It Is Our Divinity That Understands Our Human Self

Calling on Amos Grace.

Calling on the creators of grace,

The peace and the warmth of this eternal love that we are made out of,

That we're playing in,

Playing in its created aspect,

But it's all God.

Yeah,

There's no separation at all.

Even though we're on the physical plane and it can feel like it,

There is no separation.

We just have to learn to lodge in our true natures.

We just have to learn to befriend and then live within our true natures.

And that is the point of the satsangs,

To strengthen your connection to your true nature so that you experience it in your lives and bring it forth in your existences and share the love that we are.

Just share it.

Be it and share it.

And have great,

Great love and compassion and self-understanding,

Understanding of our own bumbling human selves.

Because when we understand our bumbling human selves,

We start lodging in our divinity because it's our divinity that understands our human selves.

And so it is.

So,

You know,

Just go ahead and ask.

You know,

Just being in the space with this energy may answer your questions as well.

But it's good to come forward.

I notice it's very accelerative for people when they come forward in a loving group and expose their vulnerabilities.

But we can't push it or force it.

Just as you feel.

Yeah,

Certainly no demand at this end.

Yeah.

Okay.

Does anybody have a question or comment?

Hey,

From the circus,

Laura.

From?

Sweet one.

Um,

Well,

I bumbled and I think I made a mess of things yesterday.

I'm in Florida and it's really intense.

And I live across the street from my sister,

Which is such a joy.

And she's in a very difficult marriage and her four children are being affected and it's pushing a lot of buttons.

We grew up with women being passive and quiet.

And I said something to my sister and it wasn't well received by her husband,

Of course.

Uh-huh.

Right.

It's all very disheartening.

I wish everybody could come to your side sometimes.

Oh,

Sweetie.

I see myself in her.

And yeah,

I'm just so grateful that my soul pulled me out of that and brought me here to this point.

Right.

And I'm getting that I can't save anybody at all.

Like you said,

They get it when they want it,

If they want it.

And it's so good.

Oh,

Sweetie.

Oh,

And I'm sorry,

Everybody.

I hate to come with such a mess.

But this is a big one for me.

Yeah.

There's no need to apologize for your humanity,

Sweet one.

Yeah.

Although when we're in our stuff,

It feels like we feel a little bit of,

You know,

We're not doing it right.

Yeah.

Bumbling.

Bumbling.

Bumbling.

Yeah.

So,

Is there a question for this?

Or are you just needing to be witnessed?

And it's whatever works.

I heard you say on the last satsang that if you see a Dharma,

You need to speak up or it's going to keep repeating itself.

And I spoke up.

And my question is,

I just have to back up.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

I thought afterwards,

You know,

I thought,

Oh,

Yeah.

You know,

I thought afterwards with the comment I made,

And I thought,

Oh,

This could be misunderstood.

So,

Yeah,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

You know,

When people speak up to you,

Who do you hear the best when someone,

You know,

Say is giving you some home truths?

What kind of,

Who,

What kind of person do you hear the best?

Or what kind of delivery do you hear the best?

People that are telling their stories.

Okay.

Right.

Then what does Amma mean when she says speak up for Dharma?

Well,

You know,

Primasuta can't,

I don't want to put myself in a position where I'm like saying what Amma means.

It's,

There are some situations where you are honor bound to speak up,

Point to something that is our Dharmic.

And it,

You know,

Sometimes it can be done like,

You know,

That there's a practice this one does with moms in the supermarket and if they're fighting with their kids.

So,

I don't go up and say,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

You're being totally intolerant and mean with your child or aggressive.

I just come up and I validate the child's beauty.

I remind the mom of the child's beauty.

And it has worked every single time,

Including one where I told you the mother was punching the child.

And it all stops.

And really,

They were grateful.

So,

I,

You know,

Sweetie,

I actually feel like it was Primasuta's mistake to make such a sort of bold statement without more around it.

Do you see?

So,

I,

Because afterwards I thought,

Uh-oh.

Yep.

But it's something.

Pardon?

Sorry.

What?

That something like me would misunderstand it.

Oh,

Sweetie,

It isn't just you.

I saw,

Sweetie.

Um,

We,

You know,

When we speak,

We,

You know,

If we,

It's like setting boundaries with compassion or,

You know,

Talking about,

Like you said,

Your own experience.

But,

You know,

Families,

I mean,

You know,

I mean,

People,

People will do what they do right until they're ready.

But obviously,

If this has happened,

The universe creator,

Ama wished it.

Do you see?

It totally was meant to happen this way.

To help everybody.

To help you and to help them.

And,

You know,

The creator,

Ama,

Will give you your next step as you turn.

Your own heart will give you the next step.

You know?

Okay.

Thank you.

But listen for it.

Okay?

Yeah,

Listen.

And it may be something wild.

You know,

Who knows?

Like,

I don't know.

You can also do,

You know,

The practice of hono pono,

Which is speak to them energetically.

Yeah.

I think that's where you ask your soul to speak to their soul.

Yeah.

You know,

And whatever it is,

I mean,

Sometimes,

You know,

We can just send flowers and say,

I'm sorry.

Do you see what I mean?

Like,

If that is what you get,

If that comes from a true place,

Then it's good.

But if it's like coming from the ego wanting to,

You know,

I don't know.

Make sure,

Like,

See if whatever comes,

Is coming,

Is taking you into a deeper,

Truer place.

You know,

The next step forward on your journey.

Or maybe just having some space.

I don't know,

Sweetie.

Or,

You know,

You could,

I mean,

Sweetie,

I don't know.

But you could,

You know,

You could also say,

Well,

You know,

Sorry,

It was my fault or something.

I don't know.

Or like saying,

Like,

Sometimes with your,

You could even say,

With your brain difficulty,

That sometimes you just do this,

Whatever.

But make sure it is coming from the truth of you,

Like,

From your deeper truth.

Do you see that it's the next step on the journey that you're,

Yeah.

And Prema Sutta,

You know,

I'm going to be more careful with the way I speak.

It was a wake up call for me,

Really.

