3 Pitfalls When Trying To Figure Things Out! #238

Welcome to the Soul Infused Monday Show,

Your show for an inspired and meaningful week.

Thank you for coming back to listen in,

To learn and to grow together.

Today's topic,

Three pitfalls when trying to figure out what to do in your life.

I'm talking about this today because the recent years have brought a lot of turmoil,

A lot of uncertainty,

A lot of change and a lot of unsettled energy.

A lot of people are in it still,

Are trying to figure out what's next,

Are trying to readjust,

Are trying to find new ways.

And through conversations I had over the last couple of weeks with my clients,

With my friends,

With my family,

Things that I am currently also going through.

I wanted to share these three things that I keep seeing again and again so that you are aware of them,

So that you can navigate through this process with more ease and grace.

Now maybe you are not trying to figure out your whole life right now,

But that's okay.

Maybe you have a next step.

Maybe there is a particular area in your life that you feel there is no clarity or there is an unsettledness around it.

So these three things that I'm going to share with you today will be super helpful and I'm also going to share with you the solution to each one of them.

Three pitfalls,

Three solutions.

Are you ready?

Let's go.

And before I share with you the first pitfall,

Ask yourself for a moment,

What is currently something you're trying to figure out?

What is one thing that you are currently busy with in your life?

Something that you kind of circle around?

Maybe it's work related,

Maybe it's health related,

Maybe it's relationship related,

Career related,

Purpose.

Something that you are trying to figure out and maybe you feel a bit stuck.

In the last conversations I had,

I heard things like,

I have a good job and I'm secure,

But I don't feel fulfilled.

I would like to do something else,

But I really don't know what.

Another thing is I see what I am doing wrong in my relationship that keeps me kind of really locked up in this pleasing pattern.

And even though I know what to do,

I still don't do it.

I've heard several people say,

I want to do something different in my life.

There is more.

This is not what I'm meant to do.

And yet I have no idea what I'm stressed out about figuring it out.

These are only three examples and there are hundreds of different versions of it.

But maybe you can resonate with one.

The first pitfall that I see over and over again in a lot of areas in your life is number one,

Too much pressure.

Too much pressure,

Too much pressure internally and externally.

When I say externally,

Now I want to say you are responsible for your life,

How you perceive your life,

How you respond to your life.

That's all on you.

And at the same time,

You want to be aware of the pressure that is coming from outside as well,

In case you are not aware of it.

External pressure is expectations,

Programming,

Social norms that you might want to fit in.

Any time you hear yourself or someone else say the word should,

You should do this,

You should do that,

You should be here.

When you tell yourself,

I should know better,

I should have figured out by now,

Any time you hear the word should,

It's obviously internalized now,

But it represents a pressure from outside.

The internal pressure can also be the judgment around that you should figure it all out now.

It's just too much pressure.

I see this over and over and over again.

Too much pressure is one of the things that are really making it harder to figure things out.

It makes it harder to figure things out.

Too much pressure.

Now the solution will come in a moment,

But can you relate to that?

Do you feel sometimes that you put yourself and or that the outside is all there's a lot of pressure from the outside,

And that makes it more difficult to figure things out.

So that's pitfall number one.

Too much pressure.

Now I'm an energy person.

I will tell you also the solution and I will add the energetical piece with it.

You might be able to apply it right away.

And maybe if you are not well,

You know,

If that's something that you don't know yet,

You might want to learn more about energy.

But simply deciding to take the pressure off can be extremely valuable.

So pitfall number one,

Too much pressure.

And the solution is to take the pressure off.

Now you might ask,

Yes,

Sonia,

How?

How am I taking the pressure off?

Good question.

From an energetical perspective,

When you are under too much pressure,

You are spinning your energy,

You are stressed out,

You are literally outside of yourself and you are not centered.

You are in a most of the time in a fight or flight response and you breathe very shallow and you are in a past phase,

Busy,

Busy,

Mental,

Mental,

Mental,

Trying hard,

Trying hard.

The energy is like a frantic energy.

Now the solution is taking the pressure off by first setting the intention.

Then take three deep breaths.

That you can do right now while you keep listening to me.

You bring your energy back in,

You want to center yourself,

You want to be present in your own energy centered.

