Wherever you are right now,
Take a second to land.
If it feels safe,
Let your eyes soften or close.
Unclench your jaw.
Let your shoulders drop.
Feel the weight of your body being held.
Inhale through the nose for four.
Hold for two.
Slow exhale for six or eight.
Let the breath move how it wants.
We're working with the second hindrance.
Ill will.
Anger by itself is human.
Ill will is the extra layer that says,
I hope you suffer.
I hope you lose.
That layer is what starts to poison the heart.
I'm not here to judge you for it.
I know this one too.
We're here to understand it,
So it doesn't quietly run your whole life.
Psychologist Paul Gilbert,
In The Compassionate Mind,
Talks about two systems in us.
Old mind.
New mind.
Old mind is primal.
Five life frees.
It doesn't care about enlightenment.
It cares about not dying.
New mind can step back,
Reflect,
Choose.
It can say,
Yeah,
I'm angry,
And I don't want to live like this.
Ill will belongs to old mind.
It's armor.
Old mind saying,
You hurt me.
I won't let that happen again.
Seeing it as armor matters.
You're not evil.
You're a nervous system trying to stay safe.
The problem is when the armor never comes off.
In daily life,
It can look like replaying arguments and always winning,
Hoping someone gets what's coming,
Or seeing them do well and thinking they don't deserve that.
Sometimes we turn it inward.
I'm trash.
I don't deserve peace.
I always screw it up.
Anger says,
What happened was wrong.
Ill will says,
You are wrong.
I want you to suffer.
That's anger's tool.
Let's practice catching it.
If it's safe,
Keep your eyes soft or closed.
Bring to mind a recent moment of anger.
Not your biggest wound,
Just something you can hold right now.
Let the scene rise for a moment.
Enough to feel a little heat.
Now leave the story alone and notice your body.
Heat in the chest or face.
Jaw tight.
Shoulders lifted.
Not in the stomach or throat.
This is old mind turning on.
This is the armor.
No judgment.
Just see it.
If thoughts start firing,
I can't believe they did that.
People always treat me like this.
Quietly name them.
Old mind.
Old armor.
Anger's tool.
Now bring new mind in.
Feel your feet.
Feel the weight of your body.
Take a slow breath in and a longer breath out.
Ask gently,
Is this anger protecting me right now or just keeping me stuck?
If it feels okay,
Place a hand on your chest or belly.
Let that hand say,
I see that you're hurt.
I'm not going to abandon you,
But I don't want to burn you on top of this.
One more slow breath.
When you're ready,
Let the scene fade.
If your eyes were closed,
Slowly open them.
Here's the core truth.
We don't need to kill our anger.
Anger is the voice that says,
That was wrong.
I deserve better.
People I love deserve better.
The trouble is,
When anger hands the mic to ill will,
Then it becomes revenge fantasies,
Self-hate,
And the same story on repeat for years.
So when you feel that fire,
See if you can shift from,
I want them to hurt,
To,
I don't want this pain running my life.
Same fire,
New direction,
Clarity,
Boundaries,
Compassion with a backbone.
As we close,
Remember,
Ill will is old armor.
It came from somewhere.
It tried to keep you alive.
You don't have to hate it.
You also don't have to live inside it.
Next time anger hits,
And harsh thoughts rush in,
See if you can catch one small moment.
Oh,
That's old mine.
That's anger's tool.
I don't have to let it run the whole show.
Even that tiny bit of space is the path moving through you.
Stillness is rebellion.
Compassion is a weapon.
Peace is within.
Carry all.