I thought,

Oh,

No.

Yeah.

Right.

So,

You see,

Prema Sutta is like,

I'm actually modeling it.

I'm modeling the next step,

Like this is Prema Sutta going.

Yeah,

I realized afterwards that that could be really misunderstood.

Okay.

Yeah.

And may it all just turn into a blessing.

Okay,

Good.

Thank you.

Yeah,

Is this.

How much does this help?

It does.

Thank you.

I like to just let it settle.

Yeah,

Just let it settle.

We're all bumbling.

Do you know?

The silence is very comforting.

Right.

That's what I feel you did is actually opened to more of the silence and peace.

And that's the most important thing.

And even this is,

You know,

You're not going to go in front of a firing squad.

Do you see?

We always think,

Oh,

No,

This is so terrible.

You know,

There's no firing squad.

It's just bumbling.

Right.

Go with our next step.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Many blessings,

Everyone.

Thank you.

Hey,

Prema Sutta.

It's Franca.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

I would like to share a story or something that happened to me in the last few weeks and days.

And yeah,

I had deepened my prayers to Amr the last weeks.

And when we had contact last time,

You were telling me to ask for more depth to become more to my going into myself.

And so this is what I did last week.

And I really asked for this deepening.

And so there was some situations created last week.

I kind of used to just being bumbling in my life and trying new things or different than before.

So you always say,

Well,

Just go trial and error on some things.

So I had the situation where I'm on kind of vacation from the kids.

So they were away for two weeks.

And I had time to work and meet friends and do some other things than usually.

So I planned this little vacation to meet a person I really like and special for me.

But when the time came up,

I felt this inside withholds I felt before.

And usually I didn't know or the other times I didn't really paid attention or tried to understand it.

But this time I had the feeling of,

Well,

Last time when I followed this,

I didn't feel really good afterwards.

So this time I stayed with this feeling and tried to get a deep sense for it and decided to stay in Berlin and not having this meeting.

And I realized that my mind was going really in this labyrinth and remembering your words,

Saying,

Well,

Then try to do nice things and pray.

And I had this sentence in my head a few weeks ago,

It started and it said,

Hold on tight during the right.

And it kind of was like,

I was seeing Amma's feet and I grabbed them and hold on tight to them because of this labyrinth in my head.

And I kind of deepened and ask for grace.

And underneath all of this,

I could sense a feeling of wanting to be loved and wanting to be held and safe.

And I opened to this feeling and just embraced it.

And all I got was a lot of love,

All this I could feel inside.

And this just was so amazing to being in this trial and error and then going the other way and having this deep feeling of,

Yeah,

Feeling good and safe and loved for some time.

And it just helped me to understand myself better on this insights that come up.

And usually I didn't listen to it.

And this time I just did it the other way.

And I just wanted to share this.

And what really helped was also writing the diary and keeping myself off this labyrinth in my head and just praying and singing bhajans.

And yeah,

It just felt like sharing this right now.

Yeah,

It's very beautiful.

I love the fact that,

You know,

That hold on tight for the ride that came up from you.

So this is what happens,

You guys,

The ladder upward will come from inside.

That is the most important thing.

And you sincerely,

I know this about you,

You sincerely wish to bond with the divine this lifetime.

So you decided to experiment and your,

But I really want to highlight this,

Your intent is to go deeper and bond with your divine.

So what you did took you there,

You see?

Okay.

So I just want to share this because somebody else could take what I said.

And if the intent,

Deeper intent wasn't there,

They would say,

Oh,

It doesn't work.

Hmm.

Okay.

So the things that you talked about,

The premise to say will support a journey that's lived with this deeper intent.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

Desires.

Okay.

We are love,

Right?

So all our desires for things,

For people,

Even experiences,

You know,

Like,

Holiday in Hawaii are,

They are just the happiness that these things give us is just a small reflection of the true joy and bliss of our true natures.

Okay.

So we look for love in another person,

But actually we are love.

Yeah.

And if the universe wants us with another person,

That will become very clear because sometimes their agreements,

Spiritual agreements to be with another person.

But if there's no agreement to be with that person,

Then that becomes clear.

Just through this process that you're doing this deepening,

How do you feel about what I just said?

I'm trying to put it into my life,

What you just said.

So it's like,

I'm going up in my head.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I felt this love for myself and I know that I don't need this from the outside.

I can give it myself inside.

Yeah.

Okay.

We're just going to wait for a bit because I can feel that there's an an uncertainty that you struggle with around.

I mean,

There's a level that on some levels,

You're like a monk,

Really.

You're a monk.

It would suit you to have like a little small room and,

You know,

To a life of prayer,

You know,

Kind of,

Yeah.

And there's part of you that's kind of like that.

And then the rest of the world is,

It's sort of,

Oh,

It interferes with this.

But as you go on,

Just as you develop.

Hold on.

It's very delicate.

It's very delicate here.

And I don't want to go into your garden with boots.

Okay.

There's kind of a misunderstanding at a very deep level.

It's like,

And over time,

You will unravel this.

It's everybody is God and everybody is you too.

But your intent on,

You know,

Building a life where,

You know,

Setting the foundations of your spiritual journey.

So,

You're doing foundation work.

And so,

You need time and space to do this.

Yeah.

Right.

And as this is done,

Just being with other people will become easier.

Like dealing with relationships will become easier.

Yeah.

I,

You know,

In my experience,

A lot of our troubles come to down to,

You know,

Bonding with our moms.

Because if our moms don't have their true self,

Then that's what we learn.

So,

We kind of,

We lock away our true soul energy.

And as the spiritual journey develops,

You just become more and more.

Separation decreases.

The feeling of separation,

The feeling of being threatened,

The feeling of,

That one can't show oneself and be loved.

All that stuff diminishes.

Yeah.

Sweetheart,

I'm giving you way too much information.

I just want to validate what you did.

And,

You know,

You're very good for experimenting.

Thanks.

That helps a lot.

Thank you.

Lizette,

Are you feeling,

Are you feeling okay?

