Learn Ontological Coaching For Overcoming Fear

We will be meditating on letting go of fear.

So I invite you to find a comfortable position either sitting or lying down.

Closing your eyes if that is okay.

Take a deep breath in and slowly let the breath out.

Allow your body to settle into the surface beneath.

Bringing in a sense of feeling supported.

Noticing any areas of tension that might be holding and gently bring your attention to the breath.

How is your breath?

Noticing the breath as if it is for the first time.

Noticing the fullness of the in-breath and the warmth of the out-breath.

Maintaining a long and deep in-breath and out-breath for your practice.

Just being fully aware of this breath.

This breath right here.

So take a moment here to notice the rhythm of your breath.

Feel it fill your lungs.

In with each breath allow yourself to become more settled,

More grounded,

More centered.

Noticing if there are any thoughts about the past or the future and if there are just simply return to the here and now to this breath.

And now I invite you to gently bring to mind something that is holding you back,

Something that you may be slightly fearful about.

We don't need to confront it head-on.

Something which is simple for you right now.

Just allow it to come into your present awareness.

Maybe it's a fear of failure,

Fear of rejection or something.

Maybe there is a fear of material things.

Just bring that fear which is present for you.

We all have fears and doubts and uncertainty in our lives.

So bring in a fear which you can work with today.

And notice that as soon as you bring it into your awareness,

In this grounded awareness,

What changes in your body?

What changes do we notice?

The subtleties bring it into awareness.

What are those?

Maybe we start to move around.

Maybe we start to wiggle our toes.

Maybe we start to notice the tightness forming.

Maybe the feeling is in our chest or belly.

Where are you holding this feeling?

This feeling of fear.

Is it in your stomach area?

Maybe there is a tightening or pulling back of your stomach.

Just notice it with your hands placed on your stomach.

And if you notice the tightness in your chest,

Just bring your hands to the chest.

And just a gentle massage and release the tension,

If possible.

If you start to feel it in the tummy area,

Just let the belly breathe and notice the inhalation and exhalation.

Simply observe without judgment.

Acknowledge that fear is a natural part of the human response that has evolved over time to protect you.

So just bring sensations into the body.

Where you might feel this fear?

Fear is a reaction to something,

Maybe something external or future event.

And fear often resides when there are thoughts about judgment or feelings of unworthiness or shame or guilt.

So I invite you to be curious.

Imagine you're stepping back,

Stepping back from this and observing your fear.

And observing it as if for the first time,

As if you're a baby.

And this is the first feeling of fear you are having.

And notice any thoughts associated with this impression.

What may be your mind doing at this moment?

It may be telling you something.

Observing them with a sense of curiosity,

Not as truth,

But just as thoughts.

And notice the way your body is reacting to this feeling of fear.

And notice the way your body is reacting to this feeling of guilt.

But just as thoughts.

So now we have identified where the fear is in your body right now.

And we have started to orient with fear in curiosity.

And we start to work with this fear.

As an observer.

And now I invite you to gently ask yourself.

Is this fear serving me?

Is it helping me?

Is it holding me back?

Recognize what that might bring.

Recognize that while fear might be here.

And it might be trying to protect you.

Might be here as a survival element.

Or maybe it is something we have conditioned ourselves.

Maybe it is something we repeatedly did to feel comfort.

And it often exaggerates the danger.

Simply the question,

Is this fear serving me?

Invite you to bring a counter question.

What if I could face this fear with courage,

Compassion,

And kindness?

What if I do have this fear?

So I invite you to notice where the fear is residing in your body.

I invite you to bring your imagination in this fear.

I invite you to bring your imagination in this practice.

So whenever you notice the fear in your body.

I want you to go to that place.

So if you are feeling that fear in the throat area and neck area,

The tension is in the chest,

Just notice where that fear is.

And just gently bring this curious,

Kind attention to it.

Imagine that you are holding this area with kindness,

Compassion,

And let it release.

