But Why? For Love, Of Course

If you think the point is to get something in return,

Then yes,

There's things to fear,

Such as you might not get it.

But the more you investigate the nature of being human and the opportunity of being human,

You recognize it's not about getting anything at all.

It's about sharing.

It's about giving.

It's about being.

What is there to fear in being what you already are here now?

Isn't it interesting how fear can't enter the equation,

Imagining things about the future,

But just be here present?

In preparation for today's session,

I wrote down some pre-reflections,

And you might have seen them posted somewhere.

But I was sharing an experience from my walk this morning.

I was walking through the city here in Lisbon,

And it was super quiet,

No cars,

Much too early for any activity.

The stars were out,

And there was this sliver of a moon right above me.

And I whispered out loud,

My God,

You're gorgeous.

Just captivated for a moment,

Seeing this tiny curved little stripe we call the moon,

Out there however far away.

And there was this comedic dialogue where I ask,

But why?

But why?

And the immediate response was,

But for love,

Of course.

But why?

But why is the moon the moon?

Why does the moon do what it does?

Why is it so small right now,

And then it will be twice as big,

And then it will be full eventually?

Why does it appear to come and appear to go?

But why?

But why?

But why?

And the conclusion that I come to,

Which easily could just sound like insanity for many,

But for love,

Of course.

There's so many perceived potential mysteries in life that essentially ask the question,

Why does life do what it does?

And we can get distracted trying to figure out these questions in what we might consider to be a pragmatic way.

Like if we could just understand the mathematical equation of why the moon does what it does,

Then we could finally relax.

If we could only answer all the but whys,

If only we could figure out this life thing,

Then we would know it's safe and okay to enjoy it.

And it's not always about life,

But it is in some way.

When we look at our own experience,

Maybe even looking at ourselves,

And we say,

But why?

But why?

But why?

And I find the conclusion is the same.

And playfully speaking in this time together today,

There is a playful hope that I might find the appropriate poetic words to illustrate this conclusion of but for love,

Of course.

And I know in many ways I'll fail,

But that's okay.

That's okay.

Because this is just play.

It's fun to try.

And naturally to address this,

Once again we have to look at the fundamental spiritual invitation throughout time,

Throughout all the different traditions and all the different paths,

That at the core of these pointings and these messages,

It is a open invitation to wake up,

To open your eyes and see what is real and true.

And upon waking up to see what is real and true,

There is,

For a lack of a better word,

A heaven that exposes itself,

A heaven that is seen,

A liberation from a dream that drowns itself in suffering.

The invitation has been to see life,

See what's really happening beyond what you imagine to be happening,

See what you've already been given before you go running away from this moment chasing something that will only prove to be imaginary.

This is to wake up to life.

You know,

We could sit here for hours upon hours asking,

But what about this?

What about this?

And what about this?

And that's all fine.

It's beautiful.

However,

Let me give an answer that answers all questions.

Why?

So that this moment can be this moment.

Why does the moon do what it does?

Why do the stars shine as they do?

Why does the weather change in the ways it changes?

Why is there this and why is there that?

So that this moment can be.

And naturally,

Understandably,

The mind can say,

Well,

That's not very exciting.

And then in the most compassionate and loving way,

There's a gentle response that says,

Well,

Then my dear,

You don't really see this moment.

You don't see what's really here.

You don't see what you already have.

You don't see what you really are.

Thus is the invitation to be still and to connect with reality.

Because you know what you find in reality,

In what's true?

In one way,

We can say you will find that there's nothing missing.

You will find that there's no conflict.

You will find that there's no judgment.

You will find that there's nothing to fear.

You will find a blank canvas,

An empty landscape,

With the sweetest of encouragement that says,

Paint whatever the heart longs to paint.

In other words,

An invitation that says,

Play.

Experience this temporary opportunity of being what we will call human.

Being a human existing within this miracle that the mind will never fully comprehend.

Wonderfully so.

That's not the point.

To figure it out.

That's an infinite game that never ends.

The point is to go explore.

Which is to go on a great adventure,

Discovering the many aspects of what you are.

Which is really another way of saying,

Discover something beautiful within what you are and then go share it with the world.

Which is another way of saying,

Just love.

But I'm afraid to love.

Well,

Come back to reality and see what's true.

And see how adorable it is that we are afraid to love.

In the same way that says,

I'm scared to share the things I love.

What if somebody doesn't like it?

What if somebody judges it?

What if somebody says,

I don't want it?

Well then you miss the point of sharing.

These fears that you have,

They're an innocent misunderstanding of the point.

If you think the point is to get something in return,

Then yes,

There's things to fear such as you might not get it.

But the more you investigate the nature of being human and the opportunity of being human,

You recognize it's not about getting anything at all.

