Awareness Satsang: Everything Is Really Okay The Way It Is

Yeah,

So I can feel there's a lot of love,

Wanting to come to your hearts.

I,

I can feel this.

I'm seeing your it's like your golden hearts.

And I can see that that there's this love coming.

And it's just for for you guys to allow the connection more.

But it isn't even on you.

It's not on your shoulders.

I'm just shining a light.

It's like,

You know,

This image just came as you all appeared of these golden eternal hearts inside you.

And there's love coming.

And it's like,

As if you're conditioning this life,

Maybe from other lives is,

Is there's a little bit of a disconnection,

It's as if you don't know how to connect up to the bigger love.

And maybe you're feeling that,

You know,

Maybe you're feeling that that you that you know,

It's there,

But you can't quite feel it.

And I'd say,

Welcome to the spiritual journey,

Because that will happen over and over and over.

And it's like,

Ongoing shifts,

Ongoing,

It's like,

Though,

There's a feeling that you're not allowed to,

Okay.

And this is,

This is what we grew up with.

Talked about this is a certain amount of love allowed in our families.

And more than that isn't allowed,

Which is why in conventional family therapy,

The most loving person in the family will be the one who's picked on the most,

They say that.

That's it.

Okay.

See,

There's nothing wrong with you at all.

And there's,

You know,

What you deeply know inside is true.

Yeah.

It's this feeling again of not being allowed to connect up to this deeper love thing.

And part of it is,

You know,

You can't,

You can't,

You can't connect.

And part of it's your,

You know,

This information is coming very,

Very clearly.

Part of you don't know what you would do if you bring it in,

If you allow it,

It's like you're going,

Well,

How will my life continue?

What?

How's it going to change?

You know,

Will it cause trouble?

Yeah.

You know,

You'll just feel a lot better.

It won't cause trouble.

You feel a lot better.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Guys,

This is information coming.

And it's like,

It's connected to a feeling of weakness,

That you can't do it.

Now.

You guys,

We can't do it.

This feeling of weakness of not being able to make shifts of not being able to get it is,

Is just what it feels like.

But it's sort of like just knowing that I'm is going to sort it out,

That it will get done somehow,

That you just have to bumble along like a little child who doesn't know how to tie her shoelaces yet.

But she knows eventually she's going to figure it out.

It's like that.

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

You can get your minds around that a little bit.

That is how this one is done.

Every,

Every shift,

It's sort of like,

I don't know how to do this.

Where is it?

Shift,

Surrender,

Or,

Or noticing a gradual change,

Or having a dream.

The main thing is you don't think you're allowed to do this.

Okay,

So this is what I'm going to address.

And I'm going to talk about that philosopher we talked about before,

Emmanuel Kant,

And the idea that there's somebody knocking on the door,

Who wishes to,

You know,

Harm somebody who's living in the house with you a friend or a family member,

And can't says that you're obligated to answer his question truthfully about whether that person's there or not.

And we talked about how the heart,

The cells of your body will be screaming,

No.

Okay,

Now that the fact your cells of your body are screaming no,

Is exactly what the kind of split we have,

If we're operating too much in our heads.

And as we've been taught in this culture,

To most of us,

We're living in a way where the cells of our body are screaming no.

But we're not in touch with our feelings enough to get that data.

But gradually over time,

We do start allowing our feelings.

We do start allowing the data.

Just keep going.

Okay.

But I,

What I really want to highlight today,

Particularly,

Is about this guy knocking on the door,

Okay,

This is what we do to ourselves.

It's as if we're in a house,

We have somebody knocking at the door,

Who's telling us that,

You know,

Who's asking us about our frailties,

Or pointing out,

Like,

Where we're,

Where we've made mistakes,

Or where we're weak.

And we,

We hear all this material in our heads.

And it's true on a level.

So,

This is what a lot of us walk around in this level of self criticism of self hatred,

You know,

And to our heads will go,

Well,

It's true.

Like I'm selfish,

Or I'm weak,

Or whatever it is,

We're,

We're saying about ourselves.

Okay,

And when the ego,

Okay,

No,

This is really important.

When they,

When you are transforming,

This material will get very,

Very loud.

So all your frailties,

All your mistakes of your life will come up really strongly,

Is if there's somebody there scanning at the door pointing this material out to you,

Like a judge and executioner,

And there's nothing you can do about it.

Okay,

So what I'm wanting,

If you can think about observing this,

Not taking it so seriously,

Knowing that it's,

You know,

Garbage.

That's it.

It's a distorting of the truth.

It's like being in one of those magic mirror places.

You know,

At a carnival and you walk in and you're,

You look like you're 500 pounds,

Or you look like you're 10 feet tall.

Okay.

See,

Most people just live their lives this way.

That they,

This is how they experience themselves.

And they're always trying to cover up their frailties and wounding.

