The Adult Chair Podcast: All Things Anxiety With Shann Vander Leek

Welcome to the Adult Share Podcast with Michelle Chalfant,

A place to delve into who we are,

How we got that way,

And explore what it takes to be a healthy grownup.

With an extensive toolbox and guests with varied expertise,

Michelle will lead us on a journey to learn what it's like to live authentically and to love ourselves just the way we are.

And now,

Here's Michelle.

Hello,

Everyone.

It is Michelle Chalfant.

I'm so happy to be with all of you today.

I have a wonderful guest on.

You are going to love her.

Her name is Shan Vanderleek.

I don't know if you remember.

If you are on my social media,

You might have seen when I was on her show,

Probably about a year or so ago,

She has a show called The Anxiety Slayer.

It's The Anxiety Slayer podcast.

It's amazing.

And Shan and her co-host Ananga Sivir,

They are award-winning podcasters,

Authors,

And anxiety coaches.

For over nine years,

The Anxiety Slayer's mission is to help you feel more peace and tranquility in your life with anxiety release exercises and supportive tools created to,

You guessed it,

Slay your anxiety.

With over five million downloads and hundreds of free podcasts,

Anxiety Slayer is one of the most listened to resources for stress and anxiety relief.

So as you can imagine,

Because we do talk about anxiety on the adult chair,

I was thrilled to have finally Shan on my show.

So she has offered today so many phenomenal tools and tips,

And she has an offer at the end.

I think you guys are going to love,

Love this show.

We talked about all things anxiety.

So you're going to love it.

Welcome Shan.

I'm so happy to have you on the adult chair.

This has been a long time in the making because I was on your show maybe,

Was it last year?

No,

The beginning of this year.

I don't even remember now.

It's been a while.

It's been a while.

I will just say it's been a while,

But ever since I was on your show,

I wanted you to be on my show.

So I'm thrilled,

Thrilled,

Thrilled to finally have you on the adult chair.

So thank you for being here.

Oh,

Thank you for your invitation.

It's a pleasure to be with you again.

I remember the last time we talked,

We could have gone on for hours and hours and hours.

We had so much in common and so much to talk about.

Yes,

Exactly.

So we have,

Again,

A lot to talk about today.

And we're going to try to keep this short and not go on for hours and hours.

But let's just start out with,

I'd love to know a little bit about,

Maybe let's start out like what your story is.

Tell us a little bit about the anxiety slayer.

Okay.

Sure.

Anything that you want to share with us.

Let's jump right into it.

Oh,

Sure.

I'd love to.

So my very good friend and business partner,

Ananga Sevira and I came together nine years ago with the idea that we wanted to create a course helping people who were suffering with stress and anxiety.

And in the process of creating that,

We thought,

Wow,

Maybe we ought to come together and do a podcast.

I knew I had a background in professional voice work and had my own podcast at the time.

She is a musician and engineer,

An incredibly beautiful musician.

And we started talking about our shared interests and we had all of these complimentary,

Heart-centered,

Really wanting to help people suffering conversations.

And we're like,

Oh my gosh,

This is going to happen.

And so at the time I was a big Joss Whedon fan.

I still am.

And Joss is the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel and a number of other shows.

So I'm a big geek on top of all this.

And I said,

You know,

I think I know the name of our podcast.

It's Anxiety Slayer.

And she was just immediately like,

Yes,

That's it.

Without even truly knowing my whole backstory of why.

We've had a lot of fun with that,

But the name stuck.

And now we're moving into our 10th year with almost 500 podcasts and lots of downloads and a great loyal following of listeners who show up weekly.

And most of what we do,

Michelle,

Is based on listener questions from both our open groups and private groups so that we can really drill down and answer specifically what our listeners are looking for.

And they keep coming back.

And Ananga and I have this great partnership.

She's over in England and I'm in Michigan.

And we've pretty much been meeting weekly for that whole time with the exception of,

You know,

Holidays or sick days,

Vacation days or what have you.

So we have this beautiful partnership and a fun podcast,

A supportive podcast and so many more things that we're up to that maybe we'll talk about later.

I love it.

I can't believe that you've been podcasting for 10 years.

We're going on our 10th year.

So we've been,

Yeah,

We were at the beginning of all of it.

I was going to say,

I didn't know podcasts were around for 10 years.

And I do love the name Anxiety Slayer.