It's about sharing.

It's about giving.

It's about being.

What is there to fear in being what you already are here now?

Isn't it interesting how fear can't enter the equation until you start imagining things about the future?

But to just be here,

Present,

There's nothing to fear.

We can get so understandably lost and confused about the point.

Mostly because there's been the conditioning,

Right?

We've been told our whole lives what the point of life is,

Which is the future.

We've been sold a story that says the point of life is about getting something to prove your worth and value.

Which is also like saying right now,

You have limited worth and value.

It's saying worth and value is lacking and so you must hurry up and get to the future so you can capture it.

And so we ask gently,

How's that going?

The experience of a worth and value that is lacking is simply the experience of not seeing what you really are.

In the same way of going into the forest and looking at this,

That and the other and saying oh,

That's lacking,

Oh,

It shouldn't be like that.

Clearly you don't see the forest.

You don't see what life is doing.

You're seeing what you think it should be doing so that you can get what you want in the future.

So in that context,

Yes,

It looks like it's lacking.

But just because it looks that way doesn't mean it is that way.

And that's a very important point.

If it looks like it's lacking,

It's because we see it as lacking.

Doesn't mean it is.

A lot of these questions,

But why,

But why,

But why?

Compassionately they're asking from the assumption that there's something that stands in the way between you and what you want in the future.

On the other end of that question is if only.

If only it was how I wanted it to be,

Then I could get what I want.

Which is like saying then I could be enough.

Which is also like saying I don't see that I'm enough.

And so we question life where it appears that life must have made a mistake.

Do you understand,

I mean even to use these words is silly because it's so beyond the words,

But the intricate detail in everything in order for this to be this.

If off by just a degree,

It all explodes.

It all collapses.

And not just now but throughout all of time.

What I'm hinting at is there's an extraordinary miracle happening right now that allows this to be this.

Life to be life.

To be alive.

And gently here we are as human beings lost in our imaginary stories of inadequacy.

Taking things seriously that simply are not serious at all.

It's like we are sleeping through this life,

Having a dream of this character who has to struggle to survive as it desperately tries to get to an imaginary future that never arrives.

And then ultimately one day looks back and says,

Oh,

I wish I would have enjoyed myself.

I wish I would have danced more.

I wish I would have let my heart sing.

I wish I would have allowed myself to be alive.

And if that's the case,

Then be alive right now.

And that beingness of aliveness can be a great honoring of the miracle,

Which is a full body,

Full heart,

And full mind expression of love.

Where the honoring is simply a voice that shouts out to life and says,

I love you.

Even though there's things that happen that I don't understand,

There's things that I can't currently comprehend,

But this miracle is so big I can't expect myself to figure it out.

So if it's raining,

I'm going to trust that it's supposed to be raining.

If it's windy,

I'm going to trust that it's supposed to be windy.

And if the seasons change before I'm ready for them to change,

I'm going to trust that it's time for them to change.

If that's what's happening,

Then I'm going to trust that life knows exactly what it's doing in order to allow life to be life.

Because I recognize that this life thing isn't about me getting what I want.

This life thing is about life being life.

For life is the prize.

To be alive is the gift.

It's not some imaginary sense of self-importance that will forever remain imaginary,

Not existing in life anywhere.

If you look at the nature of suffering,

And again,

This is not an invitation to project your suffering onto others or to look at other people's suffering,

Which you just see your own projection,

But to see your direct experience,

Your experience of suffering.

And for me,

What I recognize is that whenever there is suffering,

I'm not seeing reality clearly.

I'm not seeing myself clearly.

There's a innocent misunderstanding that has forgotten the point of life and is trying to hold on to something that is not mine to hold on to.

And as I hold on to it,

It hurts,

But I'm scared to let it go because I don't see the magnitude of support that I'm swimming in called life.

And then one day I finally let go and surrender and to discover that life was holding me the whole time.

Thus is the lesson that I don't need to hold on.

I can let the season change.

I can let life be life.

You see,

The suffering is in response to something being out of alignment with the way of life.

And with regards to suffering,

Which in many ways is a death of what I'm holding on to,

Which is also a projection of a worth and value that is severely lacking,

These are perceptions that do not see the truth of life.

In fact,

They are perceptions which deny yourself the truth of life.

So it hurts to get your attention.

It hurts to wake you up.

In the same way that if you are walking out in the garden and you see a beautiful rose and you reach out and you grab it by the stem and it hurts,

The tighter you squeeze it hurts more and more.

And then through a little bit of awareness you discover that the stem is full of thorns.

It's not meant to be captured.

But you could throw your tantrum and say,

But I want it anyway.

Keep holding on.

But it hurts.

Well,

You got a choice here.