Because if you are not,

You are like a headless chicken out there running blind.

Without knowing what to do and where to go.

So take the pressure off,

Get centered,

Bring your energy back in,

Ground yourself,

Breathe,

Breathe slowly and consciously and come back to the present moment.

Come back in so that from a center place you can actually look and see,

Okay,

What is mine,

What comes from the outside,

Where is the pressure that I can release and what's a good amount of pressure that I need in order to move forward.

I can say more to it.

However,

For today,

For this Soul Infused Monday show to keep it short,

This is one pitfall and one solution.

Too much pressure and take the pressure off.

Pitfall number two.

Pitfall number two is comparison.

So you are trying to figure something out.

So you are already stressed out,

You already have too much pressure and then what you do unconsciously or consciously,

You compare yourself with other people.

You compare yourself and you might look at the things that you would like to have or you think all have it figured out.

You know that whole thing about the green looks better on the other side in the other garden.

You are comparing yourself and therefore you are most likely also not measuring up or you're judging yourself or you are simply busy with someone else's life and therefore you're not able to figure your own stuff out.

You can though use comparison also in a positive way for inspiration or motivation.

However,

I see that very often comparison is a pitfall because it creates judgment and a feeling of not good enough.

And social media is a big one.

So when you look at people,

The people that you follow,

The stories that you watch,

Check in,

Is this making me feel good?

Is this supporting me?

Is this expanding me?

Or am I comparing myself and am I not measuring up?

So pitfall number two is comparing yourself.

And the solution obviously is stop comparing yourself.

Often easier said than done.

And here's how you can start or how a few tips on how you can do that.

First of all,

Now you are aware of,

You want to remind yourself of these things so that you are intentional when you are on the pursuit of figuring something out.

And by the way,

You do not have to figure it all out at once.

Now and alone.

Take the pressure off.

I just felt in this community right now,

This anxiety around,

Oh my God,

But I have to figure it out now.

Take a breath.

Relax your body.

Go back to step number one.

Release the pressure.

Back to center.

Relax.

Stop comparing.

And here's how.

Anytime you catch yourself,

Because you will keep comparing yourself,

It's not going to just switch overnight.

When you catch yourself comparing,

First of all,

Take a breath.

Notice without judgment and then turn it around.

What I mean by that,

Imagine this.

You walk around,

You have your own garden,

You have like grass that is somewhat green and you walk next to the neighbor's garden and you see and you focus on theirs and see,

Oh my God,

That green is so much better,

So much richer.

He's having it much more together.

Or she,

How does she do it?

I'm not good.

Whatever the whole shebang is that we get into,

We get totally caught up in it.

Now when you catch yourself,

You've got to catch yourself first.

When you catch yourself,

You turn away,

You turn around.

You're literally turning away from that green grass that is not yours and you focus on yourself.

So you turn away.

That means you turn inside and then you can ask questions and I hope you take notes.

What is working?

How am I taking care of this garden of mine and how can I water my garden so that it flourishes and becomes green?

What help do I need?

What do I get to do?

And you focus inward instead of comparing yourself outwards.

When you are in comparison,

You are also not grounded within yourself and most likely you are also in judgment in some way.

And if you're not great,

You pick and choose what resonates today with you.

Pitfall number two,

Comparison.

And the solution is to go away from comparison and turn back into you.

Focus on what it is that is important to you.

Focus and ask the questions that get you present,

That get you centered and that get you to more clarity around what it is that you want.

Much more to say to that.

I'm going to leave it at this for now.

And if you are challenged in a way and you need more support,

And I'm going to talk about this in a moment,

Get help.

You don't have to figure this out by yourself.

We come to number three that ties into what I just said.

And pitfall number three,

And that's the biggest one oftentimes,

Is that if you don't do the inner work,

If you don't do the inner work that helps you to discover what is it that I actually want and what is holding me back.

In general,

And if you followed me here for a while,

I stand for deep inner work,

Investing in yourself and getting help.

Have a mentor,

Have a coach,

Have a therapist,

Have someone that you work closely together,

Invest in yourself.