Are you feeling a little,

How do you feel with Pramasutha speaking?

Are you feeling a little more locked up or freer or neutral or?

I feel neutral.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

You know,

This is,

Pramasutha speaks to you guys about what she did and what worked for her.

And this building the foundations can feel kind of lonely.

But,

You know,

If we don't have ourselves,

What kind of life do we have?

You know?

Yeah.

And remember,

The universe,

The creator Amma is running it.

So,

The outcome is already,

It's already taken place and you're just going to find out how it happens.

Yeah.

That's what you're finding out.

How the outcome of your life happens.

Right.

We don't really make decisions on a deeper level.

We discover what our soul has already chosen.

Okay.

Any person walking a really deep journey knows this feeling that you discover what's already happened,

That you're not really making decisions.

And at a more superficial level,

We make decisions.

Right.

I can feel that.

Yeah.

Okay.

You go.

That's what I'm feeling.

I'm not like doing decisions.

I'm just getting to know myself with all this,

What's happening.

Yeah.

So,

Yeah,

I can relate to that.

Okay,

Good.

Because on a really deep spiritual journey,

Our biggest work is kind of decoding our labyrinth and then finally allowing it to dissolve.

And that is our work.

And so,

Relationships are all part of that in that they help us decode our labyrinth or sometimes moving away from relationships.

Like who,

Whatever it is,

Whatever you have already chosen,

Whatever your soul's already chosen,

Yeah,

You'll just be shown.

And you will feel good as you follow this and you will feel stressed when you get caught in the labyrinth.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Okay.

I feel like you're on the verge of coming into a much bigger clarity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you feel that?

Yes.

Okay,

Good.

That's the way this work should work is what I say should just confirm what you already know.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

That's very good.

You know,

I want to say,

Right?

No,

I just,

With this trial and error,

I did,

I exactly had this feeling of,

Okay,

The first time I did it this way and didn't feel good at all.

And the other time I did it the other way.

And it just made me so full of bliss and love afterwards,

All this labyrinth,

But then stepping out of it.

So,

This is why I can relate to what you're saying.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Exactly.

That is the process over and over.

And I just want to say,

You know,

Amma talks about that we have to experiment with our own lives.

Like,

Like a scientist who,

Who's testing to see what,

What kills a disease.

And so he,

He gives himself the disease to see if it will.

Yeah,

You put your whole life on the line,

And it can feel very uncertain.

And don't force this.

You have to be,

You have to come to a point of strength to do it.

But it is what works.

And but it is also the most challenging one.

Because fear can come up.

Like the scientist is like,

Well,

Maybe I'm gonna die.

And you know,

The ego will always give you those feelings.

Oh,

You'll die if you do this.

It's like the opposite,

You'll live.

Right.

You know,

Sometimes if the ego is up,

One doesn't understand what the teacher is saying.

But you know,

Over time,

Hopefully,

There should be proof that the teachers,

That you get enough experience of the teacher validating your inner your inner experience and helping you out of the ego.

That,

You know,

As that occurs,

You get more and more experience that the teacher actually the input from the teacher does help,

Then trust builds.

But actually,

It's what's most important is you developing the trust of your own inner data.

You guys,

Teachers just help.

And our,

Our ladders come from inside us often,

We just get a feeling,

We'll just get something like,

Just that,

You know,

Hold on tight or holding on to Amma's feet.

Prama Sutta did that a lot.

And we know that feet are understanding.

So it makes so much sense about the whole,

You're holding on to the teacher's understanding,

Which is inside you to you holding on to that.

And,

And that will help you all these things to be solved,

And help you through insecurities.

Yeah,

The bigger awareness,

It's,

It's very beautiful.

When it,

When it come,

It will help.

It will help.

Thank you.

It's Aaron.

Aaron,

Sweet one,

How are you?

I am curious.

What I think I'm bumping up against now is resentment.

So I'm working through your book.

And what I do is I read a page,

And then I go to the back and just let my finger fall somewhere and resentment keeps coming up.

Darn it.

And I,

You know,

I pull runes and the runes have been saying to let go gladly and step into the emptiness and the loss and so I feel I feel the right movement.

I have had a tremendous amount of anxiety.

I just roll out of bed and have it.

It feels and as I say that the last few days,

Like yesterday felt better.

So it feels like I'm,

I'm moving through but that's,

That's what I'm noticing.

Okay,

So,

You know,

Resentment is,

You know,

Like I've talked about the two dog houses that stop us from deepening we get caught in resentment or self pity.

We can spend our lives there.

Okay,

That sounds familiar.

It does,

Doesn't it?

Yes.

Yeah,

I know.

And it stops particularly women from tapping into our goddess energy from tapping into this divine feminine,

Which solves in my experience is just like,

You know,

It's like water to the desert when we tap into it.

Okay.

Okay,

Yeah.

So just,

Just be here.

So,

The anxiety,

You know,

The ego often sends anxiety with,

Oh,

She's,

She's moving towards the soul energy,

You know?

Oh,

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

You just,

You know,

Premises walk through incredible anxiety and my deepening and so,

And it's,

If we just with it,

Like you said,

It will actually let go finally,

Which you said you were feeling better today or better in the last few days.

Yeah.

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

So it's,

It's,

It's very beautiful.

You're speaking.

Yeah.

It's,

It's like,

I just feeling you being surrounded by this unconditional love and almost being becoming willing to let it in.

Right.

There's no rush.

There's no rush.

There's,

You know,

Within you,

Aaron,

Is an unbelievable silence.

Beyond the resentment,

And all the,

The anger and the grief,

The fear and grief in it.

Beyond that is just an incredible silence of knowing of understanding of infinite compassion,

And it's in you.

Right?

It's in you.

It's,

This is the understanding.

It's,

It's in you.

It's not in another person or in a picture.

Well,

It is,

But the bottom line is it's in you.

That's why you've got your whole universe.

That's why you're in your whole universe,

Because you are made out of love.

You are this eternal being.

So how do you feel while I'm saying this?

Oh,

There's just tremendous warmth,

Like my whole body.

