

Or if you have different ones,

Just witnessing them,

Welcoming those thoughts too.

And as you become aware of this form and shape,

This feeling in your body,

Bringing it closer and holding it with compassion.

This is not a part of you that you were trying to cast out or chase off or shut down.

This is a wound.

This might be a younger self that truly didn't get what they needed.

This might be a part that formed because maybe there really wasn't enough of someone,

Something,

A part of you that gets into so much fear that there won't be enough again.

So just getting curious with this jealous form and then really cradling that part of you,

Gazing at it like you might a wounded,

Gentle animal,

A small child having such a painful cry,

The kind where they lash out at you,

A painful cry,

The kind where they lash out blindly flooded with so much hurt.

Cradling this hurting part of you in safety and then asking as you console them,

What do you need right now?

And just seeing what arises.

Being curious and open and just trusting what you hear.

If emotions or answers come,

Just breathing through them.

And if the answer isn't clear,

Just breathing through that too.

Realizing as answers come that you have the exact medicine.

Maybe that part of you is in need of connection or of a connection to something.

Or to be seen.

Maybe it needs more trust that there is enough.

Maybe it needs acceptance and love.

Maybe it just needs to feel the unfairness that can be a part of being human.

See yourself administering that medicine and feeding that jealous part a sweet nectar of whatever it most needs.

Seeing how this nectar medicine changes the form and how it feels and shows up.

Take a few deep connected aha breaths here.

That's in and out through the mouth.

There are no pauses between the inhale and the exhale.

And it's really gentle,

Making the aha sound.

Sounds a little bit like this.

Ah.

Feeling how these breaths reach this nectar to that part of you,

The ache,

And how the healing and acceptance feel as they radiate throughout your body.

And as you breathe these aha breaths,

Asking,

What am I breathing in and what am I breathing out?

Staying with the breath,

Staying within.

Allowing each breath to welcome,

Each breath to release a little more.

Feeling how this form changes with each inhale and exhale.

These gentle,

Connected,

Aha breaths are really loving on and healing and letting go of something within.

Now surrendering this breath and returning to a normal way of breathing.

And just noticing how your body feels right now.

You might still feel this jealousy,

But no longer is this part of you on trial for being wrong or bad.

There might be a loving action or a conversation or a boundary that you want to draw.

And you might be feeling a little bit of jealousy.

And you might be feeling a little bit of anger.

Or a boundary that you want to draw.

There might be a next step you decide to take.

Really trusting yourself to feel through those and all the while loving on this part too.

You are capable of holding multiple truths at once,

Of creating so much inner space.

The truth is that sometimes things happen that really hurt.

Sometimes the outside of our life really isn't okay.

The point isn't to act like everything is fine,

Because maybe it's not.

But below ground,

Deep in your own gritty roots,

Deep in your own gritty roots,

Where you are always connected to the heartbeat of your wisest self.

Always connected to the world you create by how you show up here.

Down there,

You are always okay.

You are always grounded into this thump,

Thump,

Thump of your own love.

You are doing such a good job being human,

Dear one.

And as our practice concludes,

Putting your hand over your heart and just sending love one more time to all of you.

When the situation or person or circumstance arises again,

Because you're human,

Just putting a hand on your heart and speaking from that wise self you just tapped into.

I'm here.

We're safe.

I love you.

We'll get through this too.

Thank you for practicing with me.