And then you eventually realize,

Oh,

I don't need to capture it.

I can just let it be the beautiful thing that it is.

I can give it back to life because I'm already whole and complete.

You see,

We only want to capture things when we don't see our inherent wholeness.

We capture these things in an effort to add to ourselves as if we're missing something.

But when you see that you're not missing anything,

There's nothing to hold on to.

And so you see how this perspective of missing something is out of alignment with the truth of life,

The truth of you,

And it doesn't serve you.

And so it hurts.

The pain is an alarm that says something is out of alignment.

And naturally,

As human beings,

And I say this in the most compassionate and gentle way,

Talking to myself,

What we do is we grab the stem full of thorns and it hurts.

And so then we take some painkillers to make the pain go away.

Rather than looking at what's really going on,

We numb the pain so that we can keep holding on.

In part because we want it so badly,

But the other part is that it's fueled by a fear of not getting it,

Of not having it.

And there's so many ways this plays out in the human experience.

But what's important to recognize is that when there is an experience of disharmony,

Emotionally or physically,

With sickness or disease,

There's something out of alignment with the harmony of life.

It's not a judgment.

It's not an attempt to make you do this or that.

It's just the way of things.

As in,

If you touch a hot stove,

It's going to hurt.

Why?

To get your attention so you take your hand off the stove.

It's life saying,

Hey,

I love you.

Pay attention.

I want you to continue on in wellness.

And if you keep your hand on the stove,

You're going to lose function of your hand.

So here's a temporary pain response that snaps you back to reality to take your hand off the stove.

But what we do as human beings is we experience the pain and we say,

Oh,

It means I'm an idiot.

Life says,

I didn't say that,

My dear.

That's suffering.

Pain and suffering,

It's very two different things.

Pain is to touch the hot stove and to recognize that it hurts.

And so you stop touching the stove.

Suffering is touch a hot stove,

Experience the pain,

And then interpret it as meaning you're not enough.

Meaning something's wrong with you.

Meaning you're unlovable.

It's silly.

It's not true.

And you know,

I can speak to this again to my own experience.

And remember,

You guys are just here listening to me talk to myself,

Looking at my own experience and sharing what I see.

But in my dances with physical pain or mental health issues or chronic pain,

These have all been alarms that have pointed me home to being in harmony with life.

Sometimes it took a while to get the message,

But ultimately it was attempting to wake me up.

The misunderstanding was that I thought it was in the way,

Right?

And so I would curse it.

So I would reject it.

I blame it.

Rather than asking deeply,

What are you here to show me?

And of course,

Such an inquiry with a depth of sincerity invites me to take a moment to let go of where I think I'm going in life and just come home to this moment and start over and ask what's really going on here.

From a practical standpoint,

Unbeknownst to us humans,

We are continually poisoning ourselves without even being aware of it.

There's a lot of different ways that we can poison ourselves.

And when you put poison in what you are,

Which will be out of harmony with the way of life,

Pain will be the result.

As a way of saying,

What you're putting in me is not working,

And so it will manifest somehow to get your attention.

And so again,

We have to start over.

So why is pain the way that it is?

But for love,

Of course,

To bring you home.

And in my own experience,

I playfully realized that this is a discovery in many ways I have to explore in myself,

For myself,

And not listen to so-called experts.

That's all I'm going to say about that for now.

But let's take a moment and open up for questions,

If there are any questions.

And I'm not going to scroll back through a bunch of the comments that came in,

But if you'd like to put your question in now,

Now I'm paying attention to the comment section.

And then if none come up,

I can ramble a little bit more before we do the meditation.

Ando asks,

What is your relationship to silence?

Silence,

And again,

These are just words,

Right?

So whatever I say,

You don't really hear what I say.

You hear your interpretation.

And what I'm attempting to express is not your interpretation,

But my relationship to silence,

To speak about it in this moment is to say that silence is my real home.

It's where I'm really from.

It's what I really am.

And in the silence is everything I'm looking for,

Which is nothing.

That was a little bit cryptic,

But I feel profound also.

Isn't that amazing about this dance that we're having together where I'm saying something and right now there's over a hundred people who hear something different?

Isn't that fascinating?

So who's hearing the right thing?

Who's really hearing me?

No one.

Everyone's hearing themselves.

Everyone's hearing what they hear,

Which in a very beautiful way,

You're all talking to yourself.

And me,

In recognizing that nobody really hears me,

No one really understands me,

Gives me an immense freedom to just sit here and be deeply sincere.

For the sake of my own benefit.

It's like allowing myself to be real.

That feels really good.

And when you think other people can hear you,

Like you want them to understand you,

It's very difficult to just be real.

Because we're concerned about,

Do they understand?

