Today we're diving into a topic that so many of us struggle with.
Self-love.
It's easy to show kindness to others,
But how often do we extend that same kindness to ourselves?
If you've ever battled self-doubt,
Criticized yourself harshly,
Or felt unworthy,
You're not alone.
And today we're going to get curious about that.
I've always found it easy to support and uplift the people around me.
If a friend is struggling,
I listen.
If they're being hard on themselves,
I remind them of their worth.
I can see their beauty,
Their effort,
And their goodness so clearly.
But when it comes to myself,
That's a different story.
I catch myself being overly critical,
Replaying mistakes in my head,
And holding myself to standards I would never expect from anyone else.
If a friend needed a break,
I'd tell them to rest.
But when I'm exhausted,
I push myself harder,
As if I have to earn the right to be kind to myself.
When I'm talking to others who may be feeling down,
Or clients who are feeling down,
I realize I'm not practicing what I preach.
I tell others things like,
You deserve love even on your hardest days.
And sometimes it hits me.
Why do I struggle so much to believe this about myself?
That realization made me pause.
I knew I couldn't continue being my own biggest critic,
While encouraging others to show themselves kindness.
So I decided,
And still choose to be intentional.
Some days are better than others,
But to be intentional about shifting my self-talk.
Instead of immediately criticizing myself,
I'm starting to ask,
What if I responded to myself the way I would to a friend?
Sometimes it's good to even ask this in the case of responding to our partner or our kids too.
And it's not easy,
Especially at first,
But over time,
It becomes more natural.
That shift has allowed me to start treating myself with the same care and compassion I so easily give to others.
And that's why too,
I'm in my own IFS work and see my own practitioner on an ongoing basis,
Because we're all growing and learning.
And an important thing too is,
I began to see and continue to see my inner critic,
Not as an enemy,
But as a part of me that needs love too.
Instead of pushing that part away,
I listen.
I acknowledge its fears and reassure it with kindness rather than judgment.
So what exactly is self-love?
Self-love isn't about being perfect or always feeling confident.
It's about accepting yourself,
Flaws,
Mistakes and all.
It's about realizing that you're inherently worthy just as you are.
A big part of self-love is how we talk to ourselves.
We all have an inner critic,
Maybe many of them,
But we also have an inner nurturer,
The voice that reminds us we're enough.
Which voice do you listen to more?
Remember,
The inner critic isn't something to silence,
It's something to understand.
And as we seek to understand,
From my experience,
That critic softens and we can nurture it with love.
Let's talk about three ways you can start deepening your self-love today.
Practice self-compassion.
When you make a mistake,
Pause and ask yourself,
What would I say to a friend in this situation?
Instead of saying,
I'm such a failure,
Try,
I'm learning and that's okay.
Rewrite your inner narrative.
Catch those negative thoughts and challenge them.
If you find yourself thinking I'm not good enough,
It may be helpful to reframe it.
Say something like,
I'm doing my best and I'm worthy as I am.
Recognize that your inner critic may be trying to protect you and gently reassure it instead of fighting it.
Daily acts of self-love.
This could be journaling,
Taking a mindful walk,
Setting boundaries,
Or simply placing your hand on your heart and saying,
I love you.
And finally,
Have a conversation with your inner critic.
Thank it for its concern,
But remind it that you're safe and loved.
Let's take a moment right now.
Place your hand on your heart.
Close your eyes if you can,
And if it's safe,
Take a deep breath.
Now say this to yourself.
I am enough.
I am worthy of love exactly as I am.
Now,
How does that feel?
Maybe it's uncomfortable at first,
But the more you and I practice this,
The more natural it becomes.
Self-love is a journey,
Not a destination.
Some days are going to be easier than others,
But every time you choose kindness toward yourself,
You take a step closer to the love you deserve.
I'd love to hear from you.
What's one way you're practicing self-love this week?
Send me a message with your thoughts.
And until our next session,
Be kind to yourself.
You deserve it.
Transcribed by https://otter.
Ai
