Find Love After 40 Series:Valentine's Day Meditation + Talk

Welcome everyone to our Valentine's day meditation and talk.

I'm really excited to be here.

You know,

You want to manifest someone who's amazing and you want to know what to do next or what's your next step.

You have some trust issues or some things from the past that you want to clear away.

Any of these are really great intentions.

I'm Eleanor.

I'm a dating and relationship coach,

And I've been coaching women for the last 15 years.

I started off in child and family services and became a nutritionist and then moved into the health and wellness field.

And I found that everyone I was working with wanted to talk about relationships.

And so I'd be,

You know,

Okay,

Let's talk about your health.

Let's talk about,

You know,

And they'd say,

Well,

I'm having all these issues.

My relationship really went with where the energy was taking me.

And I've also struggled with my own personal experiences.

I was in many different dysfunctional relationships.

I had troubles with boundaries and people pleasing and all these kinds of things.

And I had to actually work my own process of stepping into my power and finally meeting and marrying the love of my life who I am now married to in my forties.

So that took me quite a while.

And I want to save you the time and a lot of heartache that I went through going through this process.

We don't know what we don't know.

So a lot of times we get really frustrated with why do I keep creating the same thing over and over again in my relationships?

Why do I keep attracting the same kind of person over and over again?

Why do I keep bumping up against this?

You know,

Whatever it's called,

Like I call it the merry-go-round and it's just,

It's dizzying and nauseating.

And so I'm going to give you a way that you can actually try to access that hidden pattern and belief system that might be running the show behind the scenes.

So whether it's subconscious or something that you haven't uncovered is to be able to bring forward.

What is previously hidden for you so that you can actually see what you haven't seen before and see something in a different way so that you can move forward and create new experiences for yourself.

Techniques to uncover family patterns and hidden limiting beliefs that are,

Excuse me,

Keeping you insecure,

Draining your energy and confidence and relationships and dating.

So I want you to think about the last couple of relationships,

Or if you aren't thinking about relationships,

You can think about the family history.

What is,

What are some themes that come up for you when you think about that?

Hi,

Good to meet you.

One set of patterns that I noticed in myself is that I tend to get attached very quickly.

And then when that initial burn wears off,

I am terrified of being trapped,

Being trapped where I don't want to be.

That is a repeating pattern that I've found multiple times.

Yeah.

What would you say is the main emotion in that theme?

What,

What comes up when you think about that?

Well,

The initial becoming attached very quickly,

I think is wanting a sense of belonging.

And then when I realized that it's not all that it was cracked up to be that I didn't take the time to look at the whole picture first,

Then there's just a lot of fear.

Yeah.

A lot of fear.

Yeah.

Big fear.

So the way you describe it,

It would be like intense initial attraction and then that fear of being trapped.

So it's almost like you go all in and then get really panicky,

Like,

Oh my God,

I'm in here and I'm trapped.

And then you want to run away.

So it's like,

That feels like the dynamic.

And then,

Um,

The main emotion is fear.

I mean,

I might say also add in some panic,

Like around that panicky sort of feeling.

I used to have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks.

So just like disorder,

Right?

So the way you're describing it sounds like a little bit of that panic energy.

So feeling trapped,

Panicky snuffs out sort of what I get,

But as an example,

So you've got your theme,

You've got your words,

Your emotions.

The next thing would be a timeline.

If you've got your theme or your emotion,

Then you would look at the timeline.

So going towards what,

What does this remind you of?

So from family interactions,

Watching your parents,

Um,

And your,

Your family group in society,

Maybe in your school relationships,

Where did you see this playing out?

And it's usually with someone else.

So when we're younger,

We're watching this play out with other people in our lives.

And then we start to,

Um,

Kind of integrate it and internalize it.

We're kind of pulling it out.

We're looking at it.

We're going to check now what's the timeline.

So that's the next step in this.

When did you first remember it?

Or what are some other times you remember this kind of a theme coming up?

The last part is your intention.

So once you become aware and you've brought things to the surface,

So you maybe realize something,

You've had an aha moment.

You're like,

Oh,

Wow,

This is from,

You know,

This interaction or with my parents or whatever it is.

So you've had sort of a light bulb,

Light bulb moment.

And then you say,

Your next thing is really kind of a commitment to yourself and turning it around.

So you're taking the power back from this pattern.

You are saying,

I realized this is what's happened.

I can see where it came from.

I can see how I'm using it now in my relationships and interactions.