That's beautiful.

I love it.

So let's just talk a little bit more about anxiety.

Like what,

In your opinion,

What is anxiety?

How does it happen?

I think that's a great question.

And where we start is with an understanding that our minds are so very fragile.

All of us,

That's everyone in the world has a very fragile mind.

And for those who suffer with anxiety,

There's are a little bit more out of balance.

And this is perfectly normal to have stress and anxiety happen on occasion when we have big things coming up,

Weddings and graduations and events and things.

That stuff that people are like,

Yeah,

I know how that feels.

I have that little bit of anxiety in my stomach that things aren't going to go just right or things might fall apart.

But then there's a group of people who feel like that almost every day,

Whether it's with generalized anxiety or health anxiety or just that undercurrent of feeling like,

Hmm,

Not everything's OK.

And so there's the sense of really needing to learn how to ground,

How to breathe,

How to care for ourselves in a way that we can finally exhale and find some peace within all of it.

Anxiety is something that you absolutely can move beyond.

And for some people,

It's harder to move beyond it than others.

And so most of the time,

Ananga and I are talking about how you can naturally care for yourself.

While we have people who ask questions all the time about medications and different things like that,

And that's fine for the people that need it and work with their doctors to do so.

Our approach is a natural approach.

And when we talk to folks,

We want to get them in their bodies first and foremost.

We want to teach them how to be grounded.

We want to remind them how to breathe and to get back in their bodies,

Because so often they're not in there.

If you know what I mean,

They're not in their bodies.

I do know exactly what you mean.

Yes.

So I don't know if I answered your question or not,

But you did.

So let me ask you another question about it.

Would you say that are we born with anxiety or with the brains that are not functioning in balance or at their peak?

How does it happen?

Is it something we learn in childhood?

Is it from parenting?

What is your.

.

.

So here's what we've learned over the course of our work together is that some of this does come through our family lines.

So in my case,

My mother suffered with anxiety on and off,

Which came later in her life.

My father did as well,

And I didn't know that my father did until after he passed.

And some of his friends let me know about that.

As a matter of fact,

Before he died,

He reached out and wanted to have a conversation with me about anxiety slayer because he didn't realize it was something I was up to.

And he had this aha moment and we didn't ever get to speak about it.

But I learned afterwards that there was some suffering going on there.

And I can also get myself in bouts of.

.

.

Well,

I don't want to say get myself,

But find myself with bouts of generalized anxiety or social anxiety.

But because I have all of these tools and resources,

I tend to bounce back pretty quickly and I know what I need to do when I'm feeling sort of frazzled.

So we could be born with it.

We could,

Through post-traumatic stress,

Come anxious.

There's so many different.

.

.

And when you look at what's going on in the world,

We've got all of this negativity flying at us through the media.

We've got all of this manipulative messaging coming at us through advertising.

We have watched the news enough and you'll be in tears.

Add that to the caffeination of the nation.

That causes anxiety as well.

So there's all kinds of things contributing to it.

And one of the things that we like to do is start peeling away what we know contributes to it so that you can get to that core of understanding that,

Oh,

My goodness,

I feel so much better when I don't take in the news every single day or I feel so much better when I'm not having three cups of coffee in the morning and a Coke in the afternoon and then an afternoon coffee and all of this caffeine.

Caffeine stays in your body for hours and hours.

Yes.

And creates that jittery feeling.

It does.

That undercurrent,

That electricity.

Yes.

Yes.

I have a question for you because this is what I find with my clients at least is that we as humans,

So many of us are not connected to what,

Again,

We're feeling.

We don't know that watching the news is creating that jittery feeling inside,

That angst,

That yucky feeling inside.

I listen to people and they go,

Oh,

I watched the news last night,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And then the next day,

Maybe they have anxiety.

But I started asking them,

Well,

Do you think it might have anything to do with how much news you're watching and the politics and it stresses you out?

And I didn't even think about it.

And then when I say to them,

I'm just going to invite you to maybe go on a news fast.

Yes.

Right.

Take a sabbatical.

Like a week from the television and the evening news.

And then they'll come in the next week and say,

Oh,

My gosh,

You wouldn't believe it.

I feel so much better.

But I'm realizing,

Like when I watched the news,

Like I had the weather on today and I thought,

Okay,

Because there was snow in the forecast,

I just want to watch the weather.

That's it.