It's like,

But at the same time,

They feel like somebody's at the door pointing them out.

This is what I really want you to like,

In a way get over.

Or just understand that that is a step on the journey where it gets very intense like that,

Where we feel our flaws very heavily,

Just as we're about to receive love,

Just as we're about to step into more trust.

Yeah,

I'm just gonna wait here a while.

You know,

With me and my English plays on words and everything,

It always struck me so interesting that this Emmanuel camp guy,

His name is can't.

And you know,

This feeling of somebody at the door criticizing us,

Or,

You know,

Asking to kill somebody in our house.

It gives a feeling if you can't do anything,

You can't you're stuck,

You can't,

You're powerless,

You can't.

Okay,

That is baloney.

The feeling feels true.

But it's baloney.

You can always do something.

And what you can do is kind of take a step back from your experience.

Watch it to watch it.

If you can now this takes time on the journey to learn how to do this,

To learn how to observe your experience.

But the I'll tell you,

But the barrier I face in you guys over and over again,

Is where you're believing a storyline that diminishes you.

That tells you you're not much that you have these flaws,

Or you're in this situation.

And it's inescapable.

Yeah.

And it's almost like I feel like I want you to take a deep breath.

A deep breath of just just take a deep breath.

It's,

It's,

It's almost like,

You know,

Taking a deep breath of Hawaiian warm Hawaiian air in a way.

It's like,

Let you know,

Your heart come in more.

You see,

When we're frozen like that,

With our heads,

We're walling off our heart.

And our heart has the answers.

Our heart has a completely different perspective on our lives than our heads do.

It's completely different.

And it's far more pleasant.

I'd say that it's far more like the heart will it with the heart,

It's like everything is okay,

No matter what is happening or how difficult things are to your heart.

It's all okay.

Because you're just going through a learning curve.

And your heart knows that there's some things that just by living,

They're going to get solved over time.

It's just going to get solved over time.

It is truly this is a good news.

It's just going to get solved over time.

Yeah.

But it's like I'm reminding you about your hearts.

It's like this kind of Hawaiian warm Hawaiian air wanting to come in to help you connect up to your truth more.

That's it.

That's it.

Good.

That's it,

You have permission to connect up to your truth.

I mean,

This is why we come to satsangs.

I mean,

This is this is the byproduct is it strengthens our hearts.

Yeah.

You know,

My feeling is why things get better over time,

You say time heals,

But really,

It's the silence within that heals the silence of the whole universe that heals us.

And we can see that in retrospect.

That's why we say time heals.

It's a silence within you that heals.

It's the God within you that heals.

You know,

Working with people,

It's,

It's,

It's just so interesting,

Because there's a level that you can't really teach somebody,

You can help them remember,

You can help them feel safe enough to trust themselves.

We,

When I speak to you,

You know,

We all have different minds,

We have had different lifetimes.

So what I'm saying could be interpreted,

Will be interpreted by like 25 different ways.

Because we've all got our own lens.

But the thing is,

We are all this silence,

That is your true nature,

This silence that all the sages talk about,

It's your true nature.

And you are that.

You are that.

Well,

That's it.

Good.

That's it.

You,

You are this love.

And you go on forever.

Like you are eternal.

You know,

Christ said,

We're living in eternal life.

It's like the Eastern sages say,

The substratum is life,

Is love,

And eternal life.

And there's just this confusion that sort of sits on the top of it.

And there's this confusion that sits sort of on top of the cells of your body that are made out of love.

So it's just the key is,

Where do you put your attention?

You know,

Who do you talk to the most?

Please,

This is really important.

You know,

Are you talking to the confusion all the time?

Or are you steering your consciousness to remind yourself that the truth is silence that Amma is inside you that the creators inside you?

You know,

There's a Buddhist nun that I just heard about.

This woman was,

She was very beautiful as a young woman.

And there's this really wealthy merchant in her community or town that was intent on marrying her.

So she escaped down a kind of cliffside latrine,

Climb down it,

And walk to the monastery.

It's,

You know,

A long,

Arduous journey,

But she did this.

And then she has stayed basically,

In solitary for 45 years.

Now,

She's had meals brought to her twice a day.

And she's had medical help,

She needed it.

But that was it for 45 years.

Yeah.

And you know what she said,

When she when she came out?

She was criticizing,

Really,

All the all the Buddhist all the complexities and all the different worlds and all the different things you have to do.

And she was basically saying,

Look,

Just say a mantra.

For the good of all the world,

For the good of all the beings in the world.

Just focus on that,

Say a mantra.

And she was just,

You know,

Illuminated.

If I can find this again,

I'll send it to you.

Okay,

That is it.

That is the way the way of devotion,

It is the quickest,

Quickest way.

To you know,

What I did,

After all that difficulty,

I just decided that I was going to serve love in everything I did.

And you know,

I had a really huge ego,

It was very difficult.

