Today we are journeying toward trust.
It is so common that when we experience trauma,
Trust is one of the first things to go.
Life isn't supposed to be painful or unfair.
So we learn that either our experience of the world is wrong,
It couldn't really be that bad,
I can't trust my feelings,
Or we learn that the world can't be trusted.
Self-reliance at all costs.
No dependency.
I work with so many brilliant,
Kind,
Hard-working people who consistently reject in subtle ways that they know what's best for themselves.
But I truly believe that they do,
That we all do.
It just takes some practice and some quiet,
Slow time to do that deep listening that is required.
But look,
You're here.
Why?
Because you have hope in your ability to increase trust.
And you have a sense that you are worthy of feeling more trust in your life.
I think that hope and worthiness are like cousins of trust.
So you are already on your way.
Let's amplify that hope.
Let's get your body comfortable.
Only you know what that means for you.
This is not what your yoga teacher told you,
Or the posture that you've seen others take while meditating.
It might not even be the same shape that you took last time you journeyed.
This is how your particular body wants to be in this particular moment.
Scan your face,
Shoulders,
Belly,
Hips,
Legs.
Listen for the parts that want to stretch and the parts that want to melt.
What wants to be in contact with the ground and what wants space?
And just be with your body for a moment,
Tending to its comfort and relaxation.
Good.
Now breathe.
If you want to take slow,
Deep breaths,
Great.
If you want to keep your natural breath,
Great.
If you want to hold at the top and the bottom of your breath,
Great.
Trust that you know the way that you want to breathe right now.
One way that we can increase trust is to increase our awareness of each moment,
Our intimacy with reality.
With reality,
When we experience a moment free from distraction or distortion,
We can have confidence in our knowledge.
We know what we saw,
Heard,
Felt.
We were fully present to our own experience,
So we know it completely.
This can be tricky.
Our lives aren't always set up in ways that encourage this level of awareness.
Just take it moment by moment as you build this skill.
What can you hear?
My voice,
Your breathing,
My voice,
Your breathing,
Something in the next room,
Something outside.
Just listen with full awareness.
Reflect on what you're hearing.
How do you know what you heard?
I don't mean can you correctly identify what you heard.
I mean,
How do you know that there was a low bass sound versus a high pitched whir?
How do you know if it was close by or far off?
In other words,
How can you trust your experience?
When you feel certain about the sounds that you heard,
When you know beyond question that you are the one who heard them,
How do you feel in your body?
How does your own reliability feel in your heart,
Your jaws,
In your heart,
Your jaws,
Your belly?
Know that you can extend this certainty to all parts of your life.
Start small,
Repeat often.
Try this again with your vision and sight.
How does it feel to trust that your eyes saw a black crow fly by?
Try it again with your sense of touch.
How do you know that the water in the shower is too hot or too cold?
Notice how your body recognizes certainty.
In every practice,
Trust that you are correct,
That your experience is true.
Build the skill like a muscle,
Taking on more weight and more reps.
What do you want to eat right now?
Not what is the healthiest or the most indulgent,
Not what restaurant will your friends enjoy,
Not what meal will your kids also eat,
Just what does your body crave in this moment?
Trust that it is true,
You know best.
What is the next right step on your path?
If this question feels overwhelming,
Just practice the smaller steps for a while and work your way up to this.
Trust is a really complex thing,
Part emotion,
Part intellect,
Part experience.
It's not a switch you could just flip,
Nor should it be.
Come back to this practice over and over to gently build your sense of trust and work your way up to those more fundamental questions about trusting who you are and what your life can be.
Thank you for spending this time.