But then there was some of the national news that came on and it was politics.

And I found my whole body going into a contraction and I just turned it off.

I was done.

But it seems like so many of us don't do that.

And so like while I'm cooking,

I used to have a TV in my old house in my kitchen.

I'd be cooking and something would come on.

And it's like sort of like in the background,

But I realized it lands.

It was landing on me,

But I was so into cooking,

I wasn't paying attention,

But it's still affecting us.

Right.

Without question.

And if it's not causing anxiety,

It could be causing anger.

Yes.

Sadness.

Yes.

Sadness.

It's really tough for me now to watch anything sad about children or animals or these wildfires or mudslides or volcanoes or oh,

My gosh.

You know,

It just goes on and on.

And so what we're doing is we're inviting ourselves to feel low without even knowing it.

We're inviting ourselves.

We're taking on so much.

And so I love your idea of taking a media break.

I used to work in the media.

It took me years to get back to really taking in the news at all.

I needed like I really needed a break.

I needed a break.

But yeah,

It's amazing what happens when I can't tell you the number of people who have reached out to us and said,

Oh,

My gosh,

Had I known how much caffeine was causing,

You know,

How much havoc it was causing,

I would have stopped so long ago.

Or had I known that just cutting back to one cup of coffee and that's it or replacing the caffeine with something else and it just totally leveled them out or realizing that they're breathing really shallow and teaching them how to breathe from their belly instead and how to ground,

How to be present,

How to be present instead of go,

Go,

Go,

Go,

Go.

No wonder you're stressed.

No wonder you're anxious if you're just going all the time.

Yeah,

It's getting back in the body.

And I just realized and they talk about the kids of today,

You know,

They're not outside.

They're not grounding like probably you and I were when we were little kids.

Right.

They're inundated because the number of kids with anxiety is mind blowing to me.

They're on their phones and adults are too.

I mean,

This is us too.

But we're overstimulated and not giving our bodies the chance to ground and get centered again.

And we go from one thing to the next and the next to the caffeine,

To the event,

To the whatever.

And it's like,

Gosh,

There's no presence.

It sounds like with people anymore.

It's just we don't slow down.

Right.

And at the same time,

When you're not getting the fresh air and when you're not moving your body,

Then you have more of potential for disease,

For obesity,

For all of these things that come along with not getting out.

And one of the first recommendations that we make for people who are suffering with anxiety is they get out for a walk,

That they get out in nature,

That they go out and look at the trees and look at the water and pay attention to what's happening in nature and its perfection.

Something so very simple,

Yet so,

So,

So many people don't take the time to do it.

Even five minutes to get out in your neighborhood and walk makes a difference.

Yes.

It doesn't take long.

Just get outside and get the fresh air.

Right.

You know,

Some people would say to me things like,

I'm just going to be this way forever.

You've done 500 podcasts.

So tell us,

Please.

You have a lot of experience with this.

Is that true?

No.

We can change anxiety.

Can we not?

We can absolutely change it.

Yes.

I can tell you,

My partner Ananga suffered with anxiety for a long,

Long time before we met as a young person and it's behind her now.

Does she have days where she can kind of see it knocking on the door?

Absolutely.

But nothing even close to what she once experienced.

And when we met,

I didn't even realize that I had,

I was one of those type A,

I'm not stressed.

Right.

What do you mean?

That's just the way I roll,

You know?

Right.

Love it.

And then I was learning,

You know,

Learned so much from her and from like,

Oh my gosh,

This is why this happens.

Or this is why I sometimes struggle in social gatherings and things.

Because if you met me,

And maybe even if you're listening to me now,

You would think she's an extrovert.

This bubbly,

High energy woman.

And when actually I can play an extrovert on TV,

But I'm pretty introverted.

And so I have to get my energy back in my being alone versus getting energized from other people.

So I love people,

But I can only do so much socially before I have to retreat and reenergize.

And this is a piece for a lot of people who maybe don't understand that's what they need.

They might be more introverted than they know,

But because we're raised and schooled to be extroverted,

All of us are.

We are.

We're going to do our best,

Be on top and be out in front and go,

Go,

Go and strive and do and be and socialize and so on and so forth.

Well,

There's a whole group of us that that's not our natural way.

And so when we realize,

Oh,

I can do this.

I just need to make sure I have some spaciousness around it so that I can recharge.

