Embracing Your Inner Parts: A Journey To Self-Understanding

Today I want to talk about something that often surprises people new to IFS.

The idea that having parts is perfectly normal.

In fact,

It's human.

If you've ever felt like your mind is contradicting itself,

Part of you wanting to go out,

Another part wanting to stay home,

You're not broken.

That's just your system speaking.

Let me share a personal story.

Years ago I had been working non-stop trying to keep everyone around me happy.

I was taking on way too many responsibilities.

When something went wrong,

And it did,

I found myself sitting in my car gripping the steering wheel and feeling completely stuck.

One part of me was shouting,

You should have done better.

Another part just wanted to shut it all down and quit.

And another part felt quietly ashamed,

Wondering if I was even worthy of trying again.

Back then I would have just called that being overwhelmed.

But what I know now is that these were distinct parts of me,

Each trying to protect me from pain in its own way.

My inner critic believed it could motivate me through harsh words.

My avoider wanted me to quit before I failed worse.

My ashamed part carried stories from the past about not measuring up.

When I finally turned toward these parts with curiosity instead of fear,

Something shifted.

I could see how hard they were working to protect me,

Even if their ways weren't helpful.

That helped me soften.

I could say to those parts,

Thank you.

I see why you're here.

You don't have to do this alone anymore.

And that has really changed everything.

So today I invite you to notice which part's leading right now.

What does it want for you?

What's it afraid might happen if it stepped back?

You don't need to fix it.

Just start noticing.

That's the first step to a more peaceful inner world.