The Ego Game

It's very tricky,

The ego,

It's a master of disguises,

A master of disguises,

It just… You know,

You have to become aware of all of the disguises that it wears,

That's one of the things that we're doing here.

So Libby,

She's my sister in Australia,

She was on this course that I did several years ago where I called it the ego game.

I came up with the different characters of the ego,

For us to really be clear,

Each week we would look at a different character of the ego,

So that we could see how sneaky it is,

You know,

How we keep getting fooled,

And we had the perpetual planner,

Not the plan is not bad,

You know,

We need to plan,

We've got this prefrontal cortex,

This little simulation machine,

It's good,

It's good to go through the plan,

The problem is we keep going through the plan with me in the plan and then me looking for all the problems in the plan,

And me happy once the plan gets hatched,

Or once me gets over where it needs to get in the plan,

So we were looking for the perpetual planner,

We of course had the warrior in there,

Warrior's secret superpower that it can create problems out of thin air,

Of course we had the judge,

There's no compassion in judging other people,

No compassion,

No seeing reality,

Oh my god,

Not seeing reality when we're judging another person,

Like who needs our judgment,

Nobody needs our judgment,

And really looking at judging through the lens of compassion on that class,

You know,

We had the scorekeeper,

Its superpower is wreaking havoc in relationships,

Not understanding how relationships,

You know,

Sometimes,

You know,

They're not always exactly in an even give and take,

Sometimes you're giving a little more,

Sometimes they're taking,

And then sometimes it goes the other way around,

Scorekeeper always frames everything that I'm not getting enough,

So it wreaks havoc in relationships,

Oh,

We had the controller,

The controller,

Ah,

The controller,

Anytime the controller comes out,

We're the one that starts getting controlled by our thoughts,

Trying to fix something in our thoughts,

Driving ourselves nuts,

Oh,

I called it the opinionator,

Being attached to our views and opinions,

Where we just go around the world annoying everyone,

You know,

Trying to convince them that everyone should believe the same things we believe,

Not that we don't have beliefs,

Not that we can't have discussions,

But man,

It's painful talking to anyone who's attached to their views and opinions,

What else did we have in there,

Oh,

The victim,

Of course,

The victim is at the heart always of the ego,

I'm always a victim of the ego,

Because the ego is always a lack,

It's always never enough,

I'm getting screwed somehow,

What they're doing over there,

Even though it has nothing to do with me,

It's somehow affecting me,

And I'm a victim of it,

There's doubt,

Right,

The ego disguised as doubt,

You know,

Always coming in,

Oh,

You know,

Do you think you're really that spiritual,

Did you see what you did back there,

You weren't really so kind,

You know,

And it's,

Oh,

You were all over the place in your meditation,

You're not really a very good meditator,

Right,

I mean,

It's always,

You know,

Coming in,

It's doubt,

You know,

Think everyone else is ahead of you,

Everyone else is doing better than you,

So doubt,

You know,

Doubt being a good one,

Ego dressed up as a spiritual person,

Oh,

My gosh,

Loves to dress up as a spiritual person,

Loves to be spiritual,

Look at me,

I meditate,

When someone's telling you they meditate three hours a day,

They're telling you that their ego wants you to be impressed that they meditate three hours a day,

Or that they've been on this many retreats,

And this is my teacher,

And I've had this many initiations,

And I wear special clothing now,

And I've changed my name,

And I wear all the right mala beads,

So I do all the right things to look like a meditator,

You know,

And it's like,

That's not,

That's not it,

Now,

If you're a monk or a nun,

Of course,

Shave your head,

Wear the robes,

But man,

The ego loves to dress up as a spiritual person,

And it gets so pissed off when everyone isn't seeing it as a spiritual person,

Why isn't everyone bowing down to me,

Why isn't everyone being nice to me,

Don't they see how wise and compassionate I am,

Ego,

Just master of disguises,

Master,

It's funny,

It's funny,

Because we fall for it,

It's just,

It just has all these little back doors that comes in,

It's almost like playing whack-a-mole,

You're like,

I got it over here,

Oh,

I got all these,

I'm holding it down,

You know,

I've seen it,

I've seen it over here,

And then it comes out over there,

And it's,

Oh,

Shoot,

I didn't realize it was over there,

But the telltale sign of the ego,

The telltale sign is a constriction,

You will feel a constriction inside,

You literally feel yourself splitting into two as this little image starts to arise,

I'm not getting what I want,

I want what they have,

I don't want this person to have that,

How is that affecting me,

The little image that is the center of the universe,

That believes it is the center of the universe,

So that constriction and the image that comes out of that constriction,

And you can be pretty sure the ego's arisen,

Not that we don't feel tension ever,

It's that extra layer of it,

Like sadness,

Like we can feel sadness,

We can feel stress,

You know,

If something really is going on,

Right,

You got to react in that moment,

You know,

You can feel it,

It's not so consistent,

Like the ego just grips and stays,

Whereas even in sadness or grief or even in stress,

If we're really present with it,

We're really accepting that,

Oh,

I'm just arising in these causes and conditions,

Someone I love just lost someone they love,

One of my best friends just lost her mom last week,

Man,

You know,

We were talking,

It was just,

We were both in tears,

Right,

And you can feel like,

And you should feel,

You should feel,

We shouldn't not feel,

Right,

And the tears can flow and you can feel it,

But it's not this death grip,

It's a,

There's still a flow to it,

Because you can be with it,

Not have it overwhelm you,

So it's that grip when it gets you,

And I do think when you're aware of how it arises,

You're more prepared,

You're more prepared,

Maybe do an exercise,

Write down all of the ways that your ego arises for you,

You know,

Try and identify it when you're not lost in it,

It's a worthy exercise to spend a few minutes thinking about how does my ego get me,

How does it get me,

What are the ways in which it kind of spins me out,

So that I can be prepared for it when it comes in.