So true.

Yeah.

And so that's the same thing with anxiety.

When you realize,

OK,

If you're suffering with anxiety and you deduce that,

Oh,

My gosh,

I really am having a lot of caffeine,

I wonder what it might look like if I cut back on that.

Is there a change?

Oh,

My gosh,

I really am go,

Go,

Going.

What if I took a yoga class or a painting class or what if I made sure that I made some time to get outside and get some fresh air and and the real simple stuff that you start with first?

Yes.

If you're struggling with health anxiety,

Then don't be Googling symptoms.

Exactly.

And mute the television when they come on and want to talk about the next scary thing that's happening in the world,

Because all that's going to do is feed into you and then your mind,

If your mind is a little bit off balance,

Right,

That fragile mind that we all have is going to take off and run with that.

And it's not the truth.

It's a story.

It's not your higher self.

It's your mind.

It's your ego telling you and getting you afraid.

And we live in fear.

And when we live in fear,

We're that much more anxious.

Exactly.

You know,

And it's funny that you were just not funny.

It's ironic that you're just saying that I was just thinking about a couple of friends and even a couple of clients that shame their kids when they come home from school because they go upstairs and they want to be alone in the room.

And they say,

Why don't you want to be with the family?

Come down and talk to me.

I haven't seen you all day.

What's wrong with you?

Why are you upstairs by yourself?

I've gone to a friend of mine and she says to me,

He's upstairs all the time.

He comes home and he just sits in his room.

He wants to watch movies and he does his homework.

He doesn't want to participate with the family until dinner.

And I'm like,

Did you ever think you might be an introvert?

No?

Stop shaming him.

Right.

He knows what he needs.

Yeah.

And just like you were saying,

I realized we don't know what we need as humans.

So we have to try and maybe spend some time alone.

Maybe it's the grounding.

Maybe it's the walk.

Maybe it's the fresh air.

Give up the caffeine.

Right.

But we keep pushing through as humans.

I find we just push through.

No,

No,

Let me have a glass of wine and numb out.

No,

Don't have the glass.

Maybe you're having emotions that are bubbling up inside of you.

You don't know.

What if you journaled?

Right.

What if you got to know yourself better?

Yes.

What would that look like?

And you know,

You bring up a glass of wine,

Alcohol is something else that can really wreak havoc on you if you're already prone to anxiety,

Because once your body starts to detox the alcohol,

It can create all kinds of sensations.

For some people,

They can drink alcohol and go right to sleep and it doesn't affect them at all.

They wake up the next day and they're fine.

And I'm not talking about people who are abusing alcohol or drinking so much that they're drunk.

But if you are a heavy drinker,

You are going to be prone to more anxiety as your body detoxes the alcohol.

And that's why so many people feel low,

Not necessarily hung over,

But more insecure,

More low,

More out of sorts,

Because they are,

Because they're dehydrated,

Because their body's trying to get rid of this,

Air quotes,

Poison.

And it's not pretty.

And when you don't understand that that's what's going on,

It's even that much scarier.

So that's just something else to consider and to be mindful of.

If you're going to be drinking alcohol,

Make sure you're also having a glass of water in between your drinks and make sure that you're hydrating again before you go to bed and try to be done earlier in the evening than super,

Super late so that you don't cause a interruption in your sleep.

Because sleep is another part of this.

If we're not getting to sleep,

That causes stress.

And then when we're trying to push through,

I'm so tired,

I'm going to have a red bull.

Or what,

You know,

No,

No,

No,

Don't do it.

It's a vicious cycle.

So true.

So what is a panic attack?

Tell us what a panic attack is.

Well,

I think for each individual person,

It might look a little bit different,

But I'll walk you through something that my daughter,

Unfortunately,

Experiences.

What will happen for her is she will be in a classroom,

Let's say,

And all of a sudden,

She'll get fixated on something like sounds.

And when she was in high school,

It would be pencils tapping,

Fidgety kids,

People talking,

Clock ticking,

And she's supposed to be getting work done.

And all of a sudden,

She's not feeling grounded anymore.

She's fixating.

All of a sudden,

The lights are feeling a certain way.

She's starting to be a little bit short of breath.

She's feeling like she has to get out.

And luckily for people who are experienced,

You know,

I'll say luckily in her case,

And in a lot of cases now,

Because people are starting to have a better understanding,

She could go up to her teacher and say,

I'm suffering.