What do they think?

So many things to think about rather than just being.

Like when I speak,

There's not much deliberation or thought going into what I say.

I just say whatever is the most sincere thing to say in that given moment.

And then somehow it puts itself together.

And for some it sounds coherent,

For others it sounds like nonsense.

But for me it's beautiful.

And that's what matters,

Because then my moments become beautiful.

And I release the world to see and hear what they see,

Knowing that they don't see or hear me.

That's great.

Melissa asks,

What's your recommendation for stepping back and seeing a situation for what it is when you're overwhelmed and in pain?

Great question,

Melissa.

Thank you.

What's your recommendation for stepping back and seeing a situation for what it is when you're overwhelmed and in pain?

What arises for me right now in hearing that question is,

Do the best that you can.

And then forgive yourself for not living up to your silly expectation.

For me,

There's the invitation to ask that simple question,

Can I discern the difference between what's actually happening and what I think is happening?

And then I ask,

Okay,

What do I think is happening?

And you know what the answer is all the time in some way or another,

If there's pain?

What do I think is happening?

I'm being rejected.

Or I might be rejected.

That's what I think is happening right now.

Okay.

But what's really happening?

Nothing.

Practically speaking,

This person isn't responding to my text messages.

Damn it.

That hurts.

Why?

Because I think I'm being rejected.

Okay,

That's what you think is happening.

What's really happening?

And you get still.

And again,

The more present you come back to this moment,

You realize there's nothing happening in this moment.

It's just,

It's all stories.

And those stories go deep.

Even the story of who you think that other person is,

That person is not who you think they are.

And so when you say,

That person isn't texting me,

That person that you're thinking about doesn't even exist,

Because that's your idea of that person.

That person can't text you and can't not text you.

It's just a story.

Or you can ask,

What do I think this means?

And you can see,

Oh,

I think it means that I'm unworthy.

I think it means that I'm not being valued.

Okay,

What does it really mean?

And you see that it means nothing beyond your meaning.

You put the meaning there.

And so you make contact with that space where there's no meaning.

And see that whatever meaning shows itself is a meaning you put there.

Because so often our assumption is that the meaning we create is there outside of our creation of it.

We think it's real rather than imagined.

And the more you can see that it doesn't really mean that,

Then there's a relaxation that can arise.

That it at least loosens your grip on the meaning.

Liz follows up and says,

But sometimes so difficult to untangle from the story.

Absolutely.

Which is why stillness is so important.

Which is why a sincere,

I guess I'll say the word spiritual practice can be helpful.

But just those words alone can be so silly.

And we get silly ideas about what we should be doing or shouldn't be doing as it relates to a spiritual practice,

Rather than simply finding something that you deeply enjoy,

Given your presence to,

And being present.

And also it's a question of willingness and devotion.

Where is your devotion?

Are you here to see what's true?

Or are you here to build upon your story?

And most people have a conditioned energy in their life that's focused on building a story.

So much so that they might say they want the truth of things,

But as long as it doesn't interrupt their story.

And if that's the case,

Then it'll be extremely difficult to unravel the story and connect with what's true.

Because to unravel the story,

You have to be willing to let go of the story.

And if part of you wants the story,

Then you don't really want it to unravel.

And so oftentimes we just need some more experience in the pain of holding on to the story so that we see directly for ourselves that it's not working.

And then yes,

Sometimes these confusions can grab a hold and seem to overtake us.

And that happens.

Be gentle on yourself.

Because again,

A lot of what makes this overly complicated is the judgment for the experience you're having.

Forgetting the truth of what you are is not a big deal.

But when you judge yourself for forgetting the truth of what you are,

Then it becomes a big deal.

I think it is time for us to do the guided meditation.

And then we will continue on in our day with the spirit of love and play.

Guided meditation.

You guys ready to begin?

Okay,

Let's begin.

Inviting ourselves back home to where everything comes from.

All noise comes from the silence.

All form birthed from stillness.

All thought sprung from an empty mind.

Let's return to that place we will call home.

We're going to take three deep breaths.

And on the inhale is a return to presence.

And on the exhale is the release of everything not here right now.

Let's breathe.

Recognize the vastness of this empty space.

If your eyes are closed,

Recognize that there is no end to the awareness within you.

There is no boundary.

There is no wall.

There is no line.

And if any of these things ever arise,

They are only imagined to be there.

Beyond the imagination,

To recognize what is real.

You will find an infinite landscape.

A playground that allows you to imagine whatever.

Let's come home and remember the infinite landscape.

The stillness.

The silence.

We're going to take three more deep breaths.

Three more deep breaths.

And just allow ourselves to appreciate the emptiness of this moment.

Let's breathe.

Thank you for meditating with me today.