Right.

Okay.

Now listen,

This warm is yourselves opening to the love within you,

Yourselves opening to the love coming from Pramasutra to you,

And the love within you,

And the love of all the Satsang members for you.

Like you're,

You're having a physical experience of this opening.

Okay.

This is pay dirt.

This is embodiment work.

This is what helps us embody our soul energy.

You're doing it.

As soon as,

You know,

And this is funny,

It's kind of like,

There's a feeling of,

You know,

And this is what happens,

You know,

Pramasutra spells it out for you and for everybody.

And then I can feel in your unconscious,

You're going,

Okay,

We better stop this now before it gets out of hand.

It's like,

You know,

And,

You know,

This is what happens.

And you just observe it,

Because our psyches,

They will try to stabilize things,

You know,

They don't want the boat being rocked too much.

We can do these small steps until we learn more and more,

You see,

Till we get,

We get our sea legs,

You get able to make bigger and bigger jumps.

But in this beginning foundation level,

Air and gentleness is required,

Because it's a new baby,

The new baby of our understanding.

Okay,

Good.

Okay.

So how do you feel right now?

I feel loved.

Right.

Grounded.

Okay.

Great.

Yeah,

Slam dunk.

And I saw in your spine,

This opening to light,

Like a real light.

So you may get the experience of a kundalini coming up your spine after this.

This is how we embody you guys,

We get our kundalini at the bottom of our spine gets freed up and starts rising.

And it starts clearing our complexes.

Ah,

Yeah.

But it will also,

Then we have to,

We will experiencing these challenges in our outer world.

So you've got to keep remembering,

This is what happens when your kundalini rises,

You get like,

You know,

You get,

You get your lessons in that outside world.

But the whole point of the satsangs,

And,

And this is,

Is to keep,

Keep you plugged into the generator of your soul energy to keep reminding you of the truth,

And that it is a safe process.

It's way safer to learn how to grow spiritually,

Than to stay locked up in the old stuff.

And it's safer because the universe wants us to grow.

So if you're going with it,

The universe takes care of you,

Particularly.

How do you feel right now?

I feel great.

And it reminds me,

And I sent you an email about this earlier this week,

I had a leg that my left leg was going,

Not numb,

But I felt a weird sensation.

And normally,

I would start to panic,

Think I would need an MRI.

And I could hear your voice just say,

Hmm,

Okay,

Well,

That's your body sending you the message.

What's the message?

Just get quiet.

And your email was very helpful.

So I'm so grateful to be able to understand that and learn more about it.

Yeah.

Of course,

Lifted.

Of course.

Yeah,

I mean,

I feel so sorry for the people in the doctor's offices,

You know,

With,

And they've got a kundalini thing going and,

And I feel sorry for the doctors too,

Because they'll go like,

We can't find anything.

Yeah.

Good.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Those both ways,

Sweet one,

Both ways.

Yeah.

Right.

The growth potential feels enormous to me,

With the way things are going,

Like I'm like,

It's wonderful.

This is all the understandings that took Premasudha years.

And this was Premasudha's dream to be able to share it.

And it's all like,

I'm just turning up the,

You know,

It's not Premasudha.

It's,

But it's great to be able to flow along with it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

Can I just chime in?

This is Bhavani.

Erin,

I love your innocence.

It is so sweet.

Really so sweet.

Thank you.

If we can recognize it in another,

It's in us.

Especially if we allow it,

You know,

We have,

We go like,

We ask for our innocence to surface more and more.

Yeah.

And it's also lovely to,

You know,

Reaffirm each other,

Just like you did,

Bhavani.

It's fantastic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

We're the shock of,

Oh,

We're loved.

We can be loved.

We're all okay.

I know.

Believe me,

Premasudha knows this.

I get it.

Yeah.

It's beautiful.

And also remember,

You know,

Premasudha is bumbling into this,

Like this is,

You know,

This teaching,

It's like it bumbling.

So,

You know,

Just remember that too.

But,

You know,

It's,

It's,

It's Premasuddha's learning curve.

It's like with,

When I said about,

You know,

Okay,

Speak up with your people around.

It's like,

I,

I needed to put more words to,

To that.

Okay.

More,

A bigger explanation of it.

So,

You know,

I just want to put that as a,

Yeah.

But love is carrying us all.

Hi,

Premasudha.

It's Gerald.

How are you?

In general,

Good,

But in a very confusing time,

I have to say.

Right.

Yeah.

I felt to,

To,

To speak because I felt really grateful for those who spoke before me.

And I feel there's some common threads that really helped me and kind of encouraged me.

I have the confidence that everything is going as planned,

If you can say this.

But there's really this kind of,

Well,

I'll give you an example.

So if you remember,

I'm studying sound healing.

And I had a session.

I gave a session on Thursday.

And the session was in the morning.

And I haven't been feeling physically great,

Or energetically quite chaotic,

Unpredictable for it goes from day to day.

So it was a mixed bag.

I really had no idea what I was going to get that day.

And then I went into the session.

And everything changed.

And during that session,

I really felt no interference from my mind,

Or very minimal.

And the person that I'm,

That I'm following is just showering me with,

Or I'm getting all this validation from the universe that it's like,

Keep going,

Keep doing it.

And without getting into too many details,

For the rest of the day,

I was in a state that I was not really used to,

Or I just haven't felt in a long time,

Maybe.

And I felt really,

Really light,

And a sense of peace and calmness.

And I was just incapable of letting my mind,

Or letting,

Or being rushed,

Or being disturbed in any way,

Shape,

Or form.

And then,

You know,

I'll have something like the day after where,

You know,

It's not like that at all.

And I'm met with a lot of restlessness.

To the point of being very tired and sick of the spiritual journey.

And not that I'm going to turn my back on it.

It's not like that.

It's more like,

Oh,

Can I just have a break?

You know,

I also need to take a break from this.

It's getting a bit too,

Like so many practices,

And this and that.

And I'm not really stretching myself thin with the spiritual journey and my practices,

But it's just everything else in life that I'm going through,

Aside from this.