And so I'm going to actually take my power back and say,

My intention now is to create a new pattern.

So this is where you go into the intention part and you say,

I intend to learn how to tune into my own intuition or tune into my own self.

So it doesn't have to be perfect.

It doesn't have to be the ultimate solution to whatever the pattern is.

It's just,

You're making steps and changes to move towards a new thing of what you actually want,

What you want to create.

You can also think about what are your desires?

If your desires are to find someone who's on the same wavelength as you,

Where you feel safe with them,

Where you feel free to be yourself,

Free or carefree with yourself when you're with them or something like that.

So that could be your intention,

That you want to learn how to do that.

And you're going to start taking steps towards doing that.

Really the whole process is just spending time with these themes,

Taking one thing at a time,

One little thing,

And you don't have to overwhelm yourself or solve all your life problems in one day.

Okay.

So we just get comfortable into our body.

So you can be sitting up,

Laying down,

Doesn't matter.

Either way is fine.

It's just getting comfortable in your body.

One of the important things would be to feel the support of the earth underneath your feet or under your body.

So if you're laying down,

Just becoming aware of the support of say the couch or the floor,

Or becoming aware of your feet flat on the ground,

Tuning into your body as a whole.

So becoming aware of your body in space,

You can visualize it starting at the top of your head,

Going to the bottom of the feet.

You can just maybe some people will see themselves from another vantage point.

So sometimes you can actually look at yourself from another point of view.

And if you're new to meditation,

This is totally fine.

Everything that you experience is perfect for you,

Whether you're just going to feel warmth or feel calm or feel a loving feeling,

Whatever it is,

Is perfect for you.

So there's no right or wrong.

There's nothing you have to do or experience as part of this.

Taking also a couple of breaths to actually locate yourself in your body.

A lot of times we spend a lot of the day outside of our body.

So if we experience any kind of anxiety,

Or if we have a lot of thoughts or intrusive thoughts,

Or we feel always distracted,

A lot of times it's because we're out of our body,

Meaning we're not really grounded in our body.

And I want you to again,

Go to your feet,

Come aware of the bottom of your feet.

And at this point,

You can see or feel or sense roots growing through the feet,

And we're going to send them all the way down into the earth.

So through the layers of the earth,

All the way into the core.

So you may feel a sensation of being held,

You may feel a sensation of belonging.

We're going right down into the earth and we can call the earth,

Mother Earth,

Filled with unconditional love and support for you,

Your body,

Your energy.

And now bringing up this energy up through the feet,

All the way into the legs,

Drawing up this energy through the legs up into the hips.

So you may feel some warmth,

You may feel a sensation of energy moving up.

And as this energy moves up through the body into the torso,

You may feel your body starting to relax and open up to this process.

Okay,

So this energy is moving all the way up into the chest,

Into the throat,

To the head,

And you may imagine or see this energy releasing up through the top of the head,

Connecting up into the sky,

And seeing a golden ball of energy above your head.

This is your essence,

This is your true self,

And opening the top of the head and seeing this golden light spiraling down through the head.

So feeling this golden warm light circling down through the head,

Throat,

Down the shoulders and arms and out through the hands,

Releasing down through the chest,

All the way down the torso and down the legs,

And then out through the legs.

And just imagining the bottom of the feet opening up and releasing this golden energy into the earth.

So you're now connected to yourself,

You're connected to the earth,

You're fully supported,

Feeling safe,

Feeling a sense of belonging in the body.

And now taking a moment to move into the heart.

So the center of the chest is the energetic heart,

The physical heart,

Your heart chakra.

If you're familiar with yoga or the chakras,

It's just like an energy center of the heart space.

This is where we actually have a lot of wisdom.

This is where you can connect to other people.

This is where you can determine what is the best thing for you.

This is kind of your intuition,

Your second brain.

There's a lot of names for it.

If you want to put your hand on your chest,

You can do that.

And we're just going to take a deep breath into the heart and release.

And now in your heart,

I want you to feel if there's any sense of any heaviness or anything that's there that's making you feel like you want to close down your heart,

Or a part of you that feels like it's ready to open like a flower.

I want you to visualize your favorite flower and imagine that it is blooming and opening and feeling the heart expand as this flower blossoms in your chest.

Whatever you're feeling now is fine.

If you're releasing some emotion,

If you're feeling some heaviness,

If there's anything there that needs to be released,

Just allowing it to drop away so you can visualize it dropping into the earth,

Dropping away like cones of dirt or anything that feels heavy.

