Women Honouring Their Hearts And Wisdom

Let's start again with calling for the Creator's grace,

For Amma's grace.

Yeah,

We need it so much and it is everywhere.

It's everywhere.

And it's available to you.

We live in it.

It's like the air that we breathe.

But we're not aware of it just because it's there.

It's like a fish in the ocean.

It doesn't realize that it's swimming through water because it's just there.

Yeah,

But hopefully with these satsangs,

Your bodies will be recalibrated.

With your bodies and minds.

Well,

They will be.

It's not hopefully.

They will be recalibrated to be able to receive the grace.

Because the secret is,

You receive grace the more you are just open to the idea that something beyond you is running the show.

And the more that you have a pure mind,

You know that you're not drilling yourself with negative judgmental thoughts about others or yourself.

Those make it hard to receive grace.

Yeah.

So may that give you extra oomph to just keep your minds up and to,

You know,

Pull back when the negative thoughts start.

Just don't play there.

You know,

Think to yourself,

Hey,

This playground is a smelly playground.

Who wants to play in it?

Yeah.

And when we,

You know,

When we go into the negative about others,

We just,

What we're doing is we're inviting a big blast of negativity to ourselves because that's what will happen.

Whatever we send out comes back.

Yeah,

But patience with yourself,

You guys.

You know,

We don't know till we know.

When I look back at Pramasutra,

You know,

Virgo,

You know,

Some of you are Virgos and,

You know,

The criticism of others I would do,

You know,

So just,

But still.

Yeah.

Just want a quick comment to Trilla Chan.

You were,

You know,

You mentioned in your sleep.

So I realized that I could put a note into Amma's little letterbox by her door.

I can put in a note asking her to help you.

The other thing,

And I will do that.

Okay,

In the next,

She's away till tomorrow,

But I'll do that next couple of days.

The other thing I was going to say to you is,

I always think lack of sleep,

When we can't sleep,

It's like the psyche's on red alert.

It's like a siren blaring,

Danger,

Danger.

Don't surrender,

Don't relax,

Stay up out of the unconscious,

Don't deepen.

I would go through periods of intense sleeplessness every time just before a major surrender.

Yeah,

So what I did,

Finally,

Was I just got,

I just took them as nights of meditation.

Do you know?

Yeah,

You just put up with it,

Embrace it.

Night of meditation.

Sufis,

The night time is the university of the Sufi.

Our thoughts go round and round,

We get so disgusted that sometimes we just surrender.

Just there,

And at night time with our thoughts,

We see in stark relief what we're thinking,

You know?

Yeah,

It's good.

It's the university of the Sufi.

It's just,

You know,

It's kind of lonesome,

And it's hard work,

And you feel kind of weird all day,

But,

You know,

It's just kind of a given.

I mean,

Part of the good training for the spiritual journey is motherhood,

Because with motherhood,

Especially when the kids are little,

You just have to suck it up and kind of,

You know,

Put up with sleeplessness.

You know,

You just put up with so much that,

Really,

Afterwards,

Women tend to just go,

You know,

With difficulty,

They're more likely to just go,

Meh,

Like I do,

Meh.

Yeah.

So,

But I feel for you,

And may it live soon,

Maybe with this note to Amao that you've written to her,

But I will also put a note.

Yeah,

And I know she's behind this work,

So,

You know,

Yeah.

Yeah,

I know,

Sleeplessness,

Yeah.

Okay,

Does anybody have any questions or comments,

Or,

Please come forward.

Even if you're scared of feeling like a goof.

Maybe somebody who hasn't spoken.

Or anybody.

Yeah,

Go for it.

I had like a really horrible week.

Maybe there's something going on.

If Trilogin is not sleeping,

I didn't much either.

I felt like I was just at war with my ego.

It was horrible.

And,

Yeah,

I don't know.

I think I finally exhausted myself.

And then yesterday,

I went on a,

We had really cold spell weather,

So I hadn't been walking.

So that wasn't good.

And now the weather is nice again.

And yesterday,

I just,

I'm like,

That's it.

We're going on a walk.

We're going on a long walk.

It'll be a slow walk.

And I felt like something started to shift.

It was like,

I don't know,

Like I had to get so exhausted to let go.

But like,

I couldn't even.

It was like a dark night of soul for the whole week.

I don't,

I don't know.

I,

I feel like maybe I've been trying to do it.

And it kind of caught up with me.

Like,

I couldn't even hardly turn to prayer.

My,

My mind felt so like thick.

And,

Um,

This is good.