I mean,

It felt like not a lot of love was coming through.

I just walked around in a lot of confusion.

But I was always steering towards embodying love.

So the confusion fell away.

So this you guys,

This is what I want to say to you,

Is if it's a really strong thing,

That you really want to,

You know,

Do your Dharma this life that you really want to live in truth that you,

You know,

When you bring your consciousness back to you know,

Amma and the silence,

And you do it with real heart,

Not just like on automatic,

Not just mechanically.

Because if we do stuff mechanically,

It doesn't work very much.

It's like motherhood.

A mother can do it mechanically,

Almost like a nanny,

Or she can really have her heart in it.

And guess,

You know,

The kids are going to be quite different.

The result is going to be very different.

The same thing happens with our spiritual journey.

If our hearts in it,

We triumph.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

If your heart isn't in it,

Is you're hearing these words,

You're thinking,

Well,

I'm not that focused on the silence.

I'm not that focused on moving into truth.

Just be with it.

Just Yes,

That's the way it is.

It's okay.

Don't try to push yourself.

Don't try to manipulate yourself.

Just be with it.

That's how it is.

Right.

Okay.

And when you're just,

That's how it is.

The silence,

You has maneuvering room to,

To help bring you into more,

More truth,

You know,

Because it's our egos that like,

Go,

I'm not doing it.

Good enough.

I'm,

I should be more sincere.

I'm,

I'm doing it wrong.

Just be with the truth of yourself.

You guys,

This is the key is be with the truth of yourselves.

It's okay.

You know,

For a long time,

I told you,

I was like,

I was kind of like focused on property,

Because I was trying to support my journey.

So I would do stuff like just get kind of in that space of property and owning property and focus that way.

But I was trying to do it to support myself because I didn't.

Because I was scared that you know,

I wouldn't be fed if I just relaxed and moved into truth that I wouldn't have any money.

So all I could do was just be with that,

Until I grew out of it.

I grew out of it.

And the way I grew out of it was with the property thing,

I always ran into deficits,

It never worked well,

It took a lot of energy,

It didn't make me that much money,

It,

It stressed me out,

It filled my mind with stuff I didn't really want to think about.

And it didn't work.

Well,

There was one year that I made from I had a fourplex at one point,

I made for the whole year.

$236 profit,

You know,

So it was good.

I didn't,

You know,

I didn't get foreclosed upon,

But I made $236.

Yeah,

Universe was showing me I,

You know,

Maybe you're not going in the right way,

Premise Suda.

But again,

I was stuck in,

I have to support myself.

So you guys,

This stuff just gets solved over time,

Over time with the experience of,

You know,

That it took a lot of effort,

It didn't work that well,

I gave up on it.

I gave up,

I surrendered.

I totally surrendered.

It was like that was when I was living in this little cabin,

And it sold.

And I,

You know,

Wasn't making not much income.

And I thought,

Well,

I guess I'm going to be in my car.

And I thought to myself,

Well,

I guess I'll have good medicine,

Good meditations.

I mean,

Truly,

I was thinking that way.

Oh,

Well,

That's the way way it is.

And then something completely different happened,

I finally got out of the way enough,

That the universe could come in with some physical support.

Do you understand this?

It took me years to get out of the way enough.

And it's not a technique to follow or figure out how to do what premise Suda did.

It's this focusing on the divine.

It's wanting to embody the silence wanting to embody the truth.

That is your true north.

That is your safety net.

You know,

It's good to get very blunt with oneself,

You know.

It's like,

You know,

To really get so that we can see our frailties and accept them.

Yeah.

I mean,

It's like,

Would you die if you just accepted your frailties?

And just accepted like,

Well,

Maybe it's just going to be this way my whole life.

It's just this way.

Maybe it will be this way your whole life.

Or maybe when you just accept things enough that you get out of the way your soul,

The silence,

The alma within can come in and give you gifts of bigger understanding or problems being solved.

See,

Lots of times when I'm working with people,

I can feel how they're not really wanting it all that much,

You know,

That it's very conditional,

They're going,

Okay,

I want to move into truth,

But I want this and I want that and this has to save seeing.

And that's what the,

You know,

Sages call attachments,

Or attachments get in the way we go,

Okay,

Well,

I have to be able to drive a Rolls Royce or I need six vacations every year,

Whatever it is,

Or I want or somebody,

I,

Somebody has to keep loving me.

Or the people around me have to behave in certain ways.

Right?

Okay.

I'll tell you.

Okay,

I want want you to listen to this.

The more attachments we have,

The more rigid,

Rigid our minds and bodies.

Yeah,

The fewer attachments,

The more flexible you are mentally.

And,

You know,

I find physically,

You know,

You're not in trouble.

Some of you are feeling like there's a guy at the door criticizing you again.

And I don't want that I,

You know,

But if you can,

Like,

See,

When we evolve,

We don't get to keep our egos.