I feel like I might be having a panic attack.

I need to leave.

I need to go to the office or I need to get some fresh air or what have you.

And she would change her environment and be able to recover much quicker than if she had to just sit there and deal with it.

Some people just start to get just really hot or feel like a hot flash or sweaty or uncomfortable.

Things start to feel a little bit,

I won't say spinning,

But for some,

I've definitely heard it described that way as well,

Where they're just so out of sorts and so out of their body.

And that's why one of the things that we recommend when that's happening is to stop and look around and notice,

You know,

Something that you can hear,

Something that you can see that your feet are on the floor,

Just getting your mind away from the fixation of,

Oh my God,

I'm having a panic attack.

Right now I'm sitting here with you.

I'm in my chair.

My feet are on the floor.

I'm looking outside the window.

It's a beautiful morning.

We're having a great conversation all as well.

Getting mindful of what's really happening in your environment so you don't let your mind take off and take you so far away that you're feeling so afraid and so out of it.

And that's the thing.

When you're in a panic attack,

Whoa,

If you don't know how to care for yourself,

It's horrifying.

It's not a good place to be.

Right.

And well,

Here's the question though.

So do they come out of left field when people say they just,

I don't even know what was happening and all of a sudden,

Boom,

There it is.

Yes,

Absolutely.

They can.

So it is something that can happen randomly.

But what I hear you saying is your daughter was,

Some part of her brain was kind of focusing in on,

Again,

The kid tapping the pencil,

The kid tapping his foot,

You know,

The lights,

The clock ticking.

But other people are driving down the road and they're singing a song and all of a sudden it hits them out of left field.

What's happening there?

Is that just something that's happening in the brain or how does that happen?

Yeah,

You know,

It's a really good question.

And I don't know that I have a great answer for that other than,

You know,

I've had the experience where I'm on the road and I might start feeling a little bit dizzy.

And the dizziness will lead to,

Oh,

My gosh,

I shouldn't be driving a car if I'm feeling dizzy.

And then what could happen if I'm feeling dizzy while I'm driving the car and then the car could crash and then,

You know,

And then you and you create this story,

Right?

Yes.

And so it is certainly brain chemistry,

But it's also could be post-traumatic.

It could be based on lack of sleep.

It could be based on caffeination.

It could be based.

I mean,

There's so many things that it could be.

So what we need to do is figure out how we can care for ourselves when we're in that situation.

For instance,

Driving down the road,

If that's happening,

You need to pull over and perhaps practice the long exhale,

Which is breathing in for a count of four,

Holding the breath for a count of two,

And then releasing the breath in a long exhale over a count of seven and doing that repeatedly,

Repeatedly until you calm your heart rate.

The other point that we like to share a lot is called the calm point.

And if you take your right thumb and press it in your palm of your left hand about in the center or wherever your middle finger touches the palm of your hand,

You press firmly and you breathe deeply.

And this is an acupressure point that will help calm you down.

This is something I taught my daughter as well at school because you can do it anywhere.

If you're out for a luncheon or ready to give a speech or in a classroom or whatever,

You can do this and nobody knows that you're getting yourself calm.

I love that.

That's a great tool for people to have the thumb in the middle of their palm.

Is that what you mean?

Yes.

I love that.

Press and breathe and breathe and breathe,

Press and breathe.

The other thing is a little bit tougher to do in public,

But certainly you could excuse yourself and go into the bathroom would be tapping,

EFT tapping,

And really tapping through your sensations,

Tapping through how you feel.

One of the reasons why I like tapping so much is it forces you to get in touch with what's going on and to name it versus to try and push through it and get beyond it and,

Oh my gosh,

Why am I feeling this way?

No.

Now you can go back and you say,

All right,

Even though I feel like my skin is crawling,

I love and accept myself completely,

Even though I feel like I'm going to die from the flu because everybody else is,

Or whatever these things are that are coming up,

And then tapping through those Meridian points.

That's helpful as well.

Breathing for sure,

Calm point for sure,

Tapping.

There's just so many things that you can do.

When I drive now,

I have a little disc that it's just this pretty decorative disc and behind it is a piece of felt I can put essential oil on and then it just slides right into the vent where the heat comes out or the air comes out.

I put a couple of drops of lavender before I go for a car ride and it smells good,

Helps you stay calm.