Yeah.

It's good.

It was horrible.

I know it's horrible.

But you guys,

This is what the journey is like,

You start moving through and the ego will launch a rebellion.

And you will get your ego right in your face with all your thoughts that you think all the all that stuff.

And,

You know,

It does exhaust us,

We get so exhausted that we surrender.

This is it,

You guys.

This is,

This is how it works.

And the point of sad things is to help you like feel like embrace so you don't feel so lost and lonesome in it.

But Pramasutra went through this hundreds of times.

Um,

So like,

You've been talking a lot about our resistance,

And like,

You know,

Enough.

And so I decided I wanted to let go of fear.

And then of course,

I was listening to some past ones.

And you're like,

Be careful.

And I was like,

Oh,

Now,

Now you tell me now that I'm going through this.

Instead of like,

I don't know,

Wanting,

Wanting better connection with people or something.

It's like,

I'm done with this fear.

I'm done.

I'm choosing like,

No.

And then that's like,

What slammed me.

It was just like,

I felt like I just slammed into a rock.

And so much stuff came up.

And it was so uncomfortable.

And I thought I was losing my mind.

I really did.

But the walk yesterday really helped and being outside and working in the garden.

And then I also could hear so like,

All my,

My negative self talk.

Um,

It shows up as like a former boss.

And I realized what like,

It was me.

It was me talking so unkindly to myself.

You mean,

That's why you had a former boss like that?

Because yeah,

I think you know how you can name things.

I just want to stop you for a minute,

Because I want to talk.

I just want to mention you guys.

Okay,

Exercise,

Susan felt better with exercise and gardening.

Gardening is really grounding.

Exercise is key.

We're human beings doing this evolution,

This transformation and taking care of the body this way helps you not lose your noodle.

Yeah.

Getting enough exercise,

Doing grounding things.

And Susan said that she,

You know,

She did,

You know,

You know,

When you throw down the gauntlet to the universe like that,

You Yeah,

You have to be careful.

I always say like,

Recommend,

You know,

You,

You say how much you can handle.

If you're going to say,

Okay,

I want to face my fear,

How much you can handle,

And try to do it with some love and compassion.

Do you understand?

Not with self hatred.

Yeah,

I didn't feel like I entered it with self hatred.

But that's like when it when my ego went after me.

It was a lot there.

There was I just Yeah,

I found a lot there.

You didn't do anything wrong.

This is very brave.

You get really skilled as time goes on.

This is this will lead to this is basically what happens during the self inquiry that Ramana talks about Ramana Maharshi,

This is what happens.

You get it as part of the self inquiry,

A part of finding out who you really are,

Everything that you are not comes up,

Like the ego.

And if you can stand it like you did,

Like,

You'll notice afterwards,

Sweetie,

That you that you've earned some greater freedom.

It might not show up right away,

But it will show up within a few weeks.

You don't believe me,

I think,

Do you?

No,

I,

I'm not sure how to respond to it's like,

Yeah.

It's already better.

And yeah.

Yeah.

And the other thing.

Go ahead.

I just want to say this.

This is what most people don't do.

So there are been a whole bunch of people around Prima Sutta,

Who try to do it and try to please me and put it on their shoulders and do like put on the shoulders,

But oh,

I've got to do the thesis prayer.

This is another hoop I have,

I have to do this and it's like,

That will never get them anywhere.

But what you did is clearing the levels of ego into more freedom.

This is what I want everybody to be able to do over time.

And this is where the song is so important.

And you thank you so much for for holding holding this but like,

So I could say to myself so like the walk felt very heavy.

Like my body felt very heavy.

And I was like,

It's just clearing.

Like,

I know I'm clearing.

And it's like,

I need like those type of affirmations.

And like I was listening to one of your previous thought sayings.

And it just,

It helps like,

Because I felt like I went into,

Like,

It was like panic.

Yeah.

And,

And so being able to say,

Okay,

I'm,

I'm,

I'm clearing it.

I know it.

I trust Amma.

I trust this process.

And I'm like,

Man,

She's right.

This is terrible.

But,

Um,

Yeah,

You're,

You're doing it and being self aware enough to like notice the heaviness and and say,

Okay,

This is clearing.

That's it.

Sweetie.

The bottom line is if you if you keep doing that you can walk through anything.

That is what Pramasutra did.

I just kept walking through more and more levels of ego until finally freedom arrived.

Yeah.

Yeah,

So badge of honor.

But,

You know,

You can't really talk to other people who don't do this process.

You know,

You can do that.