See,

This is the rub because it's like the seeker part of us is actually it's our ego.

The part that's looking for God is the is,

Is,

Is,

You know,

It's God in a way that's giving you the grace to see God,

But then the person who feels they don't have truth yet is the ego.

But I,

You know,

I don't want to go on too much about that.

But I'm hoping that as a result of this sad saying that you'll the resistant,

The love current will be just a little small,

Smaller,

Little more love coming into yourselves.

It's gradually over time.

That's it.

That's it.

Good.

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

Some of you are like,

Clicking into the feeling of being a love child.

No,

Everything's okay.

Everything really is okay.

Yeah,

Really,

It's okay,

You guys.

Something beyond us brings us into this knowledge.

But you know,

It's funny.

I mean,

When I think of like,

Ama said over and over again,

That mantras,

You know,

Are a good idea.

And you know,

I mean,

I guess my mantra was kind of this focus on self compassion,

But I found that she's saying mantras pretty boring,

So I didn't do it much.

So I think,

You know,

It could have shortened my journey if I'd like,

Got over myself enough to like,

Say my mantra more,

You know.

So I noticed when I tell people to say the mantra,

Lots of times they go,

Yeah,

Yeah,

But just I can feel them dropping it.

They just drop the idea because it's kind of boring.

And sometimes we don't see the effects.

But it works.

It really does.

Yeah.

So if you can't do anything,

You can see a mantra.

It's like your magic cord to Ama,

Your magic cord to the Creator.

That's it.

That's it.

There's some of you that are you,

Your purity of heart is increasing.

This really good.

That really works.

The universe loves purity of heart.

Truly.

It adores it.

Another way to say that is universe loves boldness,

Too.

But going forward,

You know,

I've said it so many times,

Like the fool on the fairy tale,

You just go forward.

With the purity of heart,

You just go forward.

And you just do your best.

The thing I'm going to spotlight is,

Again,

This instinctual versus mechanical.

It's there in our base chakra.

You know,

We get instinctual knowledge about how to proceed.

We also get a mechanical way to proceed.

And it's again,

Like motherhood,

We either do it from our hearts kind of an instinctual way,

Or we do it like a nanny a little like mechanical.

Okay.

Return to the instinctual,

Make room for the instinctual to come in because there is soul knowledge in there that will show you how to do things.

It's sort of like,

You know,

If a family has in the habit of eating breakfast cereal for breakfast,

Okay,

Breakfast means breakfast cereal.

So you eat your breakfast cereal.

But if you're thinking instinctually more,

You go,

What does my body want for breakfast?

What does it need for breakfast?

And there's a pause and you have to think and feel and listen.

But maybe it needs,

I don't know,

Avocados and raspberries.

So you do that.

And then your body is happier than with the cereal.

Yeah.

You know,

Inside you,

There's an incredible,

Instinctual knowledge and understanding and know how for how to solve things.

And our culture,

Again,

Is an extreme of the mechanical,

You know,

We,

We,

There's so many on YouTube,

Like how to do this.

How to.

So we really emphasize skill.

And we don't emphasize character say.

Yeah,

So somebody goes to Okay,

So here it is.

You're hiring somebody,

You've got somebody who checks all the boxes with this with the skills and everything.

But you just have this instinctual feeling about this other candidate,

Who's maybe not so well qualified?

Well,

The mechanical answer is you stay with the one who looks good on paper.

And the instinctual way is,

You go with your gut feeling about the other candidate.

Okay.

It's like start getting interested in what you instinctually know,

And get interested in solving things instinctually,

Because it will give you,

Say,

A series of actions to solve something.

It will just,

It'll just arise if you make space for it.

It's like,

You know,

You,

You might be looking for property.

So you go to the realtor,

And they've got like,

Things set up for,

You know,

Various days that are set aside to go drive around with the realtor and look for houses.

Or you might just find that you've got this pole to get in the car and drive in a certain direction.

And just follow it.

Okay.

For example,

I'll give you one time,

I was really,

Really going through a really tough patch.

And it was like the whole bottom was falling out of my world.

And I remember driving around in the,

You know,

I was like,

Caught up at like six o'clock in the morning.

I mean,

I'd start just driving around for hours in the morning,

Sometimes.

And I kept stopping when I did it on Sundays,

I thought my car would just stop in front of this church.

It I just was drawn to pull over.

And I guess about the third time I did this,

I thought,

Well,

I guess I'm to go into this church.

Now,

This church was a fundamentalist church.

I'm going,

This is just so weird.

Here I am going,

It's fundamentalist church.

So I'm just driven,

Keep driving in front of and stopping it really the car with like,

I would just pull over because I had to.

It's like I couldn't drive past.

So I went in.

And you know,

I had this lovely conversation with this fundamentalist preach priest.

And I knew I couldn't really say anything about me that he would understand,

But I could see how he understood love too.