If you use essential oils,

There's a number of different essential oils that you can use for that.

The list of things that you can do for yourself is quite long and I invite everyone to play with and practice and really look at it as a science experiment.

What works for me?

I'm going to try this and try that.

It would seem to me that when we practice things like all of the things that you and I had just talked about,

The caffeine,

Like you said,

The breath,

The EFT,

The point on the hand,

When we practice this,

When we're not in the middle of a panic attack or when we're just doing it to decrease,

Let's say,

Our anxiety,

That the panic attacks then will lessen.

Yes.

Great.

I've only had a couple of panic attacks.

Only.

The first one I had,

I didn't even know what,

I really thought I was having a heart attack and I said,

I think you need to call 911.

This is about seven or eight years ago.

I live now in Nashville,

Tennessee,

But the housing market was so insane.

People were throwing offers in on houses,

Like seven to 10 offers,

Well over asking price.

It was almost impossible to get a house.

It was crazy.

I was involved and they were trying to buy a house and every house that we were putting an offer on,

We kept losing the house.

I put this offer in on this house and it was a very stressful time.

We were renting a house,

We're trying to buy a house.

Again,

It didn't happen immediately after I put the offer in,

But within a few hours,

My brain was going,

Oh my God,

We're not going to get the house.

What if we don't get the house?

Where are we going to go?

My brain was doing one of those things.

Then I went and I was making dinner and then I started doing the spinning thing,

Like you're saying.

I went and I said,

I'm kind of dizzy.

I'm just going to go lay down for a minute.

I lay down in my bed.

I was so wet with sweat.

It looked like I'd gotten in the shower with my clothes on.

Then my heart was racing.

I called my son and I said,

I think you're going to have to call 911.

I called my brother-in-law who's a doctor and he's like,

I think this is anxiety.

I'm like,

What?

Again,

I was making dinner.

I was stressed about the house,

But then I said,

Let me just make dinner.

Then what?

Then we talked,

My brother and then obviously it passed.

My brother-in-law talked to him and he goes,

I think that was a panic attack.

I said,

What?

I don't get panic attacks.

Since then,

I could feel them coming on with the racing of the heartbeat,

Like maybe two other times in the last few years.

I know to get,

I immediately get present.

I track my breath and they're gone.

What I realize is the more present that this is my own experience,

So I'm guessing it's everybody's experience or getting present,

Lowering the caffeine.

All of these things are helpful for everybody.

Oh yeah.

Okay,

Great.

Think a bit about having an electrical outlet with too many things plugged in.

Yes.

That's how we are,

True.

Yeah.

You want to just start unplugging things.

Yes.

Until you just maybe have two plugs in.

Yes,

I love that.

Because we just,

As you and I both said within the last 15 minutes,

You don't even know.

It's just so,

What?

I'm having a panic,

Where did that come from?

It's like,

Well,

You put so much stress,

So much pressure on yourself.

We need to depressurize.

We need to understand that we are so much more than this big fat to-do list and all of these things that must be done and all of these shoulds and all of these.

No,

No,

We have to get back to really giving thanks for our bodies and for our health and for our lives and the understanding that,

Wait a minute,

This might be too much.

Right.

It might be too much for me to have all of this going on.

What can I release?

What can I unplug?

You know,

Shann,

It seems to me that everything that you've given us is beautiful.

I think it's fat.

They're great,

Great,

Great tools.

But again,

I'm guessing this in my opinion.

It seems like the most important thing that we have to incorporate into our daily living is mindfulness.

We have to track what am I feeling?

What am I sensing in my body?

Am I drinking too much caffeine?

Am I outside enough?

Am I,

Am I,

Am I?

And it's like we have to become mindful of what we are doing.

What am I thinking?

Right.

Do I need EFT right now?

Do I need to go and meditate?

You know,

All of these things.

I mean,

Would you agree with that?

Mindfulness is just.

.

.

Oh,

Yeah.

Okay.

Because without awareness,

We can't make any changes.

Exactly.

So,

You know,

It's one of the.

.

.

In my former business,

My tagline was awareness,

Action,

Transformation.

Wow.

And that really applies to what we're talking about here now too,

Doesn't it?

Once we become aware of what's going on,

Then we can research what we need to do to take action to make a difference.

And then once we've done that,

We can transform our lives.

And so this all applies to anxiety,

To anything.