Right.

But,

No,

No.

I'm like,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Good for you,

Susan.

And you'll feel lighter that heaviness is just the heaviness leaving you will end up feeling lighter.

Yeah.

The other thing I noticed so I noticed too when I get really caught.

Okay,

So you know that thing where you look at your partner and you blame them for your lack of natural progress.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I noticed also that.

Oh,

And then I'm really unkind when this happens and I realized is my ego mirroring.

It's like whatever fault I'm finding there.

It's it's my ego.

Yeah,

Trying to protect itself.

Like I really see it.

I really see it.

Yeah,

So the other thing this is small miracle.

So I've been having issues with my siblings and I've been praying to Amma for some kind of resolution because it just feels bad.

And of course,

I've been trying to come up with a solution in my mind.

And I finally let go.

And then like the weirdest thing happened,

Something with my mother,

Which put us all together again.

And I was like,

It's the only way it could have happened.

At least for communicating and I immediately saw it like this is grace.

I had no control over making making them talk to me or whatever,

Whatever it was.

Just there's been a lot of that type of thing.

Noticing more and giving,

Giving thanks more.

And yeah,

So I don't know.

Fantastic.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Dharmasud is like doing a happy dance,

Truly.

And like even my daughter,

She's like,

I'm praying now.

She's all into it's really awesome.

And things are like just opening up in her life,

You know.

And it's wonderful.

I can share with her like we can we talk we talk about all of this.

It's beautiful.

This stuff gets passed through the females,

Female to female,

Female to daughters,

And to sons as well.

But it's when the women get going.

It's like it spreads.

And in this patriarchy,

What has been so difficult for,

You know,

What Dharmasud has noticed is how hard it has been to get the women going.

Like,

I found it unbelievable that it's just now really.

You know,

We've all been so scared and so whatever,

Beaten into submission or whatever.

We all lost our hearts,

You know,

Really.

Yeah,

Yeah.

We lost our hearts and we didn't feel permission to have them.

I mean even motherhood gets interrupted with like nonstop work.

Yeah.

So,

I think this is great.

And when the women change,

Everything changes.

I think this is.

Oh my god.

Made your happy dance.

Yeah.

So I value all so much.

I just want you all to know that I value you,

Premasudha.

Thank you so much.

I'm feeling.

I just feel more connected to the earth again and the way I remember.

Right.

Oh,

That's such a big thing.

Yeah.

To do.

Yeah.

Right.

So good.

Yeah,

Our state is so diminished and impoverished and then,

And then we recover it,

And we're like,

Wow,

It's nice to feel sane again,

In a deep,

In a deep way right.

Until you see you,

You felt like that you might lose your mind,

Our minds.

Our point right now is where we're living in,

In insanity.

And when we recover our sanity you go through these periods where you feel kind of yeah challenged.

Just like you have.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you guys,

Nobody else rushes Susan's children are grown up or child I don't know,

Because just one.

Yeah,

Just 20.

Yeah,

She's in college.

He's gone off to university.

Yeah,

So there's space for things so don't,

Don't be too hard on yourself,

But I'm just wanting to sort of highlight Susan's experience because this.

What she's talking about is just exactly what happened to me,

And I looked at it like empirical evidence and then I just noticed.

That's all that happened with me,

I paid attention to this stuff.

And I noticed that when I went through these periods,

I got better.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like a tremendous longing for the creator is going to start surfacing a new,

Especially after clearing this level of ego,

It's this really deep longing.

And it's very beautiful.

It's very beautiful it's it's going to bring your female nature into,

You're going to have,

It's going to bring in you're going to start moving more gracefully than I feel it's just going to come in the,

The female face of the creator more beautiful.

See you guys,

It isn't that hard to do you just have to be brave.

Really.

Put up with a week of feeling like you're going nuts.

I know and then I had like a business meeting or whatever.

Oh my god,

It was great.

But I was,

I was so flattened afterwards.

I could hardly function.

That's how it was getting through the week making myself do some duties I needed to.

And then like lying down for two hours after.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Right.

Right.

You did it all.

Is there anything is there something you need to come forward with.

I'm not sure.

No,

I don't know.

Just,

I'm going to keep going,

I guess.

Yeah.

Sometimes when I tell people stuff like with the creator,

I said the female face of the creator,

What you've done with that is you've gone into a disconnect your egos done a disconnect.

You know,

It's actually when you said that I felt extremely happy.

Like real joy.

Yes.

Like,

Yes.

That's,

That's what I want,

And I am.