So I think it just becomes very overwhelming and very.

.

.

Okay,

A couple of things.

Okay.

Part of the problem is,

You said,

Just that last comment,

You said,

You know,

You're kind of fine with the spiritual journey,

But it's all this other stuff.

It's like there isn't anything else but your spiritual journey.

Okay?

Like,

There is no split.

Lots of people are running that they've got two worlds.

That is a split,

You guys.

It'll be a split in your heart,

And it will be a split in your base chakra.

Now that,

You know,

That understanding,

You know,

It will need to be healed to make real progress.

The other thing is that being tired of the spiritual journey,

That feeling of being tired,

Is actually a good thing.

It actually happens.

It tends to happen in my experience,

In Pramasutra's experience.

It happened before a deeper embodying of my true nature,

Where I was moving out of my head about the journey,

And I was actually shifting into my heart.

And I was losing energy to keep the old way that I was doing this spiritual journey going.

Okay?

And that was what I was getting tired of.

I couldn't do it like that anymore.

I had to become,

You know,

Just Janet,

In the sense,

Or just Pramasutra,

Just a person,

Living my life in a way where I wish to tap into truth.

It happened as I was coming out of this religiosity.

Okay?

So,

The missing ingredient for you is this,

And it's common,

And it may be harder for males.

I don't know.

For this,

You know,

We talked about the little guy within you,

Okay,

Who didn't feel mad,

And you got stuck in fear.

And your journey,

A lot of your journey so far,

Has been that child being stuck in fear,

Going into religiosity.

And it was like where you thought the journey was,

Just religiosity.

Really,

When I first met you,

It was religiosity in spades.

And my,

I want to say your,

I'm getting the word acclaimed,

I don't know why,

But it's like my,

The reason you should be acclaimed,

I guess,

I'll just go with this,

Is the extent of the transformation that I've seen.

Right.

But you still,

Part of you doesn't want to get the poetry of it.

You're okay with the nuts and bolts,

But actually,

Truth comes in like a poem.

Like,

Your child self is like a poem.

It's that,

You know,

It's the experience of the opposites,

Union of the opposites,

Poems bring in so many different threads.

It's all of that.

Your whole life is way,

In a way,

A poem of the desire to live in devotion to the creator.

And it's the loving of yourself that is the problem.

You don't know how to do it.

Like,

You've got high standards,

You're really strong in so many ways,

But this opening to love this little guy,

And to,

You know,

Go with him through his fear to a deeper trust.

Go with him through his fear to the true knowledge and true expansion,

True embodiment of the divine,

Which is true devotion.

Any other thing is a little bit less.

You have to embody it.

And Premasiddha's message to you so strongly is,

You deserve it.

You've earned it.

You are doing wonderful spiritual work.

You're on track,

Man.

You just have trouble embracing your humanity.

Right.

Right.

I know.

I know.

And I so get your humanity.

Big hug.

Yeah.

And you see,

That is finally the difference between the seeker and the person,

The person who achieves spiritual mastery.

The person who achieves spiritual mastery fully accepts their humanity,

Because it is the soul that brings us into accepting our humanity,

Because our soul knows that's the gig here.

Right.

Right.

And,

You know,

It's not so hard.

Once you get it,

And I feel you're getting it as we're talking,

Really,

But you just accept your humanity.

I mean,

Premasiddha,

This is what Premasiddha did.

You know,

Like,

I remember once the door opened.

I mean,

Somebody knocked the door open,

And they kind of looked at me funny.

And then,

I don't know,

They're delivering something.

And I closed the door,

And I looked,

And I'd spilled food down my front.

I had this food,

And this is why they looked at me.

And I thought to myself,

Well,

I can spend like two weeks feeling bad about this,

Or just go meh.

Meh.

Who cares?

Meh.

Just like that.

Meh.

Really.

I spill food on myself constantly.

That's what's.

.

.

This is often my trouble wearing white,

You know.

Yeah.

And some people,

You know,

My brother could play in the garden all day,

And he would come back incredibly just clean and tidy.

I play in the garden in 10 minutes.

I've got dirt under my fingernails.

Right.

You're allowed to be human.

So,

How does this click in,

Or how are you feeling?

I think this ties in quite nicely,

Because I think part of the nuance behind my question was part of this restlessness is really this buzzing feeling inside to just go out and explore,

And just like sit in sometimes with the ordinariness of being human,

And not so much it putting so much or this emphasis on.

.

.

I still have this religiosity that you mentioned.

I think I still have this very omitment kind of mind to it,

And very side to it,

That it kind of boomerangs,

And I just want to balance it with just,

You know,

Enjoying life,

And having fun,

And being in the moment.

Yeah.

And I think the nuance with that is that sometimes I'm a little bit confused and thinking,

And again,

Exactly thinking,

Oh,

Is this my mind just trying to bring myself back to the order?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Don't go too far.

Don't go,

You know,

Don't go too much into or,

You know,

Your spiritual duty,

If you want to use that word.

Yeah,

I think,

Though you're talking from the split,

I think you're going to have to have an encounter with how cut and dried your intellect is.

It's cut and dried,

And that is what saps your ability to experience life in a richer,

Juicier way.

And you may have a very uncomfortable time for a few weeks,

Whenever you're ready to do this,

Experiencing it.

I'm telling you this because this is what Prama Sutta would happen with Prama Sutta.

I would,

You know,

Go along and having,

You know,

And I would bump up with my very,

I don't know,

Virgo,

Very Virgo criticism,

Intellect,

Critical,

Rigid,

You know,

Judging to the nth degree,

Like it was really,

It was horrifying.

And I would see this up close and personal,

I'd walk around in it,

I pray,

I'd feel the heaviness in my body,

I'd be,

You know,

Shattered by it.

And I came up out of it,

Freer,

More united,

More myself.

You see,

Sometimes we want enlightenment,

And we want to,

Our egos want to avoid it.

So we keep boxing things,

Rather than actually fully experience how horrifying it is,

How much our intellect runs our lives.

There's no rush.

