Hello dears!
I will share with you time to time something that I became aware of in the preceding period,
A point of view,
A habit or operation pattern that I noticed and the way I handled it,
Or the information I gained from the situation.
I hope these insights will be a contribution to you.
This month I bring you a story which didn't happen directly to me,
But through it I can show you the first steps of the process of changing a life situation.
I have a friend whom I have known for a long time.
We live quite far from each other and we usually talk just 1-2 times a year.
She sent me a message and we started a conversation.
Her past few years were packed with a lot of heavy and emotional stories.
Loss of a relative,
Financial difficulties,
The exhausting task of managing a business while taking care of her broader family as well due to their hard situation,
Feeling alone,
Feeling like she was losing the relationship with her husband and son,
Feeling tired,
Deceived and hopeless.
First she told me that she has to make a lot of decisions this year and she is hesitant about what to choose.
I asked her whether it really is the case that she doesn't know what would work for her or she knows it inside but due to various reasons she doesn't dare to choose it.
It often happens that our reasoning mind,
Our fears,
The need to be accepted and validated by others,
Defer us from choosing what is true for us.
And if we let these energies control us,
We remain stuck in a situation.
But as we continued the conversation and she shared her grievances,
I realized that she feels completely lost and she is covered by so many emotions,
Projections,
Expectations,
Judgments of her own and of others that it is impossible for her to see clearly.
She can't access her inner knowing of what is true for her in this swirling mass of energies.
In such situations,
Our target should be to start to dissipate this enormous cloud pressing on us and also to start adding things that bring joy into our life.
So how should we start?
It is worth taking a notebook and writing down all our resentment,
Annoyance,
Spoken or unspoken points of view,
Opinions regarding the situation.
Like in her case for example.
My son can't find her happy mother.
If I give up the business I am running,
It will put a big burden on my husband.
It is not possible to sell a business in these hard times.
My family has put a big weight on me.
We were cheated financially by other family members.
And so on.
Then go through this list item by item and question them.
Is it true?
Can I be 100% certain of this?
Is it possible to see this from a different perspective?
It is important to mention that by questioning these points of view,
The aim is not to ignore,
Devalue or invalidate them.
These are real issues for the person and going through them could feel hard.
The aim of this exercise is to start to gently loosen the solidity of this wholeness.
We don't sugarcoat it,
But are willing to be open to look behind,
To notice that one thing can be seen from many perspectives.
You don't have to change anything now.
You don't have to forgive anybody.
Just look at each point without judging yourself for having such a point of view or for creating such a situation and have this intention.
Okay,
I am open now to discover something I haven't noticed yet regarding this.
Could it be that there is even something great,
That there is some game behind this?
Just ponder each item with this curiosity and openness.
That is enough for the time being.
Assign at least one week for this.
Give yourself some quiet time.
Find a few minutes daily to write down what occurred to you in the meantime.
Writing down your thoughts,
Disciplines and focuses the mind and prevents it from wandering around.
So it makes the process more effective.
And then,
Live your daily life but start add things which bring you joy to it.
Live for a while the need and the urge to solve this situation.
By questioning and turning to your points of view with openness,
Change has already started even if it is not visible yet.
Okay,
I allow the situation to be what it is.
What can I add to my life that brings me joy?
Going out for a walk,
Putting a nice picture on the wall,
Making dinner for your friend,
Planting a flower,
Watching a great film.
Anything that then and there in that moment evokes joy in you,
Makes you feel enthusiastic.
The more of these you add,
The better you will feel.
Questioning our points of view with openness and choosing joy will transform the situation and will bring the awareness of what the way forward is and what you actually desire.
When we want to find a perfect solution that will solve everything right away but we feel we can't figure out anything despite thinking about it all the time,
It is like hoping to see clearly through super dirty glass.
Openness and questions work like a viper.
This will not give you the answers but will enable you to see and you will notice the possibilities.
The information,
The awareness will arise in you spontaneously.
And when you are choosing things that bring you joy,
You are finding yourself in your choices as you are joy and serenity by nature.
So I encourage you to try this if you are in a confusing,
Overwhelming situation and I would be happy to hear about your experience with it.
Take care,
Bye!