So I did that the next week too.

And I had another conversation about this.

And for some reason,

This helped me.

And on the third week,

He made some comment like wanting me to come to something he he did some,

You know,

He was thinking,

Oh,

Here's a new person or,

Or something he's trying to rope me in.

And I,

I knew I just couldn't continue.

But whatever that was,

It helped me.

Okay,

So this was something I was so good at,

Was following this crazy shit,

Basically,

Truly,

I just followed this stuff.

And I see that there was an instinctual part of me that knew how to do my healing.

And it was completely out of the box.

And it was nothing,

Lots of stuff.

I just never told anybody about because it's like,

I just knew nobody would understand it.

And it would just sound sort of stupid.

Yeah.

This is what you see,

If we're if we're too hard on ourselves,

And we're drowning ourselves in feelings of being inadequate or not doing it right.

We douse this information,

We,

We drown it in our self hatreds.

And our cultures are getting increasingly technological and mechanical.

And this is why people are losing their mental stability.

See,

Because we're,

I mean,

We think it works on one level,

But the cost of it is just off the charts.

It's just just,

I mean,

What's the point of having a mechanically functioning society where everybody is quietly losing their minds like this is just,

It's the it's the stupidity.

It's like,

Have the courage to stay sane by being a little wild,

Giving yourself more permission,

Telling the guy who's knocking at your door pointing out your faults are telling the woman whoever it is,

To F.

Oh,

Like,

I mean,

It's like,

Just whatever works kind of,

You know?

I mean,

Sometimes it's an F.

Oh,

Sometimes it's a Oh,

Yeah,

And acceptance.

Yeah,

That's the way I am.

And remember,

What will be your biggest flaw will be your biggest gift.

So yeah.

But there were so many examples where I just did stuff like that had funny little encounters like with the church.

And you know,

Shortly after that,

I started to feel a lot better.

So who knows what there was from before life or some agreement or whatever.

It's kind of like let yourself be a little wild,

A little bit crazier than you would allow like,

You know,

This some of you've seen this video that I put out with saying,

You know,

We're focusing a lot on trauma coming down the family line.

And it's like,

It's really a way of putting a lot of garbage on our heads.

It's just it's like an avalanche of despair and everything.

I mean,

It's hard enough to deal with this lifetime,

Let alone with your grandmothers and great grandmothers.

Okay,

So if you think to yourself that you have all these lives,

Lifetimes,

And each one of you is giving you biggest capacities,

Big capacities where you solved a lot of trouble,

Solved a lot of problems.

And you had talents and those talents are accessible in you.

You can learn to bring them up again.

Think that way,

That you're a storehouse of power and capacity.

And know how and you've been different colors,

Different sexes,

Different cultures.

And your knowledge base is enormous.

Think that way.

Yeah.

We,

We have this tendency to think that we're like,

Birthday cakes or something.

We're like,

That we should be beautiful,

But we're not.

We should be wonderful,

But we're not.

No,

You are.

You've had hundreds of lifetimes.

Hundreds of capacities.

Hundreds of solving problems when you thought always lost.

Yeah.

And this is where you know,

When you have a difficulty.

It's like this instinctual knowledge can come up,

It comes up from an instinctual level.

It's like,

Where you solve this problem before in another life,

Or you use the information of solving it from another life.

I mean,

This is how we evolve.

Because we we learn not to do certain things,

Because we get the karma.

So we learn not to do that.

That's why people get kind of pure and you know,

Better behaved as they get older.

I don't mean it like in a nicey nice way.

They just learned that sharing love works better.

Being generous works better in the long run.

Yeah,

That's how evolution takes place.

It's like,

You know,

Yeah.

Okay,

So I know,

You guys are God in human form.

And I know that you each have had hundreds of lifetimes from which to draw on.

And I also know you just need a little help this life learning to love and forgive yourselves.

Really,

That's what I do.

Come on,

You can do it.

You can do it.

You're not that bad.

You're just adorable the way you are.

Yeah.

Okay,

So we can go over.

You know,

We can stay like 20 minutes,

Even half an hour for questions if you wish.

And if you don't want to stay that long,

Please just say farewell.

Thanks for coming.

But for the rest who want any questions or comments,

And don't be scared to make a fool out of yourselves,

Please,

Because that that is,

You know what,

That is life.

And it's certainly the spiritual journey is making a fool out of yourself.

You're just going in.

So don't worry about it.

We're all we're all fools.

We're all like,

We're all idiots.

We keep making the same mistake over and over.

Come on.

You're okay to be human.

So you're allowed.

Yeah.

Maxi,

Did you have a question?

Or comment?

Hello,

Everybody.

And I was gonna share a dream.

Like,

Like two or three weeks,

I had a real difficult time.

Kids were sick.

I was sick.

I was just feeling mentally really bad.

There was,

I couldn't surrender.