It doesn't have to,

I mean,

This work,

I mean,

My wish is to make these periods softer for people,

Shorter,

Softer.

Maybe you can even get it through Prama Sutta's words,

I don't know,

You know.

Or maybe have a couple of sleepless nights where you unite more.

Or you could ask,

Where does this split come from?

This splits the spiritual journey from life.

Because if there's any separation at all,

You're split inside yourself.

I feel like,

Energetically,

You're like a little boy,

And I'm coming on too strong,

Like a mom who's coming on too strong,

And maybe that's what you had as a little kid.

Absolutely.

Right.

You see,

This is one of the things with teaching,

Is I will,

The input will end up coming in a way that will fit what happened with your mom,

Particularly,

Or your dad,

And it's to realize that this happens as a clearing.

With Abraham's input,

I registered it like through the lens of my father.

I had to clear that before I could hear him properly,

Before I could see how much he loved me.

There's no rush on this.

There's no rush at all,

At all.

The most important thing is that you feel loved and understood.

That is,

You guys,

That's actually the only thing that works.

Yes.

You get how much your teacher loves and understands you,

And as you get that,

We feel safe enough to let our ego dissolve.

There's no rush or demand or anything.

It's just,

This is what happened with me and Amma.

As I got how much she loved me,

I just let go of it all.

Yeah.

I feel you,

It's like your own intellect,

You don't know how to digest it.

You don't know how to realize that your whole experience of life is coming from your own intellect.

I'm seeing the boxes and straight lines,

And it's wonderful masculine quality to it.

It's wonderful.

It's wonderful.

I don't want to make you wrong.

Listen,

It's wonderful.

It's beautiful.

It's just a little too heavy.

It's just a little too,

Yeah.

It's like there's a woman in you too who needs her time in the sun.

She needs to be heard and understood.

She definitely does.

Yeah.

Right.

When we have,

When our moms have been overwhelming,

It's harder,

But I know you can do it.

I know you can do it.

I'm not worried about you,

Man.

I'm not worried.

The level that you want truth is so strong that it would be very difficult for you to get stuck along the way.

Just keep going.

Just keep going.

Patience.

Yeah.

I see some light coming in behind your intellect now.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know if you feel it or not,

But it's happening on a very subtle level.

It doesn't matter if you feel it.

Yes,

A little bit.

I feel a little small warmth somewhere in my own.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's your soul energy.

It's very beautiful.

Yeah.

I had this clash between my soul and my very heavy intellect.

Yeah.

That was created by those experiences with my dad,

Right?

Where he gives me a scythe.

I know where it came from,

But there were other lives before that.

The sweet one.

Premasiddha has enormous faith in you,

So just keep going.

Thank you so much.

Truly,

Thank you so much.

It's important to hear from you.

It's a very human,

Bumbling journey.

It's just the guy.

Remember,

I've talked about building the houses and the little huts.

The teacher says,

Build a hut,

And then comes by and goes,

Oh,

That's terrible.

Do it again.

It was the guy who stayed.

He was the only student left.

For the 70th time,

He built his hut.

He didn't care what his teacher said.

He was just so in the moment,

So untrue.

He was just building this hut with total concentration.

The teacher comes by and goes,

Yeah,

Okay,

You've done it.

Good.

The student didn't even care by that time because the student was so lodged in truth.

That's what it's like.

Just keep going to the last hut.

That's it.

Premasiddha used to,

I would feel this.

I would go along and I'd have an understanding,

And then this understanding would collapse.

Then I'd have to rebuild it in a bigger,

Deeper way.

I realized these were my huts that I was building on the inside.

Do you get it?

Yeah.

The number three hut.

Oh,

I got it.

I'm almost enlightened.

No.

Okay.

Start again.

The fourth hut.

Premasiddha just kept going to the 70th hut.

Really.

Right.

That's it.

Okay,

Good.

It's very beautiful.

Thanks,

Premasiddha.

Thank you.

I see your two faces.

That's so cute.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hi,

Premasiddha.

It's Susan.

Sweet one.

How are you?

Hi.

I just wanted to say hi.

I want to say hi.

Whenever I speak in satsang,

I feel like,

Oh,

There's a million directions I could take.

It would be.

I've been feeling really good and really,

Really happy.

I'm so grateful for the satsang and for you.

Things around my work situation have changed completely,

Dramatically.

It's insane.

Amma is with me and things are opening up and opportunities are coming.

I think that maybe I wanted to speak because I could relate to Gerald and feeling the split between my spiritual life being and then life.

I've been just feeling so exhausted and nauseous for the last couple of weeks.

I just thought maybe it was,

You know,

I have a lot of external,

Like I'm building a new business and there's a lot.

It's like giving birth.

But then sometimes I get in that productivity mode and then like I forget I'm a spiritual being.

And then I have to be reminded.

I don't know.

It's like,

I don't know if it's resistance or what.

But yeah,

A lot of like nausea and stuff.

Or is it just fear?

I don't know.

And I swing back and forth between feeling completely held and grateful and then feeling completely nauseous.

Right.

Yeah.

I can feel how much your energy's lightened since you first started.

So,

You know.

Oh,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Great change.

So I just want to validate that like,

It's your progress.

Yeah.

Right.

It's to be,

You know,

A badge of honor to give to you.

You see,

You know.

Thank you.

The way we validate our kids,

You know,

When they tie up their shoes or whatever,

We go,

Good job.

Yeah.

Right.

They do the next step.

So that's what I want to do is the ground,

Put the ground under your feet of you are on track.

Right.

The thing is,

Yeah,

You are on the journey.

And some of you don't realize that the whole,

Your whole existence is being run by your soul.

And it's just the ego that thinks anything else.

Yeah.

So,

And sometimes you guys,

You're in situations where your ego is going to say,

Well,

Don't go into this spiritual stuff too much,

Because you might lose,

You'll lose sight of the bottom line.

Right.

Okay.

And in a way,

It is that kind of thing that dooms us to failure over time.

Do you see what I mean?

As long as we're running that stuff,

The universe will keep showing us that anything other than our soul is an illusion.