Imagine that this fear is like a ball or a bundle of energy,

Which is just sitting around in your body somewhere.

And you notice it,

And you notice it,

And you bring your kind,

Curious awareness to it.

We notice this ball of energy,

Right?

Maybe in the stomach,

Maybe in the chest,

Maybe in the throat.

So this energy,

This ball is your fear,

And you notice it.

You notice its heaviness.

You notice its texture.

You notice it pressing against you,

Pushing you further.

Now I invite you to simply imagine that you are able to reach out with your arms and feel this ball of fear.

And we take it out and slowly release it,

Pulling it from your body into your hands.

So we are releasing this fear from your body into your hands.

And however you want to choose to imagine this,

You may be pulling this fear from your neck,

Or your face,

Or your back,

Or wherever this fear manifests for you.

However,

Wherever you find this fear to be,

Just pull it out slowly,

And imagine the weight now in your hands.

The fear is in your hands.

The ball of fear is in your hands.

Now as soon as it is outside of yourself,

Imagine it starting to melt.

It starts to melt slowly away in your hands,

And it melts and then starts to evaporate in your hands.

It's getting smaller.

The ball of fear is becoming smaller and smaller.

And is melting and evaporating at the same time.

Now in your mind's eye,

Slowly begin to release it.

Slowly noticing it diminishing in size,

Losing weight,

Losing traction,

And simply melting away.

And as it leaves,

You feel lighter.

You feel more at ease.

You feel more in control.

And now bringing your attention to mind.

Bring your awareness back to the body,

Feeling lighter,

Feeling relaxed,

Calm,

And confident.

Feeling this calmness within you.

And I invite you to place your thumb and forefinger together as an anchor.

This feeling of calmness within you,

In your body,

And knowing that this represents your calm and composed and compassionate self.

If you keep practicing,

Associating,

Pressing this forefinger and your thumb,

We invoke peace and equanimity and calmness to any situation,

To this moment.

So this feeling be here for you.

Feel this calmness and associate with your finger and your thumb touching.

And this gesture can be yours.

So you can decide what gesture you want to make it your own.

So this enables you to always come back to calmness whenever you need it in any situation.

And knowing that this doesn't mean that the external situation or the situation changes,

But your relationship to yourself changes as you practice anchoring anchoring your calm nature to a gesture in your body.

The same way the fear held a place in your body,

You can create a place for your calm,

Joyful,

Kind,

Confident self in your body.

And this requires practice.

How you are cleansing the body and mind and changing your association with fear and bringing calm and clarity and confidence within yourself.

And silently or loudly repeat yourself.

I am safe.

I am strong.

I have the power to face my fears and let them go.

I can invite you to adapt these words to your situation.

I am safe.

I am strong.

I have the power to face my fears and let them go.

I feel the truth of these words resonate.

Allow this affirmation to go deep in you.

And strengthening your resolve and calming your mind.

We invite you throughout your day.

And now when you're ready,

Just bring this practice to mind.

And slowly come back to your body.

Slowly come back to opening your eyes.

Take a moment to stretch.

Feeling grounded and renewed as you move forward.

As you move forward,

Remember that this fear is nothing to be fearful about.

You have the power to observe it,

Locate it,

Challenge it,

Transform it and replace it with beauty and compassion.

You have the power to observe it,

Locate it,

Challenge it,

Transform it and replace it with beauty and compassion.

So I invite you to take some time for yourself before you reorient yourself to this practice.

And for the rest of the day,

Just take your time.

Just find whatever needs your attention right now.

And simply being that.

And thank you for meditating with me on fear.

I appreciate it.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Hope this brought some clarity.

Hope you found a way in which you can access your fear and change it,

Change your relationship with fear.

And that's what we are here to do,

Is to change relationship.

Not to change fear itself or not to stop fear.

It is to change the relationship.

As we expressed,

Fear is a useful tool.