Letting go of this final,

Feels like something,

That final thing you're hanging on to.

So maybe it's a past relationship or the idea of something or the disappointment or having to fully let that experience go.

And when we do that,

When we let go of an old experience that we've been trying to hold on to,

We leave space.

We leave space for that situation or a new situation.

So if we're evolving a current relationship,

It's helping you to get to the next level of intimacy,

Connection.

Maybe this is the relationship with yourself.

So there's always a need for letting go and opening,

Letting go and opening.

And this is the process of a flower that blooms,

Opens.

It's like nature,

Cycle of nature and life itself.

And so if we come into sync with nature,

We're able to connect with ourselves more naturally,

Connect with others more naturally,

Be more confident in ourselves and showing other people who we are,

Being our true self and being happy with who we are.

And the more we can do this,

The more magnetic we are for somebody to come in,

The more someone will recognize you for who you are and the more you can recognize yourself for who you are and start to express it into the world.

And the greatest gift that we can give the world is to be ourself.

The greatest thing we can do for anybody,

Including ourselves,

Is to be who we are,

Who you truly are and who you are here to be.

It's a gift and it is so magnetic and powerful and beautiful.

So just letting the heart continue to open,

I can feel just this radiating sense of our own presence.

All of our hearts are opening.

And in this powerful circle that we're in today,

This community that we've gathered with the same intentions of opening our heart,

Of sharing,

Of coming into community,

Of being ourselves,

Of being with each other.

This creates a powerful,

Almost like invitation for all of us to feel safe and feel good about sharing,

Expressing,

Loving and being ourself.

So today,

Because you've shown up,

You've actually supported everyone who's here.

You've supported your own process.

You've helped yourself.

You've helped your body,

Your heart on all levels.

So take a moment to feel very grateful to yourself for showing up today,

Giving yourself that beautiful,

Warm,

And internal hug for being here today,

For sharing your heart,

For allowing it to open,

To connect to others.

And so now thinking again of your intention and seeing if there's any clarity,

Any messages,

Anything that comes forward for you.

It could be in the form of a feeling,

It could be a color,

It could be a symbol,

It could be a knowing.

And just follow that guidance.

It could come afterwards,

Sometimes after the process,

In the hours or minutes after the process,

It comes clear.

Or maybe it's a feeling of lightness.

You've released what you needed to release,

Or you've connected into yourself,

You've plugged into a part of yourself that had been lost.

Taking a moment to congratulate yourself on this intention and for setting the wheels in motion,

For wanting to create something more for yourself,

For wanting to have your desires fulfilled,

And for making a claim for that.

You've set all the wheels in motion today.

And so it is.

Okay,

So we're going to start coming back into the room.

I want you to just take a moment to really feel your body again,

Feel your feet or your body against the ground,

Feeling that support,

Feeling really rejuvenated,

Connected,

Clear,

Calm,

And open.

You can start to move your fingers and your toes,

Just start moving your body around.

Coming back into the room,

Fully alert,

Awake,

And in the moment.

Ready,

You can start to slowly open your eyes.

You can stretch,

Take water,

Sometimes a good idea to just move your shoulders around,

Stand up,

Whatever you have to do.

Okay,

So give us all a moment to just fully come back.

I can say that I really enjoy seeing my heart as a flower and it opening up.

I could feel energetically like the shift and me being more lighter and freer.

And then I also feel that it really helped for me to reconnect to the earth because I've been on the go a lot and we don't realize how it can distract us,

So it felt good to reconnect.

Yeah,

That's beautiful.

I like that.

I felt pretty strongly about the grounding and that we get so busy and that feeling of almost being out of our body and then we get so many thoughts and we're going in every direction.

So it's really nice to get back into our heart and into our body.

So it's exactly what we wanted.

I think I for sure felt your connection.

There was a lot of resonance between what you were saying and what was coming through in me.

There was a shocking amount of resonance.

There's a lot going on in here right now.

Yeah,

So that's good.

I guess that's what I was saying.

Sometimes we can have so much going on in here,

We get really overwhelmed.

So I would say maybe just allowing any of those sensations in the body to really come forward and have their moment.

We give our thoughts and mind so much access and so much play all the time that we need to give our body and our hearts that same amount of attention because it's really been shown that our heart can actually be wiser than our brain.

It's like our thoughts will take us in every direction,

But our heart always knows.

It's just that difficult thing of getting the connection between the heart and brain.