It'll show us that everything can be done in the highest good way,

Including earning your living.

Okay.

This needs to get through to your heart.

I can feel it.

You can earn your living in a highest good way.

Every morning,

Just go,

What's my highest good?

Do your business from the highest good approach,

Because the highest good will be also paying your bills.

Do you understand?

We think with the spiritual journey,

We're not going to be able to pay our bills.

It's the opposite.

I had far more trouble paying my bills before I woke up.

Okay.

You need to be very gently cared for on this journey by Prama Sutta.

Do you understand?

You need great gentleness along with truth.

I particularly want to say,

Don't we women know about this?

This is what works the best with us and the guys too.

Although sometimes Prama Sutta has to whack,

But I want to come back to you,

This great gentleness.

Do you know what nausea means in the transcendent body approach?

I believe it's resistance to embodying your soul.

I believe I read that in your book.

Right.

Yeah.

Resistance bracing your divine self.

You guys,

This is beautiful.

This is a gift to the whole satsang.

Do you understand that somebody who's running a split would read that book and say that the nausea was resistance to embodying your divinity?

When my work is that if you feel the nausea,

You are clearing resistance already.

You already have a big go ahead there.

Notice that you said that the nausea,

The way you were talking to me,

It was like the nausea is bad.

The nausea is your ticket to unifying,

To coming into truth and the fatigue will be,

You know,

It'll either be that you're letting go of some defenses until you're tired or it will be denial.

So you can ask what the denial is and ask it to clear as gently and as easily as possible.

Okay.

I want to come back to Premasuddha's life.

There was a time where I was writing poetry and every time I'd sit down to write a poem,

I would start feeling this incredible fatigue.

And this went on for a week and I finally went,

Okay,

What is this?

What is it makes me go to sleep rather than write this poetry that I would want to do?

And this whole door opened for Premasuddha on denial of all the stuff that I was denying that made me want to go to sleep.

And I stopped feeling tired when I wrote poetry.

Okay.

Now this is how seamless it can be.

Okay.

You feel there's something you feel stuck or like that you're hiding behind a cardboard cutout right now.

That's what I feel.

There's a cardboard cutout and Susan's right behind and Premasuddha is coming and going.

The cardboard cutoff is gone and here's Susan.

Here's beautiful Susan.

But I don't know if she's ready yet.

So how do you feel right now?

Honest,

Honest,

Honest.

I feel good and I feel like you helped me move it into my heart.

The belief in myself and my path.

Do you know what I mean?

I feel like the split is coming together and it's moving down to like real.

And I'm really grateful that it's a cardboard cutout and it's not a stone wall.

That's it.

It's just a cardboard cutout.

Yeah.

That's who you thought you were.

Yeah.

And way bigger.

And also there's the conditioning of the little girl in there.

That's why it was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You see,

You guys,

Sometimes,

You know,

Susan,

You would have done a lot of work to be able to be so ready that you that it's just a cardboard cutout.

You see,

Sometimes we're doing a lot of work and life isn't that pleasant,

But we're actually moving into truth in a really useful way.

Like,

I feel it,

I feel it and I see it in my life,

Like it's manifesting all around me.

And yeah,

Thank you.

And I just.

Yeah,

I mean,

Thank you.

I'm glad I came forward.

I'm glad you did,

Too.

You need more gentleness here.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

You need more gentleness.

And,

You know,

Remember,

The universe is taking care of you.

So things can,

You know.

You need kind of more time and space,

Like the way with the demands of your business and how you're thinking,

It's like there's not enough time and space for you to take care of your journey.

So you just keep taking this to keep taking this to the creator to show you how to do things more organically.

Yeah.

Right.

To learn how to do it all.

And be open to learn how to do that,

Like do like what Frank was talking about was like using experiment experiment with what works.

Like sometimes taking a morning off makes you productive for the whole day.

Yes.

Yeah.

Right.

Experiment and know that and trust the process like and email me if you've got concerns like,

You know,

Just I'm behind you on this.

I'm starting to feel more integrated,

Like all of it.

Right now,

In this moment,

You mean,

Or in my life.

And now,

Like,

You've given me clarity around that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're more.

Yeah.

And if you listen to the question and answer afterwards,

Listen to this afterwards,

It will click in more.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

You guys,

Especially if you ask a question,

Listen to the response after because you will hear echoes of things that you did not get in the direct experience of Right.

Funny.

I feel withhold almost all over the whole group over this.

And for premise,

It is just so basic,

You guys,

You guys,

Be sincere about learning,

Like,

Follow this.

Okay,

Just listen again.

It'll take five minutes.

It's the same withhold,

I feel sometimes when I say write in your journals,

And it's like,

Yeah,

We want enlightenment,

But we don't want to do what you say.

Okay,

It's okay.

It's okay.

Yeah.

I admit that when I listened to myself in the recording,

I'm a little bit horrified at first.

Like,

Sometimes I'll put them on,

I don't know I'm on it.

And then all of a sudden,

Oh,

My God,

That's me.

That's my withhold.

It's like,

Oh,

You know,

Like my bumbling humanity.

And then it's okay.

But yeah,

Yeah,

Because I mean,

I mean,

We're all bumbling.

Yeah,

You know,

Right.

We all have to get over ourselves.

You know,

We all have to learn to see your own beauty.

So don't let the your ego obstruct us.

You know,

When I first started speaking in these YouTubes,

I had real trouble,

I felt like,

Oh,

I'm too old,

Nobody's gonna listen,

You know,

Whatever.

And I just kept going.

We all do this.

Yeah.

Even Amma said once that before she spoke to I don't know,

It was United Nations or something really big.

She got a dry mouth.

That's Amma.

Right.

And how beautiful that she said that.

I mean,

I'm like,

Thank you,

Amma.

It just helps.

It helps accept our humanity.

Yeah.

Right.

And remember,

There's,

I want to say there's no demand coming from premasutra.

Like from you,

You just need.

You're very self motivated.

So it's you just need like hugs and reassurance a lot.