It helps us stay on track.

It is constantly aggravating in your daily situations.

This is where it is stopping you from achieving the things you want for yourself.

So when we address this lack of connection with ourselves,

We become less fearful.

And just appreciate this practice and take this moment to practice your gesture that invokes a sense of calmness that you can take in throughout the day.

So thank you for learning about fear with me.

And I appreciate it.

So let us continue our discussion on different coaching models.

So we've been having a chat about neuro-linguistic programming.

And today we'll look at certain coaching model known as the ontological coaching.

And in this coaching model,

We have many,

Many things.

And this approach is used in a lot of circles.

And this approach has a personal and a professional development aspect to it that has transformed a lot of people.

So I believe this is a powerful practice.

And some of the elements of this coaching was included in that meditation.

And we'll discuss this in a minute.

But now you might be wondering what this ontological coaching means.

What does ontology mean?

So ontology might sound intimidating at first,

But it simply refers to the study of being.

A study of how we exist in the world and how we create our reality.

So then this ontological coaching is about understanding how our way of being,

Our thoughts and emotions and actions,

Shape our experiences and influence ourselves.

So a lot of analogies have been made.

An iceberg analogy is something which we use in a lot of circles.

But this is also true.

At the tip of the iceberg,

The part we see above the water represents our behaviors,

The actions we take.

But beneath the surface,

A larger mass of ice represents our emotions,

Thoughts and beliefs.

So it's basically going into the subconscious.

Our ontological coaching helps us explore this deeper level,

Understanding how our inner world drives that outer behaviors.

So what are the fundamentals of this practice is there are three pillars of ontological coaching.

So the first element,

And they are all interconnected and work together to create a unique way.

So the first thing is the power of language.

The power of language is not just about communication,

It's about creation.

So the words we use,

The stories we tell,

And the conversations we engage in actively shape our perceptions,

Relationships,

And actions.

For example,

Imagine two people facing a challenging situation,

One person might say,

Oh,

This is a disaster.

I am so unlucky.

And the other person might say,

This is a tough situation,

But I am going to find a way to overcome it.

And notice the difference in this power of language,

The first person language creates a sense of helplessness,

Waiting hood,

While the second person's language creates a sense of agency,

Not in the sense of I am in control,

But I believe I can do certain things.

So there's a subtlety to it,

Not just blind faith.

But it is more nuanced than that.

So there's just a bias towards the situation being challenging and how to overcome it.

So again,

Mindfulness and ontological coaching go really close and really hand in hand.

It actually ontological coaching helps you become more mindful and mindfulness helps in ontological coaching as well.

So it encourages us to shift from a reactive language to a responsive language to a generative language.

So from complaining,

To requesting,

And from blaming,

To taking responsibility.

So that's the first aspect,

Which is the power of language.

The second aspect is the wisdom of emotions.

So emotions are often seen as something to be controlled or suppressed or the word for actuated or emotions need to be expressed.

But in ontological coaching,

Emotion is valuable sources of information.

So instead of using it as just expressions or control or suppression,

This is a time for us to actually look at what emotions mean.

So do they provide insights into our needs,

Values,

And how are we relating to the world around us?

For instance,

If you feel anxious about an upcoming presentation,

The anxiety might be a signal of needing more preparation or maybe a signal of something underlying,

Maybe a fear of public speaking or being fear of failure or fear of rejection.

So by acknowledging and exploring that anxiety,

You can take steps to address the underlying concern and move forward with confidence.

So in ontological coaching,

I think there may be similarities from a lot of different modalities,

But that is part of life.

I think there are so many things which have been packaged kind of differently,

But it helps us if we put it into one sort of framework.

And that may be helpful for certain people and certain people have a different framework,

But still it helps.

So the ability to understand and manage our emotions and emotions of others helps us to navigate challenging situations with greater resilience.

And the third aspect of ontological coaching is the intelligence of the body.