Yeah,

The disconnect is I'm afraid of,

I'm afraid of it a little bit.

Yeah,

So I sometimes I go like I should just shut up.

But then,

Oh well,

This is my it's reaffirming it's reaffirming.

I'm like yes I'm on the right path.

I would just go self compassion for the fear of it,

You know,

For being nervous about it and remember it will just happen organically,

And you won't get too much of these difficult weeks you get a difficult week like this,

And then it will just get easier so don't worry,

It doesn't.

It doesn't last forever.

But really,

It stops,

You start feeling much better and you go wow.

Yeah.

And just keep asking for everything to come at a pace you can handle.

But sweetie your life will just get so much better.

You know,

When you recover your soul life just becomes like pink and gold.

You know,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you for Masuda.

Well,

Thanks for speaking Susan that's that will have inspired everybody I'm sure.

Yeah,

Just keep going you guys it's,

That's,

That's it,

You know,

She'll do you want to try the microphone thing again.

Okay,

Are you working.

It's gone off again.

There,

Can you know.

Okay,

Good.

Yeah,

There you are.

Good.

Yeah.

Good.

Yeah.

Is there anything you'd like to say,

I'd like to say thank you.

I feel it's an absolute treat and a blessing for me to sit in a group,

Virtually,

Full of people who have compassion,

And it's such a rare thing in this world and I can't express fully how grateful I am just,

Just to be here.

I wrote to you about my experience with the continual prayer,

And that felt truly amazing to me.

I didn't expect that to happen.

And when it did,

I was like,

Oh,

That's nice my heart just started praying without me.

So I'm starting to realize there's a lot of clever things happening in,

In my body that I was never quite fully aware of because I learned how to disassociate very quickly when I was young.

So,

Yeah,

And it's,

And I really do feel that,

That,

I think,

Coming here and being around this energy can only be healing for everyone,

Not just me,

Not just the people around me,

Not just the people sitting here virtually,

Not just the people listening to it in the future.

I think this groups like this have such an energy and an ability to help everyone,

Planet wide,

Perhaps further,

You know,

So that's why I'm so glad to be here.

That's what I think to show.

I think this is pretty much this is so powerful when we do this.

Yeah,

And that,

You know,

The,

The Jesus prayer praying,

Your heart praying on its own with like,

Just starting it.

You know what I feel like that this group attracts you know people who had a lot of lives and sort of it's like you just scratch the surface,

And the ancient soul is going,

Okay,

I'm here I want to come out and play,

And that it's safe to do it.

We're.

Yeah,

Like this is embodying work how to embody it.

And that helps.

Well that's the key,

This is,

This is what we haven't done in the human races embody it we've talked about it more.

So,

So I'm thrilled.

I'm thrilled.

I'm thrilled to have you in the group.

Yeah.

Good.

Thank you.

Okay,

Guys.

Don't be shy.

Come on.

Don't be shy.

Marion Is there anything you'd like to say.

Maybe it's the microphone again.

Oh well,

I'll just leave it for whoever wants to come forward.

All right.

Oh,

There she is.

Marian.

No,

Does it work.

Yeah,

Can hear you.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I wrote an email to you on Wednesday.

Mm hmm.

And then you answered that you couldn't answer my questions.

And I was like,

Okay,

Well,

Probably they were pretty heady.

And,

Um,

And I was.

What is it.

When you do this.

You were sorry.

Um,

I don't know the word and patient.

Patient.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I wasn't,

I wasn't patient with myself.

And,

Yeah,

That's what I read out of your email so I read it and then I thought,

Yeah,

Well,

Okay,

I think about that.

And even more I,

I felt it.

I didn't think that much.

So,

Um,

Yeah and then it was Thursday,

And I felt better I was,

I was sick Monday,

Tuesday and Wednesday.

Couldn't go to work,

And,

Um,

Didn't sleep that good.

And then the night from Thursday to Friday,

I got up and was felt happy.

Like I was in a better mood.

And it felt like as if something just fell off from my body fell off from.

That's it.

That's it.

And that can happen.

Just like that.

And I was kind of like,

Like,

Like smiling I went,

I got up and smiled.

And I felt that I would smile.

It was like an inner smiling.

And the day.

And the days before I even my face was just like,

Like,

Like the mouth when went like this,

I could,

I could.

Yeah,

I could feel it that I was looking that way.

Because I was grumpy with.

Yeah.

So,

So,

So something changed,

I mean,

You,

I asked you to pray for me I asked you to pray for my daughter.