I mean,

That's a lot of what I'm just giving you.

Yeah.

Because that's what you need.

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

Okay.

That really helped.

For some reason,

I don't know why.

You remind me to do it for myself.

You guys,

Do it for yourselves,

Please.

Where we get into trouble with I get into trouble with people is when they're like,

Holding on to premasutra like a physical person and trying to please me like their mom.

And it's just right.

Right.

That's it.

That's it.

This work is to help you bond with your own souls.

So along the way,

I can seem like your mom.

It's all good.

It's all good.

And sometimes repairs in your psyches takes place.

It's like you start clearing your experience of your mom.

It's like it's actually a lifting of the patterning that got set in our relationship with our moms.

Right.

To the realization that premasutra is just speaking from her soul and helping to midwife you into your souls so that you can live from there.

And you know,

Things with your mom will come up with premasutra.

But just remind yourself,

It's way more than that.

It's the journey,

You know,

We're so human.

So we actually need to be mothered into this.

And most of our experiences with our moms,

We're not well bonded.

So this is the healing.

And this is why it can get messy sometimes with premasutra with people holding on to tightly.

But I get it.

And it's just a step on the way.

It's nothing personal.

It's just,

It's all good.

Just keep going.

Just keep going.

And premasutra will,

I believe in you guys.

Truly.

Right.

Yeah.

Believe in you.

It's effortless because you're infinite beings.

So I mean,

Really,

Like,

What's there not to believe in?

It's just to reassure you and help make it safe for you to come into truth.

Just noticing your withholds,

Noticing your fears,

That all helps.

Just keep giving it over.

You know,

You know,

You're on the right track when you have moments of incredible peace,

Or moments of incredible light,

Or you're finding that you're even a little more peaceful,

A little more generous,

A little more less defended,

Little less defended,

A little more,

You know,

Compassionate,

And forgiving of yourself.

And others.

You know,

This is your data.

And,

You know,

The data gets stronger and stronger.

And then we might walk through a storm when we're climbing the mountain,

We might be faced with like a sheer face,

We're holding on to a ledge,

We there's a storm,

And we were there all night.

And we,

We think,

Oh,

It's all a waste.

I've never,

I've never made any progress.

It's all a mess.

And then in the morning,

When the storm clears,

You see that you are just four inches below the most beautiful mountain plateau that you can just simply climb up.

There you are.

Life is good.

And you start seeing all the wonderful ways that the universe has supported you,

The Dharma supported you,

The Creator supported you during your life,

And how safe you are,

And how everything always worked out.

Yeah,

And you go,

What's so hard about the journey?

Anybody could do it.

What's the problem?

Why are people so scared?

And why are they,

You know,

And then you start climbing again.

Yeah,

And maybe you slip and fall.

But when you slip and fall,

The angels come and they pick you up.

Yeah,

You get picked up.

You get kissed better.

And you start again.

And the important thing is,

If you fall or,

You know,

Get discouraged,

You know,

Ask to be brought through it quickly.

I'll tell you sort of a story,

A sort of a sad story.

There's a guy here in the building who went to India when he was about 22.

And he had an opening with a teacher,

And the opening went wrong.

And this can happen,

Especially with very young people.

And I don't know about the quality of the teacher,

But maybe he was a good teacher.

But anyway,

This guy returned from India feeling like worse,

Energetically worse.

So,

And it was a very traditional teaching and very male oriented.

So,

There wasn't a lot of TLC for him,

In a way.

And it was way back,

You know,

He's an old guy,

He's like 80,

85.

So,

This was really years ago.

And we worked together.

And I spoke about all this.

And I said,

Look,

You just,

You just,

You just got stuck,

You got stuck behind this,

Your crown chakra.

And you,

There was a block in your crown chakra,

And it stopped your progress.

And that's why it just went that way.

But it's all healable.

And he was very happy.

And,

You know,

Peaceful.

And when I bumped into him in the hall later,

He'd gone back into,

Oh,

It's just not possible for me to grow.

It's just not possible.

It's like all the 60 years that he'd focused on how the opening had gone wrong.

It was,

It was,

You know,

He was like,

Forever barred from knowing God.

And he,

He refused the opening into truth,

You know,

He was just,

He had done that so many times,

He just couldn't get past it.

You guys,

There's never,

I want this to really ring in,

There's nothing ever stopping us from moving into truth.

There's nothing except our own imagination or blocks from other lives that we can just move through.

It's not you that moves through it,

It's your soul will take you through them if you allow it.

Right.

Now,

When I saw this man again,

He had relaxed more.

And he seemed more at peace with himself.

And he was walking with a more sprightly step.

And I thought to myself,

Maybe he,

He got it anyway,

In a way that he kind of made the shift,

Even though he doesn't.

He doesn't get it with his head what he's done.

It's like the woman here who looked 10 years younger.

It's like,

We can sometimes with people,

They,

Yeah.

So,

My feeling is he,

His soul,

That it's coming in gradually for him,

But I just wanted to spell out that.

Watch what you're thinking,

Because the more years that you're thinking in a certain way,

The more rapid it gets.

So,

The more you can just even observe your thoughts,

Just the act of observing them brings,

It helps neutralize their power.

Right.

Yeah.

A journey,

You know.

Yeah.

You know,

As long as we're on the earth,

We're learning.

Just let yourselves be,

You know,

Keep in mind what Pramasiddha says,

You know.

Compassion to yourself.

Endless compassion,

Please.

Endless,

Endless compassion for selves.

Yeah.

And,

Yeah.

And,

Keep being opening to understand yourselves,

Because without self-understanding,

It's hard to really get high on the mountain.

You have to understand yourself.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

I feel you guys got that,

Because that has been what's stopping some of you,

Is this don't get how important it is to understand yourself.

You think that it's like,

You know,

Tell me the rules and I'll play the game.

Well,

Self-understanding,

Self-compassion,

Turn to the divine.

Yeah.

It's so adorable.

Oh,

My goodness.

All right.

Last call.

Last call.

See you tomorrow,

Some of you.

It's so dear.