I just felt like,

Oh,

My goodness,

What is this?

I've just felt like a big mountain of poop.

So yeah.

Oh,

My goodness,

Is this ever gonna ending?

And then I had I'm not really sure if it was after our satsang last week,

But round about that.

It's like the light came again.

And I had a wonderful dream.

It wasn't like it was just like a short dream,

Because then I had to wake up again,

Because kids are sick at night and coughing.

So it was really short.

But in this dream,

I was in love with a guy.

And I could feel so much love.

Like,

In this dream,

There was so much love between this person and me.

I have never,

Like felt in reality.

And it was so wonderful to just feel this love.

I was just like,

Oh,

My goodness.

It is possible or whatever I felt just the feeling was amazing.

Yeah.

And after this dream,

It felt lighter and easier.

Yeah.

That's what I want to share.

You know,

Dreams like that help us help ourselves to open up to love.

It's great.

It's exactly what I was talking about when I felt you guys these golden hearts and just this feeling of that you're not allowed to receive love,

But you are.

And so you guys will have dreams like that.

That will help exactly like that,

Whether you remember it or not.

Okay.

Yeah.

Great,

Maxi.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's like these periods of the sun comes out.

Yeah.

After these periods of rocky periods,

And then the sun will come out.

That's fantastic.

And yourselves will be able to receive love more,

Which is fantastic.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Alex,

Was that when you guys move?

I don't know whether you're like wanting to speak for you?

No.

Yeah.

If nobody else is gonna talk,

Please go.

Um,

You had mentioned at one point that there were about 10 years where you didn't read books.

Yeah.

And I've had,

I've had also in my life periods where I couldn't,

I didn't want to read books.

And I've also had periods where I've devoured books.

Yeah,

I had a book devouring period between visits last year,

And then I noticed around December,

That the energy of I'm going to do something,

You know,

Can't just sit and read.

And for a while,

I was just I just want to sit and read this is,

You know,

And then I felt that lifting and I still have quite a few books that that I'm interested in reading.

And I'm just wondering if you could,

You know,

Because you obviously read things and watch things and because you have bits of information from here.

And I just wondering if you could share a bit more about your experience with that.

With about reading or not reading?

Well,

Yeah,

Because reading is a very,

Very head mental activity,

But it does.

It does certain,

You know,

Certain things do help us,

You know,

Get into our heart,

Depending on what they're reading,

Just if you had any,

Anything more to share about?

Well,

You know,

A couple of things.

One is,

There's,

One of the things that I did with reading was,

I would often read about a spiritual step.

And then I would do it.

Okay,

And this is why you guys,

I,

It really matters where we're putting our will,

Because if you really want to grow,

It can be as simple as that.

You see,

Because I,

During periods where I didn't have a closeness with the teacher,

Or even if Alma was,

You know,

I've been some months since I'd seen her.

So it can be very,

Very valuable just reading about these steps in a way like it will be woven into spiritual,

The Awakened Children books or the Gita or anything by an authentic teacher,

Some step of,

Of where you are,

And you need to take will be in there.

So I think that's really,

You know,

The funny,

I had a really violent thing going on with my revulsion to the highly intellectual climate that I'd grown up in,

And into the fact the head was so overvalued.

So this period when I studied with Abraham,

I was just heavily into kind of wanting to get access to my instinctual knowledge and come away from anything mechanical,

Or anything intellectual,

I just,

It was like,

I just felt like it was the biggest thing that was hurting all of us that that had hurt me.

And I even felt in my body,

I learned how to read at four.

And,

You know,

I did it because I had siblings,

And I was kind of a,

You know,

I wanted to do what they did.

And I felt it cellularly that the,

The,

The disruption of my psyche by learning to read too early.

So it was a really big deal with me.

So that's why I think it was a 10 year thing.

And then I went back to reading whenever I wanted,

You know,

I just read whatever I wanted,

Whenever I wanted.

Just very,

You know,

Letting the universe draw me to things.

So it's sometimes also,

Sweetie,

We need periods where we don't,

Ourselves,

We don't need any extra stimulation.

So you know,

We might read just to keep the stimulation down.

Just follow these things,

Follow them,

Follow what you want to do.

This is a lot of it.

Set your heart on love,

And then just follow.

Just that's your path.

That's it.

It's like,

You know,

Nobody else can can walk it.

Yeah.

And it's so funny,

Because,

You know,

Funny,

Part of why people listen to me is because this journey is so backed by the intellect at this point,

You see,

I mean,

It's backed by I talked about philosophers,

I talked about the connections to the,

You know,

The,

Of the grail,

It's like it is in a way so highly intellectual,

In a way,

But it's got this roots in this,

In this aboriginal simplicity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So read away,

I can tell that's a relief to you,

Right?

Yeah.

Thank you for your answer.

Yes.

Yeah.

Follow.

You guys follow.