And yes,

Even for my ex husband,

Because you mentioned the satsang before and I thought about it like two or three days and I felt yeah that's a good idea.

Just please help him help him not be.

That's it.

That's it like let's share the love.

Everybody needs it right.

Even the villains in our storyline they they need the love to they probably need it more than we do.

Yeah.

When you,

When you wrote it was like,

It was like you know you were writing to a psychotherapist,

Asking questions like at a psychotherapist level.

And this work will never,

Never functions like this but lots of you guys start off with me this way you start trying to do this.

So it's it's the you're in good company,

Mary and I just,

I just don't participate,

And even me not going along with it helps dislodge your ego.

Me not allowing truth to be sort of put in a tiny box.

It is part of what makes you outgrow your ego.

It's like,

It's like that.

It's like you basically the ego learns that it's not,

It's going to get dethroned it's not going to be the boss,

Because I couldn't even begin to speak the way you wanted me to speak with.

It was like very head oriented questions.

And this work is wildly.

It's wild compassion,

And just any interfacing with Pramasutra at all will help strengthen your soul and move you into truth,

And it just happens through the ethers.

And coming to a group like this,

You'll just find that change occurs I mean,

Susan when you first came,

You were a little bit like that with me,

You all are with being like that you all start off like that with me.

And you just learn and Marianne this work,

You know,

Really help you embody your truth.

Pramasutra will really help you do it,

It won't be comfortable,

But it works.

Yeah,

I don't,

I don't care that it's not comfortable.

Yeah,

Good.

That's what I want.

That is what I want is people around you're like,

Yeah,

This is not not the point I was just like,

So when does it happen I was just not passionate,

And the thing is,

Like my body just saved me with putting me into sickness for a couple of days,

Because then I just,

I couldn't,

I couldn't function,

I couldn't go to work I couldn't,

Like,

Drive through this weird city to get to my,

To my working place.

Yeah,

And then,

Then my daughter went to school and then I just had time.

I had time to just play around for two hours and thinking and then I stopped thinking and then I,

I was just crying.

Praying,

Praying,

Crying and that was good.

Inhalation things clearing up the nose wasn't working that much as crying for five minutes and just helping for.

Yeah,

That's it.

That's it.

See,

You guys,

Actually,

Women were gifted at this.

This is,

We're gifted at transformation,

It's easier for us and for the guys and you guys,

I go like well it's hard enough for us women so God knows but it is easier for us we can just do this more easily.

And when we trust our feminine nature when we stop making her bad.

We start growing very quickly.

Very quickly.

Yeah.

Thrilling.

Good for you.

Yeah,

And it's even like on different levels like thinking about whom,

Whom,

With whom I want to spend my time with,

And with whom I don't anymore.

Like with whom I want to give my energy in and with whom I don't like.

Same thing as well but on another level,

Of course,

But yeah.

Yeah.

People around you like being with people who see more who you are,

Who see you in your power who love and value you.

Yep.

Yeah,

And all these in school there are some,

Some kinds of.

Oh,

I'm in an,

I'm in a group like with mothers,

Other mothers and fathers for this digital things like we want to want to help our kids to get along with mobiles and stuff.

Yeah.

And this is so hard work because,

Like,

We're all running in shoe size 2323.

Because nobody has an idea.

Teachers don't parents don't the kids don't,

It's so fast.

Like,

And I'm,

Yeah.

I'm trying to,

I'm thinking of,

Like,

Getting out of the group because they're,

They're fighting who's right and who's wrong and this is just not the point,

Who's right or wrong.

We just have to help our kids not to get totally lost in these digital worlds.

Yeah.

So,

Oh yeah,

I mean,

If you feel not to be in the group.

Yeah,

Come on.

I mean,

All I know is when I joined a homeschooling group.

When I was homeschooling the kids for about five years.

It was,

It was so chaotic.

It was so blindly in the blind chaotic it was homeschooling and just started that I went,

Oh,

This isn't helping us at all this is making things worse there's one family who was doing,

Who would they just,

They just whatever their child wanted to do.

The child did so they let their child play computer games all day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now,

What,

What I really,

What makes me angry is that when the parents are not honest.

When they,

When they're saying a and doing B.

And this is that this really drives me nuts at work and at school as well like when the people are not honest to themselves and to each other.

When they don't when they're not able to.

I get it,

Sweetie.

The more you keep you keep being embody your truth,

The less that will be a problem.

Okay.

Yeah,

Truly,

Truly I promise you.

What again,

The more I am your body and your truth.