We can't really do a damn thing if we don't have an awareness of it.

Right.

Okay.

Hey,

I've got a couple of questions.

Sure.

People from the closed group have written in.

If you wouldn't mind answering these.

I'd love to.

I'm just going to go ahead and read them.

All right.

This girl says,

I try to tell myself that 99% of what we worry about doesn't come to pass,

But still my mind goes there.

Realized fear and anxiety is a response to my unsafe childhood.

I'll be eagerly interested to hear your response to this podcast.

So what do we do when we just have chronic worry?

Oh,

Well,

First of all,

Thank you for the question.

And the point that went right to my heart was an unsafe childhood.

And so loving up your inner child first and foremost is really,

Really important.

And learning,

You know,

Michelle can teach you how to do that.

And I'm sure if you've been listening in,

You know that she's an expert here with this inner child healing and work is to make that one know that one in you know that she is safe now,

That you will do everything you possibly can to keep her that way and that you are safe.

There's a Bach flower remedy that I would recommend.

You may have heard of rescue remedy made by Bach flower remedies,

But they also make a,

They have a lot of different remedies,

But there's one that's called white chestnut and white chestnut is for these recurring loops that we get in our head.

This recurring worry is something that I turned my mom on to a while ago as she as she ages,

She gets a little bit more worried about things.

And it's a beautiful,

It's just a,

You know,

Four drops of this white chestnut and you can do it before bed.

It doesn't have to be before bed,

Or you can get some rescue remedy by Bach flower remedies.

And it really is another helpful homeopathic way to calm those thoughts.

The other piece is while knowing that 99% of this stuff doesn't come to pass and what you know logically,

That's beautiful,

But we need to bring it down into the heart and how we feel.

And so if you can work out what it is you need to do to feel safe,

What it is you need to do to understand that this is happening,

Oh,

This is happening,

Here it goes again.

What do I know I can do?

I know I can take the Bach flower remedies.

I know I can journal about this.

I know that I can get up and change my environment,

Get outside or get to a window if you can't get outside,

Change things up.

You have to distract yourself.

You know,

Both Ananga and I love to color in mandalas and focus on that,

Listen to some uplifting music.

Certainly essential oils are helpful.

There's just all this.

You have this big toolkit.

All of these things can help.

Getting that place of visualization of what it would look like for that young one and you to feel safe,

I think is where you start.

Yes,

I love that.

But how can you feel safe?

Okay,

I've got another one for you.

How to handle anxiety when it's a full body sensation,

Nothing that has caused it,

No thinking,

No worrying,

Just something that sets off in my body without notice.

It's debilitating.

Oh,

I know how that feels.

It is debilitating.

Yeah.

So the very first thing that comes to mind there is get yourself in a hot shower or in a hot bath.

And whether you do so with some Epsom salts or a body scrub or Ananga and I often recommend doing an oil massage before taking a nice hot shower or hot bath where you just really get in your body in a way,

In a sweet way.

And if you can't do that,

Get yourself to a massage,

Get a hot stone massage,

Get some yatsu,

Do something sweet for your body and get used to it.

I will tell you that adding a hot bath before bed for people who suffer with that full body anxiety is a huge relief.

And getting more magnesium in your diet is incredibly important.

So many of us are.

.

.

Yes,

We all are depleted with anxiety.

I mean,

With the magnesium,

Yes.

Right.

And the thing is,

So if you have a drink like natural calm,

For instance,

Which is a magnesium drink and you tend to be kind of high strong,

You tend to have whole body anxiety or really any kind,

It's going to just take the edge off.

And it's incredible.

Magnesium is a part of my daily routine.

And usually before bed,

I will have some magnesium just because I know that I need it and that we all need it.

So I think magnesium helps,

Magnesium bath helps,

A hot shower helps,

Massage helps,

Anything that you can do to move the energy through your body.

That's wonderful.

Thank you.

And I love that natural calm,

Magnesium.

I drink it every night before I go to bed.

Yeah,

It's great stuff.

It really is.

It is.

It's so good.

Okay.

One more question,

If that's okay.

Yeah,

Of course.

Okay.

Sometimes I find it difficult to discern if the anxiety I'm feeling is the kind that is trying to tell me to look closer,

Notice,

Pay attention,

Because there is something on the horizon or if it is telling me to notice that you are safe,

That your needs are being met and that all is well,

Or could these be one in the same?

