Serenity Wellness Podcast E43: Be Still

Hello,

Welcome to Serenity Wellness Podcast.

My name is Nicole White and I'll be your host.

This podcast is dedicated to helping you tap into your full potential of how you can heal and balance your mental,

Emotional,

And physical wellbeing.

Together let's explore inner self,

Connect with our strength and manifest your true nature,

One full of love,

Purpose,

And passion.

Welcome to episode 43,

Be Still.

Thank you for your patience.

I'm a little behind getting this episode out and that is because I was attending a conference.

It was the Medical Cannabis Symposium that looks at the intersection of science and research being done.

Some amazing information we are learning about our endocannabinoid system,

As well as the research being done in terms of the use of medical cannabis for mental health,

Pain management,

And substance abuse recovery.

This conference was for doctors,

Nurses,

And pharmacists.

So it was a great way to learn the information.

And I also chose to go to that one because I wanted to hear the language that's being used in the medical community in terms of this use of medical cannabis for treatment.

I will have an episode about all of the information I'm learning there or learn there,

But I'm waiting to put that out until later January because I have another upcoming retreat I'm attending.

And that one is held through MAPS,

Which is the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies.

At that retreat,

I'll be learning much more in-depth information in terms of the endocannabinoid system and research and clinical practice for medical cannabis.

But it also will be covering my other area of research in terms of psilocybin and the use of psilocybin for the treatment of PTSD and depression.

So I'm going to wait to put that episode out so I can include all that great information for you.

So I look forward to that and sharing that with you.

But today,

Let's talk about stillness.

Our lives are often jam-packed,

Busy,

Buzzing,

Moving,

Shifting,

Avoiding as our go-tos,

Rarely stillness.

We deprive our mind,

Body,

And full self the opportunity stillness provides.

But what makes us fear stillness?

I realize fear might sound like a strong word to use,

But just hear me out as we talk through this.

As a mental health and energy therapist,

This area is a common discussion topic.

So today,

I'm going to go over the most common fears and some strategies for you to consider adding to your wellness toolbox.

Our thoughts are often an area that creates fear and stillness.

As we've been talking about in various episodes,

Sometimes we get caught up in thought loops,

Spirals,

Unhelpful thinking patterns.

In stillness,

We can fear these thought patterns.

So we avoid stillness because we're worried we might get consumed with thinking or get stuck in our minds.

We might have certain thoughts or judgments about stillness itself.

Thinking it means we're lazy or that we're too busy to be still.

We'll start being flooded with the shoulds and the coulds in our mind.

You know,

I should be doing this.

I could be doing that.

But whose shoulds are you really living?

We might even think stillness is boring.

But is it really?

How do you know this to be true?

Another area that creates a fear of stillness is our emotions.

We might not want to feel,

Notice,

Give attention to,

Process or experience the emotions we have and that we've stored up.

We can go through life pushing away and judging our feelings,

Swallowing them.

We eat our emotions,

Pretending that makes them somehow go away.

But instead they pile up inside.

This can often lead to digestive problems,

Increased inflammation and gut bacteria,

Lower back pain and a disconnection from our creativity and intimate connections with others.

This avoidance of stillness with our emotions causes and creates mental,

Emotional as well as physical distress in our body.

Exploding our emotions can create challenges with emotion regulation.

Sometimes it's described as a feeling of being like a pressure cooker where suddenly the emotions just explode.

But you can think of it like a dam that has a small crack.

The dam's doing fine,

Holding back all the water,

But then there's a heavy storm that lasts for an extended period of time.

Flooding the waterway,

Creating a pressured,

Chaotic flow.

And it puts so much pressure against the crack that the crack expands and the dam breaks,

Creating a flood.

The same can happen with us when we don't allow stillness with our emotions.

We're also more likely to add more to our backpacks.

Those bricks and fire starters we carry around that weigh us down and create further escalation.

Or we might jump over our primary emotion to our secondary,

Perhaps even avoiding certain emotions altogether because we don't let ourselves just be with us.

And this fear of thought and emotion and stillness within can create a fear of just being with ourselves.

We avoid being still because we fear what we might discover.

We fear we might notice aspects of ourselves,

Behaviors,

Perceptions that are unhealthy or abrasive.