The less those people will either bother you or you won't end up having much to do with them like we get things like this we get I call them kind of like icebergs.

There are things that really bother us,

And they're bothering us because that's our issue too but we don't see that.

And we just think it's them.

And it will be on a deeper level within us maybe like it'll be,

You know,

Not at a,

At a deeper level than maybe a superficial level that it's showing in somebody else.

But the only things that bug us are us.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it just when we realize that then we just pull back from judging others and we,

We pull back to our own hearts and go like okay how can I be more in truth.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Got it.

You did.

Marian,

This is really good you have come a really long way from the,

You know,

First time you contacted me.

Like,

I have nothing but praise for you woman.

But you guys all know that I will always give you your next step.

I put some emails out and I was telling people you know there is a nice people send me stuff and they,

I can feel they want to be praised and it's like I won't do that I might acknowledge and then I'll say yeah but you need to work on this now.

It's like,

You're not going to get too many pats in the back like,

I mean you'll get some acknowledgement,

But,

You know,

We human beings you know sometimes we,

If we get praise sometimes we just stop then,

Oh well I'm,

I've reached it I'm good.

I'm a cooked cake.

And it's a very big journey.

Yeah.

That's it Marian you're coming to your heart more,

I can feel it.

Yeah.

Good sweetie.

Yeah,

You guys you're naturals.

Yeah.

And the other thing is the other thing I love about this group is,

You know,

My way is so blunt and honest and you guys can take it and that's so good because you can just take it run with it and grow.

Yeah.

Wow.

I'm getting more hopeful about the earth.

Mitchie How are you,

Sweet one.

Hi.

Yeah.

Today I'm fine.

I had a very hard week a rough week at a small break down physical and dimensionally and since today it's okay.

I'm very soft today and I think I'm more in my heart now.

Okay.

Not to go to work for a week.

And I just did things for myself.

And,

Yeah,

It's much more.

There's,

There's kind of a feeling of a deep loneliness in you that I,

I would like to see a little bit healed.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's nothing you have to do,

There's nothing you have to perform or anything,

I'm just,

I just see it and feel it,

And you're so lovely,

And you have such a heart of gold,

Gold,

And you don't this feeling of deep loneliness,

It doesn't have to keep existing,

It's not necessary,

Sweetie.

And this is why I said to you,

I started with you when I said,

You know,

Some of you are so sure about where you are and what you need to work on that you don't let me get through so you,

You are letting me get through more so I can tell you about this loneliness that you must know very deeply.

You know it in yourself.

Yeah,

Right.

Right,

Good.

This is really good,

It's really good you're admitting it in front of the group,

This is,

This is just what heals,

And it's just like,

You know,

You're,

You're very beautiful,

It's like on every level,

It's like,

It's what,

Whatever you think that is,

You know,

Unlovable,

Or whatever it is,

It's like,

And it's so delicate,

It's so like you're so sensitive,

And this is so delicate that that premise to that has to be very careful even as I'm talking with you.

This is I'm feeling like,

Oh,

I don't want to go in there with muddy boots,

I have to be very,

Very careful.

I just,

It's like the Creator loves you.

Like,

You're just so loved,

Sweetie.

Yeah,

Just,

You're so loved.

Yeah,

It's a,

It's a big misunderstanding.

This,

This loneliness.

It's a big misunderstanding.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I think I noticed the last weeks that I can't trust people or do not trust people,

And I don't know why.

There's such a,

Like a wall in front of me.

Yeah,

Right.

It has been.

You're very sensitive.

And so this is what happens to us sometimes.

But it's good to notice,

And there's no rush,

And don't force yourself.

I'll tell you,

Just admitting this in front of the group is half the battle.

You know,

It's half of it,

Actually.

You'll find.

Yeah.

Right.

Thank you so much.

Oh,

Sweetie pie,

You,

You pull my heartstrings.

There's a beautiful,

Beautiful,

Beautiful art in there.

Yeah.

And you,

You know,

It is,

It is a,

It's,

You know,

A tough world.

I mean,

We are in the patriarchies and women are getting loaded up with,

Like I say,

To raise the kids are in the living and be beautiful and whatever,

Whatever all the other things are.

It's just so impossible.

And we're,

It's like we're taught not to value ourselves we're taught not to value our true natures,

And to just focus on the outside,

And it's,

It's very painful for us.

It's actually very painful for anybody.

But it's like the female wounding has to be addressed because until the female wounding is addressed,

Nobody's going to feel better.

It's how it works.

Change comes in through the feminine.