I don't know who said that,

But it was like,

There's some saying about the longest journey is from the head to the heart.

Thank you for sharing that.

That's a great point.

On strategies,

And this is kind of connected to what we were just doing.

I found the most powerful in my life have been very simple techniques.

And it's usually the simpler,

The more powerful.

So I would just ask your mind or you set aside your thoughts in your mind right now,

This is figuring out what your yes and your no is in your body so that you can actually figure out some signals,

Like how to take the best action.

Cause a lot of the women I've worked with,

They have a very finely tuned intuitive sense.

So they can really pick up on other people's feelings.

They're empathic.

They can understand what's going on in a room.

They're very,

Very good at that.

But what happens is they get very overwhelmed and kind of confused about what's theirs and what's other people's,

They kind of will ignore or go against their biggest intuitive guidance,

Or they'll,

They'll get a strong sense like,

Oh,

I should go in this direction or I should ignore this or I shouldn't do this or whatever.

And then they'll go towards that instead of listening to it.

So we need to start with the basics and figure out what is your body actually telling you and your intuition.

So this is kind of like your gut instinct and intuitive sense.

And even if you've done this for a lot of years,

It's good to go back to the basics.

If you're having any issues with this,

If you feel like you're sabotaging yourself or you're making choices that aren't good for you,

And you want to figure out why this is the best place to start.

This is very simple.

Again,

We're just going to figure out getting back into the body.

So whether you put your feet flat on the ground or whatever you're going to do,

And then close your eyes.

And I want you to think of something that is a big yes for you.

So something,

You know,

For a hundred percent certainty is something you love or would be a yes for you.

We've got to kind of go to the past for this,

Because like I said,

Sometimes we can ignore these symbols and get ourselves confused.

So what is a sure yes for you?

It could be that,

You know,

You love animals or you love to travel or you love the ocean or,

You know,

You feel really expansive and like your body does a big yes when you do a certain thing or go to a certain place or you're with certain people.

So think of that yes for yourself,

For example,

Maybe going to the ocean and then tuning into your body and where does it feel,

Where is the yes coming from?

So for me,

For example,

It's a feeling where my heart actually lifts up.

So it almost feels like this lifting and lightening.

So it's a lift and an open,

Kind of like the process we just did,

Where your heart's opening like a flower.

So for me,

My yes is just automatically I feel this lift in my body and my heart opens.

So does anyone have any examples of a yes for them that they're getting pretty quickly right now or that they already kind of knew about?

What I feel,

I wasn't consciously aware of it,

But what I felt is like a hug,

Like a warm embrace,

Like it's this kind of feel like a marshmallow,

Like type of spiritual marshmallow embrace.

Oh,

I love that.

That's really nice.

Yeah,

Because that warm hug is that feeling of support,

Feeling like everything's okay.

Like that's a beautiful confirmation of a yes.

Okay,

I think we,

The idea for that,

I wanted to go to the opposite of that.

So what is a no?

For me,

It's almost like the way I describe it as like a cattle prod,

Like someone,

Like a jolt of adrenaline.

If someone were to jolt me in my solar plexus with adrenaline,

That would be a no for me.

And it's almost,

It's a feeling of an electric shock.

And it's funny because we could also have this kind of feeling when we meet someone.

And this is where I want you to discern or when you're around certain people is to actually figure out that that's a no for you.

Because a lot of women,

Including myself in the past,

I've misinterpreted that signal and thought,

Oh,

I'm really attracted to this person.

Like I'm physically really attracted to them.

And it was really my body being like,

No,

Like run in the other direction.

This is where we got to figure out and translate what our signals actually are telling us.

Does anyone have an example of a no?

I'll share mine again.

Mine is more like a nauseous feeling,

But it's like a combination between my root chakra and my sacral chakra where it just feel like it's coming back.

Like it's regurgitating.

Like that's what,

Like a pulse.

That's what my no feels like.

Almost like,

What's that?

When you have heartburn.

Like,

Yeah,

That's a good,

That's a good strong no for you.

Sometimes the problem is if we are ignoring these signals or if we're misinterpreting them or over the years we've had issues with choosing things that are not good for us.

And it could be many reasons for this.

Your upbringing,

People-placing,

Just trying to get your needs met in different ways that you've had to use your coping mechanisms.

Whatever the reason is,

It's totally fine.

It's just understanding that over the years,

Maybe you've not listened to the yes or the no,

And you have gone in the direction that you kind of know it's not good for you.

