Namaste,
Friends.
This mindfulness visualization trains the mind to become better aware of our thoughts and our mental activity when in conflict situations.
On a chair or cushion on the floor,
Sit in a position so that your body is grounded,
Balanced,
Comfortable,
And alert.
Sit with dignity like a king or queen on the throne.
If sitting on a chair,
Put your feet flat on the floor or some other stable object.
If sitting on a cushion,
Cross your legs if you can,
Or supporting your back with something stable,
Extend your legs in front of you.
Let the buttocks be balanced and firmly connected with whatever is underneath them.
Now lift the spine up all the way through the crown of the head as if a string connected your parts from the sitting bones all the way up the spine to the top of the head.
Dip the chin slightly toward the chest as if holding an orange.
Let the shoulders and arms be loose and relaxed.
Place your hands on your thighs or lap and breathe normally.
As employees or simply as human beings,
We recognize that we can act unskillfully in conflict situations.
Often we're on autopilot,
Reacting mindlessly to offenses,
Real or perceived,
Disagreeable behavior,
Or slights and arrows.
When we react without thinking,
Without care,
We can destroy trust and contribute to unhappy relationships and workplaces.
But with practice,
We can generate awareness so that we better understand how we show up in conflict.
And this inner work is a first step toward better conflict management.
So let's set an intention for this practice today.
For example,
You might say,
With kindness toward myself,
I am sitting to gain insight into my attitudes and thoughts around conflict so that I may be of greater service to myself and others.
Now take three deep inhalations and exhalations.
As we exhale in this first round,
We can begin to let go of events that happened prior to this present moment.
On our second exhalation,
We can begin to let go of future planning.
Inhaling and exhaling a third time,
We become more fully present in this moment.
Now allow your body to feel more relaxed and open,
Like you were sitting in a beautiful field under a blue limitless sky.
Scanning the body,
Invite the breath into those areas of tension to encourage their release.
Place your attention now more fully on your breath,
On the place in your body where you most readily and deeply connect to it,
Such as the belly,
Chest,
Or nostrils.
Let your breath be your anchor.
You can always return to the breath moving in and out of your body if you want to leave this visualization.
As you breathe in,
Know that you're breathing in.
As you breathe out,
Know that you're breathing out.
Follow the entire breathing cycle.
As you breathe in,
Notice the pause at the top of the breath.
As you breathe out,
Notice the pause at the bottom of the breath.
Try to observe the breath with a sense of gentleness,
Presence,
And open awareness.
Continue to try to let go of any tightness you might be feeling in the mind or the body.
And as you bear witness to this process,
Try not to control,
Judge,
Or criticize whatever might be arising.
Simply observe as you breathe in and breathe out.
Now imagine a big fluffy cloud in a bright blue sky.
This cloud can support you and imagine yourself sitting in that cloud.
Now visualize a time when you were in conflict with someone at work.
It could be a colleague,
Boss,
Or someone who reports to you.
Choose a conflict of light intensity and scope,
Avoiding those which can feel like an existential threat or too overwhelming.
If you can't identify a light work-related conflict,
No worries.
Choose one from other areas of your life.
As you sit on this white fluffy cloud,
See yourself below,
In your office,
At home,
Or elsewhere,
Engaged in the remembered conflict.
Try to generate specificity around the conflict.
Where were you?
Who else was involved?
Try to get a sense of the conflict unfolding in your experience in it as it did.
What was happening?
What did you say?
What did others say?
What was the body language like?
Try to see yourself and others as clearly as possible in the conflict,
But don't worry if the details are difficult to visualize.
Even if you can't see the event clearly,
See if you can get a feeling for the tone of the experience,
Similar to how you might feel when you awaken from a vivid dream.
As you do this exercise,
Try to refrain from judging or criticizing your experience.
Like you would with a dear friend in distress,
Just be with yourself with care,
With compassion.
If judgments or criticism arise,
No worries.
Just note that you're thinking and gently return to your breath in the remembered conflict.
As you observe the drama unfold,
Draw your attention now to your thoughts.
And when we look at thoughts,
We're asking,
What story am I telling myself about what's happening?
They could be thoughts about the other person involved,
Like,
Why is it always the worst performing employee who gives me the most trouble?
They could be thoughts based on unconsciously held beliefs,
Such as,
I'm never any good at handling conflict,
Or I learned to always avoid conflict.
Or they could be thoughts associated with feelings,
Such as,
I'm afraid to get involved with this employee because of the ramifications to my reputation.
Keep trying to tune into your storytelling as you watch yourself below from the perch of your white cloud.
And remember,
You can always return to the breath if you want to leave the visualization.
Is there a meta story you're telling yourself about what's happening?
It might be thoughts like,
Nobody cares what I want,
Or I have to win at any cost,
Or maybe I'll do anything to keep the peace in this office.
Just continue remembering the conflict along with its details.
And as you bear witness to the process,
Try not to control,
Judge,
Or criticize whatever might be arising.
Just try to watch and be with it as the drama unfolds with yourself,
One of the main players.
You're trying to become more aware of what's going on inside yourself,
In this case your thoughts,
When in conflict.
Now slowly begin to release your awareness completely of the conflict and gently turn your attention back to your breath in this present moment.
Take a few deep inhalations and exhalations if you'd like to encourage this letting go.
Now continue following your breath and let yourself become aware of your surroundings,
The air conditioner running,
Children laughing,
Dogs barking.
As you continue to sit,
Simply allow yourself to feel a sense of accomplishment,
A sense of gratitude for having the resources to develop and train your mind,
Such as having the time to do it,
A good mind,
And a well functioning body.
And in the days ahead,
As you let this exercise percolate in your conscious and subconscious mind,
See if you can recall what stories you tell yourself about how you show up in conflict,
As well as those you're in conflict with.
And for now,
Just consider how that storytelling informs your conflict management response.
These insights will provide the motivation for any change process you might later undertake to improve your conflict management skills.
We'll conclude this mindfulness visualization by dedicating any positive energy that we've created here today to all beings so that we may all be happy and free.
Namaste.