So our bodies are not just vehicles of our minds,

They are integral part of our being.

As we know,

Our posture,

Movements,

And expressions all contribute to an overall state of being.

How we interact with the world,

How our body affects our mind,

And the mind affects the body,

And how it is all interconnected and we have very little control in our conscious beingness.

So thinking about how we feel when we do certain poses versus when we actively take a stance,

Which helps provide low energy,

We can see the difference in our physical states.

And this is also used if you are in an exercise in psychology,

Famous exercise is taking a taking a pencil or a pen and then just holding it in between your mouth for the whole time.

So I will speak like this,

Just to emphasize a point.

If we learn to change our bodies,

It affects our mind.

So when the psychologist did that exercise and made people hold a pencil in their mouth for a long time,

It actually made them subjectively more happier because they were kind of forced into a smile.

That actually sent signals within the body to the brain,

To the mind saying,

This is an okay time.

So our bodies,

The way we interact,

Actually,

The way we talk to ourselves matter is what the idea is,

Which we already kind of have developed over the course of few sessions as well.

So we understand that the body can influence how we feel.

So in this coaching,

We actually incorporate some of the somatic practices such as breathwork and mindfulness and yoga and movement to help individuals become more aware of their bodies and develop a greater sense and groundedness.

So what are the applications of ontological coaching?

So there's many applications in leadership development.

It helps the leaders become more self-aware,

Communicate effectively and create a more collaborative and empowering work environment.

It helps in personal transformation,

Which we discuss a lot.

It helps in team building.

It helps in conflict resolution.

So it helps in many,

Many areas.

And the benefits is increased self-awareness,

Improved communication.

So you learn to communicate more effectively,

Not just with others,

But with yourself.

Enhanced emotional intelligence and understanding your emotions and knowing your emotions and navigating challenging situations with greater ease and cultivating an emotional resilience.

And then we have greater personal agency,

Which means you recognize that you have,

To a certain extent,

The power to shape your experiences and create the life you desire.

And also increased effectiveness.

So you become more effective in your personal situations and professional life because you become focused,

Become resilient,

And you always look in to grow,

Transform,

Change.

So that is the framework of ontological coaching.

So let's just take a summary and leave with some key takeaways.

So it's a powerful approach,

As we mentioned,

In the personal and professional development areas that emphasizes interconnectedness of language,

Emotions,

And body.

And by becoming aware of these three elements and how they shape our reality,

We can create lasting change and unlock our potential.

So this is what we did in our practice today.

We actually did a little bit of language,

We did a little bit of emotions with the fear,

And we actually reinstalled another way in which the body can influence the mind.

So this is what one of the practices in ontological coaching is.

So if anything you want to take away from this is language creates your reality.

So the words we use,

The stories we tell,

And the conversations we engage in,

Shape our perceptions and our actions.

So choose the words wisely.

Emotions are guides.

Emotions guide us and bring us valuable information about your needs,

Values,

And how we are relating to the world.

And the body's intelligence,

Our physical state influences our thoughts,

Emotions,

And interactions.

And we can learn a lot from our body.

So by understanding these,

We can now understand a little bit more about ontological coaching and how it functions.

But going deeper,

Going in a one-to-one basis or like going deeper,

How it can help you can be a bit more of a.

.

.

It can be interesting because it is one way you can deepen a practice.

But also it is,

You need to go deeper into each of these aspects to understand how it really changes you.

But you can always start somewhere.

So you can embark on a journey of self-discovery,

Transformation,

And empowerment with these coaching tools.

So thank you for being here.

Thank you for practicing with me.

Thank you for learning about ontological coaching.

Appreciate it.

Thank you.

If you have any questions,

Any thoughts about these,

And if you feel like you have any ideas or any coaching exercises you want to learn more about,

Please do let me know.

And I can try to incorporate some of it into our daily practices.

So yeah,

Thank you.

And I will see you again in the next session with another coaching tool.