What happens is those signals start to get dampened and they get quieter and they get quieter and they get less and less obvious.

And then we get more confused because we can't hear what is going on.

And that's when our thoughts take over and we get all this anxiety because we're kind of disconnected from our body and our signals and our intuition.

And so we go to our mind,

Like what's the logical thing we need to do here?

Or you go into your mind in the past relationships and start getting into the stories and things that have happened to you.

And that's how you're interpreting things instead of going back to the basics and figuring out what is your intuition telling you.

The other thing is that we sometimes shame ourselves for having this,

You know,

We feel bad,

Like,

Oh,

There's an experience and my intuition's saying,

No,

Don't do this or don't be with this person or whatever it is.

And then we feel bad because we want to give the person a chance or we want to be a nice person or we want to be,

You know,

Give the benefit of the doubt.

And you might have an idea about yourself as not judging people.

So all of those reasons,

You would ignore that no and try to give it another chance,

Try to stay a little longer,

Try to create that connection when it's not maybe the best thing for you.

And so that's another pattern that we can get stuck in where we're in something and for a long time,

That's not good for us.

And I did this with many relationships where it was,

You know,

Two,

Three,

Four years too long.

And it's because I had this idea of myself of not judging and I needed to give them a lot of chances.

So when you don't listen to your intuition,

Because you feel like you're feeling bad about yourself for listening to your intuition.

The one thing I wanted to say is it's not about the other person and you're not actually judging them.

It could be that that person is not right for you,

But it has nothing to do with them.

So I want you to think of it that way.

This is not that you're judging people.

It's that literally part of your life,

For whatever reason,

You're not meant to be with them,

Or there's something better for that person and for you.

Maybe just turn that around and think of it differently.

Listening to your intuition doesn't mean you're judging the other person.

And if you have to walk away from them or make a decision around it,

It's not because there's anything wrong with them per se.

So my question is two into one.

So the first one,

Does everybody have the ability to feel?

I know we all have an intuition,

But is it all the same?

Like how you just processed with the yes and the no,

Regardless of the human design or regardless of other things,

Does everybody have the ability to feel that way?

Oh,

Definitely.

Yes.

Everyone has their own.

It's your own GPS system.

So it's like,

It's part of who you are.

It's part of being a person.

And maybe you didn't learn about it or people didn't grow up knowing about it,

But everybody does have an intuition.

Some people are taught it's only your body and that's it.

And there's nothing else beyond that.

And that's fine.

But there is something else going on besides just your physical body,

Your mind and your heart and everything is picking up on things all the time.

And it's just part of being a person here,

Regardless of whatever you believe,

I'm not talking about religion or anything like that.

This is just the way we are designed.

And you can look at a lot of even scientific studies that have shown that we can actually,

The heart can pick up on things like a few seconds before the mind does.

And all these amazing studies have been done to show and to really highlight the fact that we all have this kind of GPS system that is constantly giving you information.

It's just how we take it and whether we listen to it is how,

Whether we get in trouble or not.

The biggest problem is having either feeling shame or judgment or something bad about ourselves regarding whatever the instinct or intuition is telling us.

That's usually where we get into trouble with ourselves,

Not believing,

Not knowing or judging what we're actually feeling.

Got it.

So that leads into the second part,

Which is how do you make peace when you didn't listen to your intuition or you like how you said you stayed in a relationship all along,

Like you were being told no,

You ignored it.

I'm sure that there were consequences.

I hate that word,

But for lack of better words,

There were things that you dealt with that you didn't want to as a result of it.

So how do you make peace after you ignored it?

Yeah.

So my process has always been going from awareness.

That's the first thing is just becoming aware of it that,

Okay,

Where am I in my life and what do I desire and how far am I away from what I desire and kind of looking at all the pieces,

What have I created and what choices have I made and what am I doing from like an objective kind of big picture thing.

That's the first part is just awareness.

And then you have to move into the acceptance.

So I had to accept the fact that I made all these choices up to this point and whether you call it forgiveness or whatever you want to call it,

I had to move into being okay with everything I've done up till this point.

And that's always a process.

We're constantly evaluating that and saying,

You know,

All these choices I've made,

There's nothing I can do.

And I accept that about myself.

And the thing I stopped doing was beating myself up for everything that I had made a choice about up until now or everything that had happened and choosing not to get down on myself.

So that's the acceptance part.

And then the last piece is authenticity.

