You Are Not What You Feel

Hello,

My name is Noah Elkrief and today I want to share with you about how you are not what you feel.

So what do I mean by that?

You are not what you feel.

So many times when people experience the same emotion over and over again,

They unconsciously conclude that this is part of who I am.

So when people feel insecure a lot,

They conclude I am an insecure person.

Or if you feel anxiety a lot,

You conclude I am an anxious person.

If you feel weak sometimes,

Fragile sometimes,

I am a weak person,

I am a fragile person.

I am an angry person.

What if you weren't actually any of those things?

So even if you experience the same emotion and the same situation over and over again,

It still doesn't mean anything about who you are.

If you lost that emotional response,

You would still be the same person.

You would feel different in that environment,

But you would be the same person.

So maybe when you're at work giving presentations,

You feel nervous and you conclude I am a nervous person.

But that nervousness isn't a part of who you are.

It's not innate to the structure of your being.

It is just an emotional pattern that was created by something that happened in your life or in your parents' life or some other life.

It doesn't mean anything about you.

So if you get to the core of this nervousness,

If you're able to uproot it,

If you're able to let go of it,

Well then when you go into the presentations in the future,

You won't have nervousness.

It doesn't mean you lost a part of who you are.

It doesn't mean you are now different.

It means you feel different.

How you feel is not who you are.

And the problem with this is when you believe that an emotional pattern is who you are,

Then it's sort of like we get stuck with it.

So if I think I'm a nervous person,

I'm an insecure person,

Well that's just who I am.

There's nothing I can do about it.

That's part of me.

And then we don't work to let go of these painful patterns,

Painful emotional experiences,

Painful triggers,

Painful emotional responses.

You understand what I mean?

If you believe that you are a particular emotional pattern,

Then how are you supposed to let go of it?

And even if you try to let go of it,

So if you feel socially anxious when you're around friends or potential romantic interests and you conclude I'm a socially anxious person,

Then even if you're trying to get rid of that social anxiety,

Even if you're trying to lose it or let go of it,

What happens is you're too identified with it.

So when we think I am socially anxious,

There's no separation between you and the feeling,

Which means you can't see the feeling clearly.

Like you're in it.

I am socially anxious.

But the way to unhook these emotional patterns,

These traumas,

These wounds,

These beliefs is to see them clearly.

And the only way to see them clearly or one of the ways to see them clearly is to take a step out of it to see,

Oh,

I'm aware of a feeling of anxiety when I'm around people.

I'm aware of a sensation of tension or nervousness or pressure in my chest when I'm around people.

And once we notice I am looking at it,

I am aware of it.

Then all of a sudden we can see it more clearly.

Why is it here?

What's going on with it?

When did it first start?

What am I believing?

You understand when you recognize I am not socially anxious,

I'm just aware of a feeling,

All of a sudden it gives you more capacity,

More clarity,

More ease to be able to let go of it.

What else?

The other thing that comes to me about that is that a lot of the times with these emotional experiences,

We tend to view them as negative.

So social anxiety we view to be negative,

Stress negative,

Insecure negative,

Weak negative.

So if we feel socially anxious,

If we feel stressed,

If we feel insecure,

If we feel weak and we say I am an insecure person,

We're saying I am a bad person.

If we say I am a socially anxious person,

We're saying I am a bad person.

So when we identify with these emotions that we view to be negative,

We take on this idea that I am negative.

I'm a weak person,

I'm an insecure person,

I'm a nervous person,

I'm an angry person.

So therefore I am a bad person.

But these emotional experiences aren't who you are,

They mean nothing about you.

Why are you an angry person?

Why are you an anxious person?

Just because you feel anxious or angry over and over again,

It doesn't make it who you are.

If you wear a blue shirt over and over and over again,

It doesn't mean you are a blue person.

It's the same thing with emotions.

Emotions are like the shirts we wear.

So maybe you're not getting angry in every moment,

But you know there's a whole bunch of anger in you that's just waiting to get triggered,

Waiting to get activated.

Now just because there's a whole bunch of anger inside you,

Just because there's a whole bunch of fear inside you,

Just because there's a whole bunch of insecurity and unworthiness inside you,

It's like an internal shirt.

Or maybe perhaps a different analogy,

It's like different pieces of food you swallowed.

So when your mom yelled at you,

It's like you swallowed some unworthiness.

Yeah,

Like you swallowed a piece of broccoli,

Like you swallowed a piece of something.

When you were broken up with,

You swallowed a piece of fear.

It's like there's all sorts of different emotions inside of us that are waiting for situations to activate it.

Now if we remove these pieces,

Either by letting go of the beliefs,

Disbelieving them,

Letting go of the energetic charge from previous trauma,

Something we inherited from our parents,

Whatever the case may be,

When we let go of these different pieces inside of us,

Then when we're in the exact same environment,

There's nothing there to get activated or triggered.

Understand?

So if you let go of it,

You are still you.

You can't be an angry person.

You can't be an anxious person.

You can just be someone that has a lot of unworthiness inside,

A lot of anger inside,

That isn't a part of you.

It's just something you swallow,

Something you put on at some point in your life,

And you're just waiting for the right way,

The right moment to let go of it,

So you no longer need to operate with so much unworthiness,

Insecurity,

Fear,

Or anger in your life.

You are enough as you are.

You are not defined by the emotions you've experienced in your life.

You're not defined by your emotional triggers.

If you're experiencing a bunch of emotions,

Triggers,

Activated responses that don't feel good,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that it's painful.

I'm sorry it's not nice.

Sorry it causes you to not do the things you want.

Sorry it causes you to treat others unkindly or prevents you from pursuing your desires.

But when you believe it's a part of you,

It takes on much more heaviness,

Much more density,

And it's more difficult to come out of it.

So no matter how long it's been there,

No matter how often it arises,

It still means nothing about you.

And that's all I have to say today.

So I hope you have a beautiful day.

Bye.