Yeah,

Follow.

They don't make everything bad or good.

This is the,

This is letting the air,

The Hawaiian warm Hawaiian air,

Give yourself space,

Space to be.

Yeah.

This,

This bad or good thing we do is a slavery.

It's a slavery.

And it's,

It's exactly the overemphasis of the head that I'm talking about.

Rather than,

You know,

The hearts.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Read away.

You know,

I'd even sit,

You know,

I am an extreme for all you have to do is steer towards God.

That's it.

All you have to do is one one body love.

Steer towards God.

Yeah.

Meditation helps.

But if you're doing medicate meditation,

Medication,

Meditation mechanically,

Without a deep steering to God,

It's not going to work.

Okay,

That won't work at all.

And if you,

If you have a really,

Really deep visceral desire to embody your true self,

Then there's lots of ways that you can just do what you want.

Now,

I don't want to give like a get out of jail card or to like about not doing meditation,

Meditation is really important.

It's really important,

Because it it helps turn your mind inward.

But you see,

Some sometimes we just do it mechanically just to you know,

Fit in with the spiritual journey and fit in with all the people Nashram and that's like,

Hello.

It's not so useful.

It's what's going on in your heart that God listens to that Alma listens to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And don't run from that.

Just be with that.

And if you don't like what's going on,

If you feel like you don't like what's going on in your heart,

Just give it over to Alma and just,

You know,

Just be with it.

It's like we're human.

You know,

It's a world of duality.

But please,

You know,

I,

This,

This one colored outside the lines,

My whole journey.

Truly,

I had so many people all along telling me that I didn't get it that I was wrong that I was doing it wrong.

And it's like,

If I'd listened to them,

Where would I be?

I just follow this kind of instinctual,

I want to embody God this life.

And then a lot of the time,

I just followed my gut,

I just did what the next step seemed to be.

The next step was driving around,

Like,

Just finding a car stopped in front of this church.

Well,

Then that's what it was,

You know?

Yeah.

You know,

You look at Alma's journey,

It was wild.

She upset everybody,

But she embodied love.

I'm not saying like go around upsetting people,

But she didn't like look at herself and go,

Oh,

I'm doing it wrong.

I shouldn't be.

She just loved Yeah.

Yeah,

That's kind of,

That's kind of like a dare.

I want to dare you to just love,

You know,

And I put your arms around yourself and just be yourselves.

You know,

The very beginning of my journey,

I had just got a sense of what love was.

And somebody asked me,

You know,

What was love?

And I had just got a sense of what love was.

And somebody asked me to work on massage,

This guy who had fallen and broken his neck.

And he was paralyzed.

So I worked on him.

And it was like,

I felt like I was chasing denial all through his body.

It's like I,

I touch it,

I'd speak to it like I do.

And then the denial would jump.

And I then follow it and everything.

And at the end of it,

We never did.

We never he never,

Never got solved.

At the end,

The denial was always just running from my hands.

And at the end,

He afterwards,

He said to his friend,

Oh,

You should have brought somebody serious rather than Janet.

And it's like,

I was so hurt and everything.

I thought,

Well,

Maybe I'm maybe I really,

Maybe I'm deluded,

Maybe.

And it was years later,

I thought I was just very accurate.

It was denial.

He didn't want to face it.

And that's why he badmouthed me at the end.

It's like,

Who are you going to trust?

Who are you going to side with side with yourself?

You know,

Take data,

Consider consider it,

You know,

Consider it,

But believe in yourselves.

And,

And,

You know,

The,

The authenticity and actually,

The power of what comes to me comes as a result of,

Of those kind of experiences of offering love or doing trying to,

You know,

Do doing my best with it,

And it getting dissed or treated badly.

And me taking that to heart thinking about it,

Purifying and getting up and trying again.

Right.

And then finally,

I'm here speaking to you guys.

Finally,

It's like our diamonds,

They get polished,

They get cut,

The rough edges get cut off as a result of just living.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's interesting.

I'm feeling that all of you are just gradually developing a little more space in your outlook.

A little more spacious.

And that is a big enhancer for the journey.

A little more spacious,

A little more open.

You know,

Amma says,

One of the things that really needs to happen is our,

Our minds need to open.

See,

When our minds open,

We accept ourselves more.

We accept our We accept our humanity.

Yeah.

You're very beautiful.

Yeah.

All of you.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Since you're all of you.

All of you.

More questions or comments.

It helps everybody so much when we do bring things forward,

You know.

I just want to make a comment.

I was at a retreat last weekend,

Last weekend.

And what one thing that this teacher teaches,

And I just want to share this,

Like with that dream,

Where I can't remember the name now,

But how she felt so much love.

And she teaches just stay with that for 20 seconds,

Every single day for 21 days.

And that it changes your neuro,

Like you were saying,

That the cellular level,

You know,

Just to make this conscious effort to refill those kind of feelings again.