So you get to the point where you're going to authentically figure out what your desires are,

What you want to create in your life,

Who you want to be,

And then start expressing that authentically as much as you can in steps,

Like in baby steps or starting off in ways that feel safe.

But that's really my process that I work with the women I work with.

It's just,

It's always,

You've got to know what you've done up to this point and have the awareness.

And then you've got to accept yourself for everything you've done and then move into the creation or what you want with the focus on authenticity,

Which involves expression and getting your needs met and speaking your truth and all those different things are involved in that.

So does that make sense?

It most definitely does.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

I wanted to get to Susanna's question in the chat here.

How do we let go of expectations?

I would say that we always have expectations for a certain,

Like,

You know,

We can't really get rid of it.

So I would say that it's more about accepting the fact that you have expectations and figuring out what they are and becoming aware of what they are and then seeing if they're a problem for you.

So it's fine to have expectations in terms of standards or in terms of,

You know,

You expect things to be a certain way for yourself.

You know,

Life doesn't always go the way we expect,

But it's okay to have certain expectations.

There's nothing wrong with that.

It's when we're not really aware of what we're expecting or if it's really subconscious and our expectations are causing us a lot of suffering or causing us to,

You know,

Make the choices that aren't good for us or,

You know,

Making us ignore certain things or whatever it is.

If the expectations are causing you to do certain things,

Then are not getting you what you want and are moving you further away from that and making you feel isolated and whatever it is,

Then you've got to go back to figuring out what your expectations are,

Coming to terms with them,

Again,

Accepting them,

And then expressing and finding ways to meet your own needs and desires in the best way that you can,

And then connecting with other people around that.

I have another question.

I'm trying not to hog that in the beginning.

My intention is to get to know more about you and your process and how you work,

But I also think in this last question that it can also help us and be driftwood for us.

So,

I was wondering if you could describe how you felt before you entered into your relationship that you have now,

And you just started,

Like,

Touching on that,

You know,

In terms of,

Like,

The searching for the twin flame,

But if you could describe how you felt before,

Like,

This idea of what you thought that relationship would be like compared to reality and what you feel now that you've been in it for a while.

What is that like?

So,

The thing that happened right before I met my husband was I had one of the worst crash and burn relationships that I had had,

And it was one of the worst breakups and heartbreaks I've had in 35 years.

So,

I was basically brought to my knees.

I'm not saying that everyone has to go through this,

But it was the catalyst in my life where after that happened,

I said to myself,

And I kind of brought this energy of enough is enough,

And this is never going to happen again.

I'm never going to allow this to happen again,

And I'm not going to ever go through this kind of relationship and heartbreak again.

And so,

I moved into,

Like,

Finding my person from that energy of I deserve true love.

I deserve and I'm worthy of the kind of love that I've always dreamed of,

And I'm not going to settle for anything less,

And it was an extremely strong energy that I've never felt before,

And that was the catalyst.

That was kind of the camel or the straw that broke the camel's back,

I guess,

In my situation,

And so then my process,

I started really digging into what I was looking for and going through all those steps,

But with that kind of energy,

Like,

Enough is enough.

I'm not going to recreate.

I'm not going to allow myself to recreate what I had over the last few decades,

And I got support.

I had support from practitioners helping me through this.

That was the other thing.

I was always trying to do things on my own.

I was always trying to DIY it,

And certain things,

If you want to change some really strong patterns,

I would say you always have to get help.

Any kind of really difficult challenge that we have in life or some kind of pattern that we can't overturn,

The only way is,

You know,

The other person was able to see what I couldn't see for myself and help me through the process and be accountable,

Help me be accountable to myself to change those patterns.

So,

That's what I did.

I got a lot of help and went through that process and had that extreme conviction that this is going to happen,

And I wasn't going to not let it happen,

And then when we met,

It's been better than I ever imagined.

So,

It wasn't the fact that I had to come down to earth and kind of be like,

Oh,

I'm disappointed a little bit,

But this is good enough.

It was actually,

And not even a fairy tale type of thing,

It was,

It's better than I could have ever imagined because I actually couldn't even imagine a really good relationship based on my past experiences.

So,

That proves that you can actually have an amazing relationship,

Even if you've never experienced it,

And you can't even imagine it because that's what I experienced.

But yeah,

It's been an absolute pleasure to be here with everyone in this forum.

I just want to thank you.

Thank you for holding the space and for sharing.

It was very enlightening,

And even just feeling the difference.

Like,

I feel lighter from when we first joined.

Thank you everyone for being here.