And if you are choosing not to invest monetary at this point,

For whatever reason,

Invest your time and free things and educate yourself and use tools to continue the journey of growth.

Because the third pitfall that I keep seeing is that people don't do the inner work.

They keep talking about it.

They keep reading a book.

They might listen to a podcast.

They are somehow aware that something is missing or blocking,

But they don't do the inner work.

And they're trying very hard to do it themselves.

So if that's you,

You have you can choose.

Either you work with someone or you choose to do more around free resources,

But stay consistent.

Doing the inner work is the most important thing.

So if you're having a hard time figuring out what to do with your life,

Or if you're having a hard time right now figuring out one next step or something in your life.

There's two things that you want to find out.

First,

What is it that you really want?

And often we don't even know that.

So someone else helping you to find that out is crucial.

Most people when I talk to them for the first time,

Potential clients,

My clients that I currently work with,

When I have a first conversation with them and I ask them,

What is it that you want?

Most of the time,

Most of the time they do not have the clear answer.

So I help them to become clear.

And once you are clear on what it is that you really want,

Then you also want to find out what's stopping you from doing it.

And when you stay stuck there,

You want to have someone that helps you unpack and reveal what's holding you back.

Maybe it's trauma,

Maybe it's a limiting belief,

Maybe it's stuck energy,

And help you navigate through that so that you can figure out and not only figure out but also execute on it.

Because maybe you do know what you want.

Maybe you do know what you want,

But you're still not completely doing it so something is holding you back.

Or maybe you do not even know what you want.

Either way,

Pitfall number three is not doing the deeper inner work and the solution,

Obviously,

Is simple,

Is doing the work.

Get help.

You do not need to do this alone.

These are the three pitfalls that I've seen lately coming again and again and again.

And obviously when it comes to inner work there's so much more to say,

And there's resources.

I'm live every Monday for five years,

Pick and choose.

Look what is the topic that you need right now.

Meditate or exercise or listen to a book,

Journal,

Do whatever works for you.

Stay consistent in your inner work journey.

Consistency is key.

So I'm going to repeat in a moment and want to hear your biggest takeaway.

What is your biggest takeaway from today's Soul Infuse Monday show?

What's your biggest aha moment?

What is resonating with you?

What is your biggest takeaway?

And please leave me a comment or a review or send me a message.

What is your biggest takeaway?

And then also if you do feel that you want help,

That you're ready to work with someone and most likely you've done already work before and it's time to dig deeper.

And you would like to find out if I'm the right person.

Maybe you resonate with me.

I do work with private clients and I have an opening.

So reach out to me,

Send me a message.

Let's have a conversation.

Let's find out and figure out together instead of you doing it alone.

And if it's not me,

Maybe it's someone else.

But I am currently opening up a spot to work with me privately one on one.

So if you resonate with me,

No strings attached.

Let's have a conversation.

Send me a message.

And I'm going to go over your comments to share a few of your biggest takeaways.

What is your biggest takeaway for today?

Teresa,

In a word,

No comparison,

Biggest takeaway.

Too much pressure,

Biggest takeaway.

Great.

These Soul Infused Monday shows are also a huge opportunity to ask me questions.

Anything that is related to the topic,

Anything that might have a follow up question from what I shared.

Use this opportunity.

Use these Mondays shows for an opportunity to get personal feedback from me and get help in that way,

Too.

I'm here for you.

I'm here to support you.

I'm here to help you.

And I know navigating through this life is not always easy.

You are not alone.

Another takeaway is the sentence.

How can I water my garden to make it green?

Beautiful takeaway.

Thank you for sharing that.

That's a really good one.

How can I water my garden to make it green instead of being focused on someone else's garden outside of your house?

Beautiful.

Another takeaway is to be focused on keeping in my own lane.

Yes.

So,

So great.

So great.

Wonderful.

Thank you so much for being here today.

I love you.

I appreciate you.

It's a pleasure to be here with you.

You are not alone.

Come back every Monday simply to connect,

To level up,

To uplift,

To take a deep breath,

To take time for yourself.

I'm excited to see you next Monday again for a new episode of Soul-Infused Monday.

Until then,

I'm sending you much love.

Take the pressure off.

Stop comparing yourself and do the enough work.

Much love.