So the first thing is the women.

We have to find our hearts again we have to feel that we can have our heart.

We can have our feminine heart,

We can have our true female nature.

You know,

It's like,

Sweetie,

I can feel it,

It's like you,

You protect yourself,

And what you need the greatest protection of all is learning to love and honor yourself and forgive yourself like Prima Sudha.

It's that I turned and loved myself that,

That things have worked out for me.

Do you see?

I don't protect myself.

Yeah,

I don't defend myself,

I mean,

I mean I don't go forward into life with a defensive.

But this is something that it will be like a you're learning curve this life.

Okay,

So I want you to be very gentle and patient with it.

Yeah,

Good.

I like that.

I will.

Good.

Good,

Because you'll have to test the waters and you'll have to gradually see that it's that actually kind of an open loving heart that the universe just protects you.

That is what that's what my whole life is about.

And you can even be a bumbling idiot,

A bumbling resistant idiot,

Who's trying to go forward with an open art,

And the universe will protect you and take very good care of you.

It's how it works.

Right.

Right.

Oh,

I'm so glad you're in this group and I'm so glad you keep turning up.

Oh,

Sweetie pie and a big huge love going into that beautiful heart.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Well thank you.

Well,

I'm having like today has been like my dream day of working with you guys it's sort of like being,

You know,

Feasting of eating beautiful desserts.

This is,

This is fantastic and you know sometimes when I get like,

I get like I rattle chain chains and I'll go.

Come on you guys come on you guys,

It's like always there's a shift when I do that.

There's a shift in me that happens.

Really,

After,

After I've done that,

I make a shift.

And then I see the shift in you,

All of you and this is,

This is,

This is fantastic premise it is such a deeply happy woman and really,

You know for years and years and years it didn't look like it.

I didn't think I'd ever figure it all out but it's so simple.

And with the group like this.

You guys can pick up a lot in osmosis just sponging it up,

Listening to other people and hearing people's stories will give you courage and hearing about people who are moving forward.

Yeah.

It's a very beautiful thing we're doing.

And I do know what was it Susan,

Who said that it's for shell,

One of you guys said it was,

You know,

Helping to change the world,

It does we're working.

I'll tell you this is working with everybody on the planet.

I mean,

And it's all Alma really I mean it's just,

You know,

It's all her but it's,

It is.

It is helping everybody in the planet and I get just emails and sometimes on inside timer,

And I'll get these lovely reviews where people say that it just some audio or hearing the satsangs change people's lives,

You know,

So.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is there anybody else.

Guys are also shy.

Somebody come forward because we'll close we're gonna have to close I mean I nobody comes forward.

Hello this is Ruth I'll come forward.

When push comes to shove Ruth.

Yeah,

Good.

I don't like to talk that much I just,

I had a similar situation where I was not sleeping for some nights and,

And,

And just really feeling.

Yeah,

About everything.

Like,

Life is yuck and nothing.

It's all the same same same and horrible things happening.

And then I just,

I wrote,

I wrote in my journal and then I went for a long walk,

Not a long walk a short walk but I got out,

Got out in the sun and.

And then everything changed and,

You know,

Not like I'm jumping for joy now but,

You know,

I've been through enough ups and downs that I know these things will pass but it's,

It's frustrating and right now I was,

I just literally just put somebody on the prayer list well,

Well you guys were talking because I,

My sisters,

My brother in law is very sick he's got pneumonia.

He's been in and out of the hospital for years really had part of those lung removed and so I just put a prayer list.

Can you can you I can't see your face.

Oh,

Okay.

I'm not.

Okay.

There you are.

Oops.

Hi.

Okay,

That's better it's better makes it easier for me to receive your energy.

Yeah,

You're good enough.

Yeah,

And you know it's funny it's like once you hear about somebody else going through something it's like,

Oh my stuff is,

It's nothing,

You know,

It's not a big deal.

Well,

Yes and no.

I mean,

You know,

You know,

The stuff.

It's the mud of the Lotus,

So,

You know,

It's,

It's got some importance in the sense of the content is the mud of the Lotus,

It's not just useless or bad.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

I get that.

Yeah.

I'm just gonna keep going want to spend some time with you,

Sweetie.

So just,

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what were you feeling bad about just,

Like I said,

Everything seemed like the same,

It feels like I mentioned this last time I talked to him but just something needs to change I feel like I need to do something or something needs to change in my life.

And I don't know what.

So,

I just keep praying and hoping and I think something will present itself.

