I am Simon Cole and in this talk I am going to extend and expand the theme of my talk Turn Mindfulness into Mindful Flow.
It would be better if you have listened to that talk first.
Mindful Flow Mostly flow is something we are comfortable with.
It chimes with our innate sense that moving,
Developing,
Evolving are all positive.
The words we associate with flow usually have a good feel,
Whereas the words we associate with its opposite,
Stoppage,
Words like block,
Stuck,
Interrupted tend to feel negative.
So mindful flow has to contain the notion that we are in touch with what is flowing and that our contribution to the flow is conscious and genuine.
No pretending,
No censoring,
No hiding.
How do we flow as human beings?
Well the most basic and visible way is that we talk to other human beings.
Having the gift of intricate sound creation,
Speaking in other words,
And the consciousness which is the prerequisite for speaking,
We have the opening for the most sophisticated pattern of relating of any species on the planet.
So far so good.
But then what?
We go and trip ourselves up.
We use language to disparage and criticise and pour scorn and run down.
Yes,
Of course we say nice things too,
But the nice things are easy because they are usually about stuff we agree with or like,
Things that suit us.
But on the other side,
Aren't we quick to criticise without stopping to think that what we are busy running down suits someone else,
Works for that person.
Then at that moment,
The precious gift of being able to relate in our unique way to others of our species is lost.
The flow has stopped.
We have stood in the way with our negativity and criticism.
A bit like damming the stream and the water which is living dries up.
The irony is that we could convey the same information,
That we have a different idea about something than the other person without stopping the flow.
If we will only wrap up with it our acceptance that the other person is just as worthy to feel how they do as we are to feel how we do.
That comes in our words a bit,
Our look a bit more and our tone of voice a lot.
But don't think you can do it just by window dressing,
You know,
Put on a soft voice and use a few saccharine words and phrases.
No,
That won't hack it because it's not genuine and we all see through what's not genuine pretty quickly.
It's down to attitude.
In the last talk I spoke about levelling as being one of the components of mindful flow.
Levelling is the attitude bit.
It's the way of looking out at the world and seeing others as like us,
As equivalent to us.
Different of course,
But of equal worth.
You know the word equivalent meant originally of equal worth.
We all say it of course,
Oh yes I believe all people are equal,
Which isn't true anyway because equal implies the same which obviously we are not.
But how many of us can truly say that we do not make distinctions?
Because it doesn't have to be as strong even as prejudice.
These distinctions come out in our look,
Raised eyebrows perhaps,
The words we choose,
If you say so,
Rather than that's interesting,
The tone of our voice,
Grudging agreement,
Impatient follow on.
So if the definition you use for mindfulness is the classic compassionate and non-judgmental awareness of the present,
Then levelling fits for both compassionate and non-judgmental and contributes to the flow.
We need it in order not to have others back off from us because they're not sure what they're going to get next or because they now feel silly or ignorant.
Either way there would be no flow,
Neither can there be a real dialogue and not of the components of mindful flow.
Now dialogue,
It's not just talking,
Dialogue is listening and talking.
It is giving but it is also receiving.
It is being available for contact and open to being changed.
That open to being changed is vital.
Unless that is there we are not truly listening because if it is not there,
There will be a tiny voice deep down inside us somewhere saying,
I'm right really,
You'll see.
This openness is also part of mindful awareness because awareness as it develops through mindful practice goes deeper than our five senses.
Over and above being open to what we see,
Hear,
Touch,
Smell,
We must be open to ourselves on the spiritual level which contains the essence of the us that started with the birth of another human animal and grew through the passages of our individual existence to this moment in the flow where we stand in our story so far.
So there is levelling and dialogue and then there is music-ing,
Spelt with CK.
Sometimes this one puzzles people,
Especially when I say music-ing need not,
Mostly does not mean music as we conventionally think of it.
I do believe that there is the musical,
CK again,
In all of us,
Just as there is the spiritual in all of us.
Music-ing is any intentional expression of who we are which evokes a response,
An emotional shift even if the other is a living being.
Settle into the rhythm of a walk and feel each stride not just as your leg muscles straightening to support you and your foot bending to give you spring into the next step,
But also as the counter-force of the ground which does not yield and the slither of the surface as it encounters your shoe.
There is contact and exchange and music-ing.
Listen to the rise and fall of conversation in the gathering you are part of.
Let go of the pressure to have to say something.
For a moment stop trying to collect all the words.
Notice the ebb and flow of the encounter like waves and feel the rhythm.
Notice from the faces how a few are listening but most are simply waiting to take over.
Peel your resonance with some among them,
Probably the listening ones and let this grow as you focus there and let them out of the group in your awareness and when you speak,
Speak to these and offer first your interest and then what you feel and where that takes you.
There will be a response and you will be able to receive and give more,
Music-ing with a mindful flow.
Mindful way of being,
Mindful flow,
A frame for human kindliness,
The future for our planet.
Thank you for being with me and good wishes.