And I have been doing that I've been staying with a memory where I really felt a lot of love from my mom.

And,

And I think it's been helpful.

Also,

On that retreat,

She had us pick up objects that she had different things out on the table,

And you had to pick one that spoke to you.

And then journal with it,

Or dialogue with it.

And I picked this little,

Little tiny Christmas light that fell off of an old Christmas earring,

You know.

And,

And it was interesting when I had dialogue with it.

And it,

You know,

I asked it what it had to say,

You know,

I guess I anyway,

I,

The feeling that I got that the message that I got from the earring was that I'm much brighter than I think I am,

You know,

Like I saw this,

This little bitty broken,

Little Christmas light.

And,

And yet,

You know,

When I dialogued with it,

It told me that it was much brighter than I realized.

And I can feel things shifting,

I just really can I,

I,

I just want to continue,

You know,

It's all of a sudden,

I'm starting to hear things you've said that I've never heard before.

Things are changing for me.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I can just,

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's all I wanted to say.

Yeah,

No,

It's good.

It's all these things.

Make space,

They're kind of things,

Doing these things help us breathe this Hawaiian air,

They,

They,

They give us more space,

We,

They strengthen our hearts,

They,

We come out of our intellects a little more into our hearts to actually get down to how we're actually feeling and the weave,

Just like what you said,

Shivamayee.

And you know what,

We do these,

These kind of things,

We will just do as a byproduct of really wanting to embody love.

Yeah,

Taking the time to feel what we really feel about things.

Doing this focus for 20 seconds every day,

You just do these things kind of as a byproduct.

It's it of wanting to come into love.

Good.

It's good.

Somebody could give you some know how that way.

It's good to help open the door to do that more and more.

It's also a way of bringing you into more being present,

Present with how you feel about this.

These items.

Yeah,

Awesome.

Yes.

Well,

Shivamayee,

You have a like a huge heart.

So you're going to feel happier and happier as you move into it.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you for offering.

Hi,

Pramasutha.

Yeah,

Stephanie.

Hey,

Hey,

Everyone.

Thank you for all your sharing and Shivamayee,

You know that advice to pull that energy forward from a wonderful dream of that love.

It's beautiful.

I just wanted to like say about the mantra,

How much it's worked for me.

Especially,

I'm a really when I was at the ashram,

Really showing I think how to say the mantra with some passion and energy,

Or at least for me,

It felt like that at the end of when she sings bhajans.

She always kind of clasps her hands close to her heart and looks to the sky and says,

Mama,

Mama,

Mama.

And it's just that energy.

I started to do that a bit because I found I got a little mechanical in my mantra.

But that really spoke to me.

So I think sometimes it's like playing around or feeling like,

Oh,

I really want to chant my mantra,

But I need some help of how it would work for me.

That the mama,

Mama,

And imagining a ma really has helped.

So I just wanted to say that the mantra chanting really has helped me and thank you for reminding us all the importance of that.

Thank you.

Yeah,

It's one of those tried and tested tools.

Yeah,

Thanks,

Stephanie.

And you're right,

Like how we say our mantra really matters.

Yeah,

There was a Yogananda was walking with his teacher,

Pass some Hare Krishna people that were speaking,

Saying a mantra chanting and doing it in a harsh way.

And Yogananda,

This dis them,

Criticize them for doing it so harshly.

And then the,

His teacher reminded him they were doing it out of ignorance.

The way they were speaking it so harshly and abruptly was out of ignorance,

And that they would get those kind of results coming back to them.

The hardness with which they were speaking the mantra.

And we Yeah,

When we do it really soft and with reverence,

Mama,

Mama,

Mama,

Whatever,

That will bring very soft,

Loving results.

Thank you,

Stephanie.

Thank you.

That's really helpful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

Last call.

Well,

I wish to thank you all,

You know,

And for your presence for your loving presence.

Yeah,

I feel your heart so strongly.

Yeah.

You guys.

You so dear.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

With every little bit of ignorance and resistance,

We we draw,

Just as a byproduct of meeting.

It helps us helps the world.

It's,

It's,

It's our greatest gift we can give.

Okay.

There's no greater gift.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

You know,

It's funny,

I can't.

I'm gonna go,

But I can't see how to press the exit.

And I don't know how to,

For some reason,

I'm not seeing the button.

That's so funny.

You guys.

Here it is.

There's no leave button.

There's no there's no way to you know,

So I guess that maybe the message is that our connection remains always.

Okay.

Yeah,

There's no leave button.

There's no disconnect button,

Which is so funny,

Because I was talking about this love wanting to come to the heart and that there was this problem that the resistance and at the end of the satsang,

I can't find the button to release to leave.

I think it's hilarious.

The metaphor,

The metaphor,

Metaphor for good work.

Okay.

Okay,

Anna,

Can you you can turn it off,

Right?