Well,

But I feel like that it's this turned to a like a deep loving embrace of yourself,

This is what needs to change.

Like,

The way you like I,

You're right in a way like when we hear other people's stories then our stuff we go I don't really have a problem but the way you said it what I heard was a kind of.

Not self discuss that's too hard too high but I'm trying to push yourself off push yourself away to push,

Like,

It's like to turn and love Ruth,

As she is,

That is what needs to change.

And that is what will have really good results as you do it.

Yeah,

I have had time I have had times when I can and then other times when I can't it's.

It's an ongoing challenge.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Ladies and gentlemen,

Yeah.

And you pray and there's nothing happening at all is like,

Is there anybody there.

Yeah.

Right.

And so you're speaking to me from a level of alienation on yourselves.

This,

These,

This is what walls you off from the creator,

And as you turn and really sincerely decide to really love yourself as you are.

Yeah.

Really decide.

Because you really decide to this alienation will come off yourselves in different things will happen to you.

And your whole experience.

Yeah.

Right.

Good.

Yeah,

I get it.

Yeah,

You might have a week like Susan had.

Yeah,

Well I did I have,

Well it was a little bit shorter than a week but yeah.

Well,

Maybe that's what you're doing maybe you're dropping the alienation already.

I don't know.

But,

But I feel like it's sort of like it's like a mom who loves a kid when the kids convenient,

And when the kids good tempered and if the kid gives her any trouble at all.

The mom just turns off and goes,

Oh,

That's what you're doing for yourself that's that's what you're doing.

Yeah,

Yeah.

So you're saying love myself even when I'm grumpy and grumpy feel hopeless.

Yeah,

Really deep decision to love yourself.

Yeah,

No matter what,

Like,

Really get down to it really turn and do it.

Like,

Okay,

Because you're busted,

You know,

It's like,

I've said this to you,

It's like,

I mean it.

Yeah,

It's really.

It's been years and years trying to get rid of the self self loathing and,

You know,

All of that.

Yeah,

But you're saying trying to get rid of it you see,

If you instead of instead of a compassionate embrace for this for dear Ruth who somehow was persuaded that she's not God,

You know,

She's not part of the creation that she's not a value.

She's not a value.

That's what the problem is.

You as a little kid decided you were not a value.

Okay,

That is what you need a lot of compassion for and catch it in your thoughts.

Witness it,

You don't fight it,

But here I'm doing it again.

This is the stuff premise it was talking about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

Sweetie,

You're going to have to if you want to be more fulfilled.

This is just a bad habit.

Yeah,

Bad habit,

And you.

Yeah,

I'm calling it,

And I know that you can with a little bit of will a little bit of,

You know,

Think about it,

Like,

How do you want the rest of your years,

Do you want to.

You know,

Right.

Yeah,

Right,

Right.

Some of you guys have made big changes.

You know,

It happens kind of organically.

Ruth,

It will just happen just hearing these words,

And,

And the group,

Kind of this,

This thing being exposed really in front of this group which is very loving,

And everybody's a little like this is premise it was to.

Yeah,

I want to say Shiva my a has made huge steps past this she struggled with this too.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

So,

Just play with it a little bit in your idea of that you've got permission to really love yourself,

And to be compassionate with yourself.

And I can feel that there's a door opening.

There's a door.

I want to say there's a door opening in your heart but I'm scared if I say it,

That it will sabotage it,

You know,

Because this is what happens people are so sensitive,

But,

You know,

Yeah.

No,

I'm open to it because I have felt it before I have felt self love before I have.

Yeah,

And it can just become a way of living so that more and more goes.

Sure.

Yeah,

But just stay stay on it.

I mean,

Even permissible I mean,

You know,

Like,

Some of this stuff like,

Sometimes I go like,

I'm going like,

It's a nice thing to myself have I really got that much to teach people,

You know,

It's like we're all we're all like this,

But just,

Yeah,

Open your heart to yourself.

That's it.

Okay.

You did it.

You did it,

I could feel it.

You guys are so ready to like cook like you're like,

You know,

You're,

You're almost ready to be brought out of the oven,

It's like,

This is,

I've never seen movement like this before in a group.

Fantastic.

My hat off.

It's probably been some astrological change to.

Yeah,

You guys really,

Yeah,

Pads in the back and thank you thank you thank you for coming.

I just,

And for putting yourselves on the prayer list and for turning up and being so honest,

And being able to receive the bluntness from premise Judah.

Thank you.

Thank you guys are always in my prayers.

Yeah.

Love you.

Bye.

Bye.