That's a great question.

Isn't that a good one?

Yeah.

I think that one of the things that helps you discern if this is real or something created by your mind is to notice it and say,

If this is still going on in a couple of days,

I'm going to do something about it.

Meaning I'm going to take the next step.

I'm going to talk to a therapist or I'm going to get to the doctor or I'm going to do whatever.

Just having that mental note of,

Okay,

There it is and I'm noticing this,

But now I'm going to put this aside and see how I do,

Especially with health anxiety,

Because people who suffer with health anxiety will often have different symptoms kind of ping pong around their body or like a pinball moves around their body in different places.

So follow your intuition,

Follow your gut.

But if you find that you're starting to really spin again,

All of the other things that we've brought up today are where you want to practice,

But also noticing it and setting it aside and then coming back to it.

Chances are it's not going to be there in two or three days.

Right.

Put it on the shelf.

Notice it,

Put it on the shelf.

Don't blow it off.

You're coming back around to it,

But you're not going to let it grab you by the tail and suck the joy out of your day.

Yep.

That's beautiful.

Wow.

This was so great,

Shan.

Thank you.

Thank you for answering all of their questions from the closed group here.

Oh,

My pleasure.

Yeah.

But you know,

We have to do a part two because I have more questions,

But I think that it would be better to save them for our part two podcast.

Yeah,

That sounds great.

I would love to come back again and have another conversation with you for sure.

Yeah.

So is there anything else you want to add before we end?

I think that what I'd like to add is that please be gentle with yourself.

If you're feeling stressed,

If you're feeling anxious,

Just try some of these things that we brought up today.

Try breathing deeply and slowly.

Get yourself some lavender and sniff it and notice how calming that lavender is.

Get some more fresh air.

Do these sweet things.

Journal about it.

Talk to a trusted friend.

There's so many things that you can do to support yourself.

You're not alone in this.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Be gentle with yourself.

Get back in your body and be gentle with yourself.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

That was a beautiful ending.

Well,

Thank you so much for being on with us today on the Adult Share Podcast,

And we will do something else maybe in the spring together.

Thank you again,

Shan.

And to all of you that are interested,

We have,

If you're a listener of the Adult Share,

Audible is offering a free audiobook download of your choice with a free 30-day trial to give you the opportunity to check out the service.

All you have to do is go to www.

Audibletrial.

Com forward slash the adult share.

And Shan,

You have recommended From Anxiety to Love by Corinne Zupko.

Can you tell us just a little bit about that book?

Oh,

It's just fantastic.

It follows A Course in Miracles only for anxiety.

And Corinne is just,

She's just so kind and she'd been through so much as a young woman and has overcome so many situations.

She was in a position of near crippling discomfort and has gone beyond this.

She's insightful.

It's really a book for anybody who wants a way out of the pain and suffering of anxiety.

So I highly recommend it.

We had the pleasure of interviewing Corinne when her book came out and she's just a fantastic human and a really great book.

Wow.

Okay,

Great.

Well,

Thank you.

So if you'd like to check out this book for free,

You just go to www.

Audibletrial.

Com forward slash the adult share.

Okay,

Shan,

Thank you so much again for being on the show.

And if you would not mind,

Please share with us right now.

How can people find you?

Where would we find you?

Oh,

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Let us know what you're offering.

Sure.

Sure.

The easiest way to find us is to visit anxietyslayer.

Com and that's a portal to our blog and podcasts and free gifts and all kinds of great information to support you.

And we have a brand new course called the anxiety slayer starter course that you can get that includes conversations,

Meditations,

Tapping sessions.

It's really a great free course.

And you can get that again at anxietyslayer.

Com or at anxietyslayer.

Teachable.

Com.

Both places will get you to the free course.

And we'd love for you to check it out.

Awesome.

Thank you again,

Shan.

We so appreciate you being on today.

Oh,

It's my pleasure.

Thanks for the invitation.

Well,

This was awesome.

I cannot thank Shan enough for being here.

This was such a wonderful,

Wonderful show and we can never have enough information on anxiety.

There's so much of this in our world today.

So I'm so appreciative for all of Shan's work with the anxiety slayer.

Thank you,

Shan.

And thank you everybody.

Thanks for being with us today.

And I will see you seated firmly right here next week in the adult chair.

Have a great week,

Everybody.