So we don't like hanging out with us and getting to know who we are.

But when we deny ourselves this opportunity,

Then we are also denying ourselves growth,

Healing and compassion.

This keeps us looped into cycles and can increase a fear of loneliness,

Which creates high attachment styles or disorganized attachment styles in our relationships.

It will often lead to people staying in unhealthy,

Toxic and sometimes even abusive relationships with others because they have a fear of being alone.

They would rather be in that kind of circumstance than be with themselves until they work through this fear.

We can go out of our way to avoid stillness,

Keeping ourselves and our environment so busy,

Sometimes even chaotic.

We connect to this discomfort with silence,

Filling our space,

Our minds and our physical self with anything to keep us away from stillness.

Sometimes we'll be multitasking.

We'll like have our TV on,

Music playing,

Scrolling on our phone,

Cooking,

All while trying to have a conversation with someone.

We see this lack of connection and stillness and just being in terms of connection with others all the time when we look around us.

If you're in a restaurant or coffee shop and you look around,

Often people are at a table together all on their phone.

No one's talking,

Engaging and connecting.

In your home,

In the living room,

Everyone might be chilling together,

But everybody's on their phone on some kind of device.

You know,

The TV's on just all these distractions and noise around us to keep us from just being present.

We can often create even in our connection around us if we don't have one of those devices keeping us away from stillness,

We might even just fill the empty space with nonsense and jibber jabber just so that we don't have silence with another person.

But that silence can allow for deeper connection.

When we have silence with someone else,

It shows an element of comfortable vulnerability and trust.

Healing stillness also improves our self-awareness,

Gives space for healing and growth,

Provides an opportunity for your body to rejuvenate,

Calibrating our internal rhythms,

And often will also move us more into a balanced breath cycle.

I've talked a bit here and there about stillness and universal consciousness and how with stillness,

That is when we connect,

Receive,

And understand.

Stillness also allows us at times to get into a theta brain state,

Which is where our subconscious healing can also begin to come to surface for healing.

I understand that just knowing and being aware of these aspects doesn't mean that you're automatically going to be comfortable in stillness.

It can take practice and patience.

It's a mind training,

Maybe something brand new for you.

Incorporating some tools to begin to connect with the feeling of stillness can be helpful.

One area would be in body stillness.

So considering receiving a massage,

A reiki session,

Or acupuncture would be some examples.

These allow for stillness and can guide you into a deep relaxation,

Even into that theta brain state.

Sensory deprivation is another amazing way to get connected and comfortable in stillness.

You might know it to be called a float tank.

So when you're in that experience,

It's a certain ratio of epsom salt and water where you can't sink.

So you're automatically floating.

The temperature of the water is the same as your internal body temperature.

There is no sound or light.

And so it removes all of your senses so that you are just being.

It provides many different opportunities in terms of health and healing,

Connection to more direct connect to universal consciousness.

But in terms of stillness,

It will also allow some comfort and understanding of what that feels like.

You can consider going to a group meditation.

In group meditation,

It will improve stillness through a connected energy.

So often when I run group meditations,

I will run the meditation and then we have a little bit of just open discussion at the end.

And in my meditations,

There's often periods of 20 minutes or more of silence.

And in the discussion area at the end,

People are often shocked that they sat that long in silence.

I will first ask people a guess of how long they think we were in silence outside of the guided part.

And they'll say maybe,

You know,

Five minutes,

Eight minutes,

I think the highest someone said was 12.

But they are surprised and shocked at themselves that they were able to sit in stillness and silence for 20 or more minutes.

So group meditation is a nice way to start gaining comfort within that stillness and just being.

And then you're also just being with other people,

Which is an added benefit.

Maybe listening to some guided meditations could be helpful.

Following the individual's voice that is guiding you through the experience allows you to get out of monkey mind and the jibber jabber.

I have various different meditations through these episodes.

There's episode 18 is one specifically on inner stillness and strength.

But the other ones you can,

If you look at the titles,

It says meditation in the title,

But there's a couple different ones there.

So a guided meditation.

Also considering periods of silence,

Giving yourself an opportunity to just drop in.

The mind might race initially.

And this is not about quietness of mind anyway.

It's about that practice of being the observer,

Noticing and being the witness instead of participating in all thoughts.

And if you practice this period of silence with self,

After practice,

You know,

About 10 minutes or so in,

And again,

It might take repeated practice first,

But usually then after about 10 minutes,

You start to then drop underneath the jibber jabber of the mind and see what's there.

Instead of the automatic here,

There and everywhere,

The mind often will go into in practiced periods of silence and just being within stillness.

The mind will go,

But through extended practice after you sit within,

It lets you drop deeper.

Practicing silence with another individual,

As I mentioned,

Is also very healthy and connecting.

It allows for a feeling of increased trust as well as that connection and comfortable vulnerability.

Another practice you can consider is a five minute eye gaze.

It is a beautiful experience to allow yourself.

You can do this with a family,

Friend or loved one,

Your partner.

We do workshops sometimes where you do this with a stranger,

Which is also equally beautiful.

So with the eye gaze,

You'd set a timer for five minutes.

And in that five minutes,

You're just being still with the other individual,

Sitting across from one another and staring into one another's eyes.

You might have felt some anxiety,

Me even mentioning that as an idea to consider doing because we're so sometimes avoidant of even small eye contact.

But I assure you,

This is a beautiful practice.

So maybe considering giving that a try.

Initially you might feel some discomfort,

Maybe even a little bit of anxiety creeping in,

The mind trying to get involved.

Like,

Where am I looking?

Where am I looking?

Should I be looking?

How am I doing?

Oh,

This feels strange.

Whatever comes through,

Just let it come and go and reconnect.

Allowing yourself to sit in nature is another great practice in stillness.

Considering the animals,

The trees,

The clouds,

The movement,

As well as the stillness that is around you.

Taking in the smells and the sounds.

It's chilly right now where I live in Pennsylvania,

So I don't always get out in nature as much as I would like to.

So to help me with that,

I fill my home with plants,

And sometimes I'll meditate around my plants as a way for me right now in the blistery cold to connect with nature in stillness.

You can also consider taking a bath.

It's a nice way to just be still and connect.

We're potentially creating that sacred space for relaxation and stillness,

Which then starts to signal the body that it's time to relax and go within.

Episode 16 is where I talk about creating a sacred space and talk you through how to do that if you need some assistance there.

But it's really just kind of creating a little corner or a little nook in your area.

When I did that episode,

Some people got in contact with me and told me how they created this sacred space in their workplace as a way that they would have a little kind of nook to gain some inner peace in the busyness of their workday.

So creating a sacred space,

And then what happens is the body starts getting imprinted memorization,

Where every time then you enter that space,

The body starts relaxing and unwinding because it's a signal to let go and just be.

And then also considering your bedroom and how you try to fall asleep.

Often people will create lots of business around them to try to fall asleep.

They'll have the TV on,

Or they're on their phone,

Messing around on social media,

Watching videos on their tablets,

Reading books,

All this just stuff that they put in their mind in order to fall asleep.

Instead of just letting themselves be still,

Be within,

And naturally begin to fall asleep.

Often people avoid this because of that busy mind,

And they get often feeling like they're too wrapped up in their mind to fall asleep.

But if you allow practice and patience,

It can be a different story.

So practicing connecting to breath between thought,

Becoming the observer versus the participator,

Maybe practicing that progressive relaxation technique that we've talked about.

Or if your mind's really busy,

Maybe getting that mind dump paper next to your bed where you just jot down whatever keeps racing so that your mind knows it doesn't have to keep repeating.

You can think about it in the morning.

So those are some areas to maybe consider adding to your wellness toolbox that will begin to gain more comfort for you in stillness and just being.

Becoming aware of potential fears that you might have that create this avoidance of stillness,

Whether it be your thoughts,

Emotions,

Fear of being with yourself,

Looking for that stillness and avoidance in terms of your connection with others and just being.

Thank you as always for joining me.

You can check us out online,

Serenity Wellness Center,

C-E-N-T-R-E,

Or on Facebook and Instagram to keep updated on what we have going on.

As always,

Thank you so much for spending this time with me,

And I look forward to talking with you